


GOOD INTENTIONS & DIRE CONSEQUENCES

by jezalex



Category: Original Work
Genre: Enemy Lovers, England (Country), F/F, F/M, France (Country), M/M, Navy, Parent-Child Relationship, Parent/Child Incest, Regency Romance, Rumours, post-napoleonic war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:28:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 107,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25423150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jezalex/pseuds/jezalex
Summary: When the war between France and England ends with Napoléon’s defeat in 1814, Rear-Admiral Yannick Mersac finds that his glorious career is far from an advantage in a France governed again by a King. His difficulties increase tenfold when unsavoury stories about his private life are printed in newspapers and pamphlets. Some of the stories are true, others are lies or wild exaggerations of the facts. They depict him as a depraved rapist with a particular taste for orgies with young sailors. Deeply wounded by the rumours, Mersac is also worried that his young wayward daughter and his sensitive adopted son hear of these rumours. His English aunt has given him a manor in Cornwall so he chooses to disappear and start a new life under a different identity. But a different name does not mean a different man: he is still the same person, true to his beliefs and principles. Living with painful memories from his childhood and youth, and the heartbreaking separation from his sister has never been not easy, neither is hiding at all cost his sexual preference for men. For his children’s sake, he must lay his ghosts to rest, and try to forget the handsome English captain he met one night in Indonesia.
Relationships: family history - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I have been thinking of writing down for a long time. I have enjoyed developing the lives of my characters months after months. It is not a short story, it develops over the years, with joys and sorrows. It's about friendship, love, loyalty, and coming to terms with past dreadful events.

Prologue  
1785  
It was Christmas eve in Paris. In his fashionable townhouse, the 49-year-old Pierre Desloges, Comte de Mersac was well-aware that he was dying. He would not see the new year. The surgeon had removed the bullet that his duelling adversary had lodged in his body, but the damage done was too severe for him to recover. Death was unavoidable. Pierre’s only hope was that his agony would be worth it. At least, he thought wearily, he was given a little time to put his affairs in order before quitting this life. For most people, this meant making his peace with God, but Pierre had stopped believing a long time ago and rather than spending what little time he had left praying to a hypothetical God, he was going to do all he could to protect his dear young nephew and godson.  
Jean-Baptiste was 7 years old, a bright, beautiful and lively boy, a child he would have loved to call his own; unfortunately, Jean-Baptiste was the son of his half-brother Valentin and his wife, the lovely Lady Charlotte Kermor. Pierre sighed heavily. His brother did not realise how lucky he was to have such a wife and son. Pierre was unmarried, and one of his greatest regrets in life was that he had not met Lady Charlotte before her union to Valentin; he had fallen head over heels in love with her as she was walking down the aisle to be married to the half-brother he despised.   
Pierre and Valentin had never liked each other. Pierre was the fruit of the love match between Pierre-Louis and Amélie, but his parents’ happiness had been short lived. Amélie had been devastated when her husband had died accidentally when Pierre was only 2 years old. After 7 years of widowhood, Amélie had married Anatole de Courcelles, Duc de Térouanne, and her son who had always believed that he would remain the only one in his mother’s heart had deeply resented the arrival of a step-father in his life. Then, in 1746, one year after the marriage, Amélie gave birth to another son, Valentin, at Térouanne, her new husband’s country château in Normandy. Pierre first ignored his little brother, but after a few spiteful incidents involving the little child, he was sent away to college in Cherbourg by Anatole who was exasperated by a step-son intent on disrupting their lives. At 14, Pierre entered the naval college in Rochefort to become an officer in the ‘Royale’; he had at last found his way, this was the life he wanted to live. Unfortunately, his naval career came to an abrupt end at 34. His mother died and his stepfather stopped overseeing the management of his lands at Mersac. Anatole had helped Amélie manage her son’s inheritance when Pierre was underage and they had continued to do so on his behalf while he was at sea, but now that Amélie was gone Anatole was no longer prepared to do it. Ironically, the child who had bitterly resented being taken away from his childhood home, the old medieval castle of Mersac was now obliged to return there and look after his land and people, abandoning the sea he loved so much.  
Pierre and Valentin hardly ever saw each other after Amélie’s passing. They both lived some of the time at the Versailles court but not in the same circles. Pierre belonged in Queen Marie-Antoinette’s close circle of friends at court; the young queen was very fond of his wine and brandy and Pierre was just the right kind of handsome fun loving men she liked to have around. It was because of this connection that Pierre was invited to Valentin and Lady Charlotte’s marriage in 1777; Valentin would benefit from his half-brother’s connections had said Anatole, worried that his son was too close to the Queen’s enemy, the Comte de Provence. When Charlotte gave birth to Jean-Baptiste, 9 months later, and under Anatole’s renewed influence, Valentin asked his half-brother to become the child’s godfather to improve their family ties. Anatole never stopped reminding Valentin that he was Pierre’s heir and that his brother still showed no inclination to marry.  
Pierre took his role of godfather seriously and visited often, at first because it gave him an excuse to see Charlotte whom he secretly loved until he started to really enjoy spending time with Jean-Baptiste. He found highly amusing the fact that Jean-Baptiste had black hair and green eyes like he did. He knew it upset Valentin who, like his wife, was blond and blue eyed. Pierre took the young child out sailing every time he visited Térouanne. Valentin, when he was around, didn’t object, only too happy to be rid of his son and of his half-brother at the same time. Pierre manned his sleek cutter with Yannick, an old sailor who used to be his ship’s master before he retired from the navy. Old Yannick liked nothing more than telling endless tales of sea adventures to the enthralled child. As the years passed, Pierre became more and more aware of Valentin’s strong dislike for his son and he worried for the boy’s future in case he was no longer around to protect him before he reached adulthood. So Pierre had re-written his will and he had made his young nephew his sole heir instead of Valentin. He had also obtained from the king the right to pass on his hereditary title to his nephew.   
Pierre had seen the look in his half-brother’s eyes when he had visited him on his death bed. He knew he was already planning on how to use his fortune after his demise. But Pierre had thwarted his brother: he had called his solicitor as soon as he had regained consciousness and had reviewed his will. He wanted to make sure that Valentin would not squander his son’s wealth before the child reached his majority. He therefore he entrusted the management of the inheritance to his solicitor until Jean-Baptiste’s 21st birthday. Anne-Laure, his 4-year-old niece and Jean-Baptiste’s younger sister, was to receive a hefty sum to provide her with a dowry large enough for her to be choosy regarding her future husband. The dowry would only be released on her 18th birthday. After his will was signed and entrusted into the hands of Maître Dubois in Paris, Pierre felt at peace, persuaded to have done his best for his nephew and his niece.   
“Now my only regret is that I will not see the look on Valentin’s face when my will is read!” Was one of the last thoughts going through his mind when he breathed his last a few hours later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1813 - INDONESIA

Rear-Admiral Mersac was seething with rage. The rajah of the island of Kediri was toying with him. Mersac had accepted every one of his conditions so far because his old two-decker had needed the dry dock facilities that Kediri was the only island to possess in the area to get her refitted before sailing back to France. After eight long years in these warm waters, Danae had sorely needed to have its hull cleared of barnacles and other organisms as well as other essential repairs. Mersac planned to cross the Pacific ocean and go back to France through Cape Horn, a long and hazardous sail at the best of time, so old Danae had to be in the best possible condition to confront the weather and to escape from the English war ships she would encounter on her way.   
He had paid the extortionist rates the rajah had demanded to use his island’s docking facilities; his crew had done all the work; his men had not been allowed to go on land or have natives come on board; he had paid the ridiculously high prices required to refill his barrels with fresh water and to obtain the food and the live animals he needed for the cruise; and after every task had been completed, and Danae had finally been taken out of the dry docks to ride at anchor before sailing away, an English squadron had entered the port.   
One ship-of-the line and three frigates. He knew that they would not dare attack him where all five ships were vulnerable within the range of the port’s canons. He couldn’t just make a run for it just like that, the English would be expecting it and be ready. Four ships against one, the odds were poor, he had to wait, think and prepare his move carefully. And then, after three days of anxious waiting for the right time to put his plan into motion, he had watched a boat carrying an officer from the rajah reach the flag-ship of the English squadron while another was making for his own ship, also carrying an officer of the Indian ruler, and the invitation that provoked his seething rage.  
Captain Hadrian Keighley of the frigate Lysis was invited, together with his fellow officers, to attend a party tonight at the rajah’s palace. Not quite an invitation though, a summon to attend was nearer the truth. They were in the port of the island of Kediri in Indonesia ruled by a rajah although the island was theoretically under Dutch rule. Their squadron of four men-of-war had reached the port a few days earlier and had been surprised to discover, swinging on her anchor in the port, an enemy: ‘Danae’, the ship of Rear-Admiral Mersac no less, the annoyingly elusive Mersac, who had been attacking English merchant ships relentlessly for now 8 years in the Indian ocean, skilfully avoiding capture by the English navy. Their squadron’s mission was to find her, take her or sink her, whatever, but put her out of action in any case for she was a thorn in the Admiralty’s side. Every sailor on board the 4 English ships hoped that they would take her rather than sink her because it was rumoured that Danae carried a fortune in her hold; the prize money for each jack could be worth several years of pay and, for its officers, fortune and fame.   
But the rajah had made it clear, the French were his guests just like the English were, and no guest of his was to be attacked in his port. Sir Philip Armstrong, Keighley’s Rear-Admiral did not want a diplomatic incident, he did not want the rajah’s canons firing at his ships either. He decided that he would give chase to Danae as soon as she left Port. Then, out of the blue, the rajah had sent out this invitation to the ships’ officers, English and French alike, to come to a party at the palace. The senior officers would spend the night sleeping there. It was made clear that the request was not to be denied.  
That’s how Captain Keighley found himself at this party in the company of his Rear-Admiral, three fellow captains, and several lieutenants, all of them waiting impatiently to set eyes on the elusive French Admiral and his officers. The door finally opened, and men in French uniforms entered the room. The French party was as expected much smaller than the English one, it consisted of the French Rear-Admiral, his flag captain, 2 lieutenants and a surgeon.  
As soon as Captain Keighley’s eyes fell on the French Rear-Admiral he was moon struck. He had never in his life seen a more strikingly handsome man. The Frenchman was in his mid-thirties, much younger than Hadrian had expected; he was tall and slim, a picture of elegance in his dress uniform. He had thick black hair, swept back but for a lock falling on his forehead, and the perfect classic face of an antique statue. He also had the most mesmerizing emerald green eyes Captain Keighley had ever seen.   
Captain Hadrian Keighley was attracted to men. He had to hide his inclination of course. If caught, at worse he would likely hang; at best he would be dismissed from the navy in disgrace. The French Rear-Admiral’s presence frightened him because on the one hand he knew he had to look elsewhere to have a chance to control his desire for this man and on the other hand he also knew that he was compelled to keep looking at him. He was utterly bewitched.  
The French party stayed well clear of the English officers, they remained aloof and kept to themselves. Their dislike at being there was obvious. The rajah clearly enjoyed his guests’ discomfort in the knowledge that all these mighty arrogant European officers were under his control, forced to be in the same room and not antagonise each other despite their eagerness to do so. Hadrian’s eyes kept wandering towards Mersac. His friend Thomas Adams, the flag-captain in their squadron and who knew of his friend’s ungodly taste, noticed it.  
‘Stop staring at him, for God’s sake, someone will notice,’ he hissed quietly.  
‘I can’t, I can’t tear my eyes away, I’ve never felt such attraction before,’ there was nearly desperation in Hadrian’s voice.  
‘You are totally and utterly mad. You heard what the rajah said, if anything happens to one of his guests, he will exert vengeance. Our ships are under his guns, we’re at his mercy. As for Mersac, if you offend him, he will cry wolf and you will lose all you have.’  
‘I know, I know, I am not stupid.’  
‘Then stop staring at him. Find yourself a willing servant tonight and fantasize but don’t approach Mersac at any cost.’  
Hadrian nodded, he chose to go out to the balcony for fresh air. He sighed, Thomas was right of course, he had to pull himself together and find a distraction of some sort. After a little while enjoying the heady scent of the exotic flowers of the Rajah’s gardens down below, he turned around to face the room. He meant to look at the lithe young male servants who were carrying food and drink to the guests, hoping to catch the eyes of one of them, instead he caught the eyes of Mersac. The Frenchman was standing a few feet away from him and he was looking straight at him. They gazed at each other for what seemed to be several minutes but were probably only seconds and, Hadrian knew without a doubt that he would not be able to content himself with a servant tonight, even if he had a rather fertile imagination.  
His emotions played havoc with him. What was Mersac up to, was he trying to provoke him to make a mistake or could he be interested? It did not seem possible but then why not? He had found out in the past that his own good looks had caught the attentions of men he had not guessed shared his inclinations. For Hadrian was very attractive himself. He was slightly taller and broader than Mersac, with a handsome face and blue eyes. He was proud of his wavy golden hair and he kept it long with an old-fashion queue. Hadrian was used to being stared at, but in this present instance, he just did not know what to make of it. He could not for the life of him work it out.   
He came back into the room, joined conversation with his fellow officers and, every now and then, managed to steal a sidelong glance at the object of his desire. Their eyes met several times across the room. Mersac held his gaze for a few seconds each time. Hadrian played this exciting game with the Frenchman very carefully, aware than he could not afford someone else noticing. The big question was of course: was Mersac flirting with him or was he trying to push him to make an indecent proposal and provoke a huge scandal by playing the offended innocent party. It could work out to the French Admiral’s advantage, Hadrian mused; the rajah might let the French ship leave the port and stop the English chase it in retaliation for the offence committed. The rajah’s intentions were unclear. After all, Holland was in theory allied with the French in the war, but news from Europe was very slow at reaching this part of the world, and no-one really knew what the true situation there was at this moment in time, countries has switched sides before. Hadrian’s good sense warned him that this was likely the trick Mersac had worked out, the trouble was that he had never before experienced such intense desire, and he was struggling trying to control his erection; the situation was getting unbearable.  
The soirée dragged on until late, until the rajah had finally been amused sufficiently, and gave the signal that the party was over. The two rear-admirals and the captains were invited to repair to the bedrooms prepared for them in the palace while the other officers regained their ships. The two Frenchmen retired first, Hadrian was one of the first English officers to follow them. His heart lurched when he saw Mersac turn slightly around after reaching his door, and bore his eyes into his for a few seconds again, giving him the same intense look as the one he had given him several times during the evening. His face was deadpan, but his eyes said ‘I dare you’ and Hadrian was thrown in the worst emotional conundrum of his life, and his life was precisely what he was playing with.   
Hadrian entered his bedroom, tantalizingly near the Frenchman’s on the opposite side of the corridor. It was beautifully exotically furnished, with flowers in vases, flowing drapes, and silk bed covers everything made to please his senses. A bath had been prepared, filled with cool scented water, and he laid in it, relaxing and trying his best to let the rational part of his brain convince him that he had to do no more than dream about the gorgeous Frenchman. He did his best to fight against the conflicting emotions that raked through him, but at the end one picture kept coming back: that of Mersac’s stunning eyes daring him as he stood by his door.  
He finally made his mind up; he got out of the bath, dried himself, put his shirt and pants back on and left his room, bare feet. He knew how high the stakes were, if he got this wrong then his career and more than likely his life would be over. Hadrian enjoyed gambling and often took risks although this was the highest he had ever taken. But he couldn’t help it, he felt in his bones that he had guessed right, that Mersac really wanted him, and that this risk was going to be worth taking.  
He checked that the corridor was empty and walked to his door. One deep breath and he knocked softly. So be it. The dice was cast. The door opened. Mersac stood there, less than one foot from him, his face unreadable. Hadrian half expected a cold snide comment or even a blade held to his throat for daring to knock or worse of all a shout for help against intrusion. Instead, the French Admiral gave him a long look up and down his body. Then he stepped back, opening his door wide. Hadrian entered, Mersac closed the door. Hadrian heard the key turn in the lock and he realised that he had stopped breathing.  
Mersac turned around to face him, their eyes meeting. He wore a dove grey silk housecoat closed at the front by a row of mother-of-pearl buttons. He stepped nearer, Hadrian did too, their lips met, just a tentative brushing at first, Hadrian felt the Frenchman’s breath, his lips parting, he was going to be allowed to kiss him deeply. His tongue sought the other man’s, the kiss deepened, he was exultant, Mersac wanted him also. Passion erupted, Hadrian was hard, and he was not the only one, he felt the other man’s passion through the silk fabric. He needed to hold him closer, feel his skin; he started to undo the buttons of the housecoat one by one and meeting no resistance from the Frenchman, he continued until he could slid his hands beneath the silk, gasping when he touched bare skin. Mersac was naked underneath and responding passionately to his touch. Hadrian felt the other man’s fingers undoing the buttons of his pants which slid to the floor, then Mersac broke off the kiss to pull up Hadrian’s shirt impatiently over his head while he was stepping off his pants; he pushed the open housecoat off the Frenchman’s shoulders so that it too spooled to the floor. They were both naked now, both hard and kissing each other with something like desperation.  
Then Mersac pushed Hadrian back a little. His eyes were dark, full of desire. He caught Hadrian by the elbow and led him to the bed. Hadrian took Mersac in his arms again, kissing his mouth and running his hands up and down his back, before caressing his buttocks, sliding fingers down the middle. Mersac sighed before pushing him off again. Hadrian worried for a second that he had not correctly read the signals sent to him but then Mersac turned around and lay on the bed, obviously offering himself to Hadrian’s lust. There was no way that Hadrian could have controlled himself at that point. The man’s body was so wonderfully beautiful, and so obviously willing. All thoughts of an eventual trap had flown out of his head by then. He caressed and kissed the perfect body spread open on the bed, kissed his shoulders and his back, fondled him, prepared him gently with his wet fingers for their coupling and not being able to hold on any longer he entered him. Mersac sighed and moaned with pleasure, they rocked together, their bodies locked intimately; Hadrian groaned, mumbling passionate and dirty words in the Frenchman’s ear before picking up speed; he had wanted the moment to last but he knew he couldn’t hold on for long, he had dreamt of this all evening so holding back his climax was beyond his will. As it was Mersac came first, he cried out, Hadrian felt his surrender, his shuddering and he followed, spilling his seeds inside the most intimate part of the exquisite French Admiral’s body.   
Gently, Hadrian pulled himself off the perfect body underneath his to lay on his side. They smiled, facing each other, both content. No word as such had been been exchanged, only sighs and moans, and Hadrian’s passionate dirty mumbling.  
‘Tu tires bien, beau capitaine,’ the voice was husky.  
Hadrian had learnt French in his youth, but it took him a little while to understand the compliment, this familiar expression was not the kind one learnt from tutors. He smiled and kissed the tantalizing lips again. He wanted to stay in this bed, make love again. He knew he could only have this one night with the Frenchman. Mersac was kissing him back, running his fingers through his long hair; It was so good, so perfect, so totally forbidden, doubly so: two men, two enemies. They knew what the risks were and yet neither was willing to let go of the other. Their hands wandered, slowly discovering each other’s body as they had not taken the time before, the urgency to mate had been too overwhelming. They did so now, kissing and stroking each other until they were once again ready for intercourse. It lasted longer and was sweeter this time until passion led them to the inevitable conclusion and release which left their bodies wonderfully sated.   
Hadrian woke up suddenly, someone was knocking at the door. His brain immediately alerted him to imminent danger as he remembered in whose bed he was. He sat up in bed. Next to him, Mersac was also awake. He put one hand on Hadrian’s chest, pushing him back on the pillow with one finger across his mouth, as he signalled him to be quiet. He got up, picking up Hadrian’s discarded clothes from the floor and dropping them out of sight, as he walked calmly to the door. He slipped into his house coat and pulled the door ajar. Hadrian could not see who was in the corridor, the bed was not within sight from the corridor, luckily for him, a French lieutenant translated the dialogue in French between Mersac and an English officer whose voice Hadrian recognised: he was Sit Philip’s flag lieutenant:   
Mersac: ‘What is all this noise about, what are these Englishmen doing at my door at this early hour?’  
Lieutenant : ‘They are looking for one of their officers, mon Amiral, they have obtained the right to search every room.’  
Mersac : ‘Dare they suggest that I could hide this officer in MY room? Maybe even in MY bed?’   
Mersac’s outraged tone of voice and words made the English officer guess that offending the French Admiral could lend him into trouble. He muttered some words of excuses and they left.  
Mersac locked the door again then he slowly returned to the bed, taking his house coat off and offering the view of his naked body to his English lover. Hadrian had sat up in bed, he did not move, unable to take his eyes off the gorgeous man who, after reaching the bed, pulled off the sheets and climbed on to straddle him, pressing their naked bodies together, seeking his mouth. There was no way Hadrian could resist this. He quite happily let the Frenchman take the lead, kissing and caressing him, rubbing their cocks together between their stomachs until, after breaking their kiss and staring Hadrian in the eyes, he slowly impaled himself on the English captain. Hadrian gasped, his hands grabbed his lover’s hips and he helped him move in and out of him, faster and faster until they came undone, holding each other a while longer until Mersac sighed and gently pulled himself away.  
‘ Tu dois partir maintenant, tu ne dois pas prendre de risques, on doit encore te chercher. ’  
‘Je sais,’ Hadrian wanted to say something else, but the words would not come, his French was not good enough to answer although he had understood the words, the emotions rendered him tongue-tied anyway. He had to leave even though he did not want to and felt desperately sad because he knew that an opportunity for a night such as the one he had been offered was unlikely to ever repeat itself. He pulled himself together, got out of bed and got dressed; Mersac followed him, opened the door carefully to check the corridor; it was empty. He nodded to Hadrian who couldn’t help but steal a quick kiss on his lover’s lips before getting out and hurrying back to his bedroom.  
Hadrian pulled on his uniform in a hurry and joined his fellow officers waiting by their boats on the quay. He explained his missing their early rendezvous and absence from his room with a tale of taking a turn in the gardens last night because he found the air too stifling inside to sleep. He had finally fallen asleep under a tree in the fresh air. He saw that they were not convinced by his explanations and a few coarse jokes about pretty scantily-dressed native girls were made when Sir Philip was out of hearing. Hadrian caught Thomas looking at him and speculate but they did not speak to each other.   
Throughout the day, Hadrian’s eyes often strayed towards ‘Danae’, wishing to catch a glimpse of a tall officer with a shock of black hair walking her quarterdeck. He felt in a kind of daze and at the same time on top of the world: three times last night he had made the French admiral surrender in his arms… The French ship was very quiet, nearly a ghost ship, not a sound was heard. Night came, Hadrian went to his berth hoping to sleep and maybe relive the previous night in his dreams.  
In the early hours of the morning, frantic knocks and shouts on his cabin door tore him from his deep slumber.  
‘The French are escaping!’   
Hadrian rushed on deck. Unbelievably so, ‘Danae’ was letting out her sails catching the tide and the morning wind. She was already at the port entrance. She had moved silently, pulled by her boats in complete silence. The sails had also been unfurled in complete silence. Hadrian swore. It was going to take them a while to get on the way. His frigate was nearest to ‘Danae’, but he knew that the French ship’s advance was going to be difficult to make up. ‘Danae’ was a faster ship than his in the first place and she was flying away, the chase promised to be a hard and long one. Hadrian was going to do his best to catch up, even so he knew that even if he did, his frigate would unlikely win a fight against a ship with twice her fire-power, all he could hope for was to slow the French down until the rest of their squadron caught up. The prospect of engaging in close combat with his lover’s ship was bleak.  
He needn’t have worried; his frigate did not even make it out of the port. The wind, insolently, was on the side of the French. ‘Danae’ ran fast away to the horizon with a fair wind while the English ships were becalmed, their sails uselessly limping on their masts.   
The meeting in Sir Philip’s cabin was highly unpleasant. He shouted and ranted at his officers for their lack of proper surveillance of the French ship. They all knew that Mersac must have planned this very carefully for days and probably rehearsed the escape too. When the English ships had managed to get under way, ‘Danae’ was but a speck on the far horizon, and not even that by next morning. Every man on board was despondent, they had all believed in their luck after finding their quarry stranded in that port and had dreamt of the monies they would get after taking the richly laden French ship. All was lost now of course; they knew such an opportunity could only come once.  
Hadrian bore the brunt of his fellow officers’ anger and his admiral’s shouting because his ship had been the nearest to ‘Danae’ and his lookouts had not spotted any unusual activities on board the enemy. It was not entirely fair, none of them had been expecting this move, but he accepted the fault was mainly his. Deep down he couldn’t help being relieved though: the fight he had feared would never happen.  
\- You served me well, handsome captain.  
\- You should leave now, don’t take any risks, they must still be looking for you.  
\- I know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> early summer 1814 – London -

Anne-Laure alighted the carriage resting one hand on her husband’s, holding him tightly, not for fear of falling but rather in need of the reassurance his loving presence provided. They were going to enter the house of her aunt Lady Henrietta Kermor, recently deceased, a house which now belonged to Anne-Laure.   
Lady Henrietta was the elder sister of Anne-Laure’s mother, she had been an eccentric spinster, over-fond of cards; it was rumoured that she had won and lost fortunes at games tables, that she had even won an estate in Cornwall some years ago.   
Anne-Laure had lost the last person in the world who could talk to her about the mother she had only known for her first ten years. Up until her marriage in 1800 at the age of 20 she had seen little of her aunt because her father detested her. Lady Henrietta used to spend time in France with Anne-Laure while her mother was still alive, but this had stopped after her mother’s death in 1790. Although Lady Henrietta had helped her brother-in-law and his young daughter when they had first emigrated to England in 1792, she had never been received at his and his new wife’s house and Anne-Laure’s contacts with her aunt had been few and far until her wedding to Lord Alexander Durfield.  
Lady Henrietta had been invited to her niece’s high society marriage because Anne-Laure had insisted. Valentin de Courcelles, Duc de Térouanne had relented because despite of his dislike for Lady Henrietta, he knew it would have looked bad to have snubbed her. Lady Henrietta Kermor, who could trace her ancestors back to the first crusade was a lady who could not be ignored. Valentin had arrived from France penniless, like so many other French aristocrats, but had won the hand of the very rich widow of a merchant the following year. His new bride had also inherited a successful business from her father. The Duke now had all the money he needed to shine in the right circles but there was some reluctance to accept his wife because the new Duchess origins. It did not harm his standing to remind the Ton that Lady Henrietta was his late wife’s sister.   
Anne-Laure and Alexander had fallen in love at first sight and they made a beautiful couple, both tall and slender with fair hair and blue eyes. After the wedding Anne-Laure had taken time to visit the aunt she had not seen for so long, and Lady Henrietta had been only too glad to talk to her niece about the young sister she had adored but lost too soon.   
The only topic that the two women did not discuss was Anne-Laure’s father. Anne-Laure knew of the feud between her father and her aunt and she had warned Lady Henrietta that she would never hear ill-talk about him. She did not know the reason for the feud although she suspected it had something to do with her late mother, but her father had taken good care of her after her mother’s death and her step-mother, Anna, had always been very kind to her. Anna had given Valentin a son, Louis, born in 1796 and Anne-Laure was close to the young man. Henrietta who did not generally mince her words kept her peace in that instance and respected Anne-Laure’s wish.  
Alexander was a captain in the Royal navy when the couple married. He had started a naval career against his father, of whom he was the only heir, wishes. The sudden death of the earl in 1810 had made Alexander reluctantly abandon his command for taking care of the family estate and assume his duties as the new Lord Durfield. To have her husband by her side instead of constantly worrying about his welfare at sea had been a relief for Anne-Laure. She had tried not to show it too much, but Alexander was no fool. The marriage was blessed with one son, Maximilian born in 1803 and a daughter Angela in 1804.   
In February 1814, Lady Henrietta died after a brief illness. There were no surprises in the old lady’s will to the people who knew her; all her belongings which included a house in London were bequeathed to her niece Anne-Laure. There were some bequests made to servants and friends, nothing out of the ordinary. Anne-Laure herself had been surprised though.   
During their talks about Anne-Laure’s childhood in France, the two women often talked about Jean-Baptiste, Anne-Laure’s elder brother. He had been sent to college in 1790 after their mother’s death whereas their father had taken her with him to their Paris house. She had written to Jean-Baptiste for 2 years until her father had them fleeing to England after the revolution made it too dangerous for aristocrats to live in the country. She had missed her brother sorely, they had been close. Her father had told her that he was safe in college, that they had to leave quickly, and had no time to travel to Brest to collect him.   
Anne-Laure had learnt from her aunt that Jean-Baptiste had become a naval officer; it had not surprised her, she recalled Jean-Baptiste’s eagerness to learn all about boat handling, and navigation. It was all he ever talked about when they were growing up together at Térouanne, the family château in Normandy. He had been proud to learn how to use a sextant, read a chart and work out a ship’s position from an old ship’s master who lived in a village by the coast. Anne-Laure knew that her brother must have been particularly bright to be able to do these complicated calculations at such a young age. Alexander had told her that some midshipmen took years to acquire these skills. The friendship between Jean-Baptiste and the old sailor ended when the boy was sent to college by his father a few weeks before his twelfth birthday. Anne-Laure had never forgotten the distress in her brother’s green eyes when he had climbed into the carriage which took him from her.  
Jean-Baptiste had written to his aunt during the peace of Amiens giving some news of himself and promising a visit to England. Unfortunately the visit did not happen because the fragile peace had been broken and renewed war had again stopped correspondence between the 2 countries. Anne-Laure who had been overjoyed to learn that her beloved brother was alive now faced the anguish of knowing that her husband and her brother were both fighting at sea on opposite sides. At least Alexander’s retirement in 1810 had relieved her fear that the 2 of them would meet in combat.   
The reading of her aunt’s will had surprised her because no mention was made of her brother whatsoever. Lady Henrietta had written her will as if Jean-Baptiste had never existed. Furthermore, there was nothing in the documents deposited with the will at her solicitor’s which gave a clue as to where he was; Anne-Laure could not find her brother’s last letter to his aunt either. She could not imagine her aunt not keeping this letter preciously. She was resolved to have a thorough search of the house in the hope of finding something to help her out on her quest to find Jean-Baptiste or give her some clues to explain why Lady Henrietta had forsaken the nephew she claimed to love so much. She had read in Alexander’s eyes what his thoughts were on the matter and she refused to accept the most obvious explanation which was that Jean-Baptiste had died and that Henrietta had somehow known and hidden the fact to Anna-Laure.  
Anne-Laure had only little memories of the gloomy house where she had lived for one year after her father and herself had made their way to safety in London. Her aunt had sheltered them, but she had spent little time with them; Lady Henrietta slept at the house during most of the day while spending whole nights out, playing cards. Anne-Laure remembered a cold and unattractively decorated mansion with old fashioned, dark heavy furniture and tapestries that she had no desire to take to her own home. Most of the furniture had probably come over the years through inheritance from long dead relatives. Lady Henrietta had kept it and not replaced it with more fashionable items probably through lack of interest.   
Anne-Laure toured the house with Alexander and the children when one piece of furniture caught her attention. She remembered her aunt buying it in France one summer. Anne-Laure had loved it as a child and had played with it until her aunt had it shipped to her house in London: it was a small elegant bonheur du jour. Laure had spent hours playing pretending to be a grand lady sat there writing her letters and her aunt had promised to give it to her one day.   
Lady Henrietta had been a frequent visitor at Térouanne, the château in Normandy where Anne-Laure had lived until her 10th birthday. She remembered though how tense the atmosphere had been in the summer, when her parents were in residence at the same time than her aunt. They only came at Térouanne for 3 months every year, the rest of their time was spent at the court of Versailles.   
As the years went by Anne-Laure had forgotten about the bonheur-du-jour but now that the small desk was in front of her, her mind was flooded with happy memories of her childhood. It was of course a much smaller desk that she remembered but still as attractive as ever. Angela took to it immediately. The size was perfect for her and she begged her parents to have it transported to their home straight away. They agreed, and Angela was given the attractive desk for her bedroom. It was the only piece of furniture which was carried to their home.   
Anne-Laure had been disappointed with the visit, she had looked into her aunt’s study and through her books for any documents which could have helped her finding the whereabouts of her brother to no avail. The solicitor had warned her that the house did not contain any more documents, but she had had hopes nevertheless that something more personal had been left to help her understand why Jean-Baptiste had been so ruthlessly cut out of her will. Anne-Laure had the house closed for the time being, she did not have to decide what to do with it for now.  
As soon as they got home, Angela begged to be allowed to play with her desk. Her mother wanted it to be cleaned up properly before it was taken to her room, but Angela was so insistent that Anne-Laure agreed to a simple dusting for now and she let her daughter get familiar with it. Angela started pulling open the drawers, thinking of what she was going to store in them, playing at pretending to be a Lady like her mother had before her and asking her mother for paper and ink to start writing letters. Anne-Laure watched her with fond nostalgia remembering herself at the same age playing in the same way and it triggered something in her memory:   
“I wonder if you can find the secret drawer, Angie,” she said.   
The girl turned around excitedly: “really, Mama, there is a secret drawer? you know where it is?”  
Anne-Laure laughed, “of course, I remember it well, it’s not easy to find though,” and as she said it, she wondered, could her aunt had hidden something in there?  
She let the girl look for a while so as not to spoil her game, but Angela, who was not a patient child, got rapidly frustrated and turned to her mother for help. So, Anne-Laure opened the larger drawer and her fingers easily found the small device cleverly hidden that triggered the opening of a space under the main drawer.  
It was full of letters.  
Angela jumped with delight at the sight, her imagination ran wild, what secret had great aunty Henrietta hidden in there? Her mother did not give her time to find out, she took the letters out; they had been carefully folded back, and her aunt London address was on each one of them, there were dozens of them, tightly packed in the drawer. She unfolded one and looked at the date: 15th November 1777 and the signature: Charlotte. The young woman felt dizzy when she realised that she was holding the letters that her mother had written to her sister after her marriage to her father. She gently told Angela that she could not have the letters to read, it was grown up correspondence from the grandmama she never knew and that she would have to wait until she was herself grown up to have them. Angela accepted the explanation she was not really interested in those old letters anyway, all she cared for was that she had been given the lovely Bonheur du jour, her very first grown up piece of furniture and that it had a secret drawer.  
Anne-Laure took the letters away to her own room and started to unfold them up one by one putting them in chronological order, with the oldest one at the top. It was getting late and it was time for dinner, so she decided not to start reading until the next day when she could do it peacefully without any interruption. She told Alexander about her intentions and he marvelled at how his wife could keep such a cool head about the whole business. He knew that he himself would probably had spent the night reading those letters if they had been his. In truth it was very much what Anne-Laure wanted to do also, but she could not trust her emotions right now, she was going to have an insight into her mother’s feelings for the first time in her life and thought that she would be stronger after a night sleep to read her words.  
Her mother’s letters had been sent frequently at first, they were full of hope and joy as she had started her married life with the dashing Duc Valentin de Térouanne. They lived at the royal court in Versailles and her life was made of continuous feasts and balls lasting all night. She was in love with her husband and very happy when she had found out that she was expecting their first child. Their son, Jean-Baptiste was born on 16th of October 1778 and she wrote to Henrietta how overjoyed she was at that time. The letters became more and more spaced out soon after. There was sadness in them too. Charlotte told her sister that her husband had sent their son to be raised at Térouanne, at his estate on the Normandy coast. Charlotte was therefore living her life in Paris, far from her baby son, except for summers when the couple retired to the country.   
The young mother’s unhappiness transpired even more so in the letters when she revealed that Valentin resented their son very much. He suspected that his wife had been unfaithful to him and that the boy’s father was his hated half-brother, the Comte Pierre de Mersac.   
The baby boy had black hair and green eyes, like his uncle Pierre, Valentin’s half-brother. Pierre and Valentin’s mother, Amélie, had been blond and blue eyed and Valentin had concluded that Pierre’s looks were inherited from his late father, the Comte Pierre-Louis de Mersac. Valentin could not remember ever seeing a portrait of his mother’s first husband who had died young, but he knew that because like himself and his own father, Anatole, she was fair and blue eyed, Pierre must had got his looks from his dead father.   
Anne-Laure did not remember this uncle Pierre who had died when she was only 5 years old, his name had never been mentioned by either her father or her aunt.  
Charlotte explained all this to her sister in one of the longest letters she wrote. She told her that she had sworn to her husband on the bible that she had never known another man than Valentin and that Jean-Baptiste was his son without any possible doubt, but it did not change his attitude towards her, she also revealed that her husband was violent with her, especially in bed, and that she was desperately unhappy.  
After Charlotte gave birth to Anne-Laure on 2nd of August 1780, the baby was also removed far away to Térouanne. Charlotte had at least the consolation to see her husband show affection toward his pretty blond and blue-eyed daughter.  
Nevertheless, the letters that Anne-Laure read got sadder and sadder, as Charlotte mentioned her miscarriages and her husband’s violent anger at the reading of his half-brother Pierre’s will. Pierre had died after being shot in a duel and in his will, he left his lands, fortune and title to his nephew and godson, Jean-Baptiste. All his life, Valentin had been led to believe by his own father, Anatole, that because he was Pierre’s nearest relative he would inherit the rich Mersac estate if Pierre did not produce an heir. And now, to add to the humiliation, Valentin was not even chosen to look after his son’s future interests. He had no way of getting his hands on Mersac’s gold, not ever, because Pierre had put in a clause in the will that if Jean-Baptiste died before his 21st birthday, his estate would go to the Crown of France.   
Charlotte revealed to her sister that her husband was always short of money, in fact, he had only accepted that Pierre became a frequent visitor at Térouanne over the years, including during the summers when Valentin and Charlotte were in residence because he was heavily indebted to him. Indeed, Pierre had given him a rather large loan after a disastrous loss at cards a year after he had married Charlotte. Pierre had accepted to bail him out for the sake of Charlotte and because as he had also accepted to become the baby’s godfather; he had intended to fulfil his responsibilities.   
Valentin who had already spent his wife’s large dowry was supposed to pay his brother back quickly, but the years passed, and he did not do it, his lavish lifestyle taking all the money he received from his lands. According to Charlotte he also endured Henrietta’s visits for the same reasons: the lady was a spinster, she was rich and 15 years older than Charlotte who was Henrietta’s heiress. His resentment towards the boy had increased after the will: it had was comforted Valentin in his belief that Jean-Baptiste was not his son. It grew worse and worse until he committed an unforgiving act.  
After starting to read her mother’s letters Laure understood why her aunt and her father hated each other so much. Valentin must have known that Charlotte confided her secrets to Henrietta, and he could not forgive this. In one letter, Charlotte thanked her sister for spending so much of her time at Térouanne with her children while Valentin and herself were in Paris. She wished she could have stayed there at the same time but knew that her husband and her sister could not cohabit even in a house as large as Térouanne especially because Lady Henrietta did not hesitate to speak her mind.  
Anne-Laure’s feelings when she read the letter where her mother described how her father had raped young Jean-Baptiste, age 7, under her very eyes were impossible to describe.   
A cold hand squeezed her heart, she found breathing difficult and she vomited. At first, she felt that she could not keep on with her reading, afraid of what else she might discover. But, after long minutes spent coming to term with what could only be the truth she decided that she had to keep on reading, that if her aunt had kept the letters then there must have been only one reason for it: she had wanted Anne-Laure to find out what kind of man her father really was and what her dear mother went through.   
So, she carried on reading her mother’s words describing her terrible anguish. Ironically, if Pierre’s legacy did protect his young nephew’s future financially, his gift had also made the child’s life a misery because Valentin’s beliefs had been reinforced by the will. It helped strengthened his suspicions that his wife had been unfaithful, and that Pierre had been the child’s father. He could not disown the boy officially because it would wound his pride and the thought of being made fun of at Court was unbearable to him. Instead, his behaviour towards both his wife and son went from bad to worse until he committed the most despicable act possible.   
Charlotte described how her heart bled each summer when it was again time to go to the country for although she wanted to be reunited with her children, she also knew what ordeal it was for her son to have his father sleeping under the same roof for she knew that Valentin abused his son, visiting the boy in his bedroom at night. He even boasted to it to his wife. He maintained that the boy was not his son. He had the audacity to call it a compensation against the fact that his wife was not good to him in bed, she was cold and snivelling most of the time when he exerted his marital rights and furthermore she had cheated on him; she had sworn on the bible that she had always been faithful to her husband but he did not believe her.   
Charlotte’s letters were widely spaced now, shorter too, she described how her health was declining, she told her sister that she found it impossible to eat and begged her to take care of her children after her death.  
The last letter of the pack was dated 1804 and Anne-Laure did not recognize the writing. The sender was her brother whom she had last seen in 1790. That year, their father had arrived with their mother in a coffin. Charlotte had died in Paris, and he was bringing her to be buried in the family crypt at Térouanne. The children were given no time for mourning, Jean-Baptiste was to go to college in Brest, leaving immediately after the funeral, while he was closing down the house and taking Anne-Laure with him to Paris. Anne-Laure did remember their parting, they had been close, and both were crying in each other arms. They both promised to write, a promise they kept until Valentin left France for England with his daughter 2 years later.  
At long last, Anne-Laure was reading her brother’s long lost letter. It was a joyful letter, he had just landed in Brest after his successful cruise and was overjoyed because of the peace of Amiens. He was full of hope that he could soon be travelling to England to visit her and Anne-Laure. He had so much to tell them, but he preferred not to put it down in writing, they would see each other again soon and he promised to tell them his news and adventures when he got to London.  
Now Anne-Laure’s tears were falling down again because of course the peace of Amiens had broken abruptly just days after the letter had been sent, her brother had never made it to England and her aunt had now passed away without ever seeing him again. She had not even seen the end of the long war between England and France which had ended only one month after her death.   
Anne-Laure did not have the answer she had been seeking on her brother’s whereabouts, but the cold hand squeezing her heart told her that he was probably dead which would explain why her aunt had not included him in her will. Of course, it would mean that aunty Henrietta had somehow found out. Anne-Laure sighed deeply again, so many mysteries, so many unsaid words so much pain. She could not stop the flow of her tears, she cried for her lovely unhappy mother, for aunt Henrietta, for her handsome loving lost brother.  
Alexander had left his wife alone in her drawing room to read her letters. He had given instructions that she was not to be disturbed and he himself chose to keep away and wait until she had finished her reading and come out to find him. As time passed and Anne-Laure was still not coming out of the room he started to seriously worry. He knew there were many letters, but he had glanced at the pile on the desk and some of them were quite short. To him it should not have taken all morning to go through them. It was now past lunch-time and she still had not reappeared. Alexander decided to intervene. He opened the door and entered the room.   
His wife was sitting down in her chair, the letters in front of her on the desk save for one which had fallen onto the floor. She was facing the window and silent tears were running down her cheeks. He saw signs that she had been sick some time ago, obviously she had not bothered to call a servant to have the mess cleaned up.   
Alarmed, Alexander rushed to his beloved and took her into his arms. The silent tears became uncontrolled sobs. They remained locked in each other’s arms until she finally calmed down, looked into his eyes and simply uttered:   
‘Thank you for loving me, I am such a lucky woman and I love you so much.’   
He didn’t answer, his throat tight with emotion, he only hugged her tighter.   
‘Tell me when you are ready, I can share anything.’   
‘I know,’ she answered, ‘and I will, but not now, I must put myself together first.’  
She told him that same night while lying comfortably in his arms. He offered his love, shared her pain and she finally fell asleep, thanking God that she had fallen for a good man unlike her poor mother.  
Next morning her thoughts drifted back to her brother and to the lack of information concerning him. Alexander could understand her frustration. He suggested a trip to Paris now that the war was over. If Jean-Baptiste had been a naval officer as Lady Henrietta had said, then they would get information at the Ministère de la marine.   
She remembered her past attempt to talk to her father about her brother, each time he had got extremely angry when she did: her brother was a traitor, he had been thrown out of college and had betrayed both his king and his family by fighting for the usurper, she was never to utter his name again in his presence. Now of course in view of what she knew about her father’s despicable behaviour she understood why he did all he could to prevent her from finding her brother and talk to him. She now doubted that what she was told about Jean-Baptiste was true. Her father had probably lied or disguised the truth and she determined to find out for herself, so she agreed to Alexander’s suggestion that they should go to Paris unless he discovered records at the Admiralty that his brother-in-law had been taken prisoner during the conflict: his greatest fear would to find that Jean-Baptiste de Courcelles had died in one of England’s infamous prison hulks.


	4. 1814 – August – FRANCE -

Valentin de Courcelles, duke of Térouanne had left for France immediately after the return of his rightful King after his exile. Before the revolution, Valentin had, at the court in Versailles, moved in the circle of the then Comte de Provence who was now king. He had therefore been eager to join Louis XVIII’s court without any delay hoping to claim back his properties lost during the revolution.   
Anne-Laure had read her brother’s letter again carefully in preparation for her journey, he did mention to his aunt that she could write to him care of his solicitor in Paris. He did not name the man, so Anne-Laure assumed that her aunt knew who he meant. She remembered seeing several notaries indicated in her aunt’s address book. She had read every entry in the book hoping to find her brother’s address there.  
Alexander had found no trace of Jean-Baptiste in the Admiralty’s records so they decided to leave for France as soon as possible and visit the solicitors on Henrietta’s book and the Ministère de la marine in their quest for Jean-Baptiste.  
Maximilian and Angela were travelling abroad for the first time. They had never known a time when England and France were at peace and they were very excited at discovering their mother’s country. Anne-Laure’s memories of France were not all nostalgic. Although she remembered fondly her happy childhood at Térouanne, she mostly remembered the 2 uncertain years spent in their Paris house with her father; years she spent mostly locked inside the house with her father anxious for their safety. She also remembered the flight abroad in the winter when her father had realised after the bloody riots of September 1792 and the impending trial of the king, that France had become too dangerous for aristocrats like him. They had travelled in an uncomfortable coach to Calais and experienced an awful crossing to England in January 1793, just before war was declared between France and England. They did not carry much with them and she wondered what would have happened if Aunt Henrietta had not given them shelter in her London house. Anne-Laure had sensed her aunt’s coldness towards her father, she also overheard her tell him that she was only opening her door to them because she could not leave her sister’s child homeless. Anne-Laure had not understood her aunt’s dislike of her father at the time. It was all too clear now.  
The current journey was made in a comfortable coach, the crossing was pleasant and they stopped at the best inns on the way, welcomed by most innkeepers happy to see rich foreign travellers back in France. In Paris they settled in the best hotel they could find and started their quest for their missing relative.   
They started with a visit to the Ministère de la marine situated in the newly renamed Place Louis XVI. Anne-Laure had been to the large square when she had lived in Paris. Her father’s private hotel was nearby. The square had been one of the last sights she had seen before they left Paris for England. She thought it strange that she would start her visit at this very same spot 22 years later. She knew that the awful guillotine had stood there permanently from 1793 at the time of the revolution. Thankfully Laure had no longer been in Paris by that time, the deadly machine had been Place du Carrousel and her father had made sure that she never saw it.  
The Ministère was in chaos, newly returned royalist naval officers and Bonapartist officers meeting in the rooms and corridors and obviously disliking each other, so strange an atmosphere thought Alexander, France had lost the war but at the difference with other wars this one meant that the rulers had gone with the defeat and had been replaced by new rulers who had been siding with the enemy, these men were not foreign invaders, they were French, and many wanted vengeance for their murdered relatives, their confiscated properties and their lost privileges.  
Alexander and Anne-Laure managed to get the attention of a clerk who looked at long lists of naval officers going back to 1790 but did not find any trace of a Jean-Baptiste de Courcelles or de Térouanne enrolled at all. Anne-Laure was dispirited, she had believed she’d get an answer this day, she had prepared herself to hear that her brother had died but not that he had left no trace at the Ministère.  
The next day they started visiting the notaries. There were 3 addresses noted on Henrietta’s book. The first man had been guillotined in 1794 and his successor could not help them, he did not remember either the names of Courcelles or Térouanne nor dealing with an English lady and besides documents had been burnt by the mob when the notary had been arrested. That visit did not help Anne-Laure’s already low spirits, Alexander insisted that they tried another one immediately.  
Maître Dubois was immediately called by his assistant when Anne-Laure mentioned her maiden name. Both her and Alexander reckoned that it was a good sign. Sure enough, an elderly man appeared and led them to a private office where they were invited to sit down. Maître Dubois was delighted to meet Anne-Laure, he explained that he had made enquiries to find her ever since the end of the war. He had written to her aunt’s solicitors in London but had not expected her to turn up at his notary. He was pleased to inform her that her late uncle bequeathed her a considerable sum of money in his will, to be paid on her 18th birthday but, of course because of the war he had not been able comply with his client’s wishes. It was quite a surprise for Anne-Laure, who had listened to Maître Dubois’s words without interrupting, to find that she had also been the object of a search. She explained to him that her visit was coincidental and that she was seeking news of her brother’s whereabouts.  
Maître Dubois told her that as their uncle’s will executor he had looked after young Jean-Baptiste’s inheritance after their uncle’s death until the young man came of age. Yes, Jean-Baptiste was alive, he kept contact with him, looking after his French properties in his absence. Her brother, he told her, had a successful career in the navy but was now retired and had requested that his place of residence be kept a secret to all.   
Anne-Laure listened to Maître Dubois speech with relief but also with surprise at the news he gave her:  
‘This uncle I didn’t remember until I read my mother’s letters seemed to have had a great importance in my brother’s life, please tell me more about him,’ asked Anne-Laure.  
‘He was your father’s half-brother, 10 years older than him, born from your grandmama Amélie’s first marriage. He died when you were very young, 4 or 5 I think,’ replied the elderly man, ‘he was a hand full, he got himself in numerous fights at college, got expelled and was finally sent to Rochefort to become a garde-marine; unfortunately, his hot-headed temperament did not abate over the years; he fought in duels, although forbidden, and had a few narrow escapes from the law. Pierre had been quite happy to leave the management of his estate to Anatole and Amélie, your grandparents, because he preferred his life at sea rather than looking after his lands, but after his mother’s death, his step-father told him that he had only supervised the Mersac estate for Amélie’s sake and that he now had to face his own responsibilities. Pierre found that he therefore had no other option but to quit the navy unless he wanted to leave his estate entirely in the hands of his steward. It changed his life for ever, forcing him to abandon a career he loved. It increased the underlying resentment toward his step-father and resulted in Pierre cutting the few remaining ties he had with him and with his young half-brother. When your brother was born, he changed however, he loved him immediately, I think he would have liked to have a son like him which is why he left his fortune and his title to Jean-Baptiste instead of to his own half-brother, your father. There had always been bad feelings between the brothers, but it got worse after Jean-Baptiste was born for a reason I do not know. My client was concerned that the boy could be spoilt of the bequest made in his favour. So, I was given the task to manage your brother’s fortune until he came of age. His college fees were paid by my office. He wrote to me to tell me he was joining the navy after he left college and he always kept contact afterwards. Your aunt Henrietta knew of the arrangement and she sent letters to her nephew through my office. If you wish to contact your brother, I will forward your correspondence to him also.’  
‘You said that he became a naval officer and yet the Ministère de la marine has no records of him in its books, do you have an explanation for this?’ Asked Alexander.  
Maître Dubois was visibly bothered by the question, he sighed and then revealed that Jean-Baptiste had taken his uncle’s name when he joined the navy:  
‘It was his right to use it after all because he had inherited the title after your uncle’s death,’ after a slight hesitation Maître Dubois added: ‘Your brother was the rightful Comte de Mersac.’   
’Mersac!?’ Exclaimed Alexander, ‘as in Rear-Admiral Mersac? Surely not!’   
Anne-Laure caught her breath in horror. Of course, she had heard the name during the war, Mersac’s successes against the English navy had been played down by the English newspapers but she knew from Alexander that it caused much anger and frustration at the Admiralty. After the war, the newspapers had vilified the French officer. In England as much as in France, unsavoury stories were reported by officers who had sailed with him and told of his debauchery, of how he had become an officer by sleeping with his captain, and with tales of orgies on board his ship and worse of all of the rape of an English lady who had been his prisoner.   
Against all her hopes Maître Dubois nodded. Yes, Jean-Baptiste was Rear-Admiral Yannick Mersac. She understood why he was hiding, probably too ashamed to show his face. She was devastated. She forced herself to thank the elderly solicitor, she left her address for the inheritance to be paid to her and she instructed the solicitor that her address was never to be given to her brother, then she got up and asked Alexander to take her back to their hotel.  
Maître Dubois watched them leave with a heavy heart. He wished he could have said something to entice her to write to her brother, but the words failed him. He had given an oath to his client. He would have liked to tell her that earlier this month, her brother had sat in this very chair she was sitting in and had asked him to sell his Paris house on his behalf. The money would be transferred to England via a banker’s draft sent to Lady Henrietta’s solicitor in London. This man could be trusted to say nothing about his client’s whereabouts. Maître Dubois knew that he had been true to his words because he had said nothing to Anne-Laure after Lady Henrietta’s death. Jean-Baptiste de Courcelles, Comte de Mersac was now to be known as Ian Kermor, and letters addressed to him would reach him through the London solicitor from now. Although Maître Dubois knew that his client was going to live in England he did not know where. Mersac had received a heavily sealed package after the war from Lady Henrietta’s London solicitor and Maître Dubois suspected that although he did not know the content of this package he knew that it had persuaded his client to leave France after the slanderous newspapers articles about him had been published.   
Laure did not speak on the way back and Alexander respected her silence. When they returned, they found the children eager to go out to the park and make the most of a beautiful day. Their incessant chatter was welcomed by Alexander who was not sure he could put up with his wife’s silence much longer without interfering and talking about the information revealed to them. He wanted to give Anne-Laure more time to think on what to do next and understood her mixed feelings after the revelation, but her continued silence was starting to worry him, he wished she would choose to talk to him and asked his opinion.   
After dinner and once the children had been sent to bed Anne-Laure decided at last to talk to her husband.   
‘I am not going to write to him. I have thought long and hard about it, I understand that he must have suffered a great deal by our father’s hands, but I don’t think I can face a man who has raped a woman. You probably remember that I am acquainted with Lady Alexis Alconbury and I remember how much she has changed since she came back from India with her husband in the spring. She is a much sadder and withdrawn woman than before her trip. Of course, it made sense when the rumour that she had been raped by Mersac was known. She is a sweet lady and I cannot for the life of me renew ties with my brother knowing what he did to her.’  
Whereas Alexander was aware that most newssheet articles contained propaganda and lies, but he too knew Lady Alconbury and the way she now behaved led him to believe that the story about his brother-in-law’s revolting action rang true. He nevertheless attempted to plead with his wife that she should hear what he had to say before making her final decision, but she remained adamant that she did not want to and did not want the conversation to be reopened either at any time. Her stubbornness saddened him; nevertheless he told her that he would stand by her decision.  
Next day while continuing their visit of Paris with the children, they met a friend of theirs who had also chosen to visit France to see for himself how the country had been changed after the revolution and the empire. He asked them in which hotel they were staying at and promised to keep in touch. Anne-Laure had a bad feeling about it. She knew that her father and his family were in Paris. She had not told him of their own travel plans to the French capital and she was now worried that he would find out. She did not feel ready to see him again after what she had discovered about him.   
Sure enough, though, next morning, Valentin presented himself at their hotel with his wife, Anna and their 18-year-old son Louis. Valentin did not seem to notice his daughter’s coldness towards him, he was happy with the news he had just received that his Térouanne estate had been given back to him by the king. The estate had not been sold during the republic nor during the empire and therefore there were no reason to refuse the Duke’s claim for his property. He told Anne-Laure that they were travelling to Térouanne later that week and he wanted his daughter and her family to accompany them. She was about to refuse but Angela and Maximilian showed an immediate enthusiasm at the idea of visiting their mother’s childhood home, so she reluctantly agreed. She was worried because her mother was buried in the crypt at Térouanne and she had heard terrible stories of tombs being desecrated by the mob during the revolution. She was not at all sure that she could cope with that.  
One week later, the 2 carriages turned into the drive leading to the front of the château of Térouanne. The park was overgrown, the pools were dirty, their fountains silent and the statues either broken or covered by moss unless they had disappeared all-together. Anne-Laure held Alexander’s hand so tight it hurt him as they followed her father who was already turning the key in the front door. She remembered when he had locked that very same door years ago and taken the keys with him to England. She was most surprised that the door had not been broken down by intruders, could it be that the house had been spared after all?   
Well, it was immediately apparent that it had not been spared. Rooms after rooms downstairs were desperately empty. Furniture was gone, curtains, pictures had all been taken down and carried away. Térouanne was just an empty shell now. Valentin was furious, he walked from room to room, ranting and shouting insults at long gone thieves.  
Angela told her mother she’d like to see her old childhood room and Anne-Laure was only too pleased to escape her father and take the children upstairs. Alexander followed them also. Her room was also empty of furniture, wall cupboards were broken, no toys, no books, nothing was left to remind her of the good time she’d had there playing with her dolls and listening to her brother reading her stories, both sitting down on the thick carpet among cushions. Tears welled in her eyes and she left the room abruptly, this was getting too much for her. Further up the corridor, Maximilian and Angela kept opening doors, hoping to find something that escaped the rampage. Anne-Laure and Alexander followed them, hardly pausing to look. She pointed her mother’s rooms to him, then her father’s. Further up the corridor Maximilian stopped on a threshold and gasped:   
‘This one is much worse,’ he said, ’whose was it, mama?’  
‘My brother’s,’ she replied, and she entered the room after a slight hesitation. It was much worse indeed. The room was empty like the others, but it was the only one that had been badly vandalized. Every pane of glass on the window had been broken, the shutters had been pulled out and broken so rain had got in and spoilt the wooden floor which had started to rot, the wall paper had been slashed, long strips of it hanging from the walls. Not one wall had been spared. The doors of the cupboards had been torn; the shelves hacked. Anne-Laure did not doubt for one minute that it was her brother’s doing. She could picture him with a sabre slashing angrily at the walls, destroying a room in which he had been repeatedly abused for years.   
She turned around and ran out downstairs, she could no longer remain inside this godforsaken place.   
As she came out of the house, she saw her father talking heatedly with a man who looked like a farmhand or such. Anna approached her:  
‘My dear, I’m afraid there are some disturbing news for you; you see Valentin took me to the crypt to see where his ancestors are buried and discovered that your mama’s coffin has disappeared. He is very upset of course. He is trying to find out more from this man who remained on the estate.’  
Anne-Laure approached the 2 men, fearful that her worst nightmares had actually happened:   
‘Have the tombs been desecrated?’ She asked.  
‘Oh no, madam, not at all, as I was explaining to Monsieur le Duc, his late wife’s remains were moved to another resting place. Her grave is now facing the sea, at the place where she used to enjoy sitting on a bench in the rose garden. The Admiral ordered it and he is paying me to look after the grave.’  
Of course, Anne-Laure knew where he meant and without a single look toward her father she fast-walked to the side and back of the house and up a small rise toward what appeared to be a well-kept rose garden. She walked under the odorant arches of a pergola covered in climbing roses up to the top where she could see a small antique style temple that did not exist in her childhood. The pergola led up to the exquisitely made white marble rotunda facing the sea. The rotunda was open and made of 6 marble columns topped by a dome. The floor was also made of marble and in the middle of the rotunda a column supported a bust, facing the sea. Anne-Laure contemplated with emotion the beautiful serene face of her mother that a very skilful artist had sculptured; she had only been 10 years old when her mother had passed away and but she could remember her face well. She had a portrait painted in her youth given to her by aunt Henrietta, and the bust was true to the portrait. She came out of the temple at the front facing the sea. There were 2 marble benches one on each side of the temple, and surrounded by rose bushes. One of the benches had been her mother’s favourite place, where she used to come and read or dream. The other one was new, a perfect match to the old one. The place was lovely, peaceful, and the young woman did not doubt for a second that this was exactly where her mother would herself have chosen to rest.   
Anne-Laure did not get any peaceful time by her mother’s grave though, she had been followed and everyone arrived after her, her father’s face was still red and angry.   
‘I will not put up with this,’ he shouted, ‘she belongs in the crypt and nowhere else.’  
‘You will not move her,’ cut his daughter coldly, ‘if you do I swear you will never see me or your grandchildren ever again and if that doesn’t stop you, know that I have the means to ruin you for ever in the eyes of society and will not hesitate to do so.’  
Valentin looked into his daughter’s eyes with shock, he saw cold determination in them, and he understood that she would put her menace to execution. He did not know exactly what means she had but thought that just in case he had better leave things as they were. After all who cared where the unfaithful bitch was buried?  
‘Fine, I will leave her here. After all, I will be buried in the crypt and I want Anna by my side and not your mother.’   
And with those words he turned around and made his way back down to the house, dragging Anna and Louis with him.  
‘She was beautiful,’ murmured Alexander who sat down next to his wife, holding her hand, ‘and you are so like her. She would be proud of you, defending her rights for peace in her last resting place so strongly.’  
‘They were so close, Jean-Baptiste and her, I am ashamed to say that I was a little bit jealous. But then I couldn’t possibly know what terrible secret they shared. This tomb is so beautiful, I wish I could thank him for doing this for her, but I can’t get passed the other stories I heard about him. I keep thinking of poor Alexis, I could never face him knowing what I do.’  
‘Give yourself some time, maybe in the future you will want to hear his explanations on his behaviour.’  
‘No, I rather not. Let’s not talk about it anymore please and let’s return to England soon, I’ve had enough of this place.’  
Alexander decided to say no more. His wife stubbornness disturbed him though, he would have like to share his thoughts about her brother with her because he was intrigued. In his mind rapists were ruthless men who despised women and had no respect for them and what he learnt about his brother-in-law’s relationships with women so far did not fit the bill. Jean-Baptiste had been very close to his mother, the tomb he had built for her was a proof of his love for her. He had also loved his sister and his aunt, there again his letter to his aunt left no doubt as to his feelings for them. Had he not also witnessed his father’s violence towards his mother and had himself been raped by him. So how could this kind of man have changed so drastically to lower himself down to rape a woman? Furthermore, Alexander knew that popular newspapers were not reliable; nationalistic views were expressed and he suspected that some could enjoy themselves blackening the reputation of an officer who had very successfully escaped England’s all-powerful navy in India for 8 years and even managed to make it back to France despite the tight blockade of its coasts by English ships.  
And, if he was totally honest with himself, Alexander was also frustrated because he would dearly love to meet Mersac, conversation with him would be certainly far more interesting than the ones he had to suffer with the other lords or such he was obliged to meet and be civil to in London.  
They returned to their carriages, Valentin, Anna and Louis were staying in the area because Valentin had business to conduct, reasserting his rights over his estate. Anne-Laure and her family were on their way back to Paris first and then to England. So, they said their goodbyes. Valentin noticed that his daughter was still as cold with him as ever and he chose to speak to his grandchildren instead. Louis took the opportunity of seeing his father not paying attention to him to say quietly to Alexander:  
‘I asked Papa which Admiral the keeper meant, and he got very angry with me. Do you know anything?’  
Alexander did not think that he owed any loyalty to his father-in-law whatsoever, so he answered truthfully. To his mind there had been too many ugly secrets in this family already and Louis who was a decent young man deserved the truth:  
‘He meant Rear-Admiral Mersac, he is Anne-Laure’s elder brother and therefore your half-brother. I understand that the estate was given to him by Napoléon before King Louis gave it back to your father. It’s better if you don’t question your sister about him, she has only just found out recently who her brother’s identity was and it’s difficult for her to accept it. One other word of warning, your father hates him so it’s up to you if you tell him or not that you know.’  
Louis let out a breath: ‘Ghosh, I did not know there were skeletons in our cupboards, how exiting! I don’t think I will mention him in the foreseeable future,’ he said with a wicked smile, ‘thank you Uncle, very much, and don’t worry, I will not mention him to Laurie either.’  
Alexander smiled, at least Louis did not seem unduly worried about discovering who his half-brother was. He wished Laure changed her mind though.  
Alexander, Anne-Laure and the children returned to London within days. The trip had not been the success they had hoped it would be but at least quite a few mysteries had been cleared up.   
Valentin, Anna and Louis remained in Térouanne for a few more days. Valentin had people in the house to calculate how much repairs were going to cost. He wondered if it was worth the expense for the sake of living there just a few weeks during the year. He had always liked the Paris mansion better anyway. The alternative was to close the house and leave the decision on its future to Louis when he inherited. Soon after Louis’s birth, Valentin had written his will leaving his properties and title to his younger son. Jean-Baptiste, whom he only ever thought of as ‘the bastard’ would have nothing of his whatsoever.  
Valentin never dwelt on the past for very long. He never felt any regrets for the pain and anguish he put the boy through over the years. Louis was his only true son. He was immensely proud of the young man who was due to start studying at Oxford University this autumn. He would have preferred that the family settled in France now that the war was over, Anna did not, she liked London where she had her friends and her business. She did not run the business herself but liked to keep an interest and received her managers regularly. Valentin did not like it, but he liked the money it brought. Although Louis was interested by his French background, he had no desire to live there either so after a few more days spent in Térouanne with nothing much to do, the family returned first to Paris and then back to London.  
Valentin had not been too worried by Anne-Laure’s warnings before she left Térouanne. He had no idea what she could have against him, in fact he thought her a very ungrateful daughter indeed. Had he not looked after her on his own during those dreadful years of hardship after Charlotte’s death and up to his marriage to Anna. And Anna herself had been a good step-mother to her. He really had no idea what turned her cold towards him. He was sure she couldn’t have known what had happened between him and her brother, the only one who knew for sure, Charlotte, was long dead and so was her witch of a sister, who could have known also. But Henrietta had died months ago, and Anne-Laure’s coldness was recent. Valentin felt no guilt, why the child should not have interfered between him and his wife in the first place; he had been drinking heavily and had wanted sex with his wife, but the bitch had resisted. He had been painfully aroused and the boy was so beautiful, taunting him with his brilliant emerald green eyes. Valentin had never felt desire for a child before but that day he had not been able to control himself. What had taken him by surprise was that he had enjoyed it, so much so that he had continued to abuse the boy even when sober, without remorse, every summer when he was at Térouanne. Thank god, he had never felt any such desire for Anne-Laure or Louis, or any other children. He told himself that using the boy was compensation for his own suffering caused by his wife’s unfaithfulness. The bitch had never admitted to the affair, he was still furious when he thought of it.   
He was still angry with her now, but he would not bother disturbing her last resting place, especially as he found out that Jean-Baptiste was continuing to pay for the tomb’s upkeep and the rose garden through his solicitor even thought Térouanne was no longer his and never would be. Valentin had seen to it that his second son, Louis, would inherit his lands and title. It was ironic though that it was the revolution, so hated by Valentin, which had allowed him, when it abolished the birth right law, to deprive Jean-Baptiste of his rights as first born to the dukedom’s s title and estate.


	5. England August 1814

After yet another very long day Jonathan was going home at last. It was early August and he had been helping with harvests on the three farms that the estate possessed. He expected to be greeted by his father’s usual questions as to where he had been and what he had done all day staying out enjoying himself with his friends instead of looking after his poor old father who sacrificed all to him, no doubt. His mother would say nothing, but Jonathan would see in her eyes how much she felt for him and how grateful she was for her son who never answered the old man ranting, never got angry hearing these unfair reproaches day in and day out.   
For Jonathan was the best son any man could have wished to have because ever since John Pointer, steward of Rosemarkie’s estate had lost his mind 3 years ago, his son Jonathan, aged only 20 at the time, had taken over all his father‘s duties and had successfully managed the estate without the legal representative of the owner knowledge. The accounts had been sent as usual for the Solicitor to examine and as nothing was amiss, and the money was going into the bank as regularly as it had always been, the switch from father to son had not been noticed. The workers and the villagers knew of course but no one said anything, as better the devil you know is it not? The Solicitor might have appointed someone else who could have meant trouble for many in the village, for they all knew that the copper mine was only just paying itself and that a more ruthless man could choose to close it down rather than bother with it. The copper mine gave employment to many in the village who could not otherwise make a living.   
But tonight, if Jonathan was uneasy, it was not because of his father, but because as he walked along the path which was a short cut to the small harbour village of Porthdowns through the overgrown gardens of Rosemarkie Manor overlooking towards the sea, he had seen lights in the large bow window of the second floor of the square tower. The house had been closed for nearly 10 years and should be just a looming dark mass at this late hour.   
Only Tamsin and Simon were at the manor now; they had lived and worked there all their lives and after the manor change of ownership the solicitor had thought It better to keep them on rather than closing the house totally. The lady who had won the estate at cards had told him that her nephew, who was travelling abroad, could turn up at any time to see his property so the solicitor thought that the man might appreciate a house with a little life in it.   
After her spectacular win, Lady Henrietta Kermor had the deeds of the estate drawn up under the name of her nephew, and as no one had seen the man since, most people on the estate had become accustomed to the fact that Jonathan, after his father, would manage it for ever, that Tamsin and Simon would continue to live there as guardians of the rambling manor. They lived in the kitchen downstairs, even sleeping there, not bothering to go up in the old servants’ bedrooms under the eaves. Furthermore, the roof had developed several leaks and most bedrooms showed damp patches on their ceilings. They kept the kitchen and the master’s bedroom clean and aired, as per instructions, they had a well-stocked small vegetable garden, they kept some poultry, rabbits, a goat and a pig. They were content with their lives, the work was not difficult, they never grew hungry and they were warm in winter. After all these years they had convinced themselves that the owner would never turn up, happy to remain in whichever country he had established himself.  
No one knew anything about this mysterious owner, no one had never met him, not even the solicitor. The house and estate had belonged to an aristocratic family for centuries until their last dissolute offspring had finally lost both estate and house at cards to Lady Henrietta Kermor. Most of the content of the house had already been sold to pay gambling debts so Lady Henrietta won a near empty house in a poor state of repair, village cottages, farm buildings, lands and a copper mine. The tenants had expected the Lady to sell the estate, but she did not. She had the deeds entered in the name of her nephew and left the management of the estate in the hands of the solicitor who had always looked after it with recommendation that nothing was to be changed and that the steward who looked after the estate and the manor continued to do so until her nephew saw fit to do otherwise.  
Lady Henrietta never even bothered to visit. Jonathan’s father, steward of the estate, had done as he was told. What little money he got from the tenancies he used to pay for the immediate needs of the estate which included some repairs to the village cottages, the vicar’s stipend, the maintenance of Porthdowns small harbour quays. There was never any money left for the manor house. The copper mine was breaking even but made no money, at least it provided employment in an area where it was sorely needed. This state of affairs suited everyone on the estate. Even mines which made a little profit were closing down around them, times were hard, and they counted themselves lucky for the status quo, hoping that it would last.  
Jonathan also hoped that it was going to last. He was trying to put some money aside to marry his sweetheart and leave the family cottage. He knew of course which cottage he’d like to live in only he never found time to get on with the work that needed doing on the place. He was also worried because at the back of his mind, there was always the threat that the estate owner could turn him out.  
So, next morning, after an uneasy night, Jonathan decided to call on Tamsin and Simon to put his mind at rest. He walked up from the family cottage in the village, through the overgrown gardens as he had done on the previous evening. He always walked this way up the gentle path partly because it was the easiest and most pleasant way to the manor from the village. It had a beautiful view of the small harbour peacefully nestled in the bay and he could also admire the coast far out to the east where the sea broke its waves on the rocks below. The path wound its way up, from terraces to terraces sometimes with long but shallow steps, sometimes with steeper ones and sometimes just gently rising through the overgrowth and the rose bushes all the way to the last level, a large stone terrace in front of the old manor house garden entrance.   
The house was stone built; wings had been added over the years creating a jumble of disparate buildings built near a high probably medieval tower standing guard separately further at the back. The original house, facing the sea on the garden side, was three storey high with a crenelated roof, the door was directly level with a large wide terrace. On the left of the main building a square tower also had 3 storey and again a crenelated roof. On the right of the house another wing had been added at a later period, hiding most of the medieval tower at the back. The new wing was topped with a roof without crenels this time. Large bay windows graced old and new parts of the manor, and Jonathan noticed that the shutters had been removed downstairs and that some of the windows were open. The square tower also had large bay windows and it was precisely its second floor window that had displayed the lights Jonathan had seen on the previous evening. He knew that this was the master’s bedroom and that Tamsin kept this room aired and clean in case the new owner turned up unexpectedly. This window was wide open this morning.  
As he walked up the last of the steps to the final terrace, he was hoping that Tamsin or Simon, probably in the kitchen, had a perfectly simple explanation for him. He could not help the knot in his stomach though. A pretty girl, aged about 9 or ten, suddenly appeared from around the back of the building, carrying a basket and some scissors. She had long dark brown hair flowing freely on her shoulders and beautiful unusual green eyes:  
‘Good Morning,’ she said cheerfully, ‘I am Charley, do you work here?’  
‘Good morning, miss, yes, I work on the estate,’ he replied carefully, ‘are you visiting?’  
‘Oh no, I am living here now, my father owns this place apparently,’ she said, smiling, ‘Papa is inside in his study if you wish to see him, I am on my way to cut some roses to make this house a little less dreary,’ she added, and she made her way down the steps towards the multi-coloured overgrown rose bushes.  
Jonathan took a deep breath and entered the kitchen door on the other side of the manor. Well at least one question had just been answered. The room was empty, Tamsin and Simon must be busy in some other parts of the house. He knew his way, he was soon through to the large reception hall from which the steward’s study was directly accessed. He had been working there several times a week for the last 3 years on the estate’s books, entering the figures of profits and costs before submitting them twice a year to the Solicitor in Falmouth. He met Simon in the hall, who confirmed that Mr Kermor was in the steward’s study. The study door was closed, Jonathan took another deep breath and knocked.   
‘Come in,’ and Jonathan entered. A man in his mid-thirties sat in front of the very old large bureau covered with open books that Jonathan recognized as the estate accounts books. The man got up and extended his hand to the young man:  
‘Good morning, I am Ian Kermor, the estate owner, to whom do I owe this first visit?’   
‘Jonathan Pointer, Sir,’ replied Jonathan, bowing, he waited to see if the name meant something to Ian Kermor before he started to explain.  
‘Pointer, like the estate steward, but you look a little young to be him, aren’t you?’  
‘Yes sir, I am his son,’ he hesitated, then, ‘my father is unwell, he has not been able to run the estate business for a while.’  
‘And how long is a while? The solicitor did not mention this to me yesterday when I called at his cabinet.’  
‘The solicitor does not know, sir, the truth is that I have been running the estate for the last 3 years because of my father’s ill health,’ answered Jonathan.  
He was looking straight in Kermor’s eyes while he answered. Jonathan was an honest, hardworking young man and the only thing he felt guilty about was that he had not reported his father’s illness to the solicitor; he had worked long and hard for the estate since taking over. He had his reasons for not informing the solicitor and he had no regrets.  
‘You better sit down, then, we have to talk about this, how old are you?’ Asked Kermor.  
‘23, sir.’  
‘Let me get this right, you are telling me that since you are 20 years of age you manage this estate, you keep the books and the solicitor has approved the accounts all this time without noticing the change? Did he not visit the estate himself? Did you enter these figures?’ Kermor turned one of the books around and pointed it to Jonathan.  
‘I did, sir, yes, my father was losing his mind; at first I just helped him and by the time he could not manage any longer I was able to take over completely. I did not report this to the solicitor because I was not sure he would keep me on, and our family needed his position to live. My father has served the estate all his life and his father before him, I was always around to help.’  
‘A wage and a cottage I presume,’ nodded Ian Kermor drily, ‘do you live with your father?’  
‘Yes Sir, my father, mother and younger sister.’  
He did not add that they depended on his wage to live. His sister worked at the posting house on the top road and was saving her wage to marry the curate; Jonathan could not ask her for help; their mother had to stop work after their father’s health deteriorated, these days she seemed to spend most of her time running around to find him. Jonathan was a proud young man and he did not want to be pitied. The reality though was that times were hard; the estate was not rich. The copper mine only paid for its expenses, no profit. The estate had 3 farms and the village cottages were tied to the estate as well as a public house and a posting house on the top road. The tenants paid rents, but most buildings were in need of repairs and the charge fell to the manor. Many men were out of work or just scraped a living hiring themselves out in the fields. The regular income provided as steward of the estate had not been generous but at least it had kept Jonathan’s family free from uncertainty, cold and hunger.  
‘I have only spent 2 hours on the books this morning and I have many questions. So, let’s go through them. Unless you have a more pressing business to attend to today?’  
‘No Sir, nothing that cannot wait,’ and with this answer Jonathan pulled the spare chair opposite the desk, sat down and waited for the questions to be fired.  
Ian Kermor spread a map of the estate on the desk and started his questioning. After 3 hours or so he called a halt and invited Jonathan to join him in the kitchen where Tamsin had prepared lunch for them.   
The kitchen was more crowded than it had been for a long time. A man and a woman were sitting down eating, Ian introduced them as Loïk and Simona. Loïk was Mr Kermor’s man and Simona was the children’s nanny. They did not speak English, said Kermor who did not elaborate further.  
The young girl Jonathan had already met in the gardens was there, as well as a boy probably 2 or 3 years older than her, they were already tucking into the food. They both got up when they saw Jonathan and their father enter the kitchen.  
‘My daughter Charlotte, she is 8, and my son Meredith, 11, both apparently starving,’ smiled Kermor.   
It was the first smile Jonathan had seen from the man. It reached his unusual emerald green eyes. The girl had inherited her father’s beautiful eyes, her dark brown hair fell in loose curls now tied down her back while her father’s hair was straight and black. Jonathan had never seen a more strikingly handsome man, he thought that this man could have sat as a model for the beautiful antique marble busts he used to admire in the great hall when he was a child before they were sold by the previous owner. In contrast to his father’s and sister’s colouring, Meredith had light blond hair and blue eyes. He was a handsome boy, tall and slim, like his father. Kermor introduced Jonathan to them then said:  
‘Help yourself with food. I am sure you understand why we eat in the kitchen as you must be well aware that there is no more furniture in the dining room than anywhere else in this house. Before I purchase some though, there are most probably repairs and decoration that need doing and I’d like you to hire men to get on with it, although beds are going to be needed quickly. You know everyone around here presumably.’  
‘I do, and they’ll welcome the work, Sir,’ answered the younger man as he helped himself to Tamsin’s rabbit meat pies. He was very hungry too, having skipped breakfast this morning in his haste to discover the answer to the questions which had kept him awake most of the night.  
‘Right, come with them tomorrow, we shall go through the house and I’ll tell them what I want done in priority. As you obviously know your job and the estate very well, I am going to lean on you quite a lot in the future. I know nothing about farming and even less about mining. I will need to meet the mine’s manager as well as the tenants of the farms. I assume you know them, so ask them to call on me before the end of the week. I shall visit the estate with you at a later date. However, first-of-all we need to change the steward’s contract as it should be put into your own name as of today.’  
‘Well, thank you, Sir,’ was all Jonathan managed to say.   
He was relieved beyond words, and a much happier man when he reached his cottage that night than he had been on the previous evening. His mother plied him with questions about the mysterious new lord of the manor. The whole village was talking about him with a mixture of both hope and apprehension because their future wellbeing very much depended of what decisions the man would take in future.  
In the following days Jonathan realised that Ian Kermor was a straight talking, no nonsense man who asked direct questions and wanted direct answers. He knew what he wanted done to the manor and the estate and apparently was not short of funds.  
Kermor had written the new contract after lunch, he handed it to Jonathan to read and sign if he agreed with the new terms. Jonathan signed the contract without hesitation, his wage had been substantially increased and as well as the cottage he shared with his family, a cottage was made available for him. The new master of Rosemarkie had told him straight away that he knew just about nothing about farming, but Jonathan realised immediately that he was used to commanding, had a quick mind and asked very pertinent questions, making Jonathan revise some of the ways things were done in in the past to accommodate the improvements required by Kermor.   
Later in the afternoon of the first day, they went walking, Jonathan answering new questions on the way. He felt at ease with the man, who had asked him to talk freely and give his views. There were quite a number of things that Jonathan wished changed and he felt encouraged to voice his opinion by the new lord of the manor. Kermor was commenting on the overgrown gardens between the top road and the front entrance of the manor where sheep and goats were happily gazing and Jonathan took the opportunity to tell him that a large portion of land to the north of the estate was kept free of grazing stocks and farming by the previous owners who wanted to keep it this way for hunting. Jonathan knew that it had not been kept strictly free of stock by the peasants of course, he had closed his eyes and the solicitor who had insisted that no change in the running of the land were made was not told.  
‘Well, I don’t hunt, so we need to make good use of this land, think on it and I’ll wait for your suggestions,’ replied Ian.  
The workers arrived next day and Kermor and Jonathan toured the manor with a master mason and a carpenter to determine where to start with the repairs. The high old east tower was left alone; Jonathan told Mr Kermor that it had only be used by soldiers as a watch tower ocasionally, it had a fantastic view of the bay, it would need to be checked that it was safe from fallen masonry, nothing more. They would concentrate on the main living building for now. The smaller square west tower was not in a bad state of repair, the flat roof was not leaking only decoration would be needed there. The roof of the new wing was not badly damaged either, some slates needed changing and some leaks were found in the servants’ bedrooms, nothing major though.  
Once shutters and windows had been opened, the house did not look as bleak and dark as Kermor had feared. Charley and Meredith had looked at the bedrooms in the family wing near the west tower and had chosen their future quarters. Both rooms were facing the terraces and the sea at the back of the manor. The two adolescents deciding that they’d rather put up with the old fashion decoration than not having their own rooms. Their father ordered cleaning to be done immediately and the fireplaces light against the damp, redecoration would be done later. Another bedroom was chosen for Loïk and Simona, also in the family side of the manor. The carpenter promised that beds could be put together today with temporary mattresses made of straw if the youngsters did not mind. They did not. They were overjoyed, they had reached an age where sleeping in their father’s bed was embarrassing although neither really knew why.   
Close proximity with him had been the norm in the past, raised as they were in the confinement of his cabin on board ‘Danae’. Since, they had discovered the pleasure of not sharing any longer after settling down in the large house that Papa possessed in Paris.   
Since landing in France in January 1814, Papa had taken them first to Paris because he had to report at the Ministère de la Marine and at the Tuileries palace, where the Emperor had given him a medal, then to his childhood home in Térouanne, then on to his lands in Mersac. They had learnt of the end of the war during their journeys. Their father had not stayed long in either of these two latter places and they had been rather relieved at the time. They were back in Paris by August, and were pleased because they liked the house very much and hoped that they would settle there. Unfortunately, Papa had explained that they had to leave, they would only stay here for a few days, time for him to see to some business. They were to fill one trunk each to take and the rest would follow later, he said. He offered no further explanations and his somber mood warned them not to ask questions despite the fact that they really were fed up with travelling.  
Within a few days, a coach had taken them to Calais from where they sailed to England. Because Papa still did not explain, they tried to no avail to get information from Loïk and Simona who accompanied them. In England, Papa had hired a coach and 2 coachmen, and they had travelled first to London where they stayed for a few days because Papa had business to deal with there and then all the way to Cornwall. It had taken one further week of travelling. In London they had slept in an inn, and then there had been one week of sharing beds in posting houses by night and being tossed in the uncomfortable coach by day until at last they had arrived at Rosemarkie.


	6. England July 1815

When Captain Hadrian Keighley’s squadron returned to England in July 1815, they found Europe finally at peace. Napoleon was held on board a ship in Plymouth and was soon to leave for his exile in St Helena.   
The officers repaired to London and they were each debriefed to explain the fiasco in the Indian ocean back in 1813. The admiralty lords had been furious at their failure to capture Mersac, more so because the Frenchman had managed to land France in January 1814 despite the blockade of the French ports. The English newspapers had widely reported this, reopening a sore wound at the admiralty’s side. The English squadron had been ridiculed for letting the French ship slip away and in France Mersac was the people’s hero at a time when the country was clearly losing the war. Their lordships had not forgotten the humiliation even though the tide had quickly turned and Mersac had changed from hero to villain after king Louis had got his throne back.   
The disgraced captains were put « on the beach ». Because the war had ended and that ships were being decommissioned, they did not hold much hope of further employment at sea. Hadrian chose to leave the navy anyway. He had some money put by and beside he needed freedom of movement.   
After the unpleasant debriefing at the admiralty, Hadrian and Thomas found themselves alone in a pub each with a pint of ale and sharing their plans for their future. Hadrian had kept his night adventure in India from his friend. He knew he could trust Thomas with the secret of his sexual preference, but he also knew that his behaviour that night amounted to treason and his friend, who was fiercely patriotic, would have been upset by his behaviour. Hadrian mentioned to Thomas his wish for travelling to Europe now that peace was established. Thomas frowned but said nothing. Their debriefing at the Admiralty had brought back memories of that strange evening in Indonesia and he remembered his friend’s obsession with Mersac.  
‘You never told me where you spent the night after the party. I did not believe the story of you falling asleep in the gardens.’  
‘No? Well I did fall asleep, that much was true. I was in bed, in good company. But sorry I can’t give you any details.’  
‘I don’t want to hear any details. Still, you got over your crush for the Frenchman?’  
‘I did, in a way.’  
‘Good. I presume you have read the newssheets about what kind of man he really is?’  
‘Doesn’t mean I believe them though.’  
Thomas himself did not believe everything he read. Notably the part which said that the young Mersac who had embarked as a green ship boy had become an officer within 4 years just because he became his captain’s catamite...Thomas knew pretty well that the story did not ring true especially because Mersac’s career had been notoriously successful. Also, Thomas was acquainted with an officer who had been a prisoner of Mersac on his very first prize and this officer had reluctantly praised the Frenchman’s professionalism despite his young age. His degree of nautical skills could not have been acquired simply after 4 years at sea. Thomas was certain that even if Mersac had become an officer by bending over for his captain, as newssheets pretended, there must be more to the story.   
Although Thomas did not have the same reasons than Hadrian to be interested in Mersac he couldn’t help understanding his friend’s fascination for the handsome Frenchman.  
‘I don’t believe them either although there could be some truth in some of the stories. I don’t understand for example how a man we’re told had numerous unnatural relationships with other men suddenly decides to rape an English lady who had been his prisoner for weeks. Why would he wait until the morning of his departure to do it? He could have had her anytime he chose and if he liked women as much as men surely there were plenty on the island he could have had freely. With his looks they were probably begging for his attention.‘  
Hadrian looked at his friend with astonishment, he had not expected him to defend his lover. He nevertheless decided not to tell him about the night he had spent with Mersac but admitted:  
‘In fact, I am not really over the crush as you call it, I have thought about him a lot of these past 2 years and I have decided to go to Paris. I want to meet him, get to talk to him and maybe this way I will get him out of my head for good.‘  
‘If you can find him. I read that he has vanished. Maybe he went back to the island that sheltered him during the war. The rajah has now accepted British rule after the French defeat and our ships are in his port because he has no choice, but he made it clear that Mersac was his dearest friend and therefore he could be living there. Maybe they were lovers after all.’  
Hadrian blanched. He could not abide the thought of Mersac giving himself to another. He had read the pamphlets, like everyone else, and at the back of his mind a little voice (the voice of reason?) had told him that if Mersac could lay with him so casually then he could do so for others too. Maybe he was as promiscuous as they said and had forgotten him. Hadrian’s pride baulked at this. In his dreams Mersac was as obsessed with him than he was. But what if that it was only a dream after all, brought about by long lonely days and nights at sea with nothing to occupy his mind except the souvenir of a passionate night. He could not possibly voice this to Thomas though, so he put himself together and answered:   
‘Well, I’ll see. It will do me good to travel anyway.’  
He stirred the conversation to another subject and when they parted a few hours later they exchanged addresses where letters could be sent and promised each other to keep in touch before they went on their separate way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1815–September – Falmouth – Thomas has been appointed in Falmouth

Thomas did not stay unemployed for very long. His career had been honourable despite the Kediri incident so he was given a post at the Royal navy docks in Falmouth and he was not unhappy to have a land posting as he could at last enjoy spending time with his wife, Alicia. They had been married for 6 years now but had been separated for most of those years due to his long sea service in the Indian ocean. The couple was now hoping to be able to settle down and start a family.  
They immediately liked Falmouth. They found a pleasant house to rent near the docks and Thomas’s offices. Thomas was politely welcomed by his fellow officers who did not ask unpleasant questions. The unfortunate incident was not mentioned, and he quickly settled into his new functions on land.  
2 months after he’d arrived, he received an invitation for him and his wife to a function at city hall. It was to be a grand and jolly affair according to his fellow officers, happening once a year and ending with a ball. Every lady and gentleman in the Falmouth area and even beyond was invited and Alicia, who had been a little lonely, was hoping that she would therefore start to make friends after this event.  
Falmouth was home to the much loved and revered retired admiral Trewin and Thomas was hoping he would be presented to the man who was one of his heroes. Soon after their arrival at the event, Thomas’s senior officer Commodore Williams took him to meet the man in question. Admiral Lord Trewin was still slim and alert despite his advanced years. Thomas put him in his sixties. He congratulated Thomas on his new posting and wished a happy life in Falmouth to Alicia.  
‘I must introduce you to my wife, my dear,’ commented the Admiral’ she will be very pleased to introduce you to her circle of friends in the area. She is dancing at the moment with her favourite partner who is also a good friend of mine.’  
Alicia was somewhat surprised; the Admiral must be over 60 years old she thought, so it was unusual for a lady around this age to be still dancing. She was also a little bit worried at the idea of spending afternoons with ladies so much older than herself. The music stopped, and a couple in their thirties approached them. Lord Trewin introduced his young wife with great pride, she was a pretty, lively, smiling woman and Alicia took to her immediately. Her dancing partner was introduced as Mr. Ian Kermor of Rosemarkie Manor. He bowed and smiled at Alicia and she found herself looking at the most strikingly handsome man she had ever seen. He had thick black hair streaked with a few white strands, a beautiful classical face and the eyes that were smiling at her were a dazzling emerald green. He also had a dimple in his left cheek. He warmly welcomed her in Falmouth and told her that he would be glad to receive her husband and herself at his house. She thanked him and cursed herself for blushing like a 15-year-old.  
Thomas was frozen still. He was thankful that Alicia had been introduced first as it gave him time to recover from the shock he felt when he had seen the couple approach and he had recognized the man. He was sure that he was looking at Rear-Admiral Mersac. And yet the man was speaking in English without the slightest trace of a French accent and he was also looking at Thomas without any hints that he knew him. Thomas started to doubt, after all he had only met the Frenchman once 2 years ago and not seen him close either. Thomas remembered a somber and even arrogant look on the man at the time, very far from this smiling man with his merry eyes. Could he be seeing someone with a strong likeness or was his memory playing tricks on him. They bowed and exchanged a few words before the music restarted and Thomas excused himself and joined the dancers with Alicia.  
The rest of the evening passed very pleasantly, and they went home tired and happy. Thomas did not share his doubts with his wife regarding Kermor. He had observed the man several times during the evening and the doubt remained in his mind that he could be Mersac.  
If Ian Kermor, as he was known in this company, had shown no surprise or recognition whatsoever when introduced to Thomas, it was because he had seen him enter the assembly room with his wife earlier in the evening. He had been alone at the time, having just accepted a glass of wine that he downed gratefully after the shock of seeing someone emerging from his past. He turned around, so that Thomas would not spot him and cursed silently at how unfortunate it was that all his efforts to remain hidden were now in jeopardy because one of the very few English officers he had met in his career ended up precisely where he was living. Ian thought hard about the right course of action to take and decided to risk pretending that he did not know Thomas. After all Thomas did not know that Mersac spoke English fluently and maybe, given the altogether different circumstances and the different name he might not place him.   
Ian went to talk with Lord Trewin and his wife Lady Amber. When the music started, he invited Lady Amber just as he saw Commodore Williams, Thomas and a young lady make their way towards them and he swooped Amber into the dance.  
He decided that he had to be bold about the whole thing if he wanted to have a chance that Thomas would at best not recognize him or at worse have enough doubt to say nothing this evening.   
So, he charmed Thomas’s wife, Alicia, with his easy smile and light conversation. He welcomed them warmly and even invited them to his house. But of course he immediately saw the shock on Thomas’s face and then read his doubts in his eyes. Well at least no awkward questions were asked, and Ian deemed this at least to be a victory.  
The evening passed nicely, it was a most pleasant lively gathering, he did not see the couple again to talk to and everyone went home at dawn, most of them drunk and tired out.  
The next day at the Royal Navy rooms the officers spoke of the ball and asked Thomas his impressions of Falmouth good society. He used the opportunity to speak of Admiral Trewin and mentioned his introduction to the Admiral’s friend, Mr. Kermor.  
‘I did not quite understand who this Mr. Kermor is,‘ he said, ’is he a landed gentleman or is he in trade?’  
‘A little of both as it turns out, he has substantial lands with one copper mine and several farms on his estate, but he also imports wine from France and I hear that china clay was found on his lands and that he is interested in manufacturing pottery.’  
‘I see, it’s uncommon for landed gentlemen to go into trade, his ancestors would not have approved.’  
‘I wouldn’t know about his ancestors. He is not from Cornwall you see. It’s quite a story, his estate was won at cards by his aunt around 10 years ago and the lady put the deeds in her nephew’s name, only he did not claim it until after the war ended. He just appeared one day and that was that. Everyone thought he was going to sell and leave but no, he settled here which was a good thing because he is rich and has spent a great deal of money on the estate improving the lives of many around here. Lord Trewin immediately took to him and that friendship helped Kermor being quickly accepted into Falmouth society.’  
‘Right, thanks,’ said Thomas,’ he has invited my wife and I to visit him and I did not want to say the wrong things. Must have been quite a shock for the previous owner of the estate to lose his property in such a way.’  
‘He was an arrogant bastard anyway; he had put the estate against the payment of his huge debts because he was sure that he could win against a woman. He left the country to avoid debtors’ prison. As I said people around here have welcomed the change.’  
‘Is Mr Kermor married? He was not accompanied at the ball.’  
‘Yes and no. Rumour has it that he is separated from his wife but cannot divorce her because they are catholic. It has stopped the mamas trying to push their daughters on to him. He has 2 children and he dots on them.’  
‘Well thanks again, I hope he does invite us, I am most curious to get to know this mysterious man.’  
Thomas ended the conversation and picked up a pile of files he was meant to study. His mind drifted to other matters though. The timelines fitted, the similarity in the first names, the catholic link too, the French were mostly catholic. Everything he learned reinforced his thoughts that Ian Kermor and Yannick Mersac were the same man.   
Yannick spent the night in Falmouth. He had acquired a building in town with a warehouse, shop and a small flat for his business activities of wine import and sale. It was not a large enterprise, he only wanted to sell the wine and brandy he imported from his estate in France and the return of the hostilities in the spring had put a stop to the import. He was expecting the imports to start shortly now that peace looked definite with Napoleon sent far away to St Helen’s.  
Yannick had never been a fervent admirer of the Emperor. He was a republican at heart, the ideals of liberty of the young republic were attuned with his own beliefs than men should be able to make their own choices in life and have a right to decide who should govern them. Napoleon’s police were all too powerful for his taste and most of all he couldn’t forgive the Emperor for restoring slavery. He knew that the rich planters in the Islands of the West Indies relied on slavery to man their lands and make money, why his own grand-mother Amélie was the sister of a rich planter and Yannick knew he had cousins living in Martinique who supported slavery, but himself hated the thought of it.   
So, when Napoleon escaped from the Isle of Elba in March 1815, Yannick did not rally with so many who wished to see him back on the throne. He intensely disliked the king and his Court, but he wanted nothing to do with politics at all. His only aim in life was to ensure a peaceful and prosperous life for his children. And that meant to keep his anonymity at all cost and avoid any suspicion or rumour about himself. He therefore led a chaste and simple life. It was not easy every day, but he knew that it was the only way that he could avoid trouble or gossips.   
And now all these efforts risked being shattered because of the sudden appearance in his life of a man who knew who he was.   
Yannick did not sleep well that night. His mind was hovering between options. Unfortunately, it was not as if Thomas would quickly disappear from his life. The Captain would stay in Falmouth and Yannick was bound to find himself in his company again sooner or later. He could only find two options to his dilemma, both risky.  
He could keep pretending that he was Ian Kermor and if Thomas asked probing questions he would have to lie, but he knew that Thomas would quickly work out the flaws in whatever explanations he had, there were far too many coincidences, his looks, the dates of his arrival in Cornwall, even his wine import business with France... Or he could speak honestly with Thomas. The risk with the first solution was that Thomas would very likely find out the truth anyway and would not be happy to be lied to. He had doubts already, Yannick had seen it on his face. A few questions and no doubt that this intelligent man would guess.  
By morning Yannick had decided that he would come clean and hope for the best. Honesty was not his only reason for choosing to talk truthfully to Thomas. At the Rajah’s reception in Indonesia he had noticed that Thomas and Hadrian often spoke to each other, they acted as if they were friends and Yannick wondered if Thomas could help him see Hadrian again, or at least tell him how he felt about the Rear-Admiral.  
The memory of the night spent with the handsome English Captain was always on Yannick’s mind. For the first time in his life he had totally lost control in the arms of another man. He remembered every delightful moment and wished he could have more. He had envisaged writing to Hadrian, care of the Admiralty, to let him know of his presence in England but cautiousness had stopped him because writing would mean revealing his fake identity and his address. If he told Hadrian where to find him who knew what the consequences could be. After all he did not know the man, if Hadrian wanted to divulge Yannick’s whereabout he would have to leave England. Once again, he thought of the children, they were happy at Rosemarkie, he had no desire to uproot them again. But now of course the situation had changed, Thomas knew who he was, the danger of discovery loomed, he had to face it. By morning he had decided to speak to Thomas and come clean hoping that Thomas would keep silent about his true identity.  
He made his way to the Royal Navy rooms in the afternoon and asked to speak to Thomas. He was led to a small office where Thomas was reading some letters, thankfully he was alone. Yannick closed the door behind him and bowed slightly to Thomas:  
‘Captain Adams, I think we need to talk, don’t you?’  
‘Yes, can I take it that you are not going to pretend that Ian Kermor is your real name?’  
‘I am not, although I do feel entitled to use it because it was my mother’s maiden name and I am beholden to her sister for giving me Rosemarkie estate and therefore a chance to a new life. I came to ask you to also give me a chance and let me live here with my children under this borrowed name. If you do not, I will have to sell and leave to start again somewhere else for I know that I shall not be allowed to live a quiet life anywhere under my true identity.’  
‘You could be a spy for Napoleon.’   
‘I am not. Ask around, I did not leave my estate when the war restarted in Spring. I even suggested that soldiers take residence in my house to look out in case of invasion as the house has a tower which gives an extended view of the sea. I did not want the war to restart, I had just started a business of importing wine and brandy from France, the war was not in my interest. As it is, the first shipment has not yet landed. As I said, I only want a quiet life for my children who they love it here.’  
‘What of your friendship with Admiral Trewin? Does he know who you are?’  
‘No, he doesn’t. Only my children and my 2 servants know. And you, now.’  
Thomas was silent for a little while. The Frenchman’s honesty was obvious. He decided that as the war was indeed over and Napoleon safely shipped to the end of the world there was no reason why Mersac should not be allowed to live anonymously in England. Also, it was probably just as well that he knew where he lived should the need to find him arise in the future.  
‘Very well, I shall keep your identity secret. But I would like you to stay well away from me and my wife in the future, please.’  
He saw the hurt in the Frenchman’s eyes, but he did not care. The rape allegations could be true, and he wanted to protect Alicia at all costs. Mersac caught his breath and said:  
‘Does Captain Keighley feel the same as you do towards me, or would he welcome a letter from me?’  
Thomas was shocked. He had always thought that the Frenchman had been toying with his friend in India, trying to provoke him to making a mistake so the question puzzled him. Still, whatever the reason for Mersac wanting to write to Hadrian, he thought that it was not in his friend’s interest to hear from the Frenchman. Thomas hoped that Mersac was right in assuming that no one else knew where he was living. So, Hadrian’s quest in France was going to be unsuccessful and maybe he could turn the page and get on with his life.  
‘I don’t know,’ lied Thomas, ’but I don’t advise you to try to contact him or I will reveal your fake identity. If you do not heed my advice and that Hadrian gets hurt, I will let the cat out of the bag.’  
Yannick smiled sadly.  
‘I could never hurt Hadrian.’  
Then he bowed and let himself out.   
Thomas remained alone and thoughtful, he was unsettled by Mersac’s obvious sad expression as well as his use of Hadrian’s first name. Maybe the attraction had been mutual after all. What if the two men had exchanged more than looks that night? The thought made Thomas shudder, surely not, his friend could not have betrayed his country and lay with the Frenchman. He dismissed this pernicious thought immediately. This whole business was uncomfortable for him, why couldn’t Hadrian find himself a pretty girl and fall for her like everyone else, he cared for his friend very much, but he was at a loss when it came to understanding Hadrian’s sexual preference.   
He sighed heavily, he really did not want to think any more about Mersac’s visit, uncomfortable as he was to have lied to the man and worse of all to have betrayed his best friend. He shook his head ruefully before going back to his pile of documents.  
Thomas did not meet Kermor again in the following 3 months, he did not know whether it was coincidental or careful planning from the Frenchman. He had not heard from Hadrian since their last meeting before he departed for France. Thomas had sent a letter telling him his new address as soon as he had moved to Falmouth and he was starting to get a little concerned by the lack of news from his friend. The guilty feeling Thomas had felt regarding his withholding his knowledge of Mersac’s hereabout to Hadrian kept creeping to his mind despite his efforts to put it aside. He was wondering if his decision had been right after all, and what if Hadrian had decided to sail to Indonesia in search of Mersac? Thomas knew that he had not acted as a true friend should have done and it made him unhappy. He did think of going to Mersac and telling him that he had been wrong, and that Hadrian was looking for him but, the weeks passed, and he kept putting it off.


	8. 1815– December - England –  dark moods - Yannick/Loic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> England – dark moods - Yannick/Loic

If Yannick had not travelled to Falmouth these past 3 months, it was partly because he had been busy with estate business. He spent a lot of time with Jonathan trying to find a solution to the supply problem the estate was facing. The crops yield had been poor this summer and the weather was already very cold and wet which was unusual for this time of year. Jonathan had warned Yannick that the farms could get into trouble early and not have enough fodder to feed their animals until springtime. Yannick was glad he had judged his young steward rightly when he gave him the job, unfortunately neither men could see an immediate solution to the problem. Cattle would have to be put down if they could not be fed and even if it provided food, it was a short-term solution and an expensive one because the animals would have to be replaced in the spring.  
Much had changed in the estate since the new owner had arrived, the fields which had been kept free of crops or grazing sheep by the previous owner were now farmed and this new intake of corn had been welcomed, repairs of the cottages were finished, no one in the village or the farms would have to deal with drafts or leaking roofs this winter and Yannick had bought quantities of poultry and piglets in the spring to be distributed in the village to help improve the life of his tenants. He had also supervised the repairs to the fishing boats, buying new nets and making sure every boat was now seaworthy.  
Work was ongoing on the much-neglected quays and the newly constructed fish cellars were put in use during the pilchards fishing season to preserve the fish ready for storing into barrels and be sold. It had been a suggestion made by Jonathan soon after Yannick had arrived. The young man had explained how other villages along the Cornish coast had found a way to preserve their pilchards, and also sell what they did not need. It meant a large financial investment the previous owner had been unwilling to make, not so Yannick. And of course, clay had been found on his land. It was not going to be a large mine, and would not compete with the huge clay mines around St Austell, but it was large enough to bring in money and employment.   
Being responsible for families was a new experience for him, he had been used to make sure the crews of his ships were treated as well as possible, but on land he was faced with different problems, it was people of all ages who needed caring for. So, he was open to new ideas which could improve their lives and Jonathan with his knowledge of the land and the people as well as his youthful enthusiasm and new ideas was the perfect person to help him out.   
Yannick was quite distressed by the situation of children on the estate. After he found out from his mine manager that children who were aged only 5 or 6 worked in his copper mine he had been horrified. He had immediately put an end to it and forbid that any child under 12 should work either in the mine or in the fields only to be faced with strong protest from the parents who needed the money to survive. He had opened a school, engaged a teacher and actually paid the parents to put their children there. It had worked even so it raised quite few eyes-brows among the landed gentry in the area who couldn’t understand why he spent so much money unnecessarily in their eyes.   
Yannick ignored the critics and, nearly 18 months after starting to make changes at Porthdowns he could see the improvements around him. He was always greeted with big smiles anywhere in the estate, he could hear children laughing and people singing, and the villagers looked healthier than they had been when he’d arrived.   
He had acquired the property in Falmouth during his first few months of arriving in the town to develop his wine and brandy importing and selling business from his own production in Mersac to England. His first shipment had been delayed by the renewal of the war early in 1815, but it had arrived in Falmouth at the end of October and although he had very much wanted to be there to supervise the storing of the casks and the setting up of the shop he kept away. He did not want to risk meeting Thomas or Alicia by chance. He employed a manager and two workers for the business, and they could manage without him being present. He was aware that this business would not be profitable for quite sometimes because of the high prices of his wines. He was paying very high tax duties on his imports and therefore couldn’t compete with the prices of the smuggled wine one could easily find in these parts of the country. He was hoping that with the end of the war, the navy would be able to put its resources into fighting the smuggling and reduce the amount of spirits coming illegally through from France, that’s what Thomas was employed at fighting.  
But, despite throwing himself into estate work, spending time with his children over their books or giving them fencing lessons, he still found that he could not sleep at night, his mind forever questioning the decisions he had made and, moreover, trying to work out why he was so obsessed with the memory of one night with a man whom after all he knew nothing about outside a bed.  
It was eating him up and with the weather getting progressively worse so was his mood. He could no longer take long walks by the sea, go swimming or gallop in the fields with the children and the dogs because it just wouldn’t stop raining. He was exercising the children at swords and sabres fighting in the long gallery for longer time each day much to the displeasure of their tutor especially because he was teaching both his son and his daughter.  
He had found it difficult to find a tutor suitable for both children. There were about 3 years between them and their interests differed greatly. The tutor, Mr. Croft, had been surprised to see that it was Charley who loved Greek and Latin while her brother preferred drawing and painting. They both learnt the piano, but neither was very enthusiastic in practising. Meredith preferred the violin he had started to play with sailors on his father’s ship at a young age. Yannick had recruited this tutor because he was a married man and his wife had been willing to give Charley the much-needed lessons on the skills a young lady of her rank should know. He had arranged for the tutor and his wife to have their own rooms in the house and could therefore live a separate life from his household outside lesson times.  
Evenings were the worst moments in Yannick’s life. After Charley and Meredith had gone to bed, he found himself alone with his dark thoughts, remembering the decisions he had taken during his life, and what he had given up in exchange consequently. His logic and clear mind told him that there was no point wasting time thinking about ‘what if’, that he had made his choices with a clear head each time, but it was of no use, beside he knew that it was not true. He had listened to his heart more than once and each time with drastic life-changing consequences, with Camille, with Julia, with Alexis. Each time he had followed his heart and his senses his life had changed its course dramatically.   
Because of his love affair with Camille, he had been dismissed from college and had enlisted on-board Liberté. He had loved and married Julia who had abandoned him but this time he had gained Charley, so his heart had not been broken for long and as for Alexis, he still could not work out what went wrong with Alexis, how could this woman with whom he had had a passionate love affair could have accused him of rape was beyond his comprehension. And of course, this accusation was the reason why he had fled France after the war.   
He had ignored the first slanderous pamphlets accusing him of buggery thinking that it would eventually go away, even though he disliked the suggestions that he had owed his command to his scandalous behaviour. He had believed that he could ride this ugly storm until the pamphlets revealed that he had raped an English lady who was his prisoner on Kamorta. He could not abide the idea that people around him believed him capable of such a hideous crime.   
With Hadrian he had followed his body’s needs. He was at the time still reeling about Alexis’ rejection just a few weeks previously, loving and hating her at the same time for the hurt she had caused him. The handsome Englishman had reminded him of how good it was with another man, and he had acted on it. But now, two years later, he knew that he should not listen to his body craving for Hadrian’s touch, so he followed his head, not his heart or his senses, and he decided that safety was best for him and the children. Never mind how hard this was, he would not try to contact Hadrian. He kept repeating this in his head time and time again. Best for the children. They deserved the kind of care-free childhood he had not experienced.  
He was so lonely though. He had not thought about how lonely he was before and it was strange that after not thinking about Hadrian too much for years, he could not get him out of his head now. Maybe it was because it was tantalizingly possible to renew their acquaintance in England. What he had accepted from the beginning as a once-only sweet dalliance suddenly became something that could happen again in the future, if he did not respect his promise to Thomas.  
He could not open himself to anyone: Loïk knew nothing of his passionate night with Hadrian and of course he could never be a friend with Jonathan. His only friend, Maxence, was in the south of France and he doubted that Maxence would have approved either. He knew that his flag captain had been hurt when he had not told him his address in England, he had explained that it was so that he would not have to lie if asked this address, but he knew that Maxence had been upset despite the given reason. The letters sent through his solicitor had progressively been scarcer over the months.  
Since arriving in Rosemarkie, he had started to enjoy a glass of brandy after his evening meal and then settling down to read by the fire or the window depending on the weather, but since his visit to Thomas he had not been able to concentrate on a book and he had started pouring himself more than one or two brandy every night in the hope of finding at last the sleep that was eluding him. But it did not work, his nights were restless and fitful, and his tiredness soon impacted on his daytime mood.  
Loïk had noticed, of course he had, he kept the keys of the wine cellar. He had tried to make Yannick aware of his too heavy drinking by not leaving full bottles in the dresser, forcing him to call and ask for a new bottle each time. He did it hoping that Yannick would notice how much he really consumed until he realised that he didn’t care. Loïk tried to talk to him. He told him bluntly to put himself together and stop feeling sorry for himself. Yannick was used to Loïk speaking honestly to him, but his words shocked him and annoyed him, nevertheless. He answered with a cold rebuff and a sharp ‘get out of my way,’ for the first time in all the years they had known each other.  
Loïk had first met Yannick on the frigate Liberté. He was 25 years old at the time and the Captain’s coxswain. Yannick was a 15-year-old shipboy. Loïk had seen how the adolescent had progressed to become an officer within 4 years and the road the young man had chosen to follow to reach his goal had disturbed him at the time until he got to know him better and understood why he had done it. It was nevertheless something that he still found difficult to come to term with after all these years of living next to him.


	9. 1794 – 1804 –  Yannick’s life on board Liberté

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1794 – 1804 – Yannick’s life on board Liberté, how he got on board after his love affair with Camille and his expulsion from college. Becoming a hero. Reminiscence of his childhood, revealing how his father first abused him. Love affair with André, his first command of the English prize Seagull.

It was spring 1794, France was at war with England and Jean-Baptiste de Courcelles, now aged 15, had no difficulties finding a berth on board a war ship. He had been thrown out of college after he was discovered in bed with his lover, one of the older pupils, and as he had no home to go to, he had decided to enrol in the navy. He loved the sea, he was a good sailor, having spent hours learning the trade with his uncle and his ship master. He had sailed most days from the age of 5 until 12 on board the small cutter which belonged to his uncle Pierre, a retired navy captain. After Pierre’s death, old Yannick inherited the boat and he had settled down in Dielette, a coastal village near the Térouanne estate. He had become fond of Jean-Baptiste and he knew of Pierre’s intentions to protect the child. He became a great comfort to the boy over the next few years. Jean-Baptiste liked nothing more than to go out to sea with him and he found solace from the relationship; it occupied his mind instead of dwelling on the thought of what would happen when his father came back to Térouanne for the summer. His ambition was to learn sailing skills to able him to sail away one day with his mother and sister, far from his hated father. This never happened, his mother died when he was 12 and his father took his sister away from him.   
The ship he enrolled on was a frigate, Liberté, and he entered his name as Yannick Mersac; Yannick in homage to the old master who had been his teacher and his friend when he had most needed one and Mersac because of his kind uncle. It was not a false name, after all he was the rightful Comte de Mersac. Besides he never wanted to be addressed by his despicable father’s name again in his life.   
On board, the master took one look at him and shook his head:  
‘One word of advice, lad, keep your head down, don’t get yourself noticed by the captain or by any of the other men, or else. You are far too pretty to be left alone in your hammock, if you understand my meaning.’  
The adolescent understood only too well. He was determined that he would not be used in this way again and he did as he was told. The ship sailed on. Yannick got used to keeping his head down while he worked, his face always sullen, not very clean, his hair untidy and falling over his half-closed eyes. He was left alone, no one likes the company of a young man who never laughs, always grumble, does not look clean and never looks at you in the eyes. The captain did not notice him either. He slept alone, peacefully.   
But he hated his position in the ship. He was doing menial, unrewarding and dirty work, and he could see how terrible the ship’s officers were. They were undisciplined, ignorant, and despite the captain’s and the master’s efforts the ship was running efficiently. ‘Liberté’ had been engaged in a battle near Ushant on the 1st of June and Yannick had been dismayed by the lack of skills displayed by some of the officers. He reckoned that luck had been on their side that day to have saved them from capture by the English ships. His intelligence and knowledge were offended, he knew he was so much better than they were. After only a few weeks of cruising, and the dreadful experience of the battle, he found his position unbearable and realised that his situation could not be improved without forcing fate; if he remained as he was his position would not change. He had to catch the captain’s attention if he was to have any chance at all to convince him that he could be better employed on board. He knew what price he would have to pay to reach his goal but, he reasoned coldly, nothing was ever achieved without taking a risk or giving up something. He knew what he would have to put up with in exchange, what the captain was going to do to him, but after all said and done, he was no virgin, he had known both brutality and love in bed, and he decided that he could bear the captain using his body if it meant the chance of a better future on board.   
The opportunity to be noticed came soon enough. Yannick was in the halliards where he had been sent to help the top men to furl a sail which had come undone. The captain was just below him, unhappy about yet another earlier display of bad seamanship. Yannick got hold of a line and slid down gracefully to the deck, landing just 3 feet in front of the captain. The captain had watched his descend. Yannick stood tall in front of him, he swept his hair off his face and looked straight at his commanding officer. The captain could not take his eyes of the beautiful ephebe standing proudly in front of him. He could not understand how this beauty could have been on his ship for weeks and escape his notice.  
‘I want you in my cabin in one hour. And go to the heads before you come.’  
That was all. Yannick felt a twist in his stomach. Well, he had done it now, no possible turning back. The instructions were clear enough and so was the captain intent. The men around him had looked on with surprise. None of them had guessed how gorgeous Yannick was. There were quite a few wishing that they had. But it was too late. The captain did not share his conquests, well not until he tired of them anyway. All they needed was patience.  
One hour later, under the smirking eyes of the whole crew, and accompanied by wolf whistles, Yannick entered the captain’s cabin. André looked at him and asked:  
‘Are you a virgin?’  
‘No, captain.’  
‘Good, I can’t stand snivelling virgins. Take off your clothes and bend over my desk.’  
Yannick swallowed hard and did as he was told. He tried to convince himself that he knew what was coming, that he was prepared and could put with it; it was too late anyway. André wasted no time, he entered the youth with one deep thrust, holding the slender hips firmly with both hands. Yannick gasped but did not fight it, he knew it would be worse if he did. André thrust lustily in and out, quicker and quicker until he spent himself with a groan inside the adolescent, satisfied at last. He had fucked one or two other young sailors since they had left port but none as handsome as this one. He had climaxed too quickly for his liking this time, but that was because he was too excited. He slapped Yannick’s buttocks gently as he withdrew and said:  
‘Good boy, I’ll last longer next time, don’t worry, I’ll make you come, go back to your station now, I will send my coxswain to get you when I have further need of you.’  
Yannick got dressed and left. It had not been too bad after all; he had expected worse. He had known far worse in his young life. He could put up with this, but the hardest part of his plan had yet to be played out. He had to make André like him enough to want to spend more time with him and not become bored and dismiss him. Yannick had to convince André that he was worth promoting from simple ship-boy to officer. I will just have to pretend that I am in bed with Camille, he thought, and act accordingly. He just had to hope that André would want him again.  
Yannick needn’t have worried. The Captain’s coxswain, Loïk, came to fetch him at the end of the day. André kept him all night and used his body several times leaving the young man very sore by morning. Yannick realised that he had not been prepared for this after all. He had never had to accommodate a man several times during the same night and by morning he wondered if he was going to be able to bear the physical pain after all. The price to pay was going to be much higher than he had thought. Walking out of André’s cabin felt like torture. It must have shown on his face because Loïk, after taking a look at the young fool, told him to follow him and led him to the ship’s doctor’s cabin. The doctor did not ask questions, he knew well enough what Yannick’s problems were and after Loïk left them, he did his best to relieve the lad with rose water and unguent.  
Yannick was thankful to Loïk, he would not have dared consult the doctor on his own, which was stupid because the whole crew knew what the captain was up to with him in his cabin. As they found themselves thrown together often, they started easy conversation, not knowing that their lives were going to be linked from now.  
André became besotted with his new young lover. He had Yannick in his bed every day, frequently keeping him all night, never tiring of his beautiful and willing body. Yannick did not pretend any longer that the man who was fucking him was Camille. He was enjoying intercourse with André. The doctor’s unguent has soothed him, and his body had become accustomed to his lover’s assaults over time even though the first few weeks had taken a toll on the youngster. André was a large muscular man in his thirties, strong and virile, and although he did not hurt the adolescent on purpose, he did not take him gently either; Yannick found that this kind of fucking pleased him very much. After two months or so, he talked to André about his wish to become an officer. André had noticed that the manners of the youth were not those of a commoner. Yannick told him the truth, he had been educated in college and possessed naval skills as well.   
André put him under the supervision of the ship master, Albert. He also asked Loïk to keep an eye out for his young lover. The master discovered that Yannick could use a sextant, could calculate the ship’s position with accuracy on a map, something that the 3rd lieutenant still had difficulties with.   
As the years went by, André did not grow tired of having the young man in his bed. The sailors got used to the fact that the beautiful youth would not be theirs for the taking one day. The officers hated him. They resented his intelligence, his quick thinking, the fact that he showed them for what they were, mostly ignorant of their trade. Some of the sailors appreciated the young man though. He was always polite and respectful of them and they trusted him.  
Loïk became his friend on board, the only one he felt he could talk to. Loïk was fiercely loyal to his captain and he applied that loyalty to Yannick as well, even so he had at first been wary of the adolescent. In his mind there was no place for deception and cold calculation, and he was very aware that if Yannick had made himself noticed to get into André’s bed, it was not out of love for him. Loïk had brutally asked the young man what he was after and Yannick had been truthful. He told him about Camille, his lost lover, about his lost family and his ambition to make something of his life. He knew of Loïk’s distaste for the sexual inclination of his Captain and of his disapproval of his own behaviour but some-how they got along, and they never broached the subject.  
Then one day, a bloody battle against an English frigate changed their lives. The French ‘Liberté’ won at the end leaving the English ship very damaged and taking on water and at the risk of foundering, but the French had also paid a dire price for their victory. Many sailors had lost their lives, André among them. That’s when the surviving officers’ hatred of Yannick could be freely expressed. After receiving report from Liberté’s master, Albert, that the English ship was likely to sink, the first lieutenant, now captain decided to put Yannick in command of the doomed English frigate, ‘Seagull’. He picked a small crew chosen amongst the sailors he disliked or who had crossed his path at one time or another to man the prize-ship. They were sent over to the frigate and Liberté sailed on, leaving them to their fate.  
Yannick did not see Liberté sail away because some of its officers and crew had taken their revenge on the young man before they got rid of him to the prize-ship. They had raped him mercilessly in the captain’s cabin and he was unconscious when he was taken to the frigate’s deck by his crew. When he regained consciousness, the first face he saw was Loïk who had made him as comfortable as possible in the English Captain’s cot. The loyal coxswain had also been sent on board the prize-ship. He informed Yannick that they only had a crew of thirty men to man the ship and keep it afloat and that the English sailors were held prisoners cramped in the lower deck, and in danger of soon being drowned just like they would be after the ship went down.   
Loïk then discovered how resilient and resourceful his young Captain was. He put aside his extreme physical pain to get on with the immediate job on hand: securing the vessel. He had to stop the ship from sinking. The crew had not stood idle while he was unconscious, directed by a master’s mate, they had taken turn to dive overboard held by ropes to find where the water was coming in. The breaches consisted of several canon ball holes below the water mark. The water was coming in slowly but surely and the frigate would not last long unless they managed to plug every hole quickly.   
Yannick took control, he had them throwing overboard as much unnecessary items as possible and transferring the heavy guns onto the undamaged side of the frigate. The idea was to lift the damaged side of the ship as much out of the water as possible; unfortunately they were few of them, and they also needed to work on plugging the holes at the same time which was no easy task. They worked in teams of two, sliding down the hull, then under water, and hammering planks over the holes. But they could only stay under for a minute or two each time. Yannick was glad to discover that at least he had been given efficient men to share his fate.  
He saw straight away that having the English crew on board was to his advantage. They were held in the lower deck, behind bars and water was already reaching above their knees. He went below and talked to them in his fluent English; his total lack of French accent astonished them. He made it clear that if they wanted to live, they had to work hard alongside with his French crew or they would all feed the fish very soon. They agreed immediately; they knew their survival depended on it. Some helped with the jettison of unwanted items, and others teamed with French sailors to work together, and it bore its fruit, the holes were boarded and the ship was stabilized, they were going to survive. While the English sailors worked the pumps to get rid of the water accumulated, the small French crew got some sails up and the ship got slowly on her way. By the time that ‘Liberté’ had disappeared from the horizon the ‘Seagull’s young captain was keeping himself upright solely thanks to his will. The pain was excruciating, he had changed several times the thick pads of dressing he had managed to put in place to staunch the heavy bleeding, but it did not stop, and he half expected to pass out every time he took a step forward. Loïk had seen it of course, he had not left his side the whole time, offering his shoulder for Yannick to lean on when the pain threatened to make him collapse.   
The loyal coxswain had not been the only one to notice either, an English officer approached the two men and told Yannick that he was the ship’s physician, did he need him to care for his wound? After a slight hesitation, the young captain accepted. He disliked the idea, but he needed to be able to command his ship standing from the upper deck and not laid down sick in his cot. Loïk accompanied the English physician to his cabin to pick up his bag then led the man to Yannick’s cabin. The Englishman promised to say nothing regarding his patient’s wound.  
Whatever the doctor had imagined could be wrong with the young French captain, he had not expected what he saw. The man was deeply shocked by Yannick’s wound and wondered how the young man had managed to stay upright for so long. He did his best for his patient; stiches were needed, and he recommended rest and laying down until the swelling decreased.  
‘I will as soon as I have studied the charts,’ answered Yannick.  
They were lucky that the charts had been left in the frigate. ‘Liberté‘s new captain had not wanted his remaining crew to know that he had expressly condemned thirty of their comrades to death, so he and his mates had not lingered in the English frigate long, in case the ship started to sink before they were out of sight. They did not bother with collecting the charts which were of little value. They had taken most of the valuable navigation instruments as well as the money from the pursers’ lockbox, but because of their hurry to sail away from the sinking ship, their search for valuables had been quick and they had missed one sextant in one of the cabins.  
The young captain who was by now watched with admiration for his courage and determination by both the French and English sailors alike was therefore able to set a course for the nearest island where he hoped to secure the ship further.  
The small island they reached after one week of sailing offered them a temporary harbour. They had made it just before water supplies completely ran out. They would be able to replenish their water and hunt for food. Yannick had rested for most of the week and was feeling a lot better by then. Still he had bled abundantly and was still weak. The physician told him that he was a lucky man to have avoided infection.  
Upon closer examination, Yannick quickly realised that the damage to the frigate had been very extensive, and it was a wonder they’d managed to reach the island at all. The ship was emptied as much as possible then beached in a small cove so that repairs to the hull could start in earnest. But Yannick was very worried. He was not at all sure that she could be made safe enough to cross the Atlantic Ocean and get back to France or even reach one of the French islands colonies. They had been lucky with the weather so far, but Seagull would flounder if she met heavy seas, he was sure of it. Also, his crew was small and now that they were safely on dry land the English prisoners were not working with the same incentive as before. In fact, they were slowing the work as much as possible and of course they had to be constantly watched. They largely outnumbered the small French crew and Yannick knew that sooner or later they would try to overwhelm their captors and reverse the roles. He also had the problem of feeding the men. The frigate’s stores had been spoilt by seawater, so a team of crewmen had been given the task of exploring the island to find fresh water and game. Water was plentiful and they caught enough game for day to day meals, but he doubted that they would manage to make enough provisions to feed his men during a few weeks even with leaving the English crew behind on the island. He had no qualms about it, they would just have to wait until they were rescued.  
Luck was with them though, one day the hunters came back very excited and with great news: on the other side of the island, they had watched an English sloop drop its anchor, probably to replenish their water supply. Yannick saw immediately that this could be their way out of the island sooner and safer than by repairing the damaged frigate.   
The English crew was secured in the ship’s hold, Yannick and his men carried the ship’s boats across the island to arrive at night time on the shore opposite the sloop’s anchorage, hoping that it had remained where it was for at least one night. After seeing that the English ship showed no sign of preparing to sail, the French sailors waited until well into the night before boarding their 2 boats and rowing silently towards the enemy ship.   
The night raid was a total success. The English crew never stood a chance, they hardly had time to realise what was coming and no blood was spilt on the French side and very little on the English one. Yannick did not lose time, by dawn, the sloop had joined their damaged frigate in the cove on the other side of the island. The 2 English crews were abandoned on the island with the frigate and Yannick and his men sailed away in the sleek sloop they had taken.   
The objective was to get back to France as soon as possible, but on the way they successfully attacked a merchantman full of precious goods and they entered Brest with it some weeks later.   
The gazette incensed the dashing young captain who immediately became a hero. He had obtained command of a damaged prize ship at the age of 19 and had managed to board and capture an English vessel with only a small crew on 2 rowing boats. With his new ship he had taken a richly laden merchant ship before returning to Brest. His exploit had earned him many praises at a time when the French navy needed good news: The French fleet had been destroyed in the bay of Aboukir earlier that year. The minister of marine immediately confirmed Yannick’s captaincy and he was given a frigate with orders to keep on capturing English merchantmen in the Caribbean. The following years saw him relentlessly harassing English ships, successfully dodging the English squadrons trying to capture him and adding still more prizes to his name. His subsequent cruises had been just as successful, and he was now hailed a hero, gazettes like ‘le Moniteur’ sang his praises and told the story of this humble recruit who rose through the ranks to become the celebrated captain of a large frigate at only 28. When he returned to Brest in 1804, he was everyone’s hero, he was brave, young and handsome. He was everyone’s darling.  
Napoleon’s propaganda had made of the story of Yannick Mersac an example to be followed by the eager youths who believed that it was possible for a commoner to climb through the ranks and become captain of a large frigate at under 30 years old.  
Reality was very different. Yannick Mersac was no commoner. His full name was Jean-Baptiste de Courcelles, Comte de Mersac. His father was Duc de Térouanne and his mother was an English aristocrat, Lady Charlotte Kermor. He spoke English before French thanks to his mother and his English governess. But being the son of a duke, a marquess and an earl in his own right had not guaranteed a happy and carefree childhood, far from it.  
His mother adored him and would have chosen to spend more time with him and his younger sister, unfortunately she lived most of the year at court with her husband, only returning to Térouanne in the summer to be with her son and daughter, Anne-Laure, who was 2 years younger than Jean-Baptiste. Her sister Henrietta spent several weeks each year with her nephew and niece, when her brother-in-law wasn’t at Térouanne. The two of them hated each other; Henrietta was a straight-talking spinster who loved her sister and did not hesitate in telling Valentin what she thought of him. The marriage was unhappy. Valentin de Térouanne was a selfish and violent man. He had married Charlotte because of her rich dowry and family connections, there was no love in that marriage.  
Their first-born, Jean-Baptiste, was a beautiful child, his thick black hair tumbled on his shoulders, he had a lovely face and his emerald green eyes fascinated all who met him. His father had grown suspicious of his son’s colouring from the first time he had seen the baby. No one in his family of blue-eyed-blond had similar colouring except his half-elder brother, Pierre de Mersac, and he started to wonder about the real relationship between his wife and his brother. His suspicions grew even more so after Pierre’s death when it appeared that he had left his possessions and title to his nephew who was only 7 at the time. Valentin had counted on the Mersac estate to replenish his coffers. To see this heritage go to his son instead of him angered him. He was not even given administration of the estate until his son’s majority, his brother had designated a solicitor instead. Valentin had no means to get to his son’s money.   
He convinced himself that the child was not his. He was more and more violent with his wife, beating her up regularly and causing her to miscarry twice. The boy often suffered too from his father’s frequent use of his cane on his buttocks. Then one day he crossed the line to become even worse than a wife and child beater, ending Jean-Baptiste’s childhood one afternoon at Térouanne a few weeks after the humiliating surprise from his brother’s will.   
Charlotte was resting in her room, recovering from yet another miscarriage. She was reading to her son when Valentin entered the room. He told the boy to get out, he wanted to lay with his wife.   
‘You make me wait on purpose, you bitch, do your duty by your husband, ‘he screamed, as he wrenched the bedcovers off. He was drunk.   
Jean-Baptiste did not leave. He got hold of his father’s clothes and tried to pull him of his mother. Valentin turned furiously on the boy, the little bastard dared put his hands on him, he was going to regret it. Valentin pulled his son off him and sent him flying to the floor. Then he approached him, lifting his cane as he did so. He flung the child over a stool and pulled his pants down. Jean-Baptiste braced himself for a beating, it would not be the first one he’d received from his father, far from it, but something far worse happened. Something the boy did not comprehend.  
Valentin, enraged, raped his son under his wife’s horrified stare.   
Jean-Baptiste screamed at the pain he suffered when his father entered him violently. It did not stop Valentin, he was holding the child’s hips tightly to stop him from struggling and he thrust into him relentlessly. Charlotte got out of bed and tried to pull her husband off her son, he ignored her, reaching his climax and spilling himself inside the bleeding entrance. He got up, straightened his clothes and left the room. Charlotte held the sobbing child in her arms, her tears mingling with his. She locked her door, pulled a heavy chair in front of it, hoping it would stop Valentin from coming back and she put the boy to bed. She cared for him as well as she could. Jean-Baptiste cried himself to sleep in his mother’s arms.   
Later that same day he had to face his father in his study. Valentin just warned the boy: ‘You will do as I say and not a word to anyone. If not, your mother will suffer a fatal accident.’  
Jean-Baptiste knew his father would not hesitate to put his treat to execution so he said nothing. But, oh, how it cost him. Because Valentin had enjoyed his despicable act and every summer, when he returned to Térouanne, he visited his son’s bedroom when it pleased him. He covered the child’s mouth to stifle his cries while he used him for his sick pleasure.   
Summers had been Jean-Baptiste’s preferred season in the past because he had his mother beside him. Together with his sister, they would go for walks, rides, picnics and it was a time for laughter and games. Now summers were altogether different. He was torn between the happiness of seeing his mother again and spend time with her and the desperate anguish of the nights, when he went to bed with a cold hand wringing his heart, listening intently for steps in the corridor, hoping that they would not stop by his door and that his father would not cross his threshold and use his body. But his father did. Often. Every 2 or 3 nights, he visited his son’s room and raped him. The first few times he did, he used to force the boy’s head in the pillow to stifle his cries and his struggle for a few seconds until the child stopped moving, frightened, because he could not breathe. Jean-Baptiste understood. He was not strong enough to stop his father and he stopped struggling. He lay listless on his bed instead like a rag doll. Only this rag doll’s little face was wet through and through with silent tears.   
Apart from summers when his father’s presence spoilt his life, Jean-Baptiste enjoyed his life at Térouanne. The estate was by the sea and he loved nothing better than sailing. His uncle Pierre de Mersac had been an adventurer and an officer in the Royale. Pierre had taken the little boy at sea with him in his cutter every time he visited Térouanne. After his uncle’s death and the beginning of his father’s aggression, Jean-Baptiste had taken to spend time on board the little ship moored in the small anchorage near the estate. He would ride his pony to the coast to meet a sailor, Old Yannick, who used to be a master in the Royale and had sailed in the boat with uncle Pierre. Realising the child’s interest with sailing he had proposed to teach him naval skills. Jean-Baptiste had immediately agreed. His ambition was to learn enough to be able to sail away one day with his mother and sister, far from the tyrant who was stealing his childhood. Jean-Baptiste was eager to learn to use a sextant, read a map, calculate a position for that very purpose. It was giving him a reason to live and put up with the awful summers when his father was home.   
Then one day, his dream of a better life after escape came to an abrupt end when his father arrived from Paris with their mother in a coffin. Lady Charlotte had died in childbirth. Jean-Baptiste was nearly 12 and Anne-Laure had just turned 10. Valentin informed them that Anne-Laure was to come to Paris to live with him and Jean-Baptiste was to go to college in Brest. Térouanne was going to be closed. Money was tight. The year was 1790 and the future looked uncertain with the king and his family held virtually prisoner in the Tuileries palace in Paris.  
Jean-Baptiste felt immense sadness at his mother’s passing, but he was not displeased to be sent to college. He was freed from his father’s clutches at last. Brother and sister embraced each other and cried as they were separated. They were close, Anne-Laure made him promise that he would come for her when he grew up, and he did promise. He was scarred of how his father would bring her up. But she was a pretty, blue-eyed-blond girl and Valentin had always dotted on her, believing her to be truly his, unlike him. All Jean-Baptiste could hope for was that she would be all right. At least he knew that Valentin had never beaten his daughter. He felt wretched and powerless to help as he watched the carriage taking her away from him.  
Jean-Baptiste enjoyed life at college. He liked studying and exercising, he was already good with a sword before he arrived, having trained hard at Térouanne with a good master at arms; he became excellent. He liked studying too, mathematics were no problem and he spent hours reading nautical books. He was soon top of his class. He became friend with Camille de St Brice, a handsome, dark haired brown eyed youth 3 years older than himself. Camille had been fascinated by his friend’s good looks at first, he was soon impressed by his intelligence as well as his skills with a sword especially as he was the youngest of the class.   
2 years passed, the political situation in France was chaotic, in Paris the guillotine was residing permanently Place du Carrousel since August 1792 and in September terrible massacres in prisons occurred in Paris and other towns in France.   
Jean-Baptiste had been writing regularly to Anne-Laure for two years after their separation, and she always wrote back, but suddenly the letters stopped coming. He continued to write hoping, but without much conviction, that she received his letters but couldn’t answer. Many aristocrats had fled France, Anne-Laure was maybe safely abroad. He had exchanged letters with his dear aunt Henrietta also, but war with England stopped those as well. He held on to the belief that both were all right because he had no one else. Except Camille.  
Their friendship was stronger than ever, evolving towards deeper feelings between them. Jean-Baptiste had allowed Camille to kiss him, chastely at first, then more deeply. He had never been kissed before, the tingling that rose in his body when Camille’s tongue was in his mouth was new too. And new too, of course, were the erections he had, gently coaxed by Camille’s hand, and the intense pleasure of climax that followed. Camille had been horrified when Jean-Baptiste had confided in him. Camille was sweet and kind, he took things slowly. One night, after a party where wine had been generously served, and Jean-Baptiste was not as tense as usual and he allowed Camille to show him that intercourse could be pleasurable and even desirable. And it was. Jean-Baptiste had just turned 15 and he was in love and happy for the first time in years.   
The young lovers had to be careful that their relationship was not discovered. They enjoyed working out plots to be able to meet outside the school buildings, in barns or other secluded places in and around college. But winter had set in, and the cold had come with it. After several days of not being able to meet, Camille couldn’t help himself; he took the risk of entering the dormitory where his young lover slept, and sneaked into his bed. They made love as quietly as possible, but unfortunately they were heard. Suddenly the covers were flung back, a lantern was uncovered, and a scream of outrage was heard by the house master who had been quietly called to witness the misdeed. The 2 young men were pulled apart, roughly mishandled, and they were taken, naked, across the dormitory under the eyes of their comrades before being thrown into separate cells.   
After one week spent locked up with only bread and water as sustenance, Jean-Baptiste was taken to the headmaster of the college. He had been given a shirt and pants, none too clean, and that is how he stood at attention in front of the man. He was to leave the school immediately. No reprieve; his father had not given any sign of life in the 3 years Jean-Baptiste had been at college. A letter was sent to the solicitor who paid Jean-Baptiste’s fees to explain the reasons for the immediate dismissal, and the adolescent was told to leave immediately. He begged to be given news of Camille but to no avail, he was thrown out of the gates and suddenly found himself alone in the world at 15 and with very little money in his pocket.  
He decided that he would probably waste his time trying to see his solicitor in Paris. Paris was a long way away from Brest and he did not have enough coins in his pocket to travel there and eat on the way. He did not know the town, had never met the man, maybe he would not even agree to give him money in these troubled times. The rumours he had heard from the situation in Paris did not encourage him to go there either. There was only one course open to him really: the navy. He had been dreaming of ships for nearly all his young life. Brest was a busy port, naval squadrons of warships departed from here. France was at war with England and Jean-Baptiste had no difficulties finding a berth on a warship. It was a frigate, Liberté, he entered his name as Yannick Mersac.


	10. 1815  December – England –

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark thoughts on family, Julia and Anne-Laure. Trouble with Meredith

Yannick stood alone in front of the large bay-window in the sitting room of Rosemarkie Manor watching the rain pelt down outside. His thoughts had drifted once again to the past, something he had tried resolutely to put aside since he had moved to England. He had wanted a fresh start, to live a life where he could meet people in the street knowing that no talk or inuendo about his preferences in bed would be gossiped about behind his back.   
He led a chaste life, no lover, male or female, he was careful not to flirt either, therefore no nasty rumour would reach the children. He had let it be known early on in Society that he was not a widower as presumed, but separated from his catholic wife. This had stopped unwanted attentions from hopeful would-be brides. It was not strictly true, he had divorced Julia in the eyes of the law, even if the catholic church did not recognise it. He did not care what the church thought on the matter anyway. Only Loïk and Simona knew his past and they were totally loyal; he had given them a choice to either remain in France with a hefty sum of money to see them happy until the end of their lives or to follow him and his family to England. They had not hesitated for one second to follow him.  
So, now, he felt ashamed of the way he had talked to Loïk who had stood by him at all time and did not deserve to be the victim of his bad mood. But for now, he couldn’t bring himself to call him back and apologize. Besides he was probably in bed by now, and more than likely cursing him and calling him an ungrateful bastard at that. It would keep. He made his way up to his room prepared for another night of tossing and turning no doubt.   
Early on next morning, he went straight to the kitchen where he knew he would find Loïk who had taken quite a liking for the British breakfast Tamsin provided for the household.  
Yannick had invited Loïk and Simona to share the family breakfast in the dining room as soon as a dining room had been open, but the couple preferred to eat in the kitchen with the servants. Despite the long years spent together at sea with Yannick, Loïk still felt uncomfortable at the idea of sharing a meal with his commanding officer. Yannick had never understood why especially because Loïk never hesitated speaking his mind on private topics or arguing with him...   
Yannick apologized to Loïk immediately for his harsh words on the previous evening and admitted that the remarks had been well deserved: he knew that he was drinking far too much for his own good. The children needed him to be sober and healthy, he was their only family. This was not of course strictly true: not counting the grandfather they were never going to meet, they also had an aunt, his sister Anne-Laure who he cherished when they were younger, but who had turned her back on him without even wishing to hear his side of the story.   
He forced himself not to dwell on this as it had been one of the worst hurt he had experienced in the recent years. He had found out about his sister’s decision to reject him last year, soon after his settling down at Rosemarkie. Maître Dubois had written to him to inform him of the visit in Paris from Lord and Lady Durfield who were making enquiries as to his whereabout. They had not known that Jean-Baptiste had become known as Rear-Admiral Mersac and it had apparently been quite a shock to Lady Anne-Laure.   
The solicitor had offered to forward a letter following the arrangement they had made for correspondence to be sent to him, but she had declined and left instructions that her brother was not to know where she lived. Finding out from Maître Dubois soon after he’d settled in England that Anne-Laure did not want to contact him had hurt him deeply. Yannick had made his own enquiries about her though and even about his father. He had discovered that Anne-Laure was married and the mother of two children and he had found out her address. He had respected her wish for no contact; after all she had been brought up by their father and he had likely influenced her mind regarding him. While on a visit to London with the children later that year, he had spied discreetly on her and her family. He had not liked the idea of doing this but had felt compelled to steal a glance at her. She did look happy on the arm of her handsome husband. Their children seemed to be roughly the same age than his own and he had been even more upset by her decision which robbed them of knowing their cousins. He had toyed with the idea of presenting himself to her nevertheless, but had decided against it, not sure that he could deal with an outright rejection from her. He had realised that day that he had probably reached the threshold of pain he could put up with in his life.  
Although abuse had hardened him in his childhood, and he had taken the knocks life had dealt him with courage and determination, moving forward no matter what, he knew he might not have done so well without help along the way. He had been able to count on his mother, on aunt Henrietta, on uncle Pierre and on Old Yannick to strengthen him thanks to their love and encouragement and it had abled him to get on despite his father’s abuse. When left alone in life, he had had to make difficult choices; he had never regretted the ones he had made even though some had brought consequences he could have done without, as well as hurt he still suffered from now. He was now aware that after 30 odd years of coping with the blows life had hit him with, he was not at all convinced he could absorb much more pain. It was when he had been faced with the choice of talking or not to Anne-Laure in London that he had realised that the unbearable pain her rejection would cause was not an option he could risk for the sake of his mental wellbeing.   
It was also why he had not written to Hadrian, care of the Admiralty. He had no idea how Hadrian felt about him, after all they had both known at the time that they could only have one night, so better not spoil the sweet memory. Maybe Hadrian was one of those men who went from conquest to conquest; he had wanted Yannick’s body, that much was clear and maybe it had been enough for him to have experienced the total surrender of the proud French Rear-Admiral. Also, the newssheets had painted such a dark picture of Yannick that he wondered if he wished to be associated with him now. And, of course, Hadrian’s career, just like Thomas’, had probably suffered after the episode of his escape from the squadron; Yannick had read the English newssheets telling his escape in their own words and blaming the English squadron for their failure to catch him.   
Enough introspection for this morning, he decided. He had wasted too much time feeling sorry for himself he must look ahead again, count his blessings, he had plenty: two beautiful and intelligent children, faithful servants and new friends like Admiral Trewin and his wife, a lovely home. And he was not going to confine himself to the house any longer. Too bad if he met Thomas Adams and his wife in town by chance, he wouldn’t ignore them as it would look bad, but a simple bow of acknowledgement would do fine. So, the first thing he did was to go to his study and reply to Lord Trewin’s invitation to his Christmas party.   
As he came out of his study, Yannick found that his children’s tutor was on his way to talk to him. He had a worried look on his face that did not bode well. Yannick invited the man in the room, expecting him to complain once more about the amount of time Yannick spent teaching fencing and shooting to his daughter to the detriment of her more lady-like activities. But he was wrong. The tutor’s concerns were about Meredith.   
Meredith, Yannick knew, had little love for ancient languages and he was just doing enough to get the average results that satisfied his father. Yannick had warned him though that he had to do better, at least in Latin, if he wanted to become a physician, a wish he had recently expressed. The boy loved drawing and painting best of all and that was the reason for Mr. Croft’s visit this morning.   
Meredith, he told Yannick, had drawn some very disturbing sketches and had stormed out of the classroom when Mr. Croft had said so and was nowhere to be found. Charley had helped search for him without success. Yannick asked to see the drawings and he understood Mr. Croft uneasiness looking at them. Meredith liked to draw anything at all including the human body. He liked to copy some of Leonardo Da Vinci studies of human or animals he found in books and Yannick had suspected at first that Mr Croft had been offended by maybe Meredith copying nude bodies. But this time the drawings were very different. There were 3 of them and on each one, a young boy was pictured being pierced with knives or pikes, his face showing horrifying pain. The boy’s posture and expression were slightly different each time, but it was clearly the same child.  
Yannick told Mr. Croft to leave it with him, continue his lessons with Charley. Because the weather was slightly better and it had stopped raining, Yannick suspected that Meredith had gone outside. He put a coat on, pick one up for Meredith and left the house, remembering the day when Meredith had entered his life.


	11. 1808  - India - Finding Meredith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Finding Meredith – Pirates raids - Yannick helps his friend the rajah of Kamorta to get rid of pirates and return with Meredith

In the Indian ocean, Yannick did not content himself with disrupting the English trade. He had established a good relationship with the ruler of the island of Kamorta who in exchange for harbouring his ships had asked him to deal with a problem he had with pirates in the area. Those pirates kept raiding his shores, as well as his neighbours’, stealing both goods and people that they later sold as slaves.   
The pirates thought themselves safe in their lair, on a small island, knowing that the ruler of Kamorta did not have the fire power to dislodge them. They were mistaken, Yannick organised an expedition and raided the island. It was a hard fight. The pirates had nothing to lose and the French gave no quarters. At the end, the pirates who had not died were put in chains and taken to face their punishment. Yannick embarked the slaves on his ship to return them to their homes. All except one.  
Yannick found him in the pirates’ chief house, a terrified 5 or 6-year-old boy crouching underneath a table in the corner of the room. All the slaves they had recovered were of Indian origin, this child, however, with his huge blue eyes, fair skin and hair so blond that it was nearly white, was obviously European. Yannick picked the trembling boy up and brought him on board. The child was silent. Not a word passed his lips; Yannick spoke to him gently, tried to make him understand that he was safe, but he clearly didn’t manage to reassure the terrified child.  
He questioned the other slaves and what he learnt horrified him. The child had been kidnapped during a raid according to one man, according to another, he had been the passenger on a ship taken by the pirates, no one was really sure of where he had come from or what his name, or his nationality were. What was certain was that he was brought to the island to be gifted to the pirate chief around 6 month ago. The pirate chief liked pretty little boys and this one was particularly pretty.   
Yannick understood only too well what the poor child had been through, he resolved to do his best to help him. His daughter, 3-year-old Charlotte was not on board Danae this time, she had stayed behind with her nurse on Kamorta. He wished she had been with him; the presence of another child might have reassured him. He carried the child to his cabin and he decided to put him into Charley’s cot, hoping that he would feel safer in a child’s bed. His servant brought him food and drink, but the boy did not touch anything, he just huddled against the side of the cot, trembling and hugging his knees with a desperate look on his face. Yannick’s heart bled for the little one knowing what the boy was afraid of and unable to convince him he was now safe.   
The ship set sail and after about 2 hours Yannick entered his cabin quietly. The child was deeply asleep. In the morning, food and drink was again offered to him. This time he ate, rather ravenously, his big eyes watching Yannick’s every move. Yannick remained in his cabin for most of the day, he spoke quietly to the boy, reassuring, soothing words, never attempting to touch him; he chose to speak in English and noticed a reaction, it seemed to him that he understood although not a word passed his lips.  
Danae dropped anchor in Kamorta 2 days later. Yannick put the boy in the care of Simona, asking her to clean him up and dress him with the help of Charlotte. He rightly thought that the child might feel easier with a young woman and a little girl to look after him.   
Charlotte was very excited; she couldn’t stop talking. She insisted in sharing his bath, splashing and laughing happily in the water. When Yannick entered the room later, she threw herself in his arms for kisses and cuddles as usual before settling down on his knees, demanding to know everything about the boy, speaking in English as usual with her father. Yannick could not tell her much at all, besides, what little he had found out about his mistreatment he couldn’t possibly tell her anyway. He just explained that he had been taken away from his family by pirates.  
‘Are you going to give him back to his family?’ asked Charlotte.  
‘Yes, if I can find out who they are. Maybe you could help, maybe he will speak to you. It would be good to find out what his name is.’  
Yannick did not manage to find out who the boy was. He made enquiries as far as he could, questioning the pirates’ prisoners, no-one could not tell him where the boy had been bought from. There were so many islands and so many slave markets, he could not possibly visit all of them and even if he did, he knew that it was unlikely that the men who had captured and sold the child would come forward to tell him.  
It took months of patience and love from Yannick and his entourage to gain the trust of the damaged child. Charley played a key role from the beginning. She enticed him to play with her, she was always talking to him, they listened together to the stories her father or Simona read to them at night, they slept in cots next to each other in a little space near her father’s sleeping quarters. The little boy did not tell them his name, they called him sweetheart or love, but Charley thought he should be called Meredith, after a blond and blue-eyed boy in a story her father had read to her. The child readily answered to the name, it’s just a game, Charley had said, you can change name if you don’t like it. Meredith never changed it.


	12. December 1815  – England

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Open hearted talk of the past with Meredith

He found the adolescent without any difficulties. He was at his favourite spot on the edge of the highest terrace behind the house. The view of the bay beneath was breath taking and Meredith had painted it many times before, at all hours of the day and with no care for the weather either.   
Meredith looked to see who was approaching and his face showed traces of tears which hit Yannick in the heart. He realised that while he was himself in the depth of despair, he had not paid much attention to Meredith’s moods these days. The boy was very sensitive, his history was troubled, he did not remember his past before Yannick had rescued him from the pirates and given him a new family. It had taken months before he had started to talk and trust his adoptive father. He still did not talk very much, finding it difficult to express his feelings in words preferring to paint or play the violin instead. Meredith was now 13 or 14, adolescence was not an easy age to go through at the best of time and Yannick knew he would have to tread very carefully if he wanted to help him at all.  
He came up behind the adolescent, put the coat he’d brought on the lad’s shoulders, hugged him and held him without speaking, both turned towards the sea. Meredith leaned against Yannick’s body, his head resting on his father’s shoulder, he was trembling a little. Yannick held him tighter.   
‘You are safe, it’s going to be all right,’ was all he said to the youngster. He remembered that those were the words he had first said to the little child when he had approached him in the pirate’s room, huddled underneath a table pushing himself against a wall as if he could make it swallow him up and save him from the new comers. Yannick had not managed to coax him out of his corner, he had been obliged to remove the table and forcibly pick up the child to take him away.   
Yannick just stood there, on the terrace, in the cold, holding the tormented adolescent in his arms. Meredith had never spoken about what had happened to him. He had told them he didn’t remember. Yannick knew his nights were often interrupted by nasty nightmares. He had got up every time Meredith had cried out and he had taken the sobbing and trembling child in his arms, sitting down on the bench by the ship’s bow window, gently rocking him back to sleep. Yannick never took the child to his own bed to get him back to sleep, he remembered the terrified look in his eyes when he had carried him to his sleeping quarters after his rescue. He had cursed himself at the time for his lack of sensitivity and had quickly laid him into Charley’s cot. By the time they’d sailed again, Meredith had been given his own cot, next to Charley’s.   
When they arrived in Rosemarkie in August 1814, they found that only one bed was ready to be used, it was in the master’s apartment which included one sitting room, one dressing room and one large bedroom and the 3 of them had slept together in the big bed of the master bedroom. Meredith had not minded, he was exhausted, besides they’d had to share beds before in Posting houses when travelling. They had continued sharing the following night. It had taken only 2 days for 2 rooms to be chosen and cleaned up for the children. The rooms were on the second floor, same as Yannick’s bedroom but further down the corridor. Meredith’s nightmares became rarer as time went on, he sometimes still woke up but the terrors that left him bewildered and lost had abated over the months. Yannick had concluded that it was because Meredith had found the peace he had needed at Rosemarkie; he now wondered if it had just been wishful thinking on his own part.  
‘Were you drawing your nightmares?’ Asked Yannick softly.  
‘Yes. Mr. Croft said it was wrong to draw such things. He said I am sick. Am I sick Papa?’ Meredith had answered in a frightened voice.  
‘No, you are not sick,’ he answered firmly, ‘and Mr. Croft should not have said this to you. I shall talk to him as he needs to see that art is not just drawing pretty flowers or smiling ladies. I did tell him that you were mistreated in childhood. Of course, he does not know what you went through and he does not understand your nightmares, but even without knowing, he should not say these words to you, he should only judge your drawing technics not your subjects, he does not have to like what you draw.’  
‘I wish I remembered. It frightens me that I don’t but that I am still able to draw these pictures, nonetheless. Could I have hurt some children in the past?’ It was said in a trembling voice that wrenched Yannick’s heart.  
‘No, oh God, no, my love, you were the one who was hurt. You lost your family in circumstances I haven’t been able to discover, and you were mistreated by despicable individuals who do not deserve to be called men. The memory of what happened to you is hidden somewhere in the depth of your mind, I think it comes out in your nightmares, and maybe in your art. I don’t know if you will remember one day. When I was a child I was mistreated, and I had a hard time coming to term with it, accepting that it was not my fault and getting on with my life, making my own choices. Maybe it will help if you do remember, the unknown is always so much more frightening, how does one fight against something one does not know. But although I want to help you, unfortunately I don’t possess the key to unlock your mind.’  
‘Who mistreated you?’  
‘My father.’  
‘Did he beat you up?’  
Yannick sighed, not sure how much he should tell Meredith. Then again, he was an adolescent now and maybe telling him what had happened to him might be the key he was looking for to help the lad. He knew that Meredith had been raped and he suspected that the drawings represented this, he had drawn knives piercing his body maybe it was his way of depicting a rape.  
‘Yes, he did beat me up, but that was not the worst. He also raped me.’  
Meredith gasped.  
‘I don’t understand, how is this possible? I thought only women could be raped, and I must admit I don’t really know what it means anyway.’ He admitted lamely.  
‘It means forcing someone to have intimate intercourse against their will. And yes, men and boys can also be raped. You must have seen animals coupling? And of course, anatomy pictures from your Leonardo’s books.’  
Meredith felt himself blush; he was pleased that his father could not see his face. He decided to answer truthfully to him.  
‘Yes, not just animals, actually. Last summer I saw two servants coupling in the woods. I was out drawing by the stream, I did not mean to spy on them, they did not see me and when they started, I was too embarrassed to let them know I was here.’  
‘Was the girl willing?’  
‘Yes, she fumbled in his pants and got his…, you know…, out. It was standing very straight and stiff. The man laid on top of her after that, pushed himself between her thighs and they just moved and moaned.’  
‘So, they made love, coupling their bodies willingly and pleasurably. As you will experience also one day. Rape is also an act of coupling, but it is very different because the one being penetrated is unwilling to be so. It’s a violent desecration of one’s body and soul and men who cannot control themselves and are guilty of it do not deserve to be called men in my opinion.’  
‘I understand what rape means now, but Papa, men do not possess an entry to their body like women do, so how can they be raped?’  
Yannick took a deep breath, was he really having this conversation with his son he wondered, and what else was Meredith going to ask next? At the back of his mind, Yannick feared that the children would one day find and read some of the newspapers articles written about him and ask uncomfortable questions about his behaviour.   
‘The back passage can be used also. This act is called sodomy.’  
‘From the bible town of Sodom, destroyed by God?’  
‘Yes.’  
Meredith remained silent for long minutes, then declared that he was cold and needed a hot drink, so they made their way back to the house without further exchange between them. The young man withdrew to his room and Yannick waited for Charley’s lesson to finish before calling Mr. Croft to his study. The interview did not go well.   
Yannick tried to explain to the tutor his point of view regarding the arts and the need to encourage Meredith’s creativity, but it fell on deaf ears. According to Mr. Croft, the children had not been well educated before he came, they’d had too much freedom, had been allowed to express themselves too much. Meredith drawings were obscene, the boy needed to be punished to curb his evil thoughts. Yannick himself needed to mend his ways according to the tutor, those children needed more discipline before it was too late.   
Mr. Croft took advantage of the situation to lay the blame on the fact that Yannick himself did not show a good example because he did not go to church on Sundays. This was a subject dear to Mr. Croft’s heart, he had objected at the start of his employment as tutor because the children were not compelled to attend church. Yannick had told him he was a freethinker and although he agreed to the children receiving religious education, he would leave them free to choose if they accompanied their tutor and his wife to church or not. Mr. Croft had strongly disagreed but had been reminded by Yannick that he was not obliged to accept the position of tutor and that he was not going to be moved on the subject.   
Now, after a heated Mr. Croft said that nothing but evil could come out of not putting the fear of god in children’s mind, he was pushed out of the study none too gently, told to pack his bags and leave the house with his wife and his belongings immediately. He would be given one-month notice in pay but no reference. Then Yannick closed his door and gave orders not to be disturbed.   
He took the drawings out and examined them more closely. He had only just glanced at them earlier, this time he tried to guess through them what had happened to Meredith. He remembered the pain he had suffered when his father had entered him all those years ago, he understood why Meredith had pictured a knife puncturing his body through and through. He had felt likewise the time. The 3rd drawing caught his attention. He had not noticed it earlier but on this one, the child’s mouth was closed rather than opened in a silent scream like on the other two drawings. This time it was the child’s eyes that were wide open with a terrified look in them. The eyes were looking towards a large knife directed at the child’s mouth. Yannick shivered as he understood what it meant. His father had not forced himself in his mouth, at least he had been spared this abuse. But Meredith had not been so lucky from what he could guess.   
He took the decision to find the children and spend the rest of the day with them, explaining why Mr. Croft had to go and ask them what they wanted to find in a next tutor. Then they would either go for a very long walk or exercise with swords or pistols all afternoon. The idea was to get them to do something with him all day and be very tired at night. A good night sleep he thought, then tomorrow morning he would talk to Meredith again, he wanted the adolescent to know that he would always be listening to him if he needed to talk, at any time and about anything.   
Meredith and Charley chose to go riding rather than walking that afternoon. The weather had been so bad recently, the horses had not exercised, they argued, and Yannick had to admit that they were right. They had started riding lessons as soon as they had settled at Rosemarkie; it had been a new experience for them and they loved it, Charley more so than Meredith.   
Yannick often watched her riding in the meadow at the front of the manor with the groom he employed, and he couldn’t help remembering her mother as he watched, she was so like her on a horse, they had the same mannerisms, the same grace.   
Where was Julia now he mused, back in Italy probably, did she even wonder what had happened to the baby girl she had abandoned? He was still very bitter when he thought of her, deep down he knew that he would never forgive her for the pain she’d caused him, although he had to admit that in fact she did him a huge favour when she left her baby girl behind.


	13. 1804  Julia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1804 love at first sight. Trafalgar - losing one love and finding another

He had fallen head over heels in love with Julia at first sight in Paris, in 1804. She was a beautiful Italian marchioness, with dark hair, and beautiful brown eyes, who had been travelling back to her estate in Tuscany when the peace of Amiens had broken. While breaking her journey in the French capital, an invitation had come for her to attend a ball at Napoleon’s court. She hated the Corsican, but she could not refuse the invitation if she wanted to avoid problems: she was watched by the secret police because she had in the past voiced her opinions about the French Emperor a little too loudly. She had to play at pretending to be happy to be invited to court to stay free of her movements.   
At the reception in the Tuileries palace she had been presented to a very handsome and adulated young naval officer, Yannick Mersac. The captain had fallen under her charm immediately, reserving all her dances despite the obvious disappointment of the other ladies, but with the blessing of the Emperor himself. Towards the end of the evening Napoleon called his captain and the marchioness to him and ordered them to marry: they made a beautiful couple and it was good story, the nobody who rose to be a hero marrying the daughter of a very ancient Italian noble family. More prosaically, it was propaganda and it would secure the marchioness’ estate in the hands of one of his officers. Mersac was overjoyed, the beautiful Julia had stollen his heart; she could not refuse. At least she thought he is a sailor, so he will not be home often.  
The following week they were married. He was not the first man she had lain with. She did not expect him to please her in bed also she had to admit that his goods looks were difficult to ignore. She had intended to just lay still and wait for him to finish. But he had another plan. He kissed and fondled her for a long time before attempting to go any further with her. And of course, he was so devastatingly handsome. She had known pleasure in another man’s arms before and her body found it difficult to resist the gentle caresses and kisses of her gorgeous husband. He drove her to orgasm, and this made her hate him even more. He was in love with her and she determined to use his feelings against him to reach her goal which was to be allowed to return to Tuscany. They stayed in Paris for a few weeks, living a life of parties, riding in the parks and lovemaking at night, but at last he was ordered to join Admiral Villeneuve’s fleet in Toulon and take command of a frigate. Julia easily obtained from her husband the permission to accompany him. He naively believed she wanted to prolong their time together. In fact, in Toulon she used all her charm to convince him to let her go to her estate in Tuscany where, she said, she would be waiting for his return. There was nothing he could refuse her. They parted. He was deeply upset to leave her; she was free at last.  
On 21th of October 1805 Villeneuve’s fleet was defeated at Cape Trafalgar. The combined Franco-Spanish fleet had drifted apart while leaving Cadix and Mersac’s frigate was in Rear-Admiral Dumanoir’s squadron which found itself at the vanguard of the French fleet. Rear-Admiral Dumanoir refused to join the fight against Nelson’s fleet despite Admiral Villeneuve’s orders to do so. Incensed by his commanding officer’s decision, Mersac chose to disobey and followed 2 of the squadron’s ships of the line, l’Intrépide and the Neptuno, which also disobeyed and joined the battle. Unfortunately, his frigate was dismasted and himself severely wounded when they joined the battle. The first lieutenant assessing that all was lost, decided to withdraw from the fight while he still could, and sail back to Cadix with the few other ships which had avoided capture. Yannick remained in Cadix during several weeks; a large shard from the broken mast was imbedded deep into his left shoulder, and he was unconscious for several days, raked by high fever. When he recovered enough, he wrote nearly every day to Julia from Cadix but never received any answer. He imagined the worst for her and as soon as he was well enough, he travelled to Tuscany accompanied by Loïk to discover what had happened.   
She was not at her villa. She had managed to secretly contact anti-French partisans and they had arranged a passage to England for her. She had left him a letter explaining that she had never loved him, but only married him because it would free her of Napoleon’s police scrutiny; as soon as she had the opportunity to leave for England she took it. The letter also informed him that he had a daughter, born on 21st of October and that the baby had been left behind at the villa. She made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with her or him again in the future; the child had not even named.   
Yannick had prepared himself for the worst, or so he had thought. He had imagined that Julia had died which would explain her lack of answer to his letters, but to be discarded so ruthlessly by the woman he loved was not something he had expected at all. He had not expected either how he felt when he held his 4-month-old daughter in his arms for the first time. She immediately smiled at him, she was a lovely baby with dark brown curls and his own emerald-green eyes. There was no possible doubt that she was truly his and the feeling that overwhelmed him then was beyond anything he had ever felt before. This was true unconditional and pure love without any doubt, and from that second, he decided that he was going to bring her up himself, not trusting her to anyone else’s care. This little one was going to grow up happy and loved and he would do his upmost to keep her out of harm’s way.  
Yannick and Loïk left the villa with the baby and her nurse on the next day. A comfortable coach was commandeered from Julia’s coach house, her steward complained loudly at Yannick’s demand for her coach, the marchioness would not like it, he said, she valued her horses and carriages and would object to her coachmen being sent to Paris. Yannick had to resort to threatening the man, drawing his pistol out and aiming for his head. He was not in a mood to suffer fools gladly. Simona, the baby’s Italian nurse, readily agreed to follow Yannick and the baby she had grown attached to, she had no good reason to stay in Italy. She had given birth to her own stillborn daughter shortly before Charlotte’s birth. Simona, a poor village girl, had been rejected by her family and by her sweetheart after falling pregnant outside marriage and therefore Yannick’s proposal offered her an opportunity for what she hoped would be a better life.  
In Paris, Yannick declared the child to the Etat Civil, giving her his mother’s name, Charlotte, and he also divorced his wife for abandoning both her husband and her child. The catholic marriage could not be annulled as far as he knew, but he did not care about this. Let Julia worry about it if she ever wanted to marry again.  
He did not remain long in Paris. He was asked to give evidence of Rear-Admiral Dumanoir’s actions at the battle of Trafalgar by the Ministre de la Marine. He had learnt with undisguised pleasure that Dumanoir had been forced to fight an English squadron on his way back to France after Trafalgar and had been thoroughly defeated. He was now a prisoner of war in England. Yannick’s actions were praised, he was promoted to Rear Admiral and was ordered to take a ship of the line and 2 large frigates to the Ile de France, in the Indian ocean, to create as much havoc as possible to English trade. He knew that this mission was going to take him away from France for years, and as he could not bear the thought of Charlotte growing up far from him, he took the decision to take her on board. The child’s nurse, Simona, agreed to come. So, the adventure started.  
Warships were not meant for carrying passengers. And especially not to be a comfortable and safe place to bring up children. A space was created in Yannick’s quarters for the baby and Simona. Danae’s officers and crew were deeply shocked when they realised that the nurse and the baby were not just visiting the ship but settling in instead. But Charley was a lovely, happy child and she soon conquered them all just as she had conquered Loïk in Italy. As the months and years went by and the ship’s cruise continued, the little girl learned to walk on the evermoving floor, with more than one attentive sailor ready to catch her if she looked like falling. She became their little darling.  
The cruise was successful, many English merchant ships were captured, Charley was always tucked safely below decks with her nurse when the men went to battle station. A room had been arranged for her and Simona in the hold and she knew she was never to leave it until her father or one of his officers came for her. It was a game to her at first, she never saw the blood and the deaths, Yannick made sure she was not brought back up on deck before the worst of the battle scars had been cleared out.  
Year after year, Danae, her father’s ship and squadron, acquired a reputation in the waters where she sailed. Charley’s education was provided by her father and some of his officers. On board, she spoke French with Loïk and with her father’s officers, servants and crew. With Simona, she spoke Italian and with her father she spoke English. At first it had raised a few eyebrows among the men, but they had got used to it, one more singularity from their admiral or one less, they did not mind, he had proved his worth in battle many times and their successful cruise ensured them future prosperity upon their return to France.


	14. December 1815– England

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith: soul searching/reminiscence/arrival at Rosemarkie/

They rode through the meadows up towards the top road, then further on through the fields which levelled out before going down gently to the beach, east of the manor. They had taken the dogs with them; they too were glad of a good run after days of being confined indoors by the rain. It was bitterly cold though and they did not ride the horses in the seawater. It was far too cold to be splashed. The dogs were not so shy, they ran in before shaking themselves vigorously ready for the run back home. In the warm, cosy manor, Tamsin made them delicious hot chocolates and served one of her freshly baked cakes. They talked some more about a new tutor and Yannick reminded them that having no tutor for the moment did not mean no studying. He would supervise their work himself. The day passed pleasantly, and Yannick was glad to see that Meredith’s mood was much lighter than it had been this morning.  
Next morning, while Charley was reading on her own in the library, Yannick found himself alone with Meredith. He did not have to worry about how he was going to get back to the discussion they’d had on the previous day, Meredith told him suddenly:  
‘I remembered some things this morning when I woke up. I know what he did to me,’ Meredith took a deep breath and continued in a hurried nearly desperate tone, ’and I need to know if what the newspapers reported about you is true or not, because if it is, I need to understand how you could have done what is said after your father…well you know…’  
Yannick was stunned. He knew that his face must have turned ashen. He thought the children knew nothing of the articles written about him. Well now he was cornered, he had to explain far more than he had wanted. He caught his breath before answering:  
‘Some of it is true and some is not. I don’t know how much you read, but I will tell you what is true among what was written.’ He cleared his voice,’ it is true that I became the lover of Liberté’s captain to advance my career. What is not true however is that I raped an English lady and that there were orgies on board Danae. I assume you had worked that last one out as a lie as you lived on board Danae and slept in my quarters. I don’t know what else you read. As for your understanding how I could have lain with another man after what my father did to me, well, yesterday we talked about the difference between rape and lovemaking. That was exactly that. In college I fell in love with another pupil, Camille, and he coaxed me to have intercourse with him. I loved and trusted him and I do not regret giving in to him. I enjoyed it; it did not compare with what had happened to me before. Unfortunately, we were caught and expelled from college. I joined the navy at that time because it was the only sensible thing to do; furthermore I had always loved sailing and dreamed of a career at sea. Now, about André, I was 15 and I went to his bed willingly to better my life. I could not stand any longer to be a ship boy, every body’s lackey when I knew that I was better than most of them. I can’t say that I am proud of having sold myself to him, as it really was. But I am not looking for excuses, I do not regret it, I can’t see what else I could have done. I was André’s lover for 4 years and I grew fond of him. I did not love him, but I enjoyed bed play with him. I have little doubt that Mr. Croft has warned you about the evil of intercourse between men, it is punishable by death in England, and leads to damnation if you believe, but it is what I prefer, even though I loved and married Charley’s mother. The only other woman I fell in love with was an English lady who had been travelling on board a ship I captured. She became my mistress at Kamorta; I asked her to come away with me. She refused, we argued, then, and I don’t know why, except that she must have felt threatened somehow, she stabbed me with a pair of scissors. I was shocked, I left her room, bleeding. You probably recall the incident although I did not explain at the time. I swear to you that I did not rape or attempt to rape or hurt her in any way and I don’t understand why this accusation was made. I loved her, and I thought she loved me. I was deeply hurt, I am still. Julia and Alexis were the only 2 women I’ve loved and lay with. I’ve had other male lovers, I am not denying that fact, but not since we left Kediri, and I am not looking for one, certainly not in England.’  
Yannick had spoken calmly while leaning against the windowpane, his eyes never left Meredith’s face. He hoped that he had convinced the adolescent that he was being truthful with him. He also hoped that Meredith would not be disgusted with him or judge him too harshly. He knew adolescents often only saw things in black or white, moreover his reaction could be exacerbated by his painful history. He thought that he could put up with reading disappointment in the young man’s eyes but he was afraid of a worse reaction from him.  
Meredith nodded, ‘I need to be alone,’ he said, and he walked to the door, but as he turned around before leaving the room he looked into his father’s eyes and saw his anguish.  
‘Thank you,’ he said, quietly, and he closed the door behind him leaving Yannick alone with his own demons.  
Meredith went for a walk. The last few weeks of incessant bitterly cold rain had been hard to bear for him. He hated being inside, he felt trapped between walls. It had been far worse on-board Danae of course, although he could count himself lucky to be the Rear-Admiral’s son for he had lived in his father’s large and comfortable quarters and not in the lower decks where the ceilings were even lower than in Yannick’s. Also, because Danae was an older ship, her stern still possessing the old-fashioned open gallery now absent in newest ships, Meredith had been able to spend hours sitting outside watching, dreaming or reading, but generally just content to be left alone to watch the ever-changing colours of the sky and the sea below him. His peace and quiet moments were generally interrupted by Charley when she had had enough of whatever activities she had been doing. Charley was far more often on deck than he was. She even climbed up the rat lines when she managed to escape the watchful eyes of either her father or Loïk. Meredith heard Loïk say once how sad it was that she was born a girl because she would have made a great sailor. Loïk often called her ‘matelotte’. This could not be said of Meredith, he did not like heights for a start and the closed-universe of the ship was not where he wanted to spend the rest of his life. He dreamt of open-spaces, of nature’s ever-changing colours with the seasons, of running in meadows and forests with his dogs.   
His dreams had come true when they had reached Rosemarkie after days on the road. At first sight the place looked glummy; it was a late summer afternoon they had stayed in Falmouth one night before visiting the estate solicitor. Their coachman had followed instructions from the man and turned right after passing a first turning down toward the sea indicating Porthdowns, then a Posting house on his left. He had followed an old neglected path full of ruts and overgrown weeds downhill through dark trees, unkempt bushes and eventually meadows to reach the house. The façade was unfriendly, shutters were closed on every window, the main entrance had a huge dark door reached through a heavy ugly square stone portico. The portico’s only pleasant feature was its stone balcony on the first floor. Their coach stopped and while the driver helped Loïk to unload their luggage Yannick knocked on the front door.   
Hurried footsteps were heard coming from the left end side of the house and a flustered middle-aged woman appeared. She stopped dead at the sight of the group standing by a carriage which was being unloaded. Yannick went forward and introduced himself, he showed her a letter from the solicitor which confirmed that the rightful Lord of the manor was indeed standing before her. She nodded thoughtfully then begged him to wait a little while longer for her husband to open the front door for their party.   
The door opened and a man introducing himself as Simon started to help carry their chests inside. They discovered a large dark and empty reception hall with a staircase on the right. Then Simon explained to the weary travellers that the house contained practically no furniture and that refreshment could be served in the kitchen unless the master wanted the kitchen table carried into the dining room which had not been open for months? The kitchen would do fine, said Yannick, refreshments would be more than welcome though.   
Simon went to see to the coachmen, the carriage and the horses. He told the men that they could come and eat in the kitchen as soon as their betters had finished.   
While he was gone, the family settled around the table of a warm and welcoming kitchen and the woman they had met earlier introduced herself as Tamsin, Simon’s wife; she was soon putting cold meats, bread and cheese on the table. Milk and beer were also served, and the 2 ravenous children tucked into the food with gusto.   
Tamsin explained that only the master bedroom was kept ready for use at any time, but that there was only one large bed in it. She offered the bed she shared with Simon for the children, their bedroom was in a small room next to the kitchen. Yannick asked to see the master bedroom and as the bed was huge he declared that it would do for himself and the children for tonight. He asked if bedding could be improvised by piling on straw and blankets on the floor of one of the other rooms near the kitchen for Loïk and Simona. He translated the words in French for the couple who looked happy with the arrangement. Tamsin was relieved to find out that her new master did not look like someone too fussy.  
The children were soon yarning, and they were sent to bed with a promise from their father that he would not leave them on their own for long. Yannick asked Simon to show him around the rooms downstairs before he too turned in. The solicitor had warned him that the house was empty of furniture and it was starkly true. The rooms were large and dark, none looked appealing in candle light; carpets were worn same as the drawn curtains and the walls were showing traces left by pictures long gone. Yannick guessed that the inside shutters were tightly closed. Only the study situated near the back entrance of the house had some furniture in. There was a large oak desk with a matching chair and another 2 chairs. One wall was fitted with shelves above a large cabinet. Simon explained that the estate steward used the room because the estate books were kept in the cabinet and he updated for the solicitor who supervised the estate accounts. The room smelt pleasantly of wax, it was free of dust and books were piled tidily on the desk. Yannick thought that it boded well for the future, the steward was not a sloppy man, and Simon and Tamsin were also taking their tasks seriously in keeping the used rooms clean and tidy.   
Yannick had thanked Simon, told him that he would look at the books in the morning and went up to bed. As he made his way upstairs, he thought how ironical it was that he was inheriting yet another empty house. When he had returned to France in 1804, Napoléon had given him Térouanne. His father was still in exile without any intention of coming back to France without a legitimate King on the throne so Térouanne was now Yannick’s. He had returned to his childhood home for the first time after a 14 years absence and had found it empty of furniture. Everything that could be stolen had been stolen. He had not lingered there. He had gone to his room and remembering how much he had suffered in it he had drawn out his sabre and lashed out at the wall tapestries, he had broken the shutters and every pane of glass of the windows in a fit of rage, leaving his fists bleeding in the process.   
Then he had gone out to the crypt, on his mother’s tomb. The dark and sinister crypt made him shiver. How she must hate it here, he thought, she deserves to rest elsewhere. So, although he had planned to only stay a few hours in Térouanne, he stayed several days, designing the temple on the hill which would be her tomb, spending time with an artist to draw her likeness from his memory and commissioning a bust for the temple. And, finally, employing a gardener to plant and care for a rose garden with a pergola leading to the temple. He did not know then that it would be another 10 years before he would return to see the finished tomb and that he would be accompanied by his two children. They only went once, and did not stay for long, he had only wanted to visit his mother’s grave. When the war was lost and nasty stories about him started to flood newspapers, Yannick found it unbearable to live in France. Térouanne was not longer his; his father had been re-established as the lawful owner of the estate and he was the last person in the world he wanted to meet.   
Meredith’s walk after his talk to his father in the morning took him all the way down to the sea. The last terrace ended with rocks battered by the waves. There was a small pier and a boat was attached to it. They took it out sometimes to go fishing. Meredith did not fish on-board; he usually had his drawing pad with him and his pastels to capture the land views from the boat. He was tempted to take it out to sea, but because of the weather he concluded that it was not a wise decision, furthermore he was not sure that he could handle her on his own, so he sat down on the pier instead with his legs dangling down towards the sea and he lay back on his elbows, staring at the horizon.  
Meredith had come across some of the articles written about his father by chance in England, in a newspaper discarded in one of the inn they had stayed at on their way to Rosemarkie. He had read the words sodomy and rape without understanding their meaning. It had prayed on his mind, but he had decided against asking his father at the time. Later, Mr. Croft had often mentioned the town of Sodom in the Bible as one root of evil, and therefore Meredith suspected that the word sodomy might have something to do with it and it was better not to risk asking Mr. Croft who would have ordered Meredith to tell where had heard the word in the first place.  
His father’s words had deeply disturbed him but at the same time he had been glad to be spoken to honestly and moreover treated like an adult and not a child who should remain ignorant of such things. He was becoming an adult, he realised, and it frightened him a little. It had been the first time that he had remembered his nightmares, usually he woke up trembling and sobbing without knowing why he was afraid; this time he had remembered enough to draw the images. What was new to his life also was his body changing. He had experienced his first wet dreams recently and that too had disturbed him. He had been ashamed, what was he going to say if someone asked about the messy sheets? Would it be reported to his father, how was he going to react when he found out that Meredith could not control himself? As it was, he needn’t have worried because the subject never came up.   
The events which had unfolded since the previous morning had irremediably changed his life. The drawings had led his father to talk to him about his own suffering in childhood and Meredith guessed that he had done so to help him remember his own ordeal. Of course, his father couldn’t know that by doing so he was explaining words whose meaning Meredith had questioned for over one year. Anyway, his father’s unveiling of his own secrets had helped, this morning Meredith had woken up, remembering what he had suffered in the hands of the pirate chief. He now had to come to terms with these ugly memories.  
He had remembered been torn away from the arms of his screaming mother after their ship had been boarded by pirates. The next thing he remembered was waking up, chained in a room with other children and some young adults. He felt fear and loneliness in his bones just to think about these dreadful moments when he had realised that his mother was not among the other people chained with him in that dreadful crowded place. He remembered crying and whimpering all around him, and men coming in and out looking at him and at the others, prodding the bodies, laughing, talking in tongues he did not understand until one man had picked him up and had taken him on board another ship.  
Meredith marvelled at how clearly, he remembered the events now after so long. He recalled his feelings too, how for a few days, he had thought that his life was going to be better after the ship had landed somewhere and he found himself taken to a house where he was no longer chained; he was well fed, and no one was hurting him. He had even started to hope that his mother would be reunited with him, he was so lonely. But then, hell had begun when a man he learnt later was the pirate chief had appeared. Meredith remembered the unbearable pain when the man had entered his body time and time again. He had been hit as well, hard, the first time he had refused to open his mouth for the man to use him that way too.   
Tears ran down his cheeks, surely it would have been better for this to have stayed buried in his mind, never to come out. What was it his father had said yesterday? That he needed to come to term with what had happened to him so that he could get on with his life. And this morning Papa had told him of his past and of his love life. Meredith had read love stories and poems and dreamed of falling in love with a beautiful girl one day. He remembered his father telling them about falling in love with Charley’s mother and marrying her. He had told them that politics and bad influences had made Julia leave both husband and baby behind. Meredith hoped that his own marriage would be happy ever after. Never had he thought possible that his father could have fallen in love with men also. His father had fallen in love at 15 with a young man at college; Meredith wasn’t sure of how old he was, 13 or 14. He thought he was probably nearer 14, so not much younger than his father had been when in love for the first time and this despite having been violently abused in his childhood, like Meredith.  
Meredith’s rational mind told him that he did not have to understand Yannick’s attraction to men. There were a lot of things Meredith would not understand about life, he was fully aware of this. He knew that his eyes were only attracted by pretty girls when they were out together and that it was when he thought about them in his bed at night that his body reacted. He had come to term with it now. Mr Croft had stressed to him several times in private that it was bad for his health to touch himself and seek lonely pleasures in his bed. It was a shameful activity had said Mr Croft, condemned by the church and by physicians too. Meredith had listened and heeded his tutor’s advice, but how could he control his body when he was asleep? He dared not ask Mr Croft who had told him that in the school where he had taught previously, boys had their hands tied behind their back in bed to prevent them from falling to the lure of depravity.  
The one thing Meredith was totally sure of, was that Yannick loved him as much as if he was his own son and that he would keep him safe. It was the first words he had spoken to him when he had rescued him, and he had been true to his words. He was not going to turn away from the caring loving man he had always called Papa, a man he now knew had suffered in his flesh as much as he had himself and did not deserve to be judged by him because of his preferences in bed.  
Meredith returned to the house. He was feeling much better, a dark cloud had been lifted, he would deal with the future without apprehension. He found Yannick in his study, he read the same anguish in his eyes as he had earlier and wishing to comfort him immediately, he hugged him whispering, ‘thank you, I love you,’ in his ear. Yannick had hugged him back, they held each other tightly for a while before breaking the embrace and looking into each other’s tearful eyes.   
Relief flooded Yannick’s heart, he had been so worried of saying too much, adolescents were so fragile, he might have judged wrongly that Meredith was old enough to hear his story but it was not the case, Meredith still loved him; but it had been a close call, the whole incident made him think that he had to react to the slander. He had thought that to lie low was enough and that it would blow anyway eventually, that people would forget about him, that he would be able to live a peaceful life with Charley and Meredith. He knew now that it was not going to work out like this. The questions he had faced from Meredith sooner or later would also come from Charley; as she grew up, she too could hear stories about her father or come across old pamphlets and newssheets; she would ask answers from him. He wanted to be able to face his daughter and tell her when the time came that he had at least tried to comprehend the hateful rumours. He realised that he might not be able to defend himself publicly against the rape accusation but, if at least he could find out why Alexis had accused him of such an odious crime he would have achieved something and start to understand.  
After deciding what to do about the situation, he ordered to have the carriage harnessed, and told the children, Simona and Loïk that they were going to Falmouth, to spend 2 or 3 days there. Charley and Meredith were delighted, they were ready in a record time and they were able to leave the manor by lunch time.   
When he had bought the building with the warehouse and the shop for his wine import and sale business, Yannick had refurbished the flat situated on the first floor. Rosemarkie Manor was 4 hours away from Falmouth and he had judged it necessary for him to have a place to stay in town when the need arose. It was a large and comfortable flat with 3 bedrooms on the first floor with a pleasant sitting room and a small kitchen and further small bedrooms for servants on the second floor. The family had not been for at least 3 months to Falmouth and the children were excited and treating this as a holiday, they had not stayed in the flat before. They each had a long shopping list, they also needed new clothes fitted, the winter was already severe, and they had outgrown most of their winter wardrobe. Yannick abandoned them in the care of Simona who was given the unenviable task of restraining Charley’s enthusiasm for new things.   
Yannick made his way to Lord Trewin’s house to return the invitation card for the Christmas party. The Admiral was not in, he was received by Lady Amber who did not hide her joy at seeing their friend. After some playful admonitions for staying away for so long, she was eager to find out why Mr. and Mrs. Croft were seen leaving Falmouth on the previous day with all their luggage.  
Yannick explained that he had dismissed them because he disliked how the children were taught and discovered from Lady Amber that, as they were waiting for the stagecoach, Mr. Croft had been telling to whom wanted to hear about the terrible education Mr. Kermor gave his daughter and worst-of-all of the disrespect he showed to the church and God’s teaching. Yannick was not surprised, he asked Lady Amber if she knew of a tutor who could replace Croft. Someone with an open mind, if such a person could be found. He knew it was going to be difficult. The advantage of the Croft had been that the wife was teaching Charley the manners that a young lady should know; dancing he could teach her, but embroidery, music, he could not. And of course, there was drawing and painting as well, for both children. Lady Amber promised her help, she had plenty of connections and was sure that someone, somewhere must know of the ideal tutor for Charley and Meredith.   
Yannick then told Lady Amber that he also needed her husband’s advice on a more delicate and private matter, when would the Admiral be available for a talk? Lady Amber told him that the Admiral was expected back for dinner tonight and would be available after dinner for a chat if he wished, her husband would be alone then. Yannick thanked her, made his excuses, and told her he would be back this evening and he joined his family at the dressmaker’s shop.  
As they were leaving the shop, they found themselves face to face with Thomas and Alicia who were going in themselves. Avoidance was impossible. Yannick acknowledged the couple briefly and they made their way to the coffee-house for refreshment. If Alicia was offended by the rather cold acknowledgment bow her husband and her received from Mr Kermor, she did not show it. As they were being served, Thomas and Alicia also appeared at the coffee-house. They settled at a nearby table. Charley and Meredith were busy describing the different cakes they had ordered to Loïk and Simona. The faithful servants hardly ever went to Falmouth, they did not feel at ease in England yet, they spoke some English but not sufficiently to feel comfortable entering a coffee-house on their own. Charley and Meredith were only too pleased to help them choose their cakes. They were totally oblivious to the looks they got from the other well-to-do customers who found unusual to have servants at their master’s table for one thing, but also to hear the children discuss the cakes in a mix of French, Italian and English. Their fluency in all 3 languages was obvious to all who could hear them translate from one language to the other, arguing about the best translation and so forth. The other highly unusual attitude was their behaviour towards their father, they were talking with him with ease, asking questions, teasing each other, with none of the stiffness upper class children generally acted with adults.  
Because Mersac had not showed himself in Falmouth since their last conversation, Thomas had been able to put the man at the back of his mind, but this chance meeting at the coffee-room was making him very uncomfortable. He could not shake off the feeling that he had been terribly unfair to the Frenchman, the only words he had heard about him had been words of praise for the good he had brought to the people on his estate and Admiral Trewin, he knew, held him in high esteem. Thomas thoughts drifted inevitably to Hadrian as he was not able now to think of one without also thinking about the other; he had not heard from Hadrian since their last talk and he did not like it. He reasoned that he could not have stopped him going to France anyway because Mersac’s whereabouts were not known to him before Hadrian had departed, but several months had gone by and he did not understand the lack of letters from his friend unless something had happened to him abroad.  
He was brought back to reality by Alicia who was gently tapping his sleeve. Thomas looked at her and realised guiltily that she had been speaking to him, she rolled her eyes and repeated herself once more, she murmured to her husband that she hoped their offspring would be as delightful as were Mr. Kermor’s. Thomas mumbled his agreement, he had known that Mersac was a father, now he knew that he was clearly a good one. The impression of having made a mistake he’d had after their talk came back to him with a vengeance.   
After dining out with the children, Simona and Loïk, Yannick left them to return to the flat while he went to pay a call to Admiral Trewin.  
The Admiral’s butler welcomed him and led him to the smoke room where the Admiral was enjoying his after-dinner Port as usual. He was warmly welcomed by the older man and offered a glass.  
‘I must say, I am much intrigued by the message you gave my wife, a private and delicate matter? I admit that I have no idea what it could mean, I have not heard the slightest gossip which could indicate that you could have put some young thing in trouble for example,’ said the Admiral.  
Yannick smiled, ‘That’s because I haven’t, my Lord, I have done nothing reprehensible since I came to Falmouth, I assure you.’  
‘I see, good, very good, and before you came to Falmouth?’  
‘Before, I led a very different life and there are things I want cleared up which is why I seek your help. I must stress that I do not want to get involved in anything against the law at all. I am requiring the services of someone who could investigate some matters for me. I know you know a great deal of people both in Cornwall and in London and I wondered if you could recommend someone. The man will need to have good reliable contacts. Again, I assure you that although I want the investigations to be carried out in secret, I don’t want the law to be broken.’  
‘How mysterious indeed. Well I do have some contacts in London who could help you finding a good investigator. Could this mission be dangerous for the man? And how much are you prepared to pay?’  
‘I don’t expect any danger, no, and the matters I want to find concern me, I don’t intend to discover secrets about other people’s lives. Regarding the pay, I’ll pay whatever he asks but I will want results.’  
‘All right, leave it with me, I’ll arrange for someone to contact you when a suitable man is found.’  
‘Thank you. I wish I could tell you more now, and I will, I promise, you deserve to know, but give me a little bit more time please, I’ve had a few difficult months lately and I need a break.’  
Lord Trewin nodded his head in assent. He had noticed changes in his friend tonight, Amber had told him she had found him looking tired, thinner and with an overwhelming sadness about him despite his efforts to hide it with smiles that were nowhere as brilliant as she remembered. Also, his absence from Falmouth since the assembly ball had surprised both her and her husband. They had concluded that maybe something had happened at the ball to upset their friend and keep him away, but they did not have a clue as to what it was.   
After she told her husband of Kermor’s request to meet him for a private and delicate matter, Richard had concluded that maybe he had fallen in love that night, and probably for a married woman or a girl far too young for him. There had been pretty women that evening at the ball, including a newcomer, Captain Adams’s wife, Alicia. They had talked about it throughout dinner, Amber did not believe it and Richard was hoping that he was wrong.  
After Kermor had departed, Amber was quick to re-join her husband to find out more. She was at the same time relieved that no woman was involved and frustrated because no more was unveiled, in fact she now suspected that this man they had thought at first to be an ordinary, honest, hard-working soul was probably another being altogether. He had secrets; they were sure of it. After all he had always cleverly avoided questions regarding his whereabouts before settling in Cornwall  
‘Can you help him out?’  
‘Yes, I know who to ask, a man who used to be a Bow street runner but was dismissed after a mysterious incident which was kept quiet by the magistrate. I know of him because he helped one my officers who found himself accused of a crime he did not commit. I will find his address and send it to Kermor.’  
‘I am glad you can help him, I don’t believe that Ian can be a bad person, I am good at judging people as you know, whatever his problem is I trust you will not regret helping him out.’


	15. 1815 Anne-Laure/Valentin – London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a visit from cousins from oversea sow doubts in Valentin's mind. Louis takes a decision

Valentin did not see his daughter again for several months after they returned to London. He made several trips back and forth to Paris where he was most welcome at Court and enjoyed the company of his peers. Anna did not always accompany him her French was nearly non-existent, so she was rather bored in society. She visited Anne-Laure quite frequently in London and she tried to find out the reason for the younger woman’s coldness towards her father, but Anne-Laure had politely told her that it concerned her mother and the past and she‘d rather not speak of it.   
It had come across Anne-Laure’s mind that Louis might also have suffered from their father’s unnatural attentions, but thinking about it and comparing Louis’s relationship with Valentin with Jean-Baptiste’s, she concluded that he had not. Louis had always been a happy boy, obviously fond of his father, seeking his company, something Jean-Baptiste never had. She was only 10 when they were separated but she did remember the summers they spent together before their mother’s death. Jean-Baptiste used to be more and more sulky as the days of their parents’ arrival loomed and she had not understood why at the time. It was all too painfully clear now.  
Alexander had not mentioned her brother again, but she knew he disapproved her decision not to write. On bad days, she regretted that decision but never enough to change her mind and besides, in the spring of 1815, Napoléon escaped and returned to France and King Louis ran to exile once more, effectively making her mind up for her.   
It was a terrible nightmare for Valentin who immediately thought that he was going to lose the income from his French estate again. Anna’s business was still doing well but, she had started to question his heavy expenses lately on the pretext that Louis was in greater need of money than Valentin. He had not worried because the estate lands were good for farming and money had come in. And, of course Anna had no looking into that money. He had never been faithful to Anna, enjoying the company of less virtuous women and he kept a mistress in Paris and one in London to satisfy his needs. Lucky for him Napoléon was thoroughly beaten at Waterloo on 18th of June 1815 and following the final surrender of the French Emperor on 15th July 1815, the Bourbon dynasty was re-established.  
For Anne-Laure, the months went by without her meeting her father again until she received an official invitation to come to his house for a family reunion and to meet relatives from overseas.  
Her grandmother, Amélie, mother of Pierre de Mersac from her first bed and of Valentin from her second, had an elder brother, Auguste, born in 1712, who became a planter in Martinique after marrying the heiress of a large plantation in 1742. Auguste was now dead, but his children had decided to make the trip to Europe to visit and meet their cousins; the war had stopped them from travelling before. His 2 sons were both of an age with Valentin, one was a widower, Auguste, who came with his son, the other, Hubert, brought his wife and their unmarried daughter, Désirée, his own son had remained in Martinique.  
Anne-Laure couldn’t possibly refuse the invitation. Besides, she was looking forward to meeting them. They had found accommodation in London and sent a letter to Valentin to arrange a date when they could visit him and his family. Valentin had asked Louis to come down from Oxford for the occasion. So, on the set date, Anne-Laure, Alexander, Maximilian and Angela turned up at Valentin and Anna’s mansion ready for the overseas visitors.  
Valentin welcomed his cousins with a large smile, he was proud of his London mansion (Anna’s inheritance) and of his children. Anne-Laure was married to a Lord and Louis was a handsome and brilliant student at Oxford. It was the first time he was meeting his cousins, but his smile suddenly froze on his lips when he peered into cousin Auguste’s unmistakably emerald green eyes.   
Just like Jean-Baptiste’s. How was this possible?   
This was a nightmare, it couldn’t be right, his mind tried to work a way around the problem, but the facts remained starkly clear: cousin Auguste was his cousin on his mother’s side because his father Auguste was his mother’s brother. He clearly remembered his mother: Amélie had been blond with blue eyes and the only other pair of eyes like Jean-Baptiste’s he had ever seen before were Pierre de Mersac’s, Amélie’s first born son from a first bed. Valentin had always thought that they were therefore inherited from Pierre’s father. But Auguste was not related to Pierre-Louis de Mersac at all. His mind could not take it in. It got worse when Hubert’s daughter, Désirée, greeted him because she also had lovely green eyes.   
‘How is it possible,’ he suddenly blurted out, ’how can there be green eyes in our side of the family?’  
If Auguste and Hubert were surprised by the question, they did not show it. Auguste was not expecting this as a first greeting sentence from the cousin he had never met before and he did not of course understand Valentin’s stunned expression. But he replied:  
‘I inherited grand-mama’s eyes. She was a green-eyed, black hair beauty who unfortunately died when she gave birth to her third child. Father told me that grand-Papa was besotted with her and he never remarried. I remember when I was a child how much he had wished that his daughter Amélie had inherited her mother’s looks instead of his own. He was very fair, with blue eyes, much like you. I see your own children have inherited your looks. My son has his mother’s brown eyes, only Hubert’s daughter, my niece, has my colouring.’  
Valentin felt dizzy and quite unwell. He knew he had to play the host to his relatives, make light conversation, share memories of Amélie with his cousins who had only heard of their aunt through their father, but he was not sure he could manage it successfully.  
Anne-Laure has noticed her father’s discomfort and she could guess the reason quite easily. It was probably dawning on him that Charlotte had never betrayed him after all, and that Jean-Baptiste was truly his son.   
She could not help commenting her father’s questions and Auguste’s explanations, the opportunity to upset her father further was too good to pass over:  
‘I don’t know why you are so surprised, father, after all Jean-Baptiste has also inherited the dark hair green eyes looks from Grandma’s side of the family!’ said Anne-Laure, smiling.   
‘Who is Jean-Baptiste?’ asked Louis, innocently, he had decided to enter his sister’s play. He was frustrated since the visit to Térouanne because he had not managed to gather more information on his elusive half-brother other than the horrid articles written in newssheets and pamphlets. Anne-Laure turned around to face Louis and said,   
‘Why, he is my elder brother, Louis, your half-brother, have you never heard father talk about him?’  
‘Enough,’ shouted Valentin, ‘I will not have him mentioned in my house or in my presence.’  
Louis was stunned like everyone else in the room. His father had nearly screamed, he was livid and there was so much anger written on his face that Louis preferred not to pursue. Anne-Laure let it go too. She had achieved a small victory, and she felt smug about it. The room was quiet for a while with an uneasy feeling in the air, until Anna, always the perfect hostess stirred the conversation to a light, harmless subject and the awkward moment passed.   
Anne-Laure’s thoughts returned to her brother; she had not thought of him recently but her cousins’ presence and the pleasant conversation, sharing stories of ancestors and a family she had not known brought painfully to her the loss she had suffered when her father had taken her out of France. She did not doubt that it had been for her own safety, but she realised now that he had also callously abandoned his son at college when they had left. He could have taken him with them to England. She had questioned him at the time because she was loathed to leave without her beloved brother, and he had told her there was no time and besides, he was safe where he was. She guessed after reading her aunt’s letters that it had been a lie. He had meant to leave him behind, to get rid of him.   
Looking at her father’s bewildered expression now, she felt that maybe there was justice somewhere in this life after all and she hoped that his past disgusting behaviour towards the boy he now knew was his son would torment him to his last days.   
Louis who had also seen his father’s unease without knowing why, had been shocked by his reaction at the mention of Jean-Baptiste. It was so unexpected to have him losing his usual self-assured composure. He had seen him angry before, quite often in fact, but never looking shocked and slightly shaking with it. Still, Anna had thankfully intervened and his father did manage to regain his composure and the rest of the visit went smoothly. The cousins left, and a date was arranged for a further visit, this time at Anne-Laure and Alexander’s house.   
Louis decided to pay his sister and her husband a visit himself, before the arranged date. He had some questions and thought that they would be able to answer them. When he called, Anne-Laure was out, but he knew that he could speak freely with Alexander. He wanted to talk about Mersac. Ever since Alexander had revealed that he was the half-brother of the Rear-Admiral, Louis had been thinking about it.   
Louis had loved knowing a family secret. He had a vivid imagination, he loved reading and wanted to be a writer himself. He would write romantic novels and poems and become the toast of the ladies in good society, like Lord Byron, no less, well without the scandals of course, he did not want to upset his dear mama. To discover that the sulphurous Mersac was his half-brother had excited him, but he had managed to put it at the back of his mind after he had found out. His first year at Oxford was keeping him busy and away from London for most of the time so the opportunity to talk again with Alexander did not present itself before the overseas cousins’ visit.   
Alexander agreed to tell Louis what he knew, warning him that he knew very little in fact. He did not tell Louis of the abuse his father had committed in his youth against his young son, but he could explain why Valentin had been so shocked at discovering that green eyes ran in his side of the family: he had hated Jean-Baptiste all his life because he did not believe him to be his son and was now discovering his probable mistake. Louis asked for the solicitor’s address in Paris. Alexander hesitated, Anne-Laure was not going to like it if Louis wrote to Jean-Baptiste, but then again Louis was an adult now and he had the right to take his own decisions and to contact his half-brother if he so wished, so he gave him the solicitor’s address.


	16. Christmas time at Falmouth 1815

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memories of past lovers – a soirée in Falmouth, meeting Thomas again - -

Yannick went alone to Falmouth to attend Lord and Lady Trewin’s Christmas party. He had celebrated Christmas and Boxing day with the children and had promised that he would only be away for one night. He had been busy since their visit in town in early December because Lady Trewin had given him the names of some people she knew could put him in touch with a new tutor for the children. He had been writing letters but so far the profiles he had received did not fully meet his approval. He wanted to get it right this time and it was proving more difficult that he had thought. He had not heard from the Admiral on the other matter he had discussed with him and was getting a little impatient although of course he had known all along that finding the right man could take a while. At least, his mind had been fully occupied and he did not have too much time to think of Hadrian. But in the carriage which took him to Falmouth, he let his mind wander back to his conversation with Meredith and it brought back memories of his past male lovers.   
Camille would always have a special place in his heart. He was his first love and he was the one who had shown him that sexual intercourse could be other than the dreadful painful act he had endured with his father. After returning to France in 1804, he had tried to find Camille and traced his family’s whereabout. But Camille had not survived the revolution, he had been swept in the tide of hatred and violence and had ended his short life in the war after coming home. Camille had joined the royalist army in Vendée and had been captured and executed for fighting against the Republican army.   
At college, the 2 young men had not talked about politics much. Yannick had kept for himself his views that the system which did not give men a chance to better themselves in life because of their low birth was unfair and rather at odds with the Christian teaching if one would look at the Bible carefully. Camille had not agreed with him apparently and must have had strong views on the matter if he had chosen to fight and die for the King.  
Yannick had felt guilty when he had found out, if Camille and himself had not been thrown out of college, Camille’s life might have been spared, although of course there were no guarantees, Camille had been due to leave college in the summer of 1794 and would probably have joined the Royalist army anyway, their paths would have separated because Yannick had another 3 years of college ahead of him.  
He became André’s lover out of the necessity he had to better his situation on board Liberté. He had thought about other ways to improve his life, but had not found another option opened to him, so he had made his final decision coldly without feelings, knowing full well what he was exposing himself to, or at least he had thought so at the time, experience taught him otherwise. He had sold his body with his eyes wide open, convincing himself that it was just a tool to gain advancement and freedom eventually, or so he hoped. He persuaded himself that he had not sold his soul, that he remained in control of his inner self. He had never totally surrendered his body to André, although he had come to enjoy their love making, he had always held back, never abandoned himself completely to the pleasure that André had given him. André knew, he was sure of it, but he had respected him, he was so totally obsessed with him. Yannick had grown more and more handsome as the years had passed and André could not get enough of his body.  
Yannick did not have the luxury of mourning his lover after the battle that killed André. The first lieutenant and his cronies had been lusting for him for years as well as hating the young man who they knew was so much better than they were. So as soon as Liberté had been cleared up after the battle and before André was buried at sea, they had thrown Yannick across André’s desk in his cabin and had raped him in turn. Yannick did not know how many had defiled his body, he had lost consciousness after 5 or was it 6? He did not remember, he did not want to remember, the extreme pain, the shame, the fear. He had regained consciousness on board the English ship, with Loïk near him, caring for him and appraising him of their dire situation. How he had managed to stand up, he would never know, but he did stand up and he took control, of his ship and of his life.  
Yannick led a chaste life after that and up to his marriage to Julia. She had been his first experience in the arms of a woman and he had enjoyed it. He had loved her and was faithful to her. But she broke his heart when she abandoned him and after he divorced her, he did not replace her in his bed. Besides, he now shared his sleeping quarters with the baby daughter he adored. He had not been able to stop his eyes linger sometimes a little too long on handsome half-naked sailors on deck, but he knew they were out-of-bound, no secret could exist for long on a ship-of-war, especially not for an Admiral, always watched. Even in the luxury of his own quarters he was hardly ever alone, servants or officers were always within ear-shot, so he resorted to occasional silent solitary pleasures when the need was too much to bear.  
In India, he settled his little squadron on an island. He had found the island by chance after a bad storm had pushed the ships out of their route to the Isle de France and the rajah who had been wary of the foreigners at first, had come to realise that Yannick was no threat to him and had no intention of controlling his little kingdom. The 2 men became friends, the rajah was old and wise, and he quickly found out that having Yannick’s squadron staying could bring advantages. His coasts were no longer attacked by the pirates’ fleet which caused so much havoc in the past to his island and the neighbouring ones. Yannick had led a raid on the pirates’ lair and put an end to their attacks, the pirates had all been killed or captured to be executed by the rajah. And Yannick had saved Meredith from his awful fate and adopted him.  
To celebrate the victory over the pirates, the rajah held a lavish feast for his French guests. Refined exotic food and drink were served to Yannick and his officers who comfortably reclined on cushions and enjoyed the fare as much as the spectacle offered to them. The atmosphere was sultry, with incense burning and sensual half-naked dancers and musicians performing for the guests. The girls were lavishly dancing and provoking the men with their eyes and bodies and as the evening progressed, they did not hesitate to go to the officers who were watching them insistently to lead them away from the banquet hall.  
Yannick had looked on with amusement, his men needed and deserved the entertainments after months and months at sea, and he was not going to be a spoilt sport. He himself had not been attracted to the girls although he did enjoy the spectacle; his eyes had often drifted towards the rajah’s personal guards instead. To two of them more precisely; they were obviously twin brothers and he could not decide which one was the handsomest, both were tall and strongly built with long hair, blacker than his own and beautiful black eyes enhanced with kohl. They were standing one on each side of the rajah, protecting their ruler. Their chests were naked, he could admire their well-defined muscles, their lovely brown skin shining in the candle lights. He quickly realised that the whole atmosphere was getting more and more heady, probably because of the scent coming out of the burning incense and the sweet but deceptively strong wines he was drinking. Come to think of it, his glass always seemed to be full, thanks to the servant attending his needs. He still had enough wit about him to know that he had to return to his bedroom if he did not want to risk embarrassing himself with his body’s too obvious desire for the 2 gorgeous guards. He swayed a little when he stood up but managed to walk to the rajah thanking him for a lovely evening and asking to be excused. The rajah’s eyes were smiling mischievously as he wished his guest goodnight.   
Yannick had been given sumptuous rooms for him and his entourage to use when his ship was in harbour. His private set of rooms included a bathroom with a large sunken round bath made of white marble. He took his clothes off and went down the steps to lay in the warm water among the flower petals floating on the surface. He had not been in the water for very long when the door of the bathroom opened.   
He was immediately embarrassed because he had been stroking himself in the water and he had not heard someone entering his apartment: his first horrified thought was that Charley had difficulties sleeping and was coming to him. His eyes widened when he saw the 2 guards he had been watching most of the evening entering the room.  
They made their way quietly to the bath, took off what scant clothing they wore and joined him in the water. One of the guards kneeled in front of him and pulled him towards him, making him kneel while the other man slid behind him and started to gently wash his back with a sponge. Yannick found himself unable to resist their touch. He had been dreaming about them just a few minutes ago after all. The guard in front of him started suckling one of his nipples and one of his hand took over from Yannick’s own on his hard cock while the other one was lightly squeezing his balls. Behind him the sponge had now reached his lower back, parting his cheeks, seeking to clean his intimacy. He leaned his head back against the man’s shoulder and moaned, eyes half-closed, ready for them to continue their ministrations.  
In the morning, Yannick woke up alone in his bed. For a few minutes he wondered if the hazy memory of the night’s events was real or if he had dreamt it, it did not last, his body told him it was no dream. He still felt the presence of his 2 lovers inside him and the feeling was wonderful. They had taken him in turn several times that night, covering his helpless body with kisses and light bites, making him reach his climax more times than he had thought was possible in one night. He had felt like a puppet in their arms, letting them control his limbs, shifting his position and controlling him totally with their mouths and their cocks. And he had loved every second of it, realizing that they had given him what he had always been yearning for. André’s love-making had been very basic. He had enjoyed taking Yannick while the young man was either lying on his stomach, bending over or kneeling on his hands and knees. He had not sought to hurt him but had never been gentle either and he had never kissed him. This was oh so different, and Yannick knew that he would want more of it.  
The rajah asked him smilingly if he had had trouble sleeping because of the dark circles under his eyes and when Yannick blushed, he let out a loud laugh. His 2 guards would be attending him whenever he wished said the rajah, that was not much reward for all the services Yannick was rendering his kingdom. Yannick thanked him and accepted this extra gift gratefully; the rajah had already gifted him and his officers with some very beautiful and valuables uncut gems.   
Yannick welcomed the twins to his bed often when Danae was not at sea. His flag-captain, Maxence Dujardin and Loïk disapproved and told him that his officers were also uncomfortable knowing that their admiral was bedding the 2 Indians regularly. Maxence objected that he was forgetting his mission in the area. Danae was kept in port rather than chasing English ships ‘Because you can’t get out of your bed,’ had shouted Maxence. Yannick’s response was to remind him that his private life was none of his business. It had been his first serious argument with Maxence. Yannick had pushed him out of his room, furious that his captain dared criticizing him. He felt guilty though because he knew deep down that Maxence was right about Danae not performing her mission at sea and he got her out of port a few days later to renew her cruising. In between cruises, he continued dallying happily with the 2 men for several months.   
He was still very much puzzled as to why he had been so irresistibly attracted to Hadrian in the first place, he was handsome for sure, but Yannick had needed more than good looks to entice him to bed in the past. He had lain with Camille for love, and with André for interest. He had also lain with the guards for lust but only because at the time his will had been greatly impaired by too much wine and probably drugs, not in cold blood, well not the first night anyway. He chose not to dwell on his story with Alexis, he had loved her and enjoyed making love to her, but after her betrayal he had sworn he’d never trust his heart to a woman again. Then he had met Hadrian. When he had provoked the English captain to join him in his bedroom, he had been totally sober and had done so despite knowing that the man was an English officer and that giving himself to him could be called treachery. He had felt a raw burning desire for this man such as one he had never experienced before, and he had acted upon it. He had no doubt whatsoever, that he would do so again if his path crossed Hadrian’s once more. He smiled remembering acting on his desire despite his doubts about him, that the other man could have pretended interest to approach and kill him; he had therefore left a loaded pistol on a chair by his door and had hidden two daggers under his pillow. Hadrian’s actions had quickly dispelled his doubts….Thinking rationally about it, Thomas was probably right to keep them apart, a relationship with Hadrian could spell disaster for both if Hadrian felt as he did.   
Lord and Lady Trewin’s Christmas soirée was a relatively intimate affair with only about 15 guests. Yannick was surprised to see Thomas and Alicia Adams there because they were newcomers in the area, and he thought the Trewins had only invited close friends to their Christmas season party. But, thinking about it, he himself had only met them under 2 years ago and had quickly been included in their close-friends circle. The guests and their hosts enjoyed a drink before dinner was called and Yannick found himself placed between Lady Amber and Alicia. He had noticed that Thomas had slightly stiffened when he saw his wife seating next to the Frenchman and Yannick’s resolution to find a way to clear his name of the rape accusation became stronger than ever. The conversation was pleasant all through the dinner, the assembly was made of cultured and agreeable people who all knew each other and appreciated each other’s company. Yannick knew that it was not the case for at least one of them, he himself could not deny that Thomas was a good man and that they could probably have been friends without the heavy secret lying between them.   
After dinner the ladies retired and left the gentlemen to their Port, an English tradition that Yannick himself deplored. He much preferred mixed company after dinner in the French way. The talks between men generally turned to politics or to social matters or betting and Yannick had to keep his opinions neutral at all costs. He never disclosed his republican ideals of course because if he did it would probably close all doors to him for ever. He had not yet met an English man who did not support his King. He had been a little wary of Thomas all evening, asking himself if Thomas was not going to lay some trap for him with awkward questions or remarks intended to hurt him. But he did not, and Yannick was quite relieved when the Admiral got up and suggested that they re-joined the ladies in the drawing-room. Lord Trewin let the other men enter the room ahead of him, signalling to Yannick that he should hold back.   
‘I have found what you were seeking, he is staying at the Red Lion now, I told him you would visit in the morning, you have not changed your mind I take it?’  
‘No, not at all, I am grateful, thank you, I will see him, and I will keep you informed.’  
On entering the room, Yannick felt Thomas’s eyes on him, he had seen the quiet, short exchange between the 2 men, and he must be wondering what it was that they did not wish to share with the company. Yannick was saved from further suspicion from Thomas by Lady Amber who exclaimed:  
‘So, you have told him, Ian I do hope you will find this person to be who you are looking for, she is an original lady, to be sure, very independent, something most gentlemen will find distasteful, but her knowledge is vast, and she is also a true artist, I will let you have her address before you leave tonight.’  
Yannick beamed at her, it seemed that things were moving at last after months of procrastination and that maybe his life was going to take a turn for the better.   
The evening continued very pleasantly, with light, amusing conversation, Yannick explained that he had been looking for a new tutor to replace Mr. Croft and that Lord and Lady Trewin had kindly offered their help. One of the guests, Mrs. Pascoe, who had been boldened by too many glasses of wine, asked if some of the rumours told by Mrs. Croft were true and that Yannick taught fencing to his daughter same as his son. Yannick smiled at her and confirmed the truth of the matter.  
‘My daughter has always been an extremely lively child, she needs to spend her energy in physical pursuits, if she did not, I fear she would be uncontrollable; she showed interest in sword fighting when I started instructing her brother and I couldn’t see the harm in teaching her also. After all, the moves and stands give her a graceful and elegant posture, similar to the one she would get with dancing lessons I suppose.’  
‘Well maybe so, but her future husband might prefer her to be proficient at dancing don’t you think?’  
‘Dear Mrs. Pascoe, she is only 10 years old, plenty of time to learn how to dance, I reckon.’  
‘Besides,’ interrupted Lady Amber, ‘I am to start giving her dancing lessons myself, the lady I found who could be a suitable tutor does not dance, I’m afraid.’  
‘I will contact her as early as tomorrow; you said, Lady Amber, that as well as being a scholar she is an artist and open minded, this is most important for my son, he loves drawing and painting above all else.’  
‘I heard,’ said Mrs. Pascoe, ‘that he draws the most disturbing things and that you encourage him, is this true also or is it gossip.’  
Yannick took it upon himself not to answer sharply that it was none of her business, but he remembered that the Croft had gossiped about his family and that he needed to set the record straight, so he answered pleasantly.  
‘The Croft were useless tutors; they did not understand Meredith’s sensitivity and did not take his painful childhood history into account although I had told them to. I told them that I adopted Meredith when he was around 5-year-old and that he had been mistreated. He could not speak for months after I rescued him, his nights were disturbed by dreadful nightmares. Recently he managed to come to term with these by drawing them and it has helped him a great deal. He sleeps much better now, but Mr. Croft called Meredith’s drawings the result of a perverse mind. He was too stupid to see that the only perverse mind was his own who saw something other than a desperate cry for help from a distraught child. Meredith is intelligent, kind, talented and honest and I am proud to call him my son.’  
Yannick had not meant to say so many words, but he had felt the need for them to know the truth. His words would be repeated, and he hoped the slur that the Crofts had distilled on his family would be remembered as slander without substance. Thomas looked surprised by his words and he couldn’t help asking:  
‘Where did you rescue Meredith from? It must be what? 7, 8 years ago?’  
‘In India, some place, I forgot the name exactly,’ Yannick lied; of course, he knew damn well where he rescued Meredith from, and he guessed that Thomas knew he was lying.  
‘And your daughter accepted him without problem when you returned to Europe, did she not resent you returning with another child? I saw you together at the coffee-house the other day, they looked very close, as real brother and sister, I could never have imagined that they were not.’  
‘Charlotte was 3 when I found Meredith and she was not brought up in Europe, she travelled with me to India. This is the reason why I know my children so well, I brought them up, you see, tutored them myself, they were always close to me. The rewards of knowing your children and seeing them grow by your side are the best ones one can have, I believe.’  
Thomas was too astonished to say anymore. He was a sailor, had spent years at sea and knew what life on-board a ship-of-the-line was like. The other guests probably imagined that Mr. Kermor had travelled with the children in the comfort of a ship of the East India Company and then had all lived on-land in one of England’s foreign trading posts, but Thomas knew better, and what he just found out put new questions and doubts in his mind.   
He thought of all the nasty articles written about this man, and once more they did not tally with what he was learning now. He had doubted before, Mersac’s cruise had been highly successful for 8 years, a very long time for a ship to avoid capture in waters where English vessels ruled the waves. He had always been one step ahead of them. This sort of achievement could not have succeeded if the commanding officer had spent his nights in orgies with his sailors as gossips pretended. And now Thomas was finding out that 2 young children were living on-board. Now why hadn’t the newssheets mentioned this? Surely it was so extraordinary that it was worth talking about, even if for vilifying the Frenchman even more. The truth lit up suddenly in Thomas’s mind: it was because they did not know about the children and probably did not know either about any of the other things they reported.   
Thomas, lost in his thoughts, did not realise that the conversation had widened, men and women were talking about their children, their education, Mersac was answering when questions were directed to him, but he did not give his opinions after some strong views were expressed by some of the guests. He clearly did not wish to antagonize his hosts’ friends. Thomas wished he could talk to him one on one, there was so much he wanted to ask; he cursed his stupidity, this intelligent and sensitive man had not deserved to be treated by him the way he had been, Thomas was now sure of it, he needed to think of a way to make up for his behaviour.  
Next day, Yannick woke up and felt happier than he had done for a long time. He had the address for a promising tutor, he was going to meet a man who could help him resolve a mystery and Thomas had looked at him in a much kinder way than he had ever done before. His handshake when they had parted last night had been strong and his smile genuine.   
He was expected at the Red Lion at lunch, had said the Admiral, and he made sure he was on time. He did not know what the man looked like nor his name. He entered and asked for a quiet table for luncheon with a friend and the bartender told him his friend had arrived, and he was led to a table in a corner, with a good view of who was in the room, on the left was a fireplace and on the right a door, no other table close enough to risk being overheard. A dark-haired man got up and smiled holding out his hand to Yannick, he was around ten years younger than him, of smaller built and without any look of softness about him. His face was plain but his dark eyes were bright and alert. His handshake was firm, as Yannick had expected. They ordered food and drinks and Yannick asked him how he knew the Admiral.  
‘Oh, a friend of a friend, ’he said, ‘a Lord magistrate at Bow street, I worked as a runner for 8 years until an unfortunate incident forced me to quit my employment. I now offer my services to resolve private matters. You must understand though, sir, that I will not partake in crime or murder.’  
‘Nothing like that I assure you. But I need your word that this matter will stay private.’  
‘All right, but I am expensive, did the Admiral tell you?’  
‘I told him money was no problem. I shall pay whatever you want, if you get results, I shall double the sum.’  
‘You must be keen for results then.’  
‘I am.’  
They agreed to a price, plus expenses, the man’s name was Robert Fellows, Yannick was a good judge of character and the man looked trustworthy to him. The Bow Street Runners had a good reputation even if they were not now the only company upholding the Law in the land. He did not ask what the incident was, he did not like to pry, if Lord Trewin trusted the man, it was good enough for him, he himself was not going to tell him the whole story.  
‘I better tell you what I want. After the war, newspapers and pamphlets wrote articles relating to Rear-Admiral Mersac’s misconduct during the war, more specifically, they alleged that he raped an English lady, Lady Alexis Alconbury. I want to find out who informed the papers of these events. I know the source of the first articles written is in France, and I am not asking you to spend time on those, I am mostly interested in the Lady’s story which was reported in England. Do you think you can investigate this for me, I don’t have to tell you, I think, that this should be kept between you and me, but I understand that you could need help, simply I am asking that you do not mention my name to anyone’  
Robert Fellowes did not hide his surprise. This was by far the most unusual mission he had been asked to perform. He hesitated a minute, wondering who he knew who could help him and how to start. He was dying to know why this English gentleman was interested in this story to the point of paying such a lot of money to have his answer. After all these gossips were old news by now. Yannick read the hesitation and wonder in the man’s face, he had expected this kind of reaction, he just hoped that he was not going to turn him down.  
‘Well, I would never have guessed that you were going to ask for this, that’s for sure. I have done research into slander and gossip before, so I am familiar with this sort of things. I gladly accept to carry out this investigation for you. Will you want a regular report on my progression or only when I have something to tell you?’  
‘No need for a regular report, take your time, find out who was behind the articles and why it was done if possible; I am sorry I can’t tell you anything about my motives for the time being, I realise that you would like to know; when the investigation is over, maybe, I’ll see.’  
Fellowes nodded, Yannick handed him his card for further contact and a hefty purse containing the first instalment of his pay. Then the 2 men shook hands and parted company.  
After returning home on the same day, Yannick wrote to Miss Abigail Leary, the tutor recommended by Lady Amber. He liked the idea of having a scholarly woman teaching his children, women normally could only pretend to be governess and teach children the basics reading/writing skills they needed until boys went to school or had a male tutor. He felt that it would be good for them; Charley and Meredith loved Simona very much, but they had now grown up too much for the care of a nurse-maid, and also Simona was now married to Loïk and Yannick knew that she hoped to start her own family now that their life style was not so chaotic as it had been. A woman’s influence in their lives would be good for them. So, he wrote to her immediately, telling him of his children’s unusual background and hoping that she would be interested to meet them. He was persuaded that if she did meet them then she would accept the post.  
One week later, a tall, handsome woman aged around 40 turned up at Rosemarkie and asked to be received. Yannick liked her immediately and so did Charley and Meredith. She asked to speak to the children alone and Yannick left them to it. After nearly 2 hours, she knocked at his study door and told him that she was ready to discuss the conditions of her employment. Yannick was delighted. He realised of course that he had not in fact interviewed her at all, but one look at the children’s eyes when he told them that Miss Abigail Leary was staying told him that there was no need. The choice had been reciprocated.  
Miss Leary was most pleased with the set of rooms Yannick put at her disposal. For the first time since starting as a tutor, she was given a drawing-room and a bedroom with a dressing cabinet en-suite. Contrary to the Crofts who had servants bringing them their meals in their rooms, she chose to share hers with the family as Yannick invited her to. This was new too; she had been made to eat with the servants in her prior employments. She had left her last 2 postings quickly and without references, Yannick had chosen not to ask her why she had done so. He would trust her and make his own mind up about the woman.  
Two weeks after her arrival, Yannick rode to Falmouth to report on Lady Amber and thank her for her help. She was pleased to know that her friend has settled at Rosemarkie.   
‘How did you come across her,’ Yannick asked, he knew Lord and Lady Trewin had no children and he did not think that tutors and governesses were conversation topics with their friends.  
‘We went to school together, got on well and kept in touch. She was not attracted to marriage, she wanted to study and teach, her family disapproved, but she did not give up, refusing all the suitors she was presented until her family got fed up with her and left her to live her life as she wished. But it has not been easy, they stopped her allowance and some of her employments were unhappy. But I knew she would be fine with you, and quite safe.’  
‘Safe?’ Yannick lifted his eyebrows in surprise, it was not the adjective he would have thought of. Of course the lady would be safe in his house ….  
‘Well yes, she’s had to fight unwanted advances and leave abruptly in at least 2 occasions, but I knew this would not happen at your house. My dear friend, beside the point that I know you deeply respect women, it is my belief that it is not a woman that you prefer for warming your bed.’  
Yannick caught his breath in surprise. Amber had spoken with her usual light tone and her eyes were smiling as she delivered her words. She laughed at seeing his expression and at leaving him speechless.   
‘And how long is it since you’ve suspected?’ he asked, there was no way he was going to deny and lie to her.  
‘Probably right from our first meeting I suppose. You did not flirt with me for a start. Most men do, especially when meeting a young woman married to a much older man. Most men I meet persuade themselves that I married Richard for his title and his money but looks for fun elsewhere. They are wrong of course, I married Richard because I love him.’  
‘So you expected me to flirt or make advances to you.’  
‘Of course, you are unattached and devastatingly handsome. Handsome men are generally so full of themselves, they always think they’ll manage to get their way in the end. Unless…’ she did not finish her sentence,   
‘And have you told his Lordship of your clever deductions?’  
‘Do you really think that my husband would have risked leaving you alone with me so often if he didn’t suspect? He trusts me to be sure, but then again, your looks are something else!’ she laughed again, and he thought it was the most wonderful sound he had heard for a very long time. He took a minute to regain his composure and think, then said:  
‘I owe you the truth. I told your husband that I would tell him about the investigation I asked Mr. Fellowes to carry out for me. I will tell you when you are both free to hear me out.’  
‘Richard is in his study; do you wish him to join us now?’  
Yannick assented. He had flutters in his stomach, what if he had judged wrongly and the truth be too much for them. After all he had been lying to them right from the beginning. Amber left the room and returned with her husband a few minutes later. A servant appeared bringing a tray with glasses and bottles of Port and Brandy. Yannick smiled ruefully, he was going to need this, so he gratefully accepted a large brandy and drank half of it before he spoke.  
‘I have asked Robert Fellowes to enquire into the origin of the rumours regarding Lady Alexis Alconbury’s rape allegations.’  
He stopped a minute to give them time to recall the incident. Amber frowned and immediately exclaimed:  
‘Really? But why are those rumours interesting you to the point of spending a lot of money to find out? Do you know the Lady?’  
‘Yes, I do. Very well in fact,’ he paused a few seconds, ‘these rumours have affected my life badly because I am directly concerned by the allegations.’  
Amber frowned, she was puzzled, Yannick followed Richards’s thoughts on his face, first the surprise, then the slow understanding, he nodded thoughtfully and said:  
‘It all falls into place, and of course it explains Thomas’s coldness towards you; I couldn’t work it out, you were so friendly with him at the assembly ball, I could not see why you did not become friends and even less why you stopped coming to Falmouth for several months afterwards. You were avoiding Thomas because he knows who you really are. You met him at Kediri, in India.’ Yannick could only nod.  
‘Yes, I am grateful to him to have kept my identity secret. I promised to keep out of his way in exchange for his silence and something else I can’t tell you about.’  
‘I shan’t press you for more personal details;’ Richard gave him a beaming smile, ‘there are so many other things I want to talk to you about! You have no idea how pleased I am that you are who you are, and honoured that you call me a friend, and as for the stories about you, you don’t have to explain, you can talk to me whenever you wish or not. I hope Fellows gets answers for you and that your name is cleared of that unsavoury accusation at least! I suspect it is your aim,‘ with these words, Lord Trewin turned to his wife and added:  
‘My dear Amber, let me introduce you to Rear-Admiral Mersac.’  
Amber’s eyes opened wide and for once she was speechless. Her head was suddenly full of all the stories she had heard about Mersac and she found it overwhelming to reconcile what she’d heard with the friend facing her now.  
Richard was eager to know details of Yannick’s Indian ocean cruise and the younger man was glad to answer. Yannick realised that he had sorely missed talking of naval matters with another sailor. Loïk had lived the adventure with him and he had never questioned the strategic choices Yannick had made anyway.   
Conversing with Richard brought him back to a time when he had the responsibility of hundreds of men living on 3 ships at the end of the world, where wrong decisions could mean death, or years of captivity at worse, life and wealth at best. He had returned to Europe in January 1814 with his flag ship, Danae. The 2 large frigates of his squadron had remained in the Indian ocean, cruising around the Seychelles Islands, the only islands not to have fallen to the English navy. The frigates were only 10 years old when he had left Brest, they were fast ships in good condition and could continue cruising without too many risks of being captured, still making good catches of merchant shipping. It was a very different situation for Danae, she was already an old ship when she had left France in 1806, and had needed some urgent repairs. France had by now lost all of its ports in India. Danae was now far too slow; she could not compete any longer and had become an easy prey which could endanger his frigates if they remained together. Yannick had decided to take her back to France, stopping in an Indonesian port on the way to at least get the hull cleaned of the worst of its barnacles and other material which were slowing her down. This had been the reason for their extended stay in Kediri in Indonesia.   
The rajah of Kediri was an independent man who had not been bothered by his Dutch conquerors, he did not know whether or not France and Holland were still allied but, he did not care much anyway, he had accepted to harbour Danae because Yannick had agreed to pay the outrageous sum of money he had demanded., Danae had stayed in dry docks during several weeks. The refitting had only just been over when an English squadron had showed up in the harbour. Yannick counted himself lucky because if she had not been floating again and with her stores replenished, he would not have stood a chance of escaping whatsoever. After their now famed escape from Sir Philip’s squadron, he chose to sail crossing the Pacific Ocean, taking the longest route to avoid British shipping.   
Richard was very interested to learn all this, he had wondered why the Flag-ship of the French squadron had returned to France without the frigates, he asked if it was as heavily loaded with riches as the rumours had said and Yannick’s mischievous chuckles answered better than words.   
‘Still, we haven’t lost it all, after all, you seem to be spending all your loot in England!’ he exclaimed, laughing. Yannick shook his head sadly and reminded the English admiral that French sailors did not receive prize money; he admitted to buying quite a lot of precious stones though as well as being given quite a lot as personal gift by his friend the rajah of Kamorta.   
He had intended to return to Rosemarkie this same day but realised that it was already getting dark and caution told him to stay at his place above his shop. He had also drunk quite a fair amount of Port. Richard also had seen the sky darkening and suggested that Yannick stayed for dinner with them and use a guest room for the night. Yannick agreed readily; he was enjoying himself for the first time since arriving in Falmouth without the need of worrying about saying something which could jeopardize his life here.


	17. February/March 1816

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a surprise letter,

In February 1816, the post delivered a package from Yannick’s solicitor in London. It held the letters and documents people had wanted to forward to him and had put in the care of his French solicitor. Yannick had worked out a way for receiving mails sent to him without his new address and identity disclosed. Maître Dubois sent a parcel every month or so to Lady Henrietta’s English solicitor in London who forwarded it in turn to Yannick in Cornwall. Maître Dubois, in France, had promised Yannick that he would never disclose the address of the English solicitor to anyone and Yannick trusted him. The English solicitor, Mr Lincoln, had agreed with his client never to reveal his true identity.  
Mr Lincoln had been lady Henrietta’s will executor after her death in February 1814. According to the instructions she had formulated in 1805, he had sent the package containing a letter from her ladyship with the deeds of property of the Rosemarkie estate to Maître Dubois to forward to Jean-Baptiste de Courcelles. It had pained Mr. Lincoln deeply not to be able to tell Lady Anne-Laure that Lady Henrietta had made other arrangements in favour of her nephew after the young woman had expressed her surprise that her brother had not been included in their aunt’s will.  
Mr Lincoln had not understood why Lady Henrietta had insisted that her niece should not be told when her will was read. Lady Henrietta had wanted to protect her nephew from his father, she had said, and Lady Anne-Laure was very close to her father. It still did not make sense to him, the duke of Térouanne had no power to contest lady Henrietta’s decision to put the deeds of Rosemarkie in his son’s name. Mr Lincoln had nevertheless sworn to respect her wishes; he was after all used to the singularity of the lady’s unconventional way of life.  
The usual documents that Yannick received included letters from his steward at Mersac keeping him informed of the administration of his properties, including the French side of his wine and brandy export/import business. Although he hated using the name of Courcelles, he had been forced to use it; he had inherited the estate of Mersac as Jean-Baptiste de Courcelles, Marquis de Térouanne and he had to produce invoices from his supposed French négociant to prove that he imported wine and brandy legally. It was better to keep things legal and transparent although he was well-aware that it was a weak link. Some clever investigator could easily find out that Mr. de Courcelles was also Comte de Mersac. At least no one had questioned why Mr. Kermor in Cornwall had chosen to import to England the wine and brandy sold by Mr de Courcelles, they were good clarets, but they were not very well known.  
Monsieur Vincent, the Mersac estate manager had told Yannick when he had visited in 1814 that his uncle Pierre had in fact moved in Queen Marie-Antoinette’s close circle of friends at court; the queen was very fond of his wines and brandy, the old man had said, Unfortunately it had meant that Mersac wine had been shunned after the queen’s fall and the cellars were now full of unsold casks. Yannick had seen this as an advantage: the wine had matured nicely and he would endeavour to sell it in England now that the war was over.  
The parcel also contained letters from friends and well-wishers. His officers were the friends who wrote to him occasionally. Maxence Dujardin, his Flag-Captain on-board Danae wrote once or twice a year and Yannick never failed to answer. Maxence had retired from the navy. He was 10 years older than Yannick, he was now living a quiet life with his wife. She had given him a son and was expecting again. Yannick was pleased for them and hoped that the parcel he received this day brought good news.  
Maxence had had a bad time after the war, his abilities had been questioned, politicians had tried to make him acknowledge the stories in the articles and he had steadfastly refused. He had been tainted by them in reward for his loyalty to his Admiral and friend; there had been suggestions that he must have known, approved and maybe even participate in the nightly perversions of Mersac.  
Yannick had often regretted listening to the friends who had advised him to lie low when the first article was published rather than writing back to defend himself. In their opinion it would only lead to an escalation of the accusations against him and his life would be made miserable. It would soon fizzle out, they said. He had agreed with them but had taken the decision to leave France when he found their lies unbearable, right after the rape story came out.  
Despite his silence, the articles had continued appearing in pamphlets, weeks after weeks and they had also been printed in England. He was angry and bitter, and his fighting spirit rebelled against his decision not to strike back. He had only agreed because he knew it would be best for the children to settle somewhere where they did not risk being bothered because of who their father was.  
But his talk with Meredith had made him change this view somehow which was why he was employing Robert Fellowes to find out who was behind the hate-campaign. He wanted to strike back efficiently. He had not heard from the man yet, but it was only just over one month since they’d met, he could be patient, he had waited nearly 2 years already.  
The parcel did contain a letter from Maxence informing him of the birth of his new son, he also informed him that he had heard that an Englishman was asking questions about him trying to find out where he lived. The other documents were routine reports and letters from his steward but there was also one which drew his attention because the writing was unknown to him. Curious, he opened it before the steward’s letters and was glad he had been sitting down when he did so.  
Dear Rear-Admiral,  
I hope you will read this letter although we have never met, and that you most probably do not even know of my existence. And yet we are related. I only found out last year, by chance, that you are my half-brother. It was made clear to me by our father that I was not to ask questions about you. This did not suit me at all. I wanted to write to you then but did not know where to address my letter.  
Unfortunately, I had to wait for nearly one year before I could talk heart to heart with the only person in my family who could help me contact you. This person is our brother-in-law, Lord Alexander Durfield, our sister Anne-Laure’s husband. He gave me your solicitor’s address. I wish I could tell you that Anne-Laure wanted to write to you also, but I know from Alexander that she is not ready yet and does not know I am writing to you.  
Alexander told me you had a strong disagreement with our father without telling me anymore. I hope you will not hold this fight between the both of you against me and also that you will forgive me for being the son of the woman who took your mother’s place at your father’s side. He never told me of your existence, let alone who you were. I don’t even know if Mama knows about you, I did not dare ask her.  
Know that I am proud to be your brother, I would like to get to know you, I hope you will write to me, I will write again, I do not know where you are and maybe it will take months before I hear, but I will write again and again until maybe one day you will take it upon yourself to answer my letters.  
Yours truly,  
Louis de Courcelles  
Yannick read the letter again and again. He had heard that his father had remarried but not that there had been a child. Louis had enclosed his address; he was studying at Oxford University and that was the address he gave. The letter gave him hope; he was discovering that Lord Durfield might be an unexpected ally, if he could prove to Anne-Laure that the rape and orgies charges were false then maybe she would accept to see him again.  
He was not going to reply to Louis’s letter.  
He was going to find him in Oxford and meet him face to face.  
Maxence’s information that an Englishman was looking for him intrigued him. He wondered if the man was not Robert Fellows, maybe wanting to hear Mersac’s version of the rape allegation. He thought that he had probably been too cautious and that by not telling the man who he was he had made him waste his time. Well it was something to work out later, first he wanted to meet his young half-brother. He felt since unburdening himself to Richard and Amber that his life was going in the right direction and that he needed to make some moves now. Louis’s letter gave him the encouragement he needed, his fear of being hurt was receding, he was thinking that he was now in a better frame of mind to cope with rejection if it came.  
In March 1816 Thomas received a much-awaited letter from Hadrian.  
Hadrian’s letter was apologizing for his long silence and keeping him informed of all the events which had changed his life in the last 6 months. He had gone to France as intended and had spent a very frustrating time there. He had been made to wait for days for a first appointment at the Ministère de la Marine and then had been pushed around day after day from one service to the next, without being able to collect any useful information at all regarding Mersac’s whereabout. He was angry, frustrated and had had to put up with arrogant officers or smarmy clerks who made him hang around for weeks. He had managed to get the address of Capitaine Maxence Dujardin and had planned to visit him but Dujardin lived in the south of France and Hadrian had not been able to visit him because he had received startling news from England which required his immediate attention.  
Hadrian was the younger son of Lord Vernon. At the age of 16 he had been found in a very compromising position with a groom by his father and elder brother and his father had, thanks to his numerous relations, found him a berth as a midshipman on-board a ship-of-the-line. Lord Vernon had counted on the hardship of naval life to straighten his son out. Hadrian’s older brother had just married the daughter of a Duke and he insisted with his parents that his shameful younger brother must never enter their house again. Lord Vernon agreed with his son and heir and even went a step further: he stopped Hadrian’s allowance and forbid him to contact any member of his family again. The discontinuation of the allowance caused a great deal of hardship to Hadrian but regarding the other thing, he could not care a less. There was no love lost in that family. He had nothing in common with his brother and he had disliked his brother’s wife at first sight. She was just like his mother, a snob, caring only for herself. Hadrian had to wait many years before his financial situation improved. He climbed the ladder up to post-captain rank thanks to his daring courage and intelligence. Success at sea meant good prize money and he was now quite comfortable, thanks to the clever investments he made with his gains.  
But the letter he received from his agent in London and which only just reached him before his departure for the south of France completely turned his life upside down.  
The letter informed him of the tragic accidental death of his father Lord Vernon who had been returning by coach to London after a visit at their country house for a hunting party. Lord Vernon’s coach had been swept up by a flood while crossing a bridge and all the occupants of the coach had died. Hadrian’s older brother and heir to the title as well as his 2 young sons had also perished in the accident.  
Hadrian was now the new Lord Vernon. He was required to return to London immediately to take charge of the funeral arrangements and the estate.  
When his father’s Will was read out, his meanness was made obvious to all. He had left no allowance at all for Hadrian, not that it mattered now anyway, but he had also only left 1000 pounds a year to his wife. His brother’s will was not much better for his descendants, his wife could retrieve her dowry but no more. No provisions had been made for their surviving daughter.  
When Hadrian saw his mother again, 20 years had passed since he had been thrown out of the house. He remembered clearly her cold eyes when she had stood by her husband, approving the sentence given out to their son. He had gone to her spontaneously and she had put her hands up in front of her, stopping all physical contact with him, with a look of unforgiveness in her hard eyes.  
As she now moved towards him with extended arms, he stopped her in her tracks in the same way. He too could be unforgiving as she was about to find out. He told her and his sister-in-law to have their maids pack their things now because they were not coming back to the house after the funeral. He wanted them gone for ever from his house and his estate. The 2 women were stunned, they begged to be given a few days to make arrangements to stay with friends, he refused, warned them that if they did not comply with his wishes, he would have servants turning them out.  
Hadrian had thought that he could clear the estate affairs quickly but had been very mistaken. First there was the nightmare of the death duties to be paid, then he discovered that his father did not trust his steward and dealt with a lot of the business himself. Hadrian was faced with piles of files to sieve through and he had no experience at all in estate management. So, he got on with the task, discovering that the finances were not good. Too much money had come out in hunting parties, balls and dinner parties, also huge amount of pocket money had disappeared, most likely in gambling. The spending in clothes was abysmal, and not just for his mother. There were 2 houses, one in London and one in the country and their upkeep was taking a lot of the revenue coming in from the farms.  
Decisions had to be made, and quickly, he needed help, the steward was a lazy man, devoted to his father as he remembered so he had to find another. All these problems took time to sort out and it was only now, 3 months after becoming Lord Vernon that he was able to think of things other than farms, stocks, building repairs etc. and he finally took the time he needed to write to his oldest and most loyal friend.  
Thomas felt deeply ashamed when he read Hadrian’s words calling him his most loyal friend because he knew he had not acted with loyalty towards him since arriving in Falmouth. Hadrian hinted in his letter that he was thinking of coming to visit Thomas and his wife soon, keen that he was of seeing friendly faces at last.  
Thomas decided that he had to talk to Mersac, tell him the truth about how Hadrian felt about him and warning him of his possible impending visit. He rode to Rosemarkie as soon as the weather permitted him to do so only to find out that Mr. Kermor was away and had not given his household a return date.  
Yannick had waited until March to travel to Oxford. The winter was particularly long and cold, but he thought that with spring coming and the days lengthening he could get to Oxford safely. He left the children in the care of Miss Leary, Loïk and Simona, explaining to them that he would be away for some time for business and that he could not take them with him.  
He did not tell them that he was going to meet his brother and he’d rather be on his own to do so. It was the first time he parted from them since coming to England. In the past he had not always taken them with him on some expeditions after he had found a safe place of anchorage in Kamorta. The rajah had given him luxury rooms in his palace and the children had been happy there with the loyal Simona always on hand to look after them.  
Yannick chose to travel by stagecoach, taking his own coach would mean leaving the children without transport and he did not like the idea. He also would have needed at least 2 coachmen and one valet for it would have been unseemly for a gentleman to travel in his own coach but without a servant. He wanted instead to travel light and discreetly. He decided that when he returned, he would buy a phaeton which was far less cumbersome and much quicker than a coach, he couldn’t think why he had not done it before now.  
He secured a place inside the coach, took a book with him and concentrated on it, intending to signal clearly that he did not wish to engage in conversation with his fellow travellers. It worked most of the time, and after 9 days of gruelling travelling he finally arrived in Oxford on Saturday night; he found an inn near the college his brother was studying at and decided to wait until the next day before seeking out Louis.  
The cold weather made his shoulder’s old wound painful and he now had backache as well. Several times on the journey he had cursed himself for not hiring a post-chaise and resolved not to make the same mistake again on the way back. It was going to cost him a fortune, but he did not care, he’d had no idea how bad and uncomfortable the stagecoaches and the roads were going to be especially at this time of the year.  
The next day, late afternoon, he walked to Louis’s lodgings. It was in a private residence, he knocked and was allowed access to a large reception room by the housekeeper; the house was shared by 6 young gentlemen he was told. They each had their own bedroom of course. A housekeeper and 2 servants worked at the premises and the young gentlemen also had their own servants looking after them. The housekeeper told him that Mr. de Courcelles was not in but that he always called in before going out to dinner so if the gentleman wished he could wait for him. Yannick thanked the woman and settled by the window with a paper, waiting for Louis to turn up.  
Soon enough 3 young men walked in, the housekeeper went to the fair attractive one and handed him a card. The young man looked at it and frowned, the name Kermor obviously did not ring any bells and he wondered what the stranger wanted. As he approached, Yannick got up, hoping to be welcomed. The young man approached with searching looks on his face, and before Yannick had time to say anything, he read surprise and hope in Louis’s eyes and the words came out:  
‘Am I wrong to think that you might be my brother?’  
‘No, you’re not. I hope you don’t mind; I preferred a visit to letter writing, maybe you would have liked a slower pace to our getting acquainted.’  
‘Goodness, no, this is so much better! I have so many questions, letters would take for ever. Shall we go out to dinner? I can take you somewhere quiet where we will be able to converse in peace.’  
Yannick readily agreed. Louis’s friendly attitude had immediately brushed away any apprehension he’d had. Louis told his friends he was no longer free tonight and after going to his room to get changed he came back out and they left together.  
Time flew, there was so much to talk about. Louis had spoken to Alexander again before writing his letter and asked him what he knew about Yannick’s naval career. To find that Alexander admired Yannick had impressed Louis. Louis had spent hours on his letter to him. He had not wanted to scare his brother away or make him think that he wanted something from him either. He hoped that Yannick’s reply letter, if one came at all, would not bring disappointment. He was glad that Yannick had not told him beforehand of his intention to visit. He knew he would have been in awe of his new-found brother if he ‘d had time to think about meeting him. As it was, he was his normal self if a little more excited. He was quickly put at ease by Yannick’s simple manners and charismatic charm.  
They talked about their lives, their family with its history, of Louis’s visit to Térouanne, of the overseas cousins’ visit to London and of Louis guessing who Yannick was because his looks had been talked about with the cousins. Louis found himself asking delicate questions and receiving honest answers in return, although when it came to the subject of Yannick’s relationship with their father, the sexual abuse was not mentioned. Yannick simply told Louis that his father had always been cold towards him and that he had abandoned him in France during the revolution. He knew that as a staunched royalist the duke had taken very badly the fact that his elder son fought in the French Imperial navy. Yannick did not offer further explanations and Louis looked satisfied. They lost track of time and at the end they were the last customers left in the restaurant; they parted company outside, but not without arranging to meet again on the next day.  
Louis did not turn up for his lectures on the next day, he chose to spend it with Yannick instead. When they parted late that night, they both felt that they had established a connection which would now last for the rest of their lives.  
Louis had naturally asked about the allegations in the newspapers and Yannick had answered truthfully, telling him about Camille and André, as he had already told Meredith. He told him the rape allegations were untrue, he admitted that he’d had other male lovers without giving him details. Louis had not seemed shocked, in fact he had laughed and told Yannick that one of his 2 friends had asked if he could set him up with him, impressed that he was by the handsome stranger waiting for Louis at the residence.  
‘Just say the word,’ said Louis, ‘and I will, he is quite a dish!’  
Yannick laughed and declined the offer, relieved though that Louis wasn’t in the least bothered by the revelation of his preference for men in his bed. Yannick insisted that the rape allegations were untrue though. He told him the story of what had really happened at Kamorta.  
He had captured the East Indiaman and met Lady Alexis Alconbury who was travelling on the ship late in 1812. She was on her way to join her husband who had a diplomatic post in mainland India. Yannick had asked the rajah of Kamorta to give her accommodation while she was on the island.  
Yannick had had his own accommodation in the palace at Kamorta since he had arrived and became friend with the rajah. He also had 2 lovers there, the twin guards the rajah had sent to his room one night after a reception. It had been a long time since Yannick had shared his bed with another man, André had been his last, he did not count the horrific rape he had been the victim of after André’s death. He had tried hard not to dwell on this dreadful experience too much, to get over it by getting on with his life in the same way than he had after his father had abused him in his childhood. He very much enjoyed his sexual intercourses with the 2 guards. Yannick’s past experiences were basic at best, the 2 guards were good teachers in bed-play, they were sensual and knowledgeable in all the refined Indian ways of exquisitely pleasuring his body. He had found it quite intoxicating and it had led him to spend far more time in bed with them than he should have done. It had caused frictions with his officers who thought he was being used by the rajah who liked having Danae in his port for the safety it provided. After a while his head had finally ruled his body once more and he had heeded Maxence’s warnings at last.  
Thankfully, he had never used the pipes filled with opium that his lovers had several times proposed to him, he knew the dangers, he had always kept at the back of his mind the thought that his children needed him to remain clear headed. He resumed his cruises in the Indian waters and although he still enjoyed his lovers’ company every time he returned to Kamorta, he no longer spent as many nights as before in bed with them.  
A turning point came when he met Lady Alconbury. He felt an immediate attraction to the lovely honey blond woman who became his prisoner and he started to discreetly court her. She was only the second woman he had been attracted to, the first one being Julia, the mother of his daughter.  
Lady Alexis received his attentions coldly at first, but he was really the only person, she could have an interesting conversation with in English so she accepted his presence. She had tired of the company of the East Indiaman’s officers and of Mr and Mrs Bird with whom she had travelled with since London.  
Her marriage was not a love match, it had been arranged by their families; Lord Alconbury wanted a beautiful wife with a large dowry to parade in front of his friends and Alexis brought him what he wanted. She had accepted the union because as the first-born daughter of a man who had made his money in trade and had only recently been made a baronet, her marriage would open to her the door of the drawing rooms of the old aristocracy. She also had 3 sisters and 2 brothers and each one aspired to marry into the aristocracy as well. To find themselves in-laws of Lord Alconbury, was going to help make their way into the world. Her husband was a proud man, he had not accepted the marriage easily because of her ancestors in trade, but her huge dowry had finally swayed him to accept. She had quickly found out though that if her husband was attentive to his reputation in society, he was not so attentive to his wife in private. He ignored her at best, at worst he never failed to criticize her friends, her clothes and her family at the exception of her elder brother, Sidney.  
Little by little Alexis found herself more and more drawn to the Frenchman. Not only was he very handsome and cultured, but he looked genuinely interested by her. He was courting her respectfully, keeping careful distances between them, clearly taking his time to seduce her. And it worked, soon she thought of him most of the time, and started to flirt with him when alone with him. Then one night she let him kiss her. And she was lost, she could not resist his gentleness, the way he cared for her own pleasure, taking his time with her to get her to discover that such a thing as climax existed. She had not known that laying with a man could be other than an act to put up with because it was a woman’s duty to do so, that her body could reach this incredible peak of pleasure, leaving her utterly undone and contented in her lover’s arms afterwards.  
He professed to be in love with her and she was happy to believe him, she was in love too, wishing that time could stop and this romance last forever. She appreciated his discretion, the way he was careful to join her in her room, making sure no-one suspected their relationship. Her maid knew, of course, there weren’t many things a lady could hide from her maid. Her disapproval was obvious, but she kept her place and said nothing.  
But time was not on their side. He knew that his stay at Kamorta could not last much longer now, there were more and more English ships present in the Indian Ocean, his 2 frigates were cruising in the west of the Ocean, near the Seychelles, they were going to remain there, a token of France’s presence in the area and protecting the only French territories left. He did not have many choices open to him he had to return to France with old Danae and secure its loot. One ship sailing on its own and not on the usual route might just make it back. All was lost in India for France anyway so better try to get home now before the situation worsened even more.  
Furthermore, Danae’s hull needed to be cleaned and it could not be done on the island, there were no docking facilities which could cater for a ship as large as she was. He had found out after talking to French merchant seamen who knew the area that Kediri, in Indonesia, had a dry dock. It was a long way to the East; Kediri was a Dutch territory but without any Dutch representative in place and he thought it was his best bet. Of course, being in Indonesia it meant Danae was going East instead of West to return to Europe and so he decided that he may as well risk crossing the Pacific Ocean once his ship was ready and come back to Europe through Cape Horn.  
He had a long consultation with Maxence and his officers, wishing to know their opinion and was glad to see that they agreed wholeheartedly with him. Preparations to make way were made.  
His only remaining problem was Alexis. He loved her and did not want to part with her. On the eve of Danae casting off from Kamorta, he asked her to leave with him. They would go back to Europe together and live as man and wife, first on-board Danae, then in France. They were in love, nothing else mattered, he promised to stand by her forever, no matter what. Alexis could not think of letting him go and she agreed. He would come to her in the morning to take her on-board. He then returned to his ship to prepare for the first step of their journey home.  
In the morning Yannick went to Alexis’s rooms only to be refused entry by her maid who stood firmly by the door. Yannick, annoyed, pushed her aside and entered anyway. Alexis was in the bedroom, by her dressing table, in her housecoat. Frowning Yannick asked her why she was not ready and if she could explain her maid’s attitude. Alexis told him that she had changed her mind, it was all a mistake, she said. She could not betray her husband, country and family on a whim. Yannick was stunned, then he was angry. To hear her call their love affair a whim got his hackles up. How could she treat him so lightly after all the passionate nights they’d spent together? He strode towards her, she read how cross he was on his face and panicked. Feeling threatened she picked up a pair of small scissors from the dressing table and stabbed him in the neck.  
Yannick stepped back, shocked, blood gushing from his neck. Alexis stood there too, frozen, realising what she’s done to her lover. He turned around and rushed out, passing the maid on his way out.  
As it was Yannick was lucky, the small scissors just missed his carotid artery. But there was a lot of bleeding and he passed several astonished people in the corridors on his way to his waiting boat. The maid had screamed so it had also drawn the attention of the officers of the east Indiaman who were also housed in the palace. He did not care though. His pain was intense, his neck of course but more so his heart. Alexis had broken his heart; over the next few days he thought ruefully that loving women was really too complicated for him, it was the second time a woman he loved had betrayed him and he swore that there was never going to be a third time. He kept this last thought for himself though and did not share it with Louis.  
He then continued his story to his younger brother telling him of his stopover at Kediri, omitting to mention Hadrian, because that was an adventure he was not ready to share with anyone. If this story ever came out, he would not be the source of the gossip. It amused him though to think that although he had been accused of dreadful acts he had not committed, the worst one, one that he had truly committed was never told: he had surrendered his body to an English officer in time of war, he was guilty of sodomy and treason, now that would have sold more pamphlets than all the other stories put together!  
Louis and Yannick spent one last evening together before Yannick had to leave and make his way back to Falmouth. They separated with a little sadness but with a promise from each other to meet again. Yannick invited Louis to come and spend time at Rosemarkie and meet his children. Louis was overjoyed and accepted the invitation.


	18. Spring 1816

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new beginning

Next morning Yannick found himself travelling back to Falmouth in the post-chaise he had rented. The weather was as cold as ever, it did not seem that spring was only just around the corner really and he was smothered in blankets and furs in the small carriage which, all being well, should take him home much quicker than for the outward journey.   
The first 2/3 of the journey went without an itch except that the weather was far from improving. When they reached Honiton, they still had enough light to travel 15 miles further to the next posting station but his postilion, smelling the air, advised Yannick to stop now for the night. He told him that he could smell snow and was worried in case they got stuck somewhere on the road. Yannick agreed readily, he trusted the man’s instinct, he was not reckless, he did not care if his journey took half a day longer than expected as long as he was safe.   
He secured a good room at the Yarcombe inn in Honiton and settled in. He got himself a drink in the lounge, not far from the blazing fire in the hearth. From his seat he could see the window and that his postilion had been right about snow: 2 hours after they had arrived, it was falling thick and fast, covering the roads and making travel impossible.  
Several carriages had stopped at the inn in the meantime and the downstairs lounge was now very busy. It got too loud for Yannick, he enjoyed peace and quiet, so he retired to his room and ordered his food to be brought up to him rather than having to face the crowd below. He had a big fire going in the fire place; by the window he could see the snow falling over the old cemetery at the back of the church, it looked beautiful and peaceful and he thought that if as he suspected he was forced to stay a few days there because of the weather it would not be so bad. He had purchased some books for Charley and Meredith in Oxford so he would not be bored.  
He had finished his dinner and was enjoying a drink when someone knocked at his door. It was the Posting house landlord in person, looking embarrassed and begging for a word with him. He let him in, curious, hoping his postilion had not fallen foul of something, he was a good man and Yannick appreciated him. The man started to tell him about one customer, a Lord no less, who had just reached the Posting house on foot with his valet and postilion after his Phaeton had turned over in a ditch because of the weather. They had been surprised by the intensity of the snow, he was telling Yannick, his Lordship had to walk 2 miles in the cold and was wet through. Yannick interrupted the long speech,  
‘I can’t see what this has to do with me, come to the point, man, you don’t need me to get his Lordship near a fire to get him warmed up.’  
‘No, sir, of course not, but you see, I have no free room to give him; I can’t let his lordship sleep in the stables, besides, they are already packed with the passengers of the stagecoach I had to accommodate, all my rooms are full, if you could be so kind as to share yours, sir, it is a double room after all, I will take it into account in your bill, to be be sure.’  
Yannick’s first idea was to push the man out of his room. He had chosen to ride post for peace and privacy and this man was suggesting he shared his room, his bed even, with a total stranger, worse a Lord, a probably obnoxious, pampered creature who would immediately attempt to take over his room! The problem was, could he really refuse? He knew damn well that he couldn’t according to the law of hospitality. The landlord did not have to ask his agreement in the first place, it was a double-room and sharing was usual practice. So, Yannick forced himself to thank the landlord for taking the care of warning him before his guest walked in.  
One hour went by before another knock disturbed Yannick. He opened the door, bracing himself for the worst and stood there, frozen still when he set eyes on the man standing out in the corridor. His unexpected guest’s reaction was absolutely identical to his. They both stood there, looking at each other, seemingly unable to move until they started laughing at the same time.  
Yannick recovered first, he stepped back, letting Hadrian enter the room. The whole thing had a feeling of déjà vu. No word was pronounced, Hadrian just embraced Yannick and kissed him deeply, passionately, holding him fiercely against him. Yannick had stopped thinking, stopped breathing even, he was responding to the kiss of the man he had been dreaming of for the last 3 years. A further knock on the door brought them back to reality and they separated.  
Yannick opened the door, a servant carrying a bottle of wine and 2 glasses stood there,   
‘With his Lordship’s compliments, sir,’ he said. Yannick let him in, the man put the tray on the table, bowed and made to withdraw. Yannick thanked him, tipped him and saw him out locking the door behind him. The interlude had given him time to get his thoughts together:  
‘Well, thank you for the wine, your Lordship,’ he said teasingly, ‘I had not realised that you were titled when we were introduced at Kediri.’  
‘I wasn’t then, I’ve only recently inherited my father’s title,’ Hadrian marked a slight pause before saying, ’you speak English.’   
Yannick smiled, ‘my mother was English, I learnt French and English in infancy.’  
Hadrian pulled a face, ‘oh God, you understood what I said to you in bed.’   
Yannick laughed again and closed up the space between their bodies, his hands resting on Hadrian’s shoulders, looking into his eyes, ‘yes, and I loved hearing those words you whispered in my ears, you can talk dirty to me again anytime you wish,’ Hadrian’s arms circled Yannick’s waist,   
‘I have improved my French since Kediri you know, in the expectation of meeting you again,’ with a mischievous smile he brought his mouth close to Yannick’s ear and whispered words in French to him. Yannick laughed softly, whispering back, ‘I can’t see any reasons why not,’ and he started to undo the buttons of Hadrian’s pants.  
He felt the cold on his face when he woke during the night. He saw that the fire was nearly out, and the room’s temperature had dropped significantly. He extracted himself carefully from Hadrian’s arms and shivered as he crossed the room naked to poke the embers in the hearth and add more logs. He worked fast; he was in a hurry to get back into the warm embrace awaiting for him in the bed. He heard Hadrian stir and saw him sit up suddenly, gasping. He rushed back to the bed, into his lover’s arms.   
‘You were gone, I was afraid that it was only a dream,’ Hadrian spoke with his head buried in the crook of Yannick’s neck, his fingers tangled in his hair.   
‘It’s not, I am real, here, just mending the fire, you will not get rid of me that easily you know. You were right to call me a wanton at Kediri, I can’t imagine ever having enough of you.’   
These words were music to Hadrian’s ears. He pulled Yannick back under the covers, his mouth hungry for more kisses, his hard cock seeking to claim his lover’s body once more.  
Much later, knocking on the door woke them both up in the same instant. Yannick growled:  
‘Not again, is someone looking for you?’  
‘My valet, probably, I asked him to wake me up at 8 for breakfast.’   
Yannick sighed, ‘better get down then, we don’t want to raise suspicions.’  
Hadrian agreed, he acknowledged his valet’s call and got up, asking for hot water to be brought up to them. He gasped when cold air entered the room after Yannick had opened wide the small window but understood why he had done it, the bedroom smelt heavily of sex.   
‘There’s no need, you know, it’s safe, my valet will service the room and he knows my tastes.’  
‘I see. And, is he used to you fucking every stranger you share a room with in posting houses?’  
‘It’s a fair question, especially considering our history. John has seen me in gallant company, but I am actually very picky, and I am also generally cautious; you were an exception. You bewitched me.’  
Yannick smiled, ‘you had a lot to lose that night.’  
Hadrian returned his smile: ‘ah, yes, but what a night!’  
John returned, carrying enough hot water for both men to wash and shave. They hurried with their ablutions, the room temperature having dropped substantially thanks to Yannick and they made their way downstairs.  
The lounge was already busy with travellers breaking their fast. They managed to find a free table to sit down. It had stopped snowing, but the ground was thickly covered, and it was clear that no carriages would leave in the near future.   
‘We’re stuck here for a while, I think,’ mused Yannick, ‘I wonder how we are going to kill the time!’ His eyes were smiling with mischief as the words were spoken very quietly, one of his legs rubbing Hadrian’s under the table. Hadrian smiled back and answered even more quietly,   
‘I have quite a few ideas of how to occupy ourselves, trust me, by the time we leave this place there will not be one inch of your body unknown to me.’  
Their private conversation ended there, a serving girl brought them their breakfast and other travellers joined them at the table. Most were lamenting at the delay caused by the weather; it was going to increase the cost of their journey considerably. Yannick and Hadrian did not join in, each lost in his private thoughts, both very happy at the unexpected turn of events that brought them together.   
After breakfast, they found a quiet booth in a corner of the lounge where they could talk privately. They had now spent 2 nights together but knew next to nothing about each other.   
‘So,’ asked Hadrian, ‘where were you heading for? I spend 2 months in France last year trying to find you, no one seemed to know, or wanted to say anyway. I would not have given up though, only, with my father’s dying I had obligations that I could not escape thrust upon me.’   
Hadrian did not add that if Yannick had wanted it, it would have been easy for him to contact him, nevertheless it was at the back of his mind, as were the stories he had read about the Frenchman. He hated to think that Yannick was perhaps just a promiscuous man who obviously enjoyed sex with him and was happy to take this opportunity same as any others that came his way. The thought was not pleasant, but Hadrian was clear headed enough to be able to consider this a possibility.   
Yannick waited a few moments, expecting more questions from Hadrian, he read uncertainty, hesitation, in the other man’s eyes, and he decided to answer his unsaid questions.  
‘I was going home; I have been living near Falmouth since the end of the war. I took my mother’s name when I moved in the house my aunt had bought for me during the war. You have not asked about the stories written about me, yet their impact on my life have been terribly destructive. It’s why I ran away, I needed to live where no one would know me and judge me, but most of all somewhere where my children would be safe. I did not try to contact you because I did not know how you really felt about me, especially after all these stories, after all said and done, the way I behaved with you could only lead you to believe that they were true. I couldn’t risk telling you or anyone else where I was.’  
Hadrian had frowned twice during Yannick’s speech, but had chosen to let him continue anyway, now he had to ask:  
‘Falmouth? This is where I was heading to also, and you have children?’  
‘I suppose that you are going to visit your friend Thomas. And before you ask, yes, I met Thomas in Falmouth, but I don’t want to enter into a discussion with you about him please, better if you talk to him. Children, yes, I have one daughter aged 10 from a marriage, now over, and one adopted son aged 13 or 14. I recently discovered that I have one half-brother who is studying at Oxford, I was returning home after meeting him for the first time. I have one sister who is married to Lord Alexander Durfield, but she refuses to have any contact with me.’  
‘I know Lord Durfield, he is a fair man, I am surprised that he judged you without hearing you first. But of course, and forgive me for asking so, but are some of those allegations true?’  
‘Yes, there are some truths in them,’ and Yannick told him about Camille, André and the 2 guards. He also told him of the two women he had loved and how those relationships had ended. He did not tell him about his father’s abuse or the rapes. He was not ready to tell anyone about these events. He asked Hadrian to tell him about his lovers.   
Hadrian agreed; he had not developed any long-standing relationship with anyone. He had known fleeting encounters, and not many of them. It was so dangerous in England where the law was harsh for sodomites. On board ships he had seen men flogged to death after being caught in the arms of another man although he knew some nevertheless risked all for their pleasure. Shipboys were not safe on his majesty’s ships but most were too frightened of their abusers to say anything. He had never used a shipboy, youngsters did not attract him, his only lover at sea had been a surgeon on board the first ship where he served as a lieutenant. They had managed to meet discreetly and enjoy intercourse, but it was so dangerous that they had preferred to stop, being afraid of being caught all the time took most of the pleasure away, besides they’d had one near miss one day, one sailor barging in suddenly in the surgeon’s cabin looking for him just after Hadrian had unbuttoned his pants. They had been lucky; the surgeon’s body had shielded the sight of Hadrian’s state of undress and protruding erection. Hadrian had kept himself to himself after that, with lonely pleasuring same as his fellow officers and sailors on board, the only difference being that he dreamt of handsome male bodies rather than females. He suspected that he was not the only one repressing his desires for men, he had noticed the lingering looks that followed him when he walked on deck. He had been tempted to seek other men’s company in ports, but well aware that male prostitutes carried a risk of disease just as high as their female counterparts, he had generally contented himself with heavy petting. He had gone all the way sometimes, using a condom after receiving this sound advice from his physician lover. It had all been very controlled, he said, until he had met Yannick and had not been able to resist.  
Hadrian had been surprised that Yannick had fallen in love with 2 women in his life, he had never bedded a woman himself, never felt any desire to do so. Yannick clearly had, although he preferred being with men and being on the receiving end. He had never entered a man, he told Hadrian, it had never appealed to him.   
‘Not even with your 2 handsome guards,’ teased Hadrian, ‘no, not even with them, I could have I suppose, only I never felt the desire to do so. How about you, have you ever been fucked?’ ‘No, I like being on top,’ replied Hadrian, ‘maybe that’s why we fit together so well, we both get what we want,’ Yannick couldn’t help replying with a teasing smile, ‘I distinctly remember that you did not mind me being on top on one occasion….’ He let his voice trail and Hadrian laughed, ‘Ah, yes, well, I did not express myself correctly, I should have said that I enjoy being inside, shouldn’t I, I did love you being on top, you can come on top again anytime you wish.’ What he read in Yannick’s eyes at that precise moment made him wish it was time for bed already.  
The remainder of daytime passed fairly quickly, they enquired about Hadrian’s valet and the 2 postilions, Hadrian played cards with a group of merchants while Yannick preferred a game of darts, they talked about the appalling weather with the ladies and risked a walk outside up to the church they could see from their window. The Posting house had plenty of food in its pantry and the cook provided nice meals. In the evening a passenger from the stagecoach got his violin out and played a gig. Couples danced a few steps, Yannick and Hadrian joined in, invited the ladies in turn and generally enjoyed themselves all evening until it got late, and the company retired for the night.   
Their second full night together was even better than the first, any remaining shyness between them had disappeared, they felt free to talk about what they liked best in bed. Neither had felt so good with another man before and when morning came, they were totally undone.  
Hadrian’s post-chaise was retrieved from the ditch it had ended in as soon as the roads were deemed safe to travel; they stayed one night more than their fellow stranded passengers while the chaise was being repaired. They had stayed 5 nights altogether at the Posting house. They had fallen into an easy companionship, Yannick’s teasing humour delighted Hadrian who had never felt so good in his life. He felt he could speak freely to Yannick, both in and out of bed, the mood was suddenly light, the future much brighter.   
They left in Hadrian’s post-chaise, Hadrian’s servant travelling in the one Yannick had rented. They spent another 2 nights in a Posting house on the way to Rosemarkie, the roads were passable but not good enough to speed along. Finally, they arrived at Rosemarkie in the afternoon of their 3rd day travelling after leaving Honiton. Hadrian had admitted being worried at the idea of meeting Charley and Meredith. They had agreed that Hadrian was going to be introduced as a close friend coming to stay with them. The length of his stay was not evoked, by neither of them. They were living in the present, one day at a time for now.  
Charley and Meredith were delighted to have their father back, it had been the longest separation that they’d ever had. They couldn’t wait to unpack their presents and hear all about his trip. They welcomed Hadrian, not asking any questions now, but Yannick knew for sure that they would come eventually. He told Loïk discreetly to bring Hadrian’s bag to his own rooms then he asked if Hadrian’s servants could be accommodated in the servants’ quarters. Luckily all the servants’ rooms had been restored after work had been done on the roof of the manor. Yannick had anticipated that his household was going to need more staff as the children were growing up and as he himself was opening more and more of the old manor’s rooms.   
He now had a butler, 2 maids, a cook and a cook help, a scullery girl, 2 footmen, one coachman and 2 grooms as well as the faithful Simon and Tamsin who looked after the vegetable garden and the farmyard animals. Simona supervised the maids, but Yannick knew that he soon would need to find a proper housekeeper to look at the household accounts and other things that Simona had no experience in doing. He had given the task to Jonathan but knew that it was unfair to burden the young man with this as he was already well occupied. Loïk was at Yannick’s and the children’s service same as he had always been on board Danae. The steward, Jonathan, looked after his own staff which included the gardeners and a game keeper. Miss Leary had been given the Crofts old rooms and was delighted with the arrangement. It was a lot more people than when they’d arrived but still not many considering the increasing household. Most of the staff had come from the village of Porthdowns, they were inexperienced at first, being trained by the butler, who was the only employee who had been in service before. Yannick did not mind, he knew they would learn, he wanted to employ people from the estate, and this was what he had made clear to Jonathan when he had requested his help. The young man was a gem. Yannick was very aware that the estate and the house could not have run as well as they did without this young man. He had rewarded him with another hefty pay increase and had gifted him a house rent-free for him and his new bride.  
Yannick knew that he could only have Hadrian staying in his rooms for a short time, he used the excuse that there were no decent, furnished guest rooms available and that he needed to have the decorators in. Hadrian was to be given the set of rooms which had been in the past the lady of the house’s rooms. Conveniently a door communicated directly with Yannick’s private rooms at the end of a small corridor. These rooms were not the only ones that he decided to restore; in anticipation to Louis’s visit and hopefully other visits in the future, he thought it was a good idea to have all the bedrooms on the second floor decorated and furnished.   
Jonathan had looked after the estate business as usual during Yannick’s absence, Simon, who also acted as doorman, had told him of Captain Adams’s visit on the day after his departure to Oxford and now on his desk he found a letter from Captain Adams.   
In his letter, Thomas told him that he regretted having to put his words to paper instead of seeing him face-to-face. It was a letter of apologies, he had wronged Yannick and Hadrian by meddling in their private lives and not telling either of them the truth about how they felt for each other. He had judged Yannick by the rumours told about him without giving him a chance to explain and in doing so he had more than likely jeopardised his own friendship with Hadrian. He then told him what Yannick already knew about Hadrian’s obsession with him, his travel to France and, he added, his possible visit to Falmouth. He promised to reveal all to Hadrian and also included his friend’s address in the letter. Thomas’s letter sounded sincere, he had used simple words to explain his actions and had not tried to find excuses for what he had done. Yannick thought back of the hurt he had felt because of Thomas’s words and wondered if he would ever forgive him totally.   
He handed over the letter to Hadrian; he had refused to talk about Thomas at the Posting house and Hadrian had not raised the subject again. He had wanted Hadrian to hear what Thomas had to say first. Now that he had through his letter, Yannick spoke of an agreement he had passed with Thomas because of his insecurity after the newssheets had painted him in such a bad light. He did not give Hadrian further details, preferring to let Thomas answer for himself.   
He repeated his explanations of how obsessed he had become with keeping his English address hidden from everyone, and not trusting even his loyal solicitor or his friend Maxence. He had made the deliberate choice of living without a companion rather than risk discovery and having to run again.   
He was amazed how Hadrian understood his reasons readily, he repeated that he had never thought that the stories could be telling the whole truth. Yannick felt good sharing so much with him, he was not used to doing this and was thinking that he was truly falling in love with Hadrian.   
Hadrian gave himself a few days to settle down at Rosemarkie before he borrowed Yannick’s horse and made his way to Falmouth to visit Thomas. He’d spent a few days thinking about it, Yannick had once again refused to tell him anymore before he spoke to Thomas and he really couldn’t wait to know what had happened between the two men he cared for most in his life.   
Thomas was smiling when he entered the room. Because Hadrian was here at all, he had assumed that his friend had forgiven him for his past actions. Indeed, Thomas had written to Hadrian at the same time that he had written to Mersac, weeks ago; he had not heard from him but he assumed that if Hadrian had taken the time to come all the way to Cornwall to see him it was because he was forgiven, surely.   
But Hadrian was not smiling back, in fact his expression was the coldest Thomas had ever seen on him; an awful thought entered his mind, what if Mersac had also written to him? He felt he had to explain now, talk before Hadrian said anything. And so, he did.   
He recalled his shock at meeting the Frenchman, his despair at finding out that Mersac wanted to see Hadrian again, his deep inner feeling that this relationship would hurt Hadrian because of the man’s reputation. Then he told him of his further encounters with Mersac, of what he’d learnt about him, of the way he was with his children, with the people around him and how his opinion had slowly changed, and how he had realised that he had most certainly made a mistake and had attempted to correct it by writing to Hadrian and explain.   
It was a long speech and Hadrian did not interrupt him, he waited until Thomas had spoken his last sentence:   
‘I’ll understand fully if you never want to see me again after I interfered in your private life. I had no rights to do such a thing, I know that now; I am not sure I can even ask for your forgiveness. I wrote to Mersac too and told him the truth about how you feel about him. He has been away for some time now, but I do not doubt that he will contact you when he reads my letter.’  
Thomas’s eyes were bright, and Hadrian did not doubt his sincerity. What his friend told him was exactly what he had hoped to hear all along. So, he just nodded,  
‘I never received your letter and Yannick never wrote to me either, but I read the letter you sent him. I read it at Rosemarkie, after we both got there. You see Thomas, we were destined to meet each other again. We met by chance on the road to Falmouth and stayed stranded for 5 days in a Posting house because of the snow!’  
Hadrian was smiling now, he walked to his friend and hugged him, when he pulled away, he saw tears running down Thomas’s cheeks and he laughed, hugging Thomas again.  
Hadrian stayed for lunch, he congratulated the expecting Alicia on the fore coming birth of their child, asked Thomas about his duties at the naval base and if he enjoyed his life in Cornwall.   
Thomas had offered his condolences to his friend and asked if he was going to live in the London Mansion now that he was Lord. Hadrian had a little smile on his face when he told him that he was in fact settling down at Rosemarkie. His country house was closed and the London mansion nearly all closed also. He just left a skeleton staff there in case he needed to come to town.   
He had decided this even before meeting with Yannick again, he told Thomas, the estate finances were in such a dire state that he couldn’t keep both houses open. He had been thinking about renting them even and finding a small gentleman’s flat somewhere for him to live in before he had met Yannick again.  
Alicia had not understood why Hadrian referred to Ian Kermor as Yannick, and she asked them. ‘Oh, it’s an old nickname, I give him, we are old friends.’ She guessed that there was more to it but did not pursue her line of thought for the moment. Thomas realised he was in for questioning as soon as his friend departed and prepared himself for it.  
He was right on clue and he told Alicia that his friends were in fact more than friends, but that this was never to be discussed as it was a matter of life and death for them. Alicia, who had half-guessed anyway promised to keep the secret also even though she knew that many in Falmouth would wonder about this friend of Mr. Kermor who was now living with him.  
Life at Rosemarkie settled into a nice routine, the children were happy with their lessons with Miss Leary, Charley’s progress in Latin and Greek amazed her father. She had asked him to order books in these 2 languages and he was impressed to see her read them seemingly with great ease.   
With Miss Leary’s help, he had been replenishing the library. Rosemarkie’s library had once been full, but now its shelves were desperately empty. The previous owner had sold every book that his ancestors had collected over the years together with his art works and eventually the furniture in an attempt at keeping himself from bankruptcy. It had not been enough to pay off his debts, the banks were going to force him to sell his estate and he doubted that even after the sell he’d had some money left to finance his gambling addiction. Cornered, he had decided as a final desperate gamble to play against Lady Henrietta, a game which had ended disastrously for him: he lost his estate, had no means of paying the banks and had to run abroad to avoid debtors’ prison.  
The task of replenishing the library was one that Miss Leary was only too pleased to help with. She drew lists of “must have” classics, ordering them in England and abroad and she also added modern authors like the mysterious lady who signed her books ‘by a lady’, to her long list.   
Charley was always reading something when she was in the house. Because the weather was still miserable with cold and rain despite the season which had turned to late spring, she was not outside very often exercising unfortunately, so Yannick and Hadrian had got both her and Meredith busy with more fencing lessons in the recently redecorated first floor long gallery. It had done them good to exercise with someone with a style different from their father or Loïk.   
Yannick and Hadrian sparred almost every day, keeping each other on their toes and fit for lack of outdoor activities. All of them missed going for long rides, especially Charley who hated to spend one day without riding her pony. Hadrian had bought himself a good hunter, and he accompanied her often. He was a better rider than Yannick and often provoked Charley to races across the meadows along the top road while Yannick and Meredith followed at a much more sedate pace. As for their little boat, they had not even taken it out once yet. The boat had been used for fishing and pleasure by the previous owner of the manor. Yannick had it restored and made safe for them to use but had never been satisfied with it really. He wanted a better boat, one day he would have to look around seriously for one.  
One afternoon, soon after a visit to Falmouth, Charley approached her father and sat down next to him while he was reading and suddenly, she asked:   
‘How much longer is Hadrian going to stay with us?’ Yannick paled, he had thought that the children enjoyed Hadrian’s company, was it possible that he had got it totally wrong after all? He knew he had to tread carefully before he answered:  
‘He is my guest, it would be rude of me to press him on this, but do you wish him gone?’ He asked anxiously,   
‘I want him to stay forever,’ she said firmly, ’you’re happy again now that he is here.’ The relief flooded Yannick’s heart, but he had to ask:   
‘Do you think that I was unhappy before he came?’   
‘Yes, you were, your eyes were sad, and they are not any longer, do you think he wants to stay though?’  
‘Yes, my love, I think that he does want to stay.’  
She gave him her brightest smile, a kiss on the cheek and before she disappeared, she added: ‘Meredith likes him too.’  
Although Yannick had been reassured by Charley’s words regarding Hadrian, he couldn’t help worrying that his lover was going to be bored at Rosemarkie one day and ultimately leave him; he had experienced being in love and being abandoned before and the thought of losing Hadrian was unbearable. Hadrian was the love of his life, he was certain of it, he had never felt so much in love before, but he was very aware that it was physical attraction that had brought them together and that although they couldn’t get their hands off each other at nights, time out of bed was just as important if their relationship were to last. His insecurities still plagued him more frequently than he wished and one night, after a particularly tender love-making session he couldn’t help himself asking Hadrian if he was getting bored. Hadrian laughed:  
‘How can you possibly ask this after what we just did? Did I seem bored to you while we made love?’  
‘No, no, I don’t mean in bed. I mean during the day.’  
‘Are you asking me if I am bored with you outside a bed?’  
‘Yes. Because if you are, you will not stay. The physicality between us is bound to lessen with time, it always does, doesn’t it? And what will make you stay with me if you are bored during the day?’  
‘Are YOU bored with me during the day? Is YOUR desire for me lessening?’.  
Yannick detached himself from Hadrian’s arms to look at him in the eyes:  
‘I can’t get enough of you, I want to be able to look at you, talk to you, get fucked by you day or night for ever.’  
‘That’s all right then, for a moment I thought that your question was your way of telling me you had enough of me and wanted me to move on,’ Hadrian’s smile was mischievous.  
‘Hadrian! You can’t have thought that!’  
‘Why not, you just did!’ Yannick was speechless then, Hadrian pulled him back into his arms, holding him tight, and said very quietly in his lover’s ear, ‘I promise I am not bored, I am not going to leave you. I want to grow old with you and if I could marry you I would because I love you with all my heart and not just with my cock.’  
Hadrian was rewarded by a long kiss for his words, he tasted salty tears on his lover’s cheeks as they parted. Yannick did not speak again. He felt happy and allowed himself to think that it was really going to last this time.  
Miss Leary who encouraged Meredith artistic interests, suggested he tried other painting medium. He had seen portraits or landscapes painted on china clay miniatures, on dishes, or decorating plates and found that he would love to try it, he loved the idea that because the object was going to be fired after painting the artist work could never be altered again and also there was always a surprise element because no one could ever know for sure what the end-result would be like when the work came out of the oven. Miss Leary’s suggestion of painting on china clay had led him to want to know more about the raw material which were used, and how the mixing of Cornish stones, bones and kaolin made the paste which ultimately became this most beautiful white transparent material he could paint on. He would no longer be restricted to plane surface canvas either, he would be able to paint on curve or round surfaces, design objects, paint them and fire them.   
China clay was big business in Cornwall, it was exported all over the world from the coast, and factories produced bone china ware. Kaolin was present on the estate, it was found on the piece of land the previous owners had left wild and enjoyed hunting on, but Yannick had not started to exploit it. He could have mined and exported it like most of the owners did, he had shown interest in using the kaolin, producing china clay and transform it, but it required a large investment and competition was fierce. So, this project had been set aside for the time being, he had so many other ventures going on, he feared that he was dispersing maybe a little too much.   
Meredith’s interest made him think again. He decided to encourage Meredith to look into it, including costing the enterprise and checking whether or not it could be profitable in the long term, it would be a good exercise for him. Meredith had no precise ideas regarding his future. He was not interested in old languages and civilisations as Charley was, he enjoyed riding and fencing, but only moderately and the military did not appeal to him, he liked to observe nature and animals, Miss Leary had ordered books which showed drawings by Leonardo da Vinci and Meredith was fascinated by the man’s work. The drawings showing the inside of human’s bodies were his favourite, but he was not sure that he wanted to be either a physician or a surgeon. He loved art and science, that was a certainty and maybe the 2 interests could express themselves in the china clay business. He was proud that his father deemed him old enough and intelligent enough despite his young age to study such a project and he threw himself into it enthusiastically.  
Meredith’s artistic talent had been helpful when the guests rooms and the long gallery had been restored to their formal glory. Charley had wanted the long gallery decorated in the antique style, but it was Meredith who had suggested the colour schemes for the walls, carpets and tapestries. His choices had been approved by Yannick and Charley and worked had started. The whole project had taken a lot of time and money, but Yannick was delighted with the result and he decided that it was high time he invited his friends to visit his home. He had not introduced Hadrian to Lord and Lady Trewin yet, he was a little wary of their reaction: it was one thing for them to accept that their friend had in the past dallied with men, but quite another to be introduced to his live-in lover, a former naval officer. Still, he could not hide Hadrian at Rosemarkie for ever, he was known to live with him as a house-guest, and had been seen in Falmouth dinning out with Thomas and Alicia anyway. Alicia had been delivered of a baby girl only a few days after Hadrian had visited, and she was now well enough to come to Rosemarkie at last.  
The visit lasted a week and was successful, there were a lot of naval talks of course seeing that 4 of the men had a naval career in their past, Amber and Alicia knew each other well and Miss Leary was pleased to see her old school friend again. Charley and Meredith had been present throughout; they had even been invited to dine in the evenings and join the company in the sitting room afterwards for the pleasant soirées of games and music playing. Yannick regretted that Loïk and Simona had preferred to stay away, but he could understand, they were still struggling with English despite Miss Leary’s efforts with lessons and uncomfortable in company of Yannick’s upper class friends. Yannick knew that they would prefer to live in France, he had told them that if they wished to go back, he would provide them with a generous well-deserved retirement allowance, but he had met a strong refusal from both. Their place was with him and his family, something Yannick was immensely grateful for.  
The newly decorated and comfortable rooms were praised by their guests, Rosemarkie was now a far cry from the cold and dreary house they had discovered nearly 2 years ago. It was a happy house too, how to define a happy house was a good question, maybe it was the children running and laughing from room to room or the dogs and cats playfully chasing each other or the domestics’ attitudes, never surly or harassed, obviously enjoying serving at Rosemarkie.


	19. summer 1816

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert Fellowes investigations

The mission Robert was entrusted with was by no means unusual for him; what was unusual was it was generally the victim of the malicious talk who wanted to know who he or she had offended at some point in time. Robert could not guess why Mr. Kermor, a wealthy landowner English gentleman and friend of Admiral Trewin, was interested to find out who maligned a French Rear-Admiral.   
He hoped that he would get the answer to this question while bringing his mission to a successful end. He had a fair idea of how to approach the problem. Robert knew a lot of people working as journalists and among these people there was at least 3 or 4 who specialized into society’s scandals.   
He was lucky, the first of his friends he met remembered the Mersac stories very well. He gave Robert several newspapers where the articles were printed. Robert noticed that all the early articles told more or less the same story about the shameful way by which Mersac became an officer, but with different styles and adding more unsavoury details to outdo each other.   
Later on, the new stories which came out were deploring his morals and his acceptance of couples on board his ship with innuendos about his own probable taste for handsome sailors. Then the stories got worse and worse, implying that after becoming an Admiral he had no limit to his debauchery, with tales of orgies on board and wild parties on the island of Kamorta described by the writers of the articles.   
Robert noticed that the rape story came out on its own, several months after the first one, the style was very different too and he wondered why. His informer could answer easily: the first stories were translated from French newspapers, their source was in France, he said, but the rape story had an English source. It had been printed in England first and then translated into French. Robert asked his friend to try and find out this source. They came to a financial agreement and separated.  
After this first small finding, he decided that his next move was to get to know more about the lady in question, and therefore he made his way to Lord and Lady Alconbury’s London Mansion.  
The best source of gossips was servants; there was always at least one unhappy servant in each household who was ready to tell tales. To get access to them, Robert presented himself to the butler and told the man he was looking for work, had excellent references, and had heard that a footman was needed. Bluff often worked, the high season for balls and receptions was in full swing and aristocratic households generally needed to take on extra-staff at that time. His references had been given to him by grateful and prestigious clients he had helped in the past. Admiral Trewin was one of them. The butler agreed to give him a try with a view to keep him on after the season. Robert was in.  
Robert spent his first 2 weeks quietly observing how the household was run and keeping his ears open without asking any questions at all. It was not the first time he had worked as a footman during his past investigations. He worked hard, was pleasant to everyone, and the butler was therefore happy to keep him on. Robert had noticed immediately that his Lordship was not an easy man to please. He was demanding, overbearing even, and the servants kept out of his way as much as possible. He never had a good word for anyone, he even openly criticized his wife. Robert heard him object to the gown she had chosen for going out one night with extremely cutting remarks which had her Ladyship rush back upstairs immediately with tears in her eyes. Not a loving couple then to be sure, Robert thought.  
Although he felt sorry for the lady, he used the incident to his advantage. Several servants had witnessed it and he thought it was safe to talk about it in the kitchen after their masters had departed. In the kitchen, at supper time, he found Lucy, her Ladyship’s maid, sitting down heavily on a chair telling everyone that she did not know if she could go on like this for very much longer.  
‘The season has only just started,’ she moaned, ‘it’s already the 3rd time he’s made her ladyship change her gown before going out! I can’t understand why he doesn’t choose her outfits himself before she starts getting ready, it would save so much time and efforts.’  
‘Don’t let his lordship’s valet hears you, you poor girl! Or you’ll be out just like the other ones!’ Exclaimed the cook.  
‘The slimy rat obtained one hour leave tonight from his lordship. I wonder who he spied on to get that favour! Anyway, I’m not spending much more time here, I tell you, I have heard of another position and I’ve applied for it. I’ll be sorry to leave her ladyship and all of you, but honestly I don’t know how you cope.’  
‘Some of us, who’re not getting any younger have to, my dear, good luck to you; watch it though, you are going to put off the new member of this happy lot!’ The cook looked at Robert as she was speaking.  
‘Oh, that all right,’ he answered, ‘I can put up with a great deal, I’ve seen all sorts in my working life,’ and that was the truth of course, he liked the way this talk was going, the fact that the valet was away seemed to have let a loosening of tongues and he intended to make the most of it.  
‘So, have there been that many maids before you,’ he asked Lucy.  
‘Yes, but don’t ask me how many cause I don’t know,’ she replied, ‘his lordship interviews them, you know, I was lucky to find grace in his eyes, I’ve endured it for nearly 6 months now, enough to gain some experience and move on to a serve a happier mistress, I reckon.’  
The cook joined in again, ‘he picked you because you were young and innocent, that’s why, he thought he could use you to spy on her, as it is you are right to move on, I think he will soon guess that you are not much use to him for his spying game!’  
‘But there is nothing to report! Her ladyship hardly leaves the house and when she does, she only goes out to friends that he has vetoed. She has never confided in me, never a wrong word about her husband or a complaint despite his erratic behaviour. I would not have been able to tell him anything even if I had wanted to!’  
The cook sighed heavily, ‘no, of course she wouldn’t do that, not since her old maid was dismissed by his lordship when they returned from India. He did not dismiss her earlier because she had been needed on the journey back, but as soon as they set foot in England, she was dismissed immediately without a reference although she had served her ladyship since she was a debutante.’  
‘That’s hard indeed,’ said Robert, ‘she must have made a huge mistake.’  
The servants looked at each other’s then cook said,  
‘You may as well be told, it’s not a secret anyway, her ladyship was raped by a French officer in India, and his lordship put the blame on her ladyship’s maid. He said she should have prevented the man from approaching her rooms in the first place, that she let him enter and did not try to help when her ladyship called out. So, you see it’s a serious accusation.’  
‘Mary would never have let her ladyship down!’ The angry exclamation came from the old gardener, a man who Robert had never heard talk before, the other servants often teased him saying that he only talked to his vegetables.   
‘Aye, you’d defend her of course, you, Mary and the cook were the only ones who knew her ladyship from before she married,’ said one of the footmen.  
‘Mary was a good loyal woman. She was unfairly treated, she couldn’t do anything to stop that evil man, she told me, it’s old story now, but it broke my Mary, that’s for sure.’  
‘Poor woman,’ said Robert, very interested, ‘what happened to her, do you know? It can’t have been easy to find another position if she had no reference from her ladyship after serving her for so many years, and there were probably gossips too.’  
‘It wasn’t, she came to the house once, last year, said she’d make a scandal if she wasn’t helped, she was lucky his lordship was away, and her ladyship gave her some money. His lordship found out of course, thanks to the spying rat, and her ladyship and him had an explanation, she did not leave her room for 2 weeks after that.’   
Robert would have liked to talk further on the subject, but he knew from experience that suspicion could be raised if he insisted. Furthermore, the “spying rat” was soon to return after his hour of freedom and conversation floated to other topics. He was glad though, he knew who to approach to get to the truth, the old gardener, this was the person whose trust he needed to gain.  
So, over the following weeks, Robert watched the habits of the old gardener unobtrusively, then he arranged to be at the same place than him when he knew the man would be alone. He spoke to him about the dreadful continuously cold weather, with far more rain than they should have, and no sun to help the growth of the spring vegetables. The cook was not pleased he said, he couldn’t provide as many veg as he should have done, and she had to go to market to try and find more. The vegetables on the market stalls were not plentiful either and the prices had much increased.   
‘I am sure she knows you can’t help it though; you’ve both been in this house for a long time, I heard.’  
‘A very long time, we used to work at her ladyship’s father country house; her ladyship’s father asked if we wished to follow her when she set up her own household. Her husband did not have an established house before they married, his family seat, this house, was closed, he lived in a gentleman’s flat in town. They moved here after refurbishing.’  
‘And that’s when you moved in, with the cook,’ finished Robert, ’and with Mary.’   
‘Yes, the first 3 years were not bad, then his lordship was given a diplomatic post in India. He went on his own first and then her ladyship followed him, some months later; Mary, her maid went with her of course, but the ship they travelled on was captured by the French and her ladyship was held prisoner on some island until the French departed and her husband could join her. They chose to return to England.’  
‘He gave up his diplomatic post then?’  
‘I don’t know about that, but when they came back, his attitude towards her was very different. He had never been a loving husband, but he became down right unpleasant, you have seen how he is with her choice of gowns, it’s the same with everything, always unhappy with what she does. And of course, it got worse when the newssheets reported the story that she’d been raped by the French Admiral.’  
‘Had they been back in England for long when that story came out? ‘  
‘They came back in time for Christmas 1813, the story came out a few months later, after the war ended.’  
‘How unfortunate for her and her husband; I am sure they would have preferred keeping this unhappy incident secret.’  
‘His lordship blamed Mary. But she had been dismissed months before and I know Mary, she would never do anything to harm her ladyship, and her ladyship would not still help her out if she had been to blame.’  
‘You mean she still gives her money now?’  
The old gardener looked weary suddenly, wondering if he had not got carried away, Robert guessed his unease:   
‘Don’t worry, I’ll not say a word, it is none of my business, I don’t like the atmosphere in this house, and I will not stay on after the season is over. I was just trying to understand how such a sweet lady could be treated so badly by her husband that’s all. It does look as if her ladyship feels that Mary was not fairy treated by her husband.’  
‘Aye, that’s what Mary keeps saying; I wish she’d move on with her life though rather than drinking herself silly.’  
Robert smiled and nodded sympathetically; he took the conversation to another topic which had nothing to do with the household. He had learnt all he could from the old man. He was sure that if Lady Alexis sent money to Mary, he was the one taking it to her, so he now needed to find out where she lived and talk to her. He would have to follow the old man and he couldn’t do this while still working in the house. A few days later, he handed in his notice, pretexting an emergency in his family and he left.  
He rented a room near the house and, under disguise, he started to watch out for the old gardener’s going and froing in order to follow him to Mary’s.  
The old man only ever left the house to go to market and Robert followed him every time, but he never met anyone there. He had a day off every week and Robert hoped that it was then that he was most likely to go out and meet Mary.   
He followed him everywhere he went on his days out for several weeks and was starting to wonder if he had got it wrong when at last one day, the old man did not take his usual route from the house in Newport street directly to St James’ park, but he walked instead down St Martin’s lane and Whitehall, parallel to the river. He continued towards parliament bridge, walking briskly in the wind.   
Robert realised that he was going towards a less agreeable part of London called the sanctuary and he came up nearer to make sure that he did not lose the man in the maze of alleys and courts of the poor district.  
The gardener entered a public-house on Mill bank with Robert close on his heels, he walked straight to a table in a corner where a woman was sitting down alone with a near-empty bottle of gin in front of her. He did not sit down, he shook his head and just put a purse on the table. She grabbed the purse greedily and told him something, he shook his head again and turned around. Robert had somehow anticipated his movement and he had turned his back to the old man, standing at the counter and ordering a bottle of gin and 2 glasses to be brought to Mary’s table. When he turned around again the gardener was gone.   
Robert hurried to the table and sat in front of Mary before any other interested drinker had noticed her getting a purse. She had hidden it away by the time he got near her table. He could not make out her age, she was probably much younger than she looked. She eyed him suspiciously though,  
‘I am not on the game and I don’t want a drinking pal who can’t pay for his drinks,’ she said,   
‘no need, I’ve got money,’ said Robert, ‘and I know where you are getting yours from. If you answer my questions, I will double what’s in that purse of yours.’   
He saw the suspicion in her eyes again, mixed with the desire for more money. John brought her money occasionally, but every time she feared that it was going to be the last. She could see how disgusted he was by her appearance, he used to talk to her at the beginning, they were close in the old times, at Lady Alexis’s maiden home, but not any longer. His visits got shorter and shorter. Now he did not even bother to sit or talk except for telling her when he would come again. Also, he was getting old she realised and when he could no longer come, she doubted that Lady Alexis would trust someone else with this mission.  
This man was not dressed like a gentleman, she suspected that he had followed John, but after all, what harm in answering his questions and telling the truth, she was paying for a mistake she had not committed and even if Lady Alexis was helping her out, it was her fault and hers alone if Mary’s life had become so miserable. So, if she could get some more financial compensation out of the Indian mess as she called it, why not.  
‘Ask away, but I am not promising I’ll answer all. And let me see your money first.’  
Robert took out his purse and showed her the content. She whistled through her teeth and nodded.  
‘Tell me what happened in India; why were you accused of not helping Lady Alexis and who reported the rape story?’  
Mary laughed ironically, ‘is that all, you don’t ask much do you?’  
‘All right, triple what’s in the purse then, but I want the whole story.’  
At that point a serving girl put a full bottle of gin and 2 glasses on their table. Mary did not comment, but she filled the glasses, took a long drink and started her story.  
She told him of the love affair between the unhappily married Lady Alexis Alconbury and the handsome French Admiral. She told Robert of how, time and time again, she had warned her ladyship against this folly, but to no avail. Then one night, Lady Alconbury had told her maid that she was going to follow her lover on his ship and Mary had done her best to make her change her mind. She had talked of the devastation this act would mean to her family, reminded her of her sister and her brothers who were not yet married, it would destroy their hopes of future happiness, and what of her father, he would be ruined financially when his daughter’s treason came to light. Lady Alconbury had apparently weighted Mary’s words during the night and decided to let her lover sail without her.   
On the next morning, when the Frenchman arrived Mary was to stop him entering her Lady’s rooms. But he got angry with her, had pushed passed her and entered, nevertheless. Mary did not hear what they had said to each other, she heard some arguing, but when she saw the Admiral rush out of the bedroom pressing on his neck with his hand where blood was flowing through his fingers, she had screamed and rushed to her Lady’s side expecting the worst. She had found her standing by her dressing table with a pair of scissors in her hand, stunned, but otherwise unharmed.   
At this point Mary poured herself another glass of gin and Robert interrupted her gently,  
‘No rape, then?’  
‘Oh no, she had always welcomed him to her bed. That particular morning, they argued for sure, but her clothes were not disturbed when I entered the room, I doubt he even touched her.’  
‘So why the rape accusation, her husband did not need to know, he was not even on the island at the time.’  
‘No, he only arrived 3 months later. But how else could she explain being with child other than with a rape story? One of the officers from the East Indiaman had heard the shouts and the commotion when the Admiral entered her rooms forcibly, then he had seen him rush out with blood over him. Some servants testified of this as well to Lord Alconbury after he questioned them when his wife said she had been raped and had tried to defend herself by stabbing her aggressor. His lordship decided to leave the island immediately, before the pregnancy became visible. He had arrived with a naval squadron and one of the frigates was going back to England. He managed to convince the captain to give him, his wife and I a passage. Her ladyship was forbidden to leave the cabin at any time. It was a terrible voyage for her. She nearly gave birth on board. When we got to Plymouth his lordship rented a cottage, I found a nurse, and after her delivery they left for London, leaving me with a little money to look after the baby until other arrangements could be made. The boy was registered under my name as mother, father unknown. I had to tell the registrar that I had been raped by a sailor in India. A few months later, her brother came and took the child away. I returned to London expecting to continue serving her, but his Lordship dismissed me without references because I had not managed to protect his wife and because people had been alerted to the incident by my screams. He threatened my life if I said anything about the child. I was given money to compensate, but it went quickly so last year I went to the house asking for help from her ladyship. She gave me money and promised that more would come. That’s it.’  
‘And you don’t know who told the story about the rape?’  
‘No, but there were plenty who heard the commotion, the officer of the East Indiaman who witnessed the admiral’s departure could have told the other officers over a glass, you know, it was a good story, her ladyship was held as both a victim and a courageous woman because she stabbed her aggressor. There were so many other unsavoury stories told about the French Admiral at that time, one of those officers could have wanted to add this bit of juicy tale to blacken the man’s name further.’  
Robert thought about it, he doubted that he would be able to learn for real who had spilled the beans, unless his friend in the newspapers could come up with a name. He ruled out the husband of course, he had obviously no interest at all in the story being revealed, even if his wife was deemed a heroin for stabbing the Frenchman, he would have preferred the incident to remain untold. Robert understood the husband’s anger and frustration, his pride was wounded, the couple had been married for several years without children born and after one rape his wife had given birth to a boy. And Robert had now discovered that she had not borne any children since.   
Robert decided to leave it at that. He still did not understand why Mr. Kermor was so interested in the story to the extent of spending quite a lot of money for learning more. Robert thought that it was probably a good idea to find out what had happened to the baby in case his client asked. Mary told him what she knew, lady Alconbury’s brother was going to have the child reared in the country, she did not know any more nor if he had survived his first years. She agreed to give Robert the name of her ladyship’s brother. Robert thanked her and, suddenly, just before he left, he asked one more question. Thinking back, he could not say what made him ask:   
‘What did Mersac look like?’  
‘Oh, he was quite a dish, young, tall, handsome, with thick black hair and the most beautiful green eyes you’ve ever seen the likes of,’ she said.  
Robert thanked her and left. He’d had a really good day; he had not gained the full answer to the mission he was being paid for, but at least he now knew why he had been given the mission. ‘I wonder if Lord Trewin knows who his friend really is.’ He mused. Anyway, time to write a long overdue report to his infamous client.  
Chapter 19 – 1816 - late June Porthdows/London  
Yannick had plenty to do, even with the help of Jonathan there were still a lot of matters concerning the estate that required his attentions and decisions had to be taken all the time. Hadrian received reports from his own estate regularly and he discovered that although his new steward was doing a good job, he had, same as Yannick, still quite a lot of information to learn and decisions to take, especially if he was going to improve the estate’s finances. The children also took a lot of Yannick’s time. He had always implicated himself in their studies and made himself available with a listening ear whenever they needed it. Miss Leary had been most stupefied by this. It was the first time she had seen a father take so much interest in his children other than for the nightly presentation before saying good night. She had been concerned that a too much interfering father could be a problem, but it turned out not to be the case.   
She thoroughly enjoyed living at Rosemarkie, she had the best of both worlds, she could retire to her private apartment and stay quietly on her own when she needed to, and she also had the opportunity for intelligent conversation with her employer and his friend. She was not fooled by the term friend to describe Lord Vernon, of course. The true nature of their relationship was obvious to her and she envied them. At school she had been in love with the lovely Amber, but her friend had chosen to marry; they had never been more than close friends although she was sure that Amber had guessed her true feelings towards her.   
Hadrian frowned as he read the letter sent by his solicitor in London. The letter accompanied a large wad of documents he had put aside, expecting that the letter would explain what they were. He was not wrong. He discovered that his father had an ongoing dispute with one of the neighbours of his country estate. It had been going on for several years apparently, each side trying to ascertain the property over a field.   
The solicitor explained that Hadrian’s father had all documents ready to prove his ownership of the land in case he needed to go to court if the neighbour pressed his suit and it now looked as the man was ready to do so. The solicitor was forwarding them to Hadrian to look at, and to inform him that a court hearing was now planned. The lawyer was not happy with the letters which were supposed to prove ownership of the land by the Vernon estate, and he doubted that the case would be won. The letters reported hearsay only of the ownership, the official document mentioning the sale of this patch of land to Vernon was missing. He needed Hadrian to examine the documents and advise him.   
When Yannick came back from his visit to the copper mine, he found his lover in the library engrossed deeply in studying one of the many letters and maps scattered around him. Hadrian looked up and sighed,   
‘I don’t understand half of what’s written on these,’ he said, ‘I can’t decide what to do at distance. I am afraid I need to go to London and talk to my solicitor.’  
‘Some things can’t be avoided, when do you need to leave?’  
‘As soon as possible really, there is a court hearing in 2 weeks, and it will take one week to get to London; I also need time to understand all this and talk to my solicitor.’ He hesitated then asked, ’do you think you could be sparred here in Rosemarkie for a while? I mean you could come with me and we could take Charley, Meredith and Miss Leary for a pedagogic visit, what do you think?’  
‘That it’s a grand idea. But I can’t see us able to get organised to leave before at least a day or two. Of course, you could leave tomorrow by post chaise and we will follow with the coach and luggage.’  
Hadrian beamed: ‘Yes, I’ll take my servant with me and get my housekeeper to open the house in London ready for your arrival. We’ll make a holiday of this as well as getting this ghastly business out of the way.’  
With this easy decision taken, they left the library to make the appropriate arrangements, Hadrian with his valet while Yannick went to see Miss Leary to inform her of this sudden travel plan. He interrupted the lesson and asked to see her on her own to Charley and Meredith’s surprise. It was the first time he had ever done this, and he hastened to give them a reassuring smile before closing the door behind Miss Leary.   
He explained the need for an urgent journey to London and his wish to bring her and the children along, did she have any reservation about the project. Miss Leary told him that she had been to London twice before, but it was a long time ago and she was delighted at the idea of being able to take the children through the streets, parks and museum, , showing them the sites of historical events. It was the kind of lessons she thought they would remember for a long time. Yannick informed her that he wished to leave the day after tomorrow if feasible, and he decided to let her have the pleasure to tell Charley and Meredith while he was seeking out Loïk and Simona for the other arrangements to be made. As he was entering the kitchen to find his loyal servants, he heard the shouts of delights coming from the classroom telling him the intended visit met with approval.  
Early next morning, Hadrian departed in the phaeton. He should be able to make it to London in 3 or 4 days. He was travelling with John, his valet, and a postillion and only a light travel bag. He slept most of the morning in the carriage as he had not slept much on the previous night. It was the first time the lovers were to be separated for a few days and neither of them liked the idea. They had made love most of the night, dosing on and off in-between passionate embraces and the morning had seen them spent and sad at the thought of the lonely nights awaiting them for at least one week.  
It was only just over 3 months since Hadrian had made the journey from London, in the company of Yannick for the latest part, so it was no time at all really and yet he felt as if he had known the man he was leaving behind for ever. He knew he could never live his life now if Yannick was not part of it, and it was not just his lover either, he also loved the children, and the manor had become his home without a doubt, far more so than the mansion he was going to live in for the next few days or weeks in London. At least he wouldn’t be there alone for long, they were going to catch up very soon. During his youth, Hadrian had not spent much time at the Berkeley square house. His brother and himself had been living at the country estate for most of the year, it was there that he had discovered his attraction for other men. His teacher in the art of love had been a handsome young groom with whom he had a passionate affair. This affair had been his downfall: his father and elder brother had discovered the two lovers in the stables, with Hadrian thrusting in the bent over groom lustily. Hadrian still shivered when he recalled the aftermath: his father screaming at the groom and ordering him off the estate immediately before beating Hadrian black and blue with his crop then locking him up in his bedroom for days. He had not seen anyone and had not known what fate had been decided for him until he had been told of the arrangements made to enrol him in the Royal navy. Hadrian had unexpectedly enjoyed life at sea. He had been older than most youths were when starting a career in the navy as midshipman, but he had showed abilities and courage which had helped him climb the ranks to lieutenant, serving on several ships of the line before he was given command of the frigate Lysis in Sir Philip’s squadron bound for Indian waters where his life had changed for ever after meeting a certain handsome French Rear Admiral.  
The man Hadrian was dreaming of did not have the luxury of sleeping on in the morning of Hadrian’s departure even though he needed his sleep just as much as his lover. The household staff was not large enough that he did not need to supervise the journey and plan for his own departure. The butler would keep the house running, any private letters arriving for Yannick were to be redirected to London, Jonathan would see to that, and Tamsin would keep an eye on the maids. Simona and Loïk saw to the clothes, and to all necessaries for the travel. Yannick insisted for the coach be thoroughly examined before undertaking the long journey, he had no desire to risk a broken axle or other problem on the road. Yannick was going to bring with him Loïk and Simona, the coachman and a groom. Loïk would sit outside and Yannick, Miss Leary, Simona and the children inside.   
Next, he spent some time with Jonathan, the steward could run the estate on his own, he had proved this in the past, but he was now also given the task of looking into the warehouse and shop in Falmouth as well as to the copper mine, the new clay mine and the fishery business. Yannick trusted his managers, but it would do no harm if the men knew Jonathan was also in the picture.   
Then he wrote to Louis to tell him that he would be in London for an unknown period of time. He hoped that they could meet there and maybe return to Rosemarkie together if the young man still intended to spend his summer holidays in Cornwall. Louis had kept a steady correspondence with his brother since they had met in Oxford. He intended to go to Rosemarkie during the summer holidays, but he had not talked about this to his parents yet. He was pretty sure that his mother was not going to like it, furthermore his father had mentioned wanting to spend the summer at Térouanne this year. He had not seen Alexander and Anne-Laure again since the family reunion which had so upset his father, and Alexander was unaware of how close he now was to Yannick, presumably Anne-Laure was not either. Louis had the feeling of being devious towards his loving family, and he hated it but right now he couldn’t see an easy way out of it. Yannick’s letter relieved him of his immediate worries. Seeing that it had been posted only one or two days before Yannick had left Cornwall, he rejoiced in the fact that he would see his brother and meet his children in the next few days and that they could talk further about their summer plan then.  
The party was able to leave on the next day after lunch. Miss Leary had several books with her in the coach and if Charley and Meredith had expected that the journey would be lesson-free they were mistaken. They read the books aloud taking it in turn, Miss Leary kept them attentive because she had a list of questions and conversation topics related to each book. Yannick and even Simona joined in in the question/answer game and time passed much quicker this way. The roads were bad, the severe winter and the continuous rain in the spring had not helped, and so far, June did not show signs of better summer months to come neither. The journey was taking for ever. They stopped in comfortable posting-houses for the nights and because the horses needed changing every 20 miles or so, they were able to get out of the coach fairly often to stretch their legs.   
When they reached London, Miss Leary couldn’t hold their attention any longer, there was too much to see by the carriage windows, the spectacle in the streets was far too interesting to be missed. It was getting very late and Yannick did not know the way to Hadrian’s house and neither did his coachman, so he chose to spend one last night in a posting-house rather than getting lost in London all night. Next day, he engaged the service of a driver who knew his way around the city and after breakfast, they set off for the last leg of this long trip.


	20. summer 1816

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discovering Hadrian's house in London; Working on the court case.

The butler welcomed them, and they entered a large entrance hall with a grand staircase at the end. His lordship was locked in the study with his solicitor, informed the butler, but he had left instructions, they were to be shown their bedrooms where their bags would be brought to them, they could refresh themselves after the journey then a collation would be served in the sitting room.   
The travellers made their way upstairs, admiring the beautifully painted ceiling and the portraits hanging on the wall on their way up to the second floor. On the landing they were separated, a chambermaid led Miss Leary, Charley and Simona towards the ladies’ wing of the House while a footman took Meredith and Loïk to the opposite side to the gentlemen’s wing. John, Hadrian’s valet took Yannick to a room in the family wing.   
The large bedroom had a distinctly feminine decoration with light floral wall hanging and curtains predominantly pink, white and soft green. The dainty furniture was exquisite, painted white and gold. He couldn’t help making an amusing sound as he discovered the décor.  
‘Her ladyship’s room, sir, it’s the best room after his Lordship’s, but of course if you don’t like it, we can move you to another one in the gentlemen’s wing.’  
‘No, that’s fine it will do very nicely, thank you.’ Yannick replied with a smile. He had no doubt that if Hadrian had chosen this room for him, he must have had an excellent reason to do so. At Rosemarkie, Hadrian’s official rooms used to be the lady’s rooms also. Yannick had had them completely redecorated to his lover’s taste, including changing the feminine furniture, although Hadrian spent hardly any time there at all.  
John showed the closet to Yannick, telling him that hot water was on its way up, he closed the bedroom door behind him, and Yannick was left alone. He waited for the water and his trunk to be brought to him before trying to open a door which blended so well with the wall decoration that it was nearly invisible. When he did turn the doorknob, it opened, and he found what he had expected: his Lordship bedroom with in its centre a huge poster bed adorned with red and gold velvet curtains. Nothing feminine about this room for sure. Satisfied that he would not need to risk getting caught in the corridor at night going in or out of his lover’s room, he retired to his pretty bedroom to refresh himself.  
Downstairs, Charley and Meredith were already in the sitting room tucking into sandwiches and dainty cakes laid out for them. Loïk and Simona were a little disappointed to be in separate rooms and Yannick told them that this could probably be arranged as the housekeeper might not have known that they were married. Miss Leary was the last to come down, she had been admiring the portraits on the staircase wall, and the housekeeper had obliged her by telling her who they were.She had spent a long time in front of the portrait of the 2 young grandsons recently deceased as she told Miss Leary of the terrible accident which had caused the death of his Lordship, his elder son and his 2 grandsons just a few months ago. When Miss Leary enquired about her Ladyship and the boys’ mother, she was told they had retired to the country to mourn the untimely passing of their husbands and sons.   
The housekeeper, Mrs Harvey, was a lady in her fifties, she had been in the service of the family all her life, starting as a chambermaid and eventually becoming housekeeper. She had not hesitated to stay on at the London house after Hadrian’s father’s death. She remembered Hadrian as a child and had seen him being thrown out of the country house and never welcomed again during his father’s lifetime. She did not know what Hadrian had done to deserve such a harsh punishment from his family; she had always liked him, he was such a pleasant lad, so very different from his arrogant older brother who was mimicking their father in every way. Her ladyship had been a distant woman, caring mainly for her role in high society and for the latest fashion of the day. She had ignored the domestics except when something had displeased her. She had not returned to the house since her husband’s death and Mrs Harvey knew for a fact that the new lord had forbidden his mother to visit.   
When Hadrian had asked Mrs Harvey if she’d like to remain in the London house, she had not hesitated at all. Although living in an empty and mostly closed house was not her idea of a happy life, the alternative could have been to accept an offer from her ladyship to take over the running of her new household. Mrs Harvey knew that the lady had little means now, and she had guessed that she would have ended up doing all the chores in the little house Hadrian had given her mother to live in with her daughter-in-law and her young daughter in the country. No doubt that her ladyship’s temper had not improved with her much diminished social status.  
These quiet and somewhat boring days while Lord Vernon was living in the country with a friend, suddenly changed drastically when he appeared one afternoon, giving instructions for the house to be opened and ready for his guests. Mrs Harvey immediately took to the visitors who had followed his lordship’s arrival a few days later, the 2 youngsters especially gained her approval, the girl was so pretty and bright, Mrs Harvey had never seen such a happy lively young soul. The boy was much quieter, he was thoughtful with kind eyes. At first, she found herself wary of their father’s striking good looks, she had met very handsome men and women before at parties organised by her late employer and found them generally rather full of themselves. She discovered within minutes that Mr. Kermor was nothing of the sort. He showed her respect and his smiles were genuine. And he was besotted with his children. That alone earned him her heart. And, of course they loved her cakes and kept complimenting her for them and thanking her for the lovely welcome. She thought ruefully that Lord Vernon’s guests had given her more thanks in one day that she had ever received in all the years she had served the late Lord’s family.   
Later in the afternoon, Hadrian emerged from his study after seeing his solicitor out. His tired eyes light up immediately when he saw Yannick sitting in the drawing room. They gave each other a chaste friendly hug and Yannick enquired about Hadrian’s sessions with his solicitor after answering his lover’s questions regarding their journey and accommodation in the house. Hadrian fixed them a drink and explained to Yannick the difficulties with the legal case. The late Lord Vernon had objected to his neighbour’s claim and had treated the man with his usual arrogance, dismissing his claim and forgetting about it. The trouble was that his neighbour had not let the matter rest, he had built his case and got a date for the hearing from the court.   
The estate’s solicitor had only found out about the claim when he had received the letter from the court. He had assembled all the documents he could find at the London house but had needed Hadrian to help him sort out the land registry documents and the purchase contracts dating back 200 years. It was a huge task sieving through the old documents to find the ones related to the ownership of this small piece of disputed land.  
They now had only 5 days left before the court hearing to examine the remaining pile and prepare their defence. Yannick offered to help them, Miss Leary could care for the children and take them out, Loïk and Simona would help with the youngsters too. Hadrian accepted gladly, Yannick presence helped him relax, he also knew that his mind was going to have a blessed relief from thinking about the case tonight as he intended to concentrate all his attentions solely on his lover’s gorgeous body.   
They retired early, each in their respective bedroom for convention sake as well as for safety. Among the servants only Hadrian’s valet knew of their relationship and Hadrian could not risk gossips. He did not have to wait for long for Yannick to knock on his door, Hadrian opened, naked, and cupping Yannick’s face in his hands he gave him the deep, passionate kiss he had been dreaming of since he had seen him sitting down in the drawing room earlier. Yannick’s arms went around him, his body, also naked, pushing his hips sensually against Hadrian’s while answering to his hungry kiss. Somehow, they managed to make it to the large canopied bed without breaking their kiss and they fell on it in a tangle of limbs, their hands caressing or scratching, fingers entangled in hair, breaking their kiss on hot lips only for kissing and sucking other areas of skin that took their fancy until Yannick managed to push Hadrian firmly onto his back and straddled him. His mouth moved to Hadrian’s nipples while one hand reached lower down, caressing and squeezing his private parts. Hadrian let him, his hands in his lover’s hair, enjoying his lover taking the active role in their lovemaking this night. Yannick’s mouth moved lower down, his other hand was now teasing Hadrian’s nipples in turn while his mouth was getting very low down indeed, in fact Hadrian felt his cock caressing Yannick’s neck and chin and his hands bunched up on his lover’s hair suddenly when he felt the touch of Yannick’s lips on the head of his cock. His whole body had stiffened in reaction,   
‘What are you doing,’ he asked in a strangled voice.  
‘I would have thought that it was fairly obvious. Of course, if you dislike it, I’ll stop.’  
‘I don’t know if I like it, I never tried.’   
Yannick did not reply; his tongue teased the head again before taking it gently into his mouth. Hadrian moaned softly; his hands tangled in Yannick’s hair. Satisfied that Hadrian seemed to enjoy his ministration, Yannick continued pleasuring his lover with his tongue and taking the throbbing cock deeper and deeper into his mouth. Hadrian’s moans and sighs clearly indicated his enjoyment until he uttered a ‘stop’, his hands pushing on his lover’s shoulders. Yannick looked up, surprised,  
‘I thought you were nearly there,’ he said, ‘why do you want me to stop?’  
‘I am nearly there yes, if you keep this going, I won’t be able to control myself and….’ He did not finish his words.  
Yannick smiled, ‘my love, I don’t want you to control yourself, I want to taste you, I want you to fill my mouth just like you fill my arse. Humour me tonight please, then if you find it distasteful, I promise I will never speak of doing this again.’  
Hadrian returned his hands to Yannick’s head and pulled him back to him. He did not even last for one minute before spending into Yannick’s mouth, his whole-body trembling as he felt Yannick’s tongue lick him clean lazily and thoroughly, his own hands still tangled in the silken hair below; he closed his eyes and let his body slowly drift to sleep. Yannick smiled fondly at the helpless sleeping man beside him and pleasured himself, his head resting on his lover’s chest, a first since they had got together, Hadrian had always seen to his pleasure before.   
The total silence and the darkness of the room told Yannick that this was 4.00 am and that he should, regretfully, leave Hadrian’s bed and go to his. After years spent in the navy with his life regulated by the bell signalling the time and the change of watch every 4 hours, he still woke up regularly every 4 hours. The previous evening, they had discussed the necessity to be in separate rooms in the morning. Servants came in at 8.00 am to bring coffee, open the drapes and tend the fire if needed and it would have been suspicious to have asked them not to do so without the usual exceptions of a very late-night party or a return home in the early hours.A light kiss on his lover’s cheek and he was gone, Hadrian had not moved, he was sleeping soundly, he had not woken up after his initial slumber. Yannick had told him before how lucky he was to have broken the 4 hourly routine and be able to sleep through the night.   
They met in the dining room to break their fast with the others. Charley and Meredith were planning their day with Miss Leary, starting with a visit to the British museum. Charley wished to copy the characters engraved on the Rosetta stone while Meredith had a new sketch book he intended to fill with drawings. Yannick was to work with Hadrian and his solicitor and help with the search in the estate’s documents.   
Hadrian’s worry was that, with his father being so disorganised, the relevant document might have been misplaced and had remained at the country estate house. The solicitor had done his best to reassure him, he had supervised the collecting of the archives himself, none were left at the country house. All documents relevant to deeds for buying and selling lands had been set apart, organised by dates and read thoroughly but none had mentioned the buying of this specific portion of land.   
The neighbour had claimed that the land had never been sold and that the land registry documents must have been falsely altered 200 years ago. He claimed that it had been done wilfully and intentionally to rob his estate and therefore wanted not only his land back but also financial compensation for 200 years of wrongful occupation. For Hadrian it was a dreadful prospect, his father’s extravagances had crippled the estate, he had done his best to save money and try to improve the situation and pay the loans the old man had taken against the value of the estate, but he knew that he could not sustain such a large claim.   
Hadrian was surprised to notice a look of displeasure on his solicitor’s face when he introduced Yannick and informed him that he was going to help in the search. Yannick noticed also; he told the solicitor that he had acquired some experience in looking through documents at his own estate and would not hinder the search. Hadrian explained that they had sieved through the documents going back to 200 years and had discarded letters and notes that did not contain financial matters. Looking at the pile of discarded documents, Yannick offered to go through it in case something had been missed. The solicitor remarked that it would be a waste of time to do so, they were very short of time, he reminded them, he himself had looked before Lord Vernon’s arrival.  
Yannick had disliked the solicitor at first glance. Something Hadrian had said to him niggled him and the man’s attitude reinforced his suspicions that the solicitor was not as helpful as he should be. He had not wanted to vent his thoughts to Hadrian because his lover was worried enough as it was, but he was going to follow his idea, nevertheless. He smiled to the man and said pleasantly:  
‘I understand, sir, that yourself and his Lordship are going to search through the relevant documents once more, so why not do so with the discarded pile also, just in case. I will not hinder your search this way.’  
‘But these documents are mostly private letters, meant for his Lordship’s eyes only.’  
‘Come on, sir,’ interfered Hadrian, ’we are looking at documents which are at least 200 years old, it does not matter if private matters are read by someone who is not family. Go ahead, Ian, see if we’ve missed something.’  
Yannick sat down in front of the pile, it was not a large one, but the writing on some of the letters was going to be a challenge, he noticed. He also noticed after leafing through the first pages that the documents were not even filed by date. It increased his suspicions that the solicitor had not be very rigorous, if he had leafed through the letters, why not put them in order at the same time, he wondered. His dislike of the man led him to say:   
‘It is most strange is it not that the late Lord Vernon would receive a legal claim threatening court action without informing his solicitor. Maybe you were not his solicitor at the time?’  
‘Mr. Marriot has been my father’s solicitor for as far as I can remember,’ answered Hadrian, he looked at Mr. Marriot and asked, ‘it is strange that this claim was not brought to your attention. My father wanted to control everything, but he knew naught about legal business and was he relying on you. Are you sure you did not know that this claim was still outstanding after my father’s death?’   
‘I don’t remember his lordship ever mentioning it,’ answered Marriot, ‘it must have slipped his Lordship’s mind at the time.’  
‘It must have,’ said Hadrian, not wishing to upset Marriot, but the seed of suspicion had been planted in his mind and he had his lover to thank for it. He glanced at him, going through the letters quickly, putting some in a neat pile and in chronological order and discarding the ones showing a date posterior to the ones when the land registry had been changed.   
They worked in silence until lunch was called. Mr. Marriot shared their lunch, it was a quiet affair, Yannick did not feel like partaking in small talks with the solicitor, so Hadrian rushed the lunch on the argument that they did not have a lot of time to spare. Mr. Marriot could only acquiesce. Yannick had finished organising the letters and he was now reading them carefully. He knew that Marriot disapproved and thought that he was wasting his time. He did not care. He was somehow sure that someone must have mentioned the property sale somewhere. To be sold by its owner, this piece of land had to have been unentailed. It was not common, someone in the family must have talked about it at some point if only to explain why the purchase had been made. It was not a large patch by any mean, but it was nicely situated, at a place where a small river formed a U bend inside the claimant’s estate. Before the land registry had been changed, the claimant, Mr Tanner, had owned that piece of land inside the U bend and therefore had full ownership of both banks of the river which now protruded in Vernon land. Mr Tanner still had ownership of the bank on his side of the property of course, but one could see that to own both banks at this particular spot must have been be very advantageous. He could have a mill built there if he wished for example, building on both banks. It was easy to see why Mr Tanner was suspicious of his ancestor giving up such an advantage.   
Yannick discovered that the claimant’s family had made their money in trade and had bought land as their fortune had grown. The land was not entailed because tradesmen generally did not agree with a system which forbid them to sell their property if they needed to. Their descendant had obviously decided to redeem this small piece of land to gain full use of the river at this spot. Yannick plodded on, reading letters after letters and becoming more and more despondent as time passed and his pile diminished without finding a clue. He had now started to read letters sent 5 years before the land changed hands and he doubted that he could find relevant information so far back in time. Hadrian and Marriot did not turn up anything new either. He sighed and opened one more, deciding that it was going to be the last one for the day. He had a headache and needed a break.   
His attention was immediately caught because the sender was the claimant’s ancestor and this letter was addressed to the daughter of Lord Vernon’s family. He read the letter carefully, once, twice, making sure he understood it properly before letting out a triumphant ‘YES, GOT IT!’ He handed the letter to Hadrian with a big grin on his face.  
Hadrian read it, his eyebrows lifting as he did so, then he passed it on to Marriot.  
It was a sad and long letter in which Mr. Tanner was revealing to Lady Sophie why he had refused to let his eldest son marry her. His son had now died at war after he had run away from the estate and from his father after he had told him that he couldn’t marry Lady Sophie because she was his half-sister. Mr. Tanner and Sophie’s mother, Lady Vernon, had had a passionate love affair and Sophie was the result of the adultery. Lord Vernon had been away at the time, but he had acknowledged the child as his own to avoid gossip. Mr. Tanner was writing to tell her the story and inform her that he was bequeathing to her in his will the small piece of land where himself and her mother used to meet, in a small cottage by the river bank. Because the land registry change was dated 5 years after the letter, they assumed that Mr. Tanner had died 5 years after the letter had been sent. Hadrian charged his solicitor with a request to have Mr. Tanner’s will produced in court from public records to confirm or not the words of his letter. The letter would be produced of course to justify their request.  
They had found what looked like the answer unless Mr. Tanner had effectively changed his mind later with a new will, but it was very unlikely because the land had been registered to Lord Vernon’s estate the year after Tanner’s death. It all tallied very nicely. They still had 4 days to spare.   
Hadrian took it upon himself to go and visit Mr. Tanner this very day and suggest that he withdraw from the impending lawsuit and save himself some money. He also intended to stress that producing in court a letter revealing his ancestor’s love affair with a lord’s wife would not do his or Lord Vernon’s families’ reputations any good at all.   
Mr. Marriot and Yannick accompanied him, to serve as witnesses in case Mr. Tanner was difficult. Tanner was not at home; they were received by his solicitor who had not known that the land had been transferred by will 200 years earlier. The claim was an old obsession of the present Mr Tanner’s late father and the solicitor promised to look into the old will the next day and if Lord Vernon was right then he would convince his client to drop the case. He promised to let them know on the morrow.  
Hadrian and Yannick returned to the house where a surprise awaited Yannick.


	21. summer 1816

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Louis in London, Robert's investigations results reach Yannick

The butler informed his lordship that his guest had a visitor who had insisted in waiting for him. He ceremoniously handed a card to Yannick. A large smile light his face:  
‘It’s Louis, my brother,’ he told Hadrian, ‘I am so glad he got my letter.’  
They entered the sitting room where they found Louis, Meredith and Charley bent over Meredith’s sketch book and talking excitedly. They did not even lift their heads when the two men entered, Yannick had to cough loudly. They got up and beamed at him. Louis and Yannick embraced each other:  
‘I see that you’ve met my off-springs, are they tiring you out?’   
‘Of course not, I’m so pleased you’re all in London, are you staying long?’  
Yannick turned to Hadrian and introduced the 2 men to each other, then he explained to Louis that the court case which was the reason for their London visit might be cancelled after all, they would know tomorrow. Seeing the worried look on Charley and Meredith’s faces, Hadrian said:  
‘We can stay in London for as long as we wish even if the court case is cancelled, London will be deserted soon, the ‘ton’ will leave for the country we will have the town for ourselves.’   
The children and Louis asked questions about the court case. Hadrian praised Yannick for finding the letter which had probably resolved it all. Meredith, always the romantic one, wondered what had happened to the unhappy Sophie, did Hadrian know anything about the girl, was there a portrait of her somewhere. Hadrian promised to look into it, asking Meredith if he was planning to write a novel on this unfortunate love affair.  
‘I doubt Mr. Tanner would be happy if the story was told, I know my mother would not like it,’ warned Hadrian.  
‘Oh, yes, I’m sorry, Hadrian, I did not think, Lady Sophie was one of your ancestors,’  
‘You could change the names and times, no one would guess, I will let you have the family bible and the private letters if you want to research the story,’  
‘Thank you, I would like that, I like delving into family histories.’  
Hadrian smiled and promised to help Meredith the next day, he invited Louis to stay for dinner which was about to be served.   
It was a lively dinner; Louis was a Londoner and he loved his town. He was careful to avoid upsetting Miss Leary and promised to be their guide for places of entertainment and only if she approved.   
Louis left the house very late, he promised to be back next day early in the afternoon and take them to Hyde park. Miss Leary asked to be excused from the outing, she had lessons and visits to plan for the rest of the week. As they retired to bed, Hadrian told his butler that he did not wish for him or for his guest to be awoken in the morning, they were tired after a hard day and a long evening and wished to sleep in.  
Yannick had woken up at 4.00 as usual but he had stayed in Hadrian’s bed this time. It was so good to wake up and not need to leave the bed. He had looked at his lover’s face and had kissed him tenderly, putting one arm around his waist and his head on his chest. He had tried not to wake him up but had not succeeded, Hadrian had drawn him closer into his arms before sliding his fingers in his hair to start with. One caress had led to another and Yannick had found himself where he wanted to be most, laying on his side, held tightly in his lover’s arms, with Hadrian moving sweetly inside him, his arm round his waist and his hand caressing his arousal. He had come first as usual; he knew Hadrian preferred it, he suspected that his lover still felt a proud feeling of conquest at bringing a French Admiral to surrender in his arms.   
When Yannick woke up again, he guessed from muffled noises both from inside the house and outside that it was late. He enjoyed feeling Hadrian’s body curled up behind his after they had fallen asleep in the early hours, his right arm still around his waist. Yannick did not move this time round, just content to be lying there, he would let Hadrian sleep, not disturb him again even though his own body was now fully awake, and desire had returned once more.   
‘Wanton,’ murmured a sultry voice in his ear as the hand wrapped around his waist started to move lower down and caress his erection. He moaned contentedly and nudged his body against Hadrian’s seeking the closest possible contact. Afterwards, Yannick returned to his room, he opened his bed, jumped on it a few times and punched his pillows, just in case it was not Loïk or John who attended him, before he rang for hot water to wash and shave. He came down at 10.30 to break his fast. He was on his own, the children were in the study with Miss Leary; Hadrian, he suspected, had gone back to sleep and it was too early for Louis to turn up yet.   
There was a letter waiting for him, forwarded from Rosemarkie. He did not recognize the writing on the envelope. He helped himself to some food from the dresser and sat down with a cup of coffee before opening it.  
It was from Robert Fellowes. The letter was not long, Robert wished to meet Yannick when possible to discuss a future course of action if any. He resumed briefly what he had found: the absence of rape, the lady’s pregnancy, the probable source of the revelation still to be confirmed. It was a shock. Yannick had not envisaged that Alexis could have fallen pregnant, he had taken precaution against this risk by always withdrawing himself before climax. He had thought, foolishly, that it was enough. So now he understood the allegations; because Alexis had chosen to remain with her husband, she had needed to give him an explanation to explain her condition. He remembered the awful morning only too well: the shock and the pain as she had stabbed him in the neck, her wide horrified eyes as she saw the blood oozing from the wound. He had recoiled violently, his own eyes unbelieving that she could have done such a thing, that she could have been afraid of him. He had fled, his eyes blurry, his hand pressing on the heavily bleeding wound. He had passed her maid in the corridor and he vaguely remembered a door opening further down with a voice calling out. He had not thought that the commotion could have been reported as a rape of Lady Alexis, but of course if she had wanted to explain her pregnancy to her husband, it was perfect.  
He put the letter down, he had to think. Hadrian walked in, wished him good morning with a wink and settled down opposite him to eat. Yannick looked at him a little dazedly. A footman came in to enquire if the gentlemen needed anything else and after he left Hadrian asked:  
‘What’s wrong, you look troubled.’  
‘I told you about hiring an investigator, he has written to me,’ Yannick handed the letter to Hadrian, ‘it’s quite a surprise.’  
Hadrian read the letter and looked up, ‘so I see. Your man is in London, you want to go and meet him soon I presume?’  
‘I do. Today actually. I need more information on the child. Can you accompany me?’  
‘The least I can do. I would like to wait until I know if Mr. Tanner is withdrawing from the court case though if you don’t mind.’  
‘Of course not, his solicitor promised an answer today and if it’s too late we can go to Robert Fellowes’ tomorrow.’  
‘I doubt your Mr. Fellowes will mind if you turn up late, you know, he doesn’t even know that you’re in London.’  
Yannick smiled, ‘thanks, looks like our London holidays is going to be quite busy.’  
A footman knocked and entered the room, ‘a letter for you my Lord, privately delivered.’ Hadrian broke the seal and a large smile appeared on his face.  
‘Mr. Fellowes will get an early visit, my friend, the court case is cancelled; Mr. Tanner sends his apologies. He is inviting me to his place for dinner tomorrow night, he wishes to know what happened to his by-blow ancestor, if she had children later.’  
‘And do you know?’  
‘No, I was going to give the family papers to Meredith and leave the research to him as he seemed so interested yesterday.’  
‘Yes, he is, it worries me a little.’  
‘Why?’  
‘I worry that maybe it will make him pine even more for his family history. I haven’t been able to answer his questions about his past. I tried to find out while in India, but I was not able to discover much at all, the area the pirates raided was huge and Meredith did not remember anything at the time; he has only remembered being with his mother when he was abducted after our talk earlier this year, but he could not remember much more. I was not even sure that they had been on board a ship when it happened. The pirates raided the coasts as well as taking ships and some colons had settled on some of the islands. The people we freed from the pirates knew nothing, the pirates did not keep them for long, they were generally sold quickly. Meredith was kept by the band because of the interest the pirate chief had for him. I don’t even know when he was taken, he could have lived with the pirates for weeks, months, furthermore from what he now remembers he had been abducted by a different band who then sold him. I wrote to the East India Company offices in London soon after we arrived in England, but nothing came of it.’  
‘Did they answer to your enquiries?’  
‘Yes, but I was not surprised that their research came to naught. I could not tell them much in the first place and I don’t even know if he was on one of their ships. At the time I did not even know that he was travelling with his mother.’  
Hadrian smiled, ‘another job for the talented Mr. Fellowes?’  
‘I don’t know, it could mean years abroad for nothing. Maybe Meredith will try to discover something when he is older.’  
‘Maybe, and now you are going to want to find out about the baby Lady Alconbury gave birth to.’  
‘Yes, if there is a living child, I will not have him raised by strangers.’  
Hadrian nodded; he had not bothered with questioning his lover’s next course of action. He had known what it was going to be from the moment he’d read the letter.


	22. The children's holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charley and Meredith spend time with their uncle and make an interesting discovery. They are not the only ones to do so ....

Louis arrived after luncheon, Yannick and Hadrian informed him of their change of plan, they had an unexpected errand to run this afternoon, did he mind putting the Hyde Park outing off to another day? Louis looked at the very disappointed faces of his nephew and niece and suggested that he took them on his own to the park, the weather was good today and there was no guarantee that it would last, he said. Yannick agreed, grateful to Louis for his help.  
They left the house together, Yannick and Hadrian to seek Robert Fellowes and Louis and the children to the park, they had enticed Miss Leary to come out with them.   
They walked along the streets chatting happily all the way to Hyde Park. They made their way first to the Italian gardens Louis had described the previous day and that Charley wished to see. Meredith and Miss Leary had taken their sketchbooks with them and Charley was begging them for drawings of the gardens. She was quite adamant that Papa was going to have a similar garden set up for her at Rosemarkie. They kept going, with stops for refreshments, then Louis and Meredith rowed the ladies on the Serpentine before continuing their walk.   
Louis took them all the way to the Round Pond opposite Kensington Gardens. He told them how much he had enjoyed playing with a toy boat on the pond when he was small. There were several children there today playing with their little toy boats. Louis and Miss Leary sat down on a bench while Charley and Meredith looked at the little crafts sailing on the water. Meredith quickly got his sketchbook out to catch the moment while Charley concentrated on the boats.   
She moved along the side of the pond and quickly noticed one of the boats because of its difficulties at making headways. She approached the boy who apparently owned it, he was attempting to push it along with a long cane without success.  
‘It’s not rigged properly,’ said Charley, ‘it can’t catch the wind.’  
The boy who was obviously older than her looked her up and down and said:  
‘And what would a girl know about rigging? I’ll have you know that My father was a frigate captain, Miss,’ he said in a slightly arrogant tone.   
Charley laughed, ’then he must have had a good first lieutenant to manage to leave port if he rigged his ship the way you do yours! I say, let me have a go, what do you have to lose, I only want to help you.’  
The boy looked at her more carefully, her eyes were bright and smiling, she looked kind, without pretense. She was very pretty too, he had started to notice these things. He pulled his boat back to the side of the pond thanks to the hook at the end of his cane and handed it to her.  
‘It’s gorgeous,’ she said, ‘you are lucky.’ First, she wet her index and stuck it in the air, then she started to adjust the little sails, she pulled on the strings to keep the spars at the right angle and secured them before giving the boat back to the boy. He slid it on the water pushing it slightly and got up in amazement when he saw it sail gracefully away on the pond.  
‘I say, you are good, thank you so much. I am Max by the way, how do you do,’ he said with a bow realising that he should have introduced himself to the girl.  
‘I am Charley; how do you do,’ she replied with a curtsy, ‘be careful though, it’s going too far out on the pond.’  
‘That’s all right, I’ll catch it on the other side,’ he said, ‘do you want to come with me?’  
She looked around and saw that Miss Leary had joined Meredith and had moved further away, they were concentrating on Meredith’s drawings, Louis was nearby, sitting alone on a bench looking at some boys playing football on the lawn.   
‘Better ask permission from my uncle,’ she said before calling out: ‘Uncle Louis, can I walk to the other side of the pond please?’  
Louis waved and nodded from his bench and caught his breath when he saw Max. Max was standing still, looking at Louis and frowning:  
‘How can MY uncle Louis be also YOUR uncle Louis?’ He asked Charley. She looked at him, bewildered, and turned towards Louis who was fast approaching them.  
‘Max!’ He said, looking shocked, ‘I thought you were away in the country.’  
‘We are leaving next week.’  
‘And are your parents in the park?’ He asked with a somewhat strangled voice.  
‘Yes Louis, they are,’ answered his sister behind him.   
He cringed and slowly turned around to face Anne-Laure, Alexander and Angela. Charley was looking on with interest. Her quick mind had immediately worked out that this lady must be her father’s sister. Her father had told her of a family quarrel which kept them apart. She did not know the details, but she knew her dear Papa was hurting because of her and that was enough for her. She pulled herself up and said:  
‘I am joining Meredith and Miss Leary, uncle Louis, and don’t worry, we will find our way back to the house without you,’ she curtsied and walked away.  
Anne-Laure had also looked at the girl with interest and she had stiffened when she had looked into the child’s beautiful emerald green eyes. And it was not only the eyes, it was the way she had straightened herself and her defiant tone when she had spoken to Louis and turned around. She reminded her painfully of Jean-Baptiste at the same age, when something had troubled him. Her eyes followed the girl, she had reached a couple and was talking to them. The young man was looking in their direction too now. The lady with the sketchbook in her hands looked unsure as she was listening to the girl’s explanations. She must have agreed with her because all three made their way back to the path away from Anne-Laure.  
Louis pulled himself together quickly, he looked at his sister and said:  
‘Look Laure, I am sorry I can’t explain just now, but I will, I’ll come to your house tonight. Right now, I must catch up, I promised to look after them this afternoon.’  
He turned to leave but she caught his arm and held firm:  
‘Promised who?’  
‘Yannick. Our brother. Please let me go, Laure, I really have to hurry.’  
She did let him go, she watched him run up the path and catch up with the group. He put his arm around the girl’s shoulders and Anne-Laure saw him talk to her until they disappeared from her view.  
She stood there, unsure of herself, wondering if it had really happened or if it was a dream. She had not known that her brother had children for one thing. The girl was obviously his, she also saw an adolescent boy from afar. She did not see his features. He was blond like herself and older than the girl.   
‘Before Louis comes to the house tonight, there’s something I should tell you,’ said Alexander, ‘let’s sit down on the bench; children, go and play, please, give us a moment.’  
And Alexander told her of Louis’s questions after the visit at Térouanne the previous year, of his other visit at their house before Christmas, after the cousins’ visit, of his interest for the half-brother he had never heard of before. Anne-Laure had clearly said that she did not want contact with her brother, but Louis was an adult and he had a right to make up his own mind. Alexander admitted that he helped Louis by giving him the address of the Paris solicitor. He had not spoken to the young man about it since. He had no idea that contact had been made and of course that her brother was in London. She took a few deep breaths. What hurt her most was that Alexander had kept this hidden from her all these months. It was something that concerned her family and yet he had gone behind her back.   
‘I wish you had told me,’ she said, ‘but I also know that I told you never to speak of this matter again, and not try to sway me into writing to him. I never thought of Louis. Of his own right to know and choose.’  
‘I am sorry I’ve hurt you. Sorry, you should find out about our deception so brutally too.’  
‘Yes,’ she shook her head and let out a little laugh, ‘that was quite a meeting, was it not, isn’t she a little firebrand though!’ Then she couldn’t help adding fondly, ‘I wonder how he manages her.’  
‘Keeps him on his toes I should think,’ replied Alexander, happy at the turn of events.  
They both laughed and looked at their own off-springs, standing awkwardly by the pond and watching their parents. They looked relieved to hear them laugh as they stood up and made their way to the Pond to join them.


	23. family reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Searching for Nicholas.

Robert Fellowes rented rooms in Magpy Alley, near Holborn and the Lincoln’s inn. He had found out where Lady Alexis Alconbury‘s brother, Sir Sidney Lovejoy, lived, and he was keeping careful tracks of his whereabouts in case his employer wished to know. He was sure that it would be the case. He had sent his letter to Mr. Kermor nearly two weeks ago now and he had decided to remain at home most of the time this last week because he was pretty sure that he was going to have a visitor soon. He was therefore not at all surprised when he opened his door to find Kermor on his threshold. He was accompanied by a handsome fair-haired man he did not know. He bid them both to enter. Yannick was not empty-handed; he had brought 2 bottles of his finest brandy which he handed to Robert together with a purse, ‘as agreed,’ he said, ‘the brandy is to celebrate the success of your mission,’ he explained to Robert.   
‘But you haven’t got the name of the person who spilled the beans, sir, it is what you paid me to find out,’ noted Robert.  
‘It doesn’t matter now that I have a reason for the accusation. To be perfectly honest with you, it is what matters most to me.’  
‘Do you intend to publicize my findings to clear your name?’   
Yannick smiled broadly, ‘you guessed, of course, you did, it goes to show how good you are at your job. No, I will do nothing of the kind unless I am forced to do so. I do not want to cause problems to the lady; she has wronged me but I understand why. Nevertheless, the decks have changed, I want my son.’  
‘Sir Sidney Lovejoy, her ladyship’s brother is in town for now. I am in good term with one of the maids and she told me that he was soon to depart for Bath.’  
‘I must visit him as soon as possible then, find out where the child is and take him away with me.’  
‘He could refuse to tell you. His sister and himself could have plans for the child’s future, and of course, it is possible that he did not survive babyhood.’  
‘I don’t care if they have plans. I will not hesitate to blackmail him. He will not want the world to know about my love affair with his sister. I, on the other hand, have nothing to lose and all to gain.’  
Robert understood. He knew that he would act similarly in the same position. They had a drink, Robert explained how he had got the information from Mary. Yannick remembered Mary well.   
‘Lord Alconbury was very unfair with Mary,’ he remarked thoughtfully, ‘she did her best to keep me away from her lady, forever inventing reasons for turning me away. I don’t understand why she is drinking; she could have done something better of her life with the money she received surely.’  
‘She had no references to get a new position as a lady’s maid. She is over 40 years old now and had worked most of her life for Lady Alexis. She was working in the public house when I found her, but it is not doing her any good to be there because of her inclination to drink.’  
Yannick said pensively, ‘I’ll see if I can help Mary later. After all, I am largely responsible for the mess, she is in. But my first priority is finding my son, will you come with us now to Sir Sidney’s?’ He asked Robert who agreed immediately.   
The 3 men made their way to Sir Sidney’s house in a Hackney carriage. They decided on their way that Lord Vernon was going to present himself to the butler, hoping that his title would gain them entrance without undue questioning; Hadrian had recently discovered that titles were very useful to get people to open their doors to him. No one liked to pass the opportunity to become acquainted with a peer of the realm. The visitors were introduced to the drawing-room where Sir Sidney was waiting for them. He was very curious about finding out why Lord Vernon was calling on him. He did not know the man, he remembered reading in the newspapers some months back about the tragic accident which had taken the lives of the previous holder of the title together with his direct heirs. The tragedy had been much talked about and the personality of the new Lord Vernon was a mystery because the man had not yet appeared in society since inheriting the title.  
Hadrian introduced himself then he introduced the other two gentlemen, Mr. Fellowes, private investigator, and the Comte de Mersac. Sir Sidney’s mouth dropped open when he heard the infamous name. His face flushed, and he looked at Yannick with an expression of pure hatred on his face:  
‘How dare you enter my house; I will have you kicked out presently by my footmen.’  
They had agreed beforehand that Hadrian would act as a go-between if things looked like becoming difficult.  
‘You will do no such thing, sir, you will first listen to what the Comte has to say. Believe me, you do not want to create a fuss because we have the means to create a scandal and we will not hesitate to use them.’  
As Sir Sidney did not respond to Hadrian’s words of warning, probably too shocked to do so, Yannick took over.  
‘I know that your sister had a child and that the child is mine. I want you to tell me where he is and write a letter to whoever is looking after him to let me take him away. Write down the child’s name and his date of birth. That’s all. Think of it as a favour I am doing you, you will never have to worry about his future, and he will not cost you or her a penny more. If you do this then I promise that you will never hear from me again.’  
Yannick was fervently hoping that Sir Sidney was not going to do something like laugh at his face and tell him that the child was dead. It was such a current happening after all. Silence followed Yannick’s words instead, giving him hope that the boy might be alive after all. Finally, Sir Sidney answered:  
‘Well, that’s quite a surprise, I must say. How do you know there was a child? Must be Mary, of course, the greedy bitch decided to try and get more money from another source, did she?’ He laughed, ‘you’re welcomed to your bastard, Admiral, I will write this letter to you with the greatest of pleasure.’  
He rang the bell and ordered writing material to be brought to him immediately. The footman returned within a minute or so and Sir Sidney sat down and started to write. He folded the letter and wrote a name and an address on the back before he handed it to Yannick, he told him:   
‘She’ll want money before she gives you the child; to compensate for the lost income she was promised for rearing him up to his 6th year. You’ll have to give her 50 pounds.’  
Yannick read the letter and nodded. The address surprised him. He had expected the child to be reared outside London as was the case for most children, unwanted or not, but it wasn’t. His son was kept by a woman who lived on Old Pye Street, London. The address told him nothing, he was not familiar with the town, but the hissing sound coming from Robert as he glanced at it told him that it was not good.  
‘Let’s go now,’ he told Yannick and Hadrian, ‘before I do something I’ll regret,’ he strode to the door and they followed him.  
They had asked the Hackney coachman to wait for them. They returned to Hadrian’s house first to get the money in gold coins because Yannick did not have such a sum with him now that he had paid Robert’s fee.   
Hadrian and Robert waited for him in the coach and Hadrian gave the coachman the address for their next stop. When Yannick returned, he noticed on the man’s face that he was unhappy about their next trip and had voiced his displeasure to Hadrian. Hadrian’s tone clearly indicated that he did not wish to hear another comment from him, so the man settled in his seat and set his horse in motion.   
‘All right, what’s wrong with the address?’ asked Yannick.  
‘It’s near Westminster Abbey and Tothill Fields. Near the river. It’s in a slum, called “The sanctuary”,’ replied Robert.  
‘I should have killed him,’ he understood Robert’s comment better now, the man probably knew this part of London well.   
‘Yes, but it would not have helped you. So, let’s get the child away today. Prepare yourself for a shock though.’  
Yannick tightened his fists and did not answer. As was his habit when faced with a difficult situation he tried to think of a good side, and there was one, the child was apparently alive and that was all that mattered. He was two and a half years old, and whatever the condition he was in now, it was not going to last. He was going to give him a good life.  
It was but a short drive. It was amazing how near the slum was from the more fashionable areas of London. They went down St James street then Horse Ferry road to reach Old Pye Street, passing Westminster Abbey on their left. It was a narrow, dirty, smelly road and their driver stopped at the side of St Margaret’s burying ground. He told them that he did not feel safe to take his coach down Pye street and they reluctantly agreed that he was probably right. He promised to come back for them in an hour or so, wishing to keep his coach moving out of the area rather than standing still in this cutthroat place.  
The 3 passengers alighted and made their way up the street. The houses were dismal, the cobbles covered with filth, the smell far worse in these streets than elsewhere in London. They had chosen to dress plainly before going to meet Robert earlier on and they were glad of their choice. Robert had a pistol in his belt, he made sure it was well in evidence as they made their way. Yannick and Hadrian had not noticed it before, they were pleased of it.  
They reached the house they were seeking. It was two- storey high with filthy windows and a rickety door. They entered without knocking. From the street they heard children’s screams from somewhere around the back. The room was dark, and the smell of urine and fecal matters made Yannick want to retch. He was not unused to unpleasant smells, he had spent years onboard an overcrowded ship which stank of unwashed men, but for the last two years, he had got used to the fresh seaside air of Cornwall and had forgotten how bad humanity could stink.  
The noise from the children was coming from the back so they made their way there. The back door opened on a small and dirty yard where around one dozen small children could be seen. They were aged between a toddler to 5 or 6 years old. Yannick presumed that after that age they were put out to work. A woman was sitting on a bench smoking a pipe, he noticed the bottle of gin on the table within easy reach. She looked at the 3 men with glassy eyes.  
‘I’ve come to pick up a child,’ said Yannick, ‘his name is Nicholas Brady. I have a letter from his guardian.’  
The woman eyed him suspiciously, ’the pretty one,’ she said, ‘I didn’t expect him to be collected for the brothel yet, he’s still a bit young. Not my business anyway. I’ll take the letter and the money cause the contract was to keep him for 6 years, see.’ Yannick’s face had gone deathly white, ‘get him.’ he ordered coldly.  
The woman looked around then pulled up a child with a head of dirty tangled curls whose colour was hard to guess and who was sitting down in the dirt playing with some sticks. She dragged him by the arm to Yannick.   
‘The letter and the money, then you can take him away,’ she said.   
Before Yannick complied, Hadrian asked:  
‘How do we know it’s the right child?’  
She laughed, ‘you’ll just have to trust me, won’t you, cove?’  
Yannick kneeled in front of the boy and asked him to look up. He did. The small skinny face was filthy, he had a rash and some blisters, but he understood why she had called him the ‘pretty one’, his features were delicate, and he had big green eyes bordered by long honey-coloured eyelashes. He watched the man in front of him with a solemn look, Yannick swallowed, he stood up, handed the letter out to the woman with a purse containing 50 pounds. She asked them to wait until she had checked every coin before letting them get out with the child.   
Yannick had thought of leaving anyway, but Robert gestured that they had to be patient. They needed to leave the slum quietly with the child, and not accompanied by the woman’s screams if she thought she was being robbed of a coin or two. Eventually, she nodded to them and let Yannick pick the boy up. He did not struggle; he was incredibly light. Yannick held him tight, he felt just as he had when he had found Meredith, overwhelmed with a need to protect this small innocent child. He couldn’t help looking back at the yard, full of children, and wishing he could take them all with him and offer them a better life.   
Hadrian, probably guessing his lover’s feelings, put his arm around his shoulders and murmured:  
‘We have to go; we can’t do any more here.’  
‘But you heard what she said, some of those children will go to a brothel,’ the woman heard him:  
‘What do you expect, eh, that some nice rich lord or lady will come and bring them to their big house and treat them like princes and princesses? This is not the way of this world. Now get out before you end up robbed of all you have,’ she said harshly.  
They did as they were told. They walked across the street to St Margaret’s ground waiting for the coach to appear. The little boy was snuggled in Yannick’s arms, he was quiet, and the men were silent. The dreadful conditions of the children had affected them. They had known that such hovels existed, but neither Yannick nor Hadrian had seen them with their own eyes; they lived in a world of privileges and they were keenly aware that even if their lives had sometimes gone through difficult moments, it had been temporary, they did not know what a life without hope meant, a life similar to the ones those children back in that yard were experiencing. Robert’s trade had taken him to very low places in London, it was not his first time in a hovel such as this, he had also seen the brothels in which some of these children were going to end up. He thought of Mary’s life, also. Would Mersac do something for her or was it just a thought he’d had and would forget now that he had found his son.   
They took Robert home before continuing to Hadrian’s house. Before they parted, Yannick told Robert that he would come back next day to meet Mary. Robert advised Yannick to come in the morning if he could, he had seen Mary in the morning at the public house and he thought that if he wanted to see her sober it was better to come then. He understood that Mary worked there, but he did not know what her duties were. Yannick told him he’d be around at 10. Robert watched the coach move away and he entered his room. He meant it, he thought, Yannick impressed him. The man cared; Robert wasn’t used to meeting men with genuine kindness in his trade. He made a note to thank Admiral Trewin again to have permitted him to meet this one.


	24. The family increases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charley and Meredith discover that their father has an even bigger surprise than they have

When Charley and Meredith heard the front door open, they rushed to the entrance, in a hurry to tell their father of their encounter in the park earlier. They remained tongue-tied when they realised that their father had an even bigger surprise for them.   
He was holding a little waif carefully in his arms, the little one looked asleep. Hadrian talked to Mrs Harvey, his housekeeper, and she fetched Simona for them. When Simona arrived, he told her that the child was to be bathed and his hair thoroughly cleaned because he most probably had lice. Mrs Harvey required a cot to be prepared in the nursery. Yannick hesitated as to where to put the cot, he wondered if the child would be frightened if he woke up in a room on his own. Hadrian agreed with him, the nursery had not been used for several years and there were no nursery maids employed in the household. Simona did not hesitate one second, the cot should be set in her bedroom where she would be in attendance in case the little one needed her during the night.   
Yannick let Hadrian and Mrs Harvey make the arrangements; after he had whispered his agreement, he had been silent, careful not to startle the child awake. He sat down and waited patiently until all was ready for him, then he woke him up gently, and took him upstairs to be cleaned up by Simona. He had spoken to him tenderly during the coach trip until the child had fallen asleep, and now, he continued speaking softly to him, stroking his hair as he did his best to comfort him. Nevertheless, the child’s lack of reactions shocked him. He had expected tears, frightened looks, struggles maybe, instead the little one was listless, his eyes huge in his little face, not a sound had passed his lips, not even a whimper, he was letting the adults handle him quietly. At least he did not have the terrified look that Meredith had had at the time of his rescue. Yannick wished that he too could have a bath to wash away the stink of the hovel. It was too late to have one now; it was already well past the usual dinner hour, and he knew the children must be starving. He went to his room got cleaned up and changed before joining the company in the dining room. He heard them talking as he entered the room:  
Hadrian was asking the children why Louis was not here to dine as planned. Charley said with a cheeky smile on her face:  
‘We will tell you our adventure after you tell us why you have brought this little boy here, was he lost?’  
‘No,’ said Yannick as he sat down at the table, ‘he wasn’t lost, his mother abandoned him.’  
‘Like mine did?’ Replied Charley.  
‘Yes, although she abandoned him in far worse circumstances than yours did, she did not bother to let me know that he existed so that I could take care of him.’  
Meredith frowned, ‘what do you mean, why should you take care of him?’  
‘I am his father.’  
Meredith and Charley gasped, neither of them spoke for a few minutes. Yannick thought ruefully that this was a rare moment indeed. Then Charley broke the silence:  
‘We had a surprise too, but it doesn’t hold a candle to yours, of course,’  
‘What is his name?’ asked Meredith.  
‘Nicholas. He is 2 and a half years old and he has been brought up in a bad place since his birth. I know it’s going to mean a change in your lives, but I know that you will be nice to him.’  
They both nodded. Yannick had looked carefully at Meredith’s expression. For the time being, he could not detect any trouble, but he knew the adolescent was going through a difficult time. First, there had been the memories of his childhood abuse coming back to him, then the talk they had about Yannick’s preference for men in his bed and of course the arrival of Hadrian, his lover, in their life. It had been a lot to accept in just a few months and Yannick hoped that the arrival of another child of his was not going to be too much for him. He promised himself to have another talk with Meredith tomorrow and involve him more in adult matters rather than keeping him with Charley all the time. For now, though, it was clear that they wanted to tell him something so he told them that it was their turn to surprise him if they could. Charley and Meredith looked at each other and Meredith nodded slightly to her. They had rehearsed their little bombshell between them.   
‘So, you see,’ started Charley, ‘I helped this boy with his boat by the pond,’   
‘I knew only Charley could help him of course,’ continued Meredith, ’but I kept my eye on him.’  
‘He was most impressed with my skills, and his boat sailed to the other end of the pond!’  
Meredith took up the story, ‘Charley called out to uncle Louis to allow her to run to the other side of the pond to catch the boy’s boat.’  
‘Max,’ said Charley, ‘his name is Max and he did introduce himself properly.’  
‘And,’ continued Meredith, ‘you will never guess what he said when Charley called uncle Louis,’ he added triumphantly.   
They stopped talking.  
‘Well, go on, what can he possibly have said?’ Asked Hadrian, eager to enter their game. They answered slowly in a well-rehearsed choir:  
‘He said: ‘How can MY uncle Louis be also YOUR uncle Louis?’   
Now it was Yannick and Hadrian’s turn to be tongue-tied.   
Charley continued, describing the meeting with Max’s parents and his younger sister, the shock they had received, and Charley’s departure to join Miss Leary and Meredith. Louis had caught up with them quickly and explained that the lady was Anne-Laure, his sister, and therefore their aunt. He told them that she did not wish to meet with their father after the war because of a family quarrel, probably due to the fact that their father had fought for Napoléon despite his family being close to the king of France. He told them he was going to see his sister tonight and try to work it out. He disliked the family being apart, he told them, he loved them all very much and wanted a reunion.  
Yannick hoped with all his heart that Louis could work it out. Maybe with being able to explain why the story of the rape had come about, he had a chance of it happening. He also had to talk to Miss Leary. She had been quietly listening to the drama unfolding and discovered quite a lot she did not know about her employer. He hoped that it would not deter her from staying with them. The children would be very upset if she left. He talked to her after dinner. Told her who he was, told her who the mother of the little boy he had brought to the house was, explained that they had been lovers, denied the rape story and described how he and Hadrian had rescued the child.  
‘You are very good at rescuing endangered children, it seems, sir,’ she said with an allusion to Meredith’s rescue.  
‘Yes, I can’t stand the thought of children being mistreated. I wish I could do more. I forbid young ones to work in my mine and forced their parents to get them to the school I set up in the village, but I know many of them still work in the fields nevertheless where it’s harder to check than in the mine’.  
‘I know. The schoolteacher told me. He is most impressed with your efforts. And so am I. I am very lucky to work for you.’  
‘My identity has not put you off?’  
‘Good lord, no, did you think it might?’  
‘I hoped not. I hoped I had not misjudged you like I had sorely misjudged this woman I had fallen in love with. Never in a million years, I could have imagined her capable of leaving her child in such a hovel and of course, the worst is that her brother said that money would only be paid for 6 years, after that they were free to put the child to work as they wished.’  
Miss Leary did not answer. She understood his pain and felt for him. At least she thought he has Hadrian’s love now; it counts for a great deal. After such a day it was a relief for Yannick and Hadrian to be alone for the night. Yannick had to leave again at 4.00 of course to regain his bed, but the few hours spent in Hadrian’s arms had been enough to soothe him and prepare him to face the next day which promised to be another interesting one.   
After his breakfast, he called on Simona and asked how the little boy was. He had slept peacefully, she said, he was still listless though and Simona was surprised that he was not eating a lot: she had expected him to be ravenous and cramming food in his mouth. She had already noticed his cautious approach to food the night before. The child let Yannick pick him up and hug him, his hair had been washed and combed and was falling on his shoulders in a lovely honey coloured mass of loose curls. His small face was clean and sweet-smelling. Yannick kissed him and held him tenderly, wishing that he could spend his day with him rather than having to go out again this morning.   
At 10.00 he was knocking on Robert’s door and they hailed a hackney to take them as far as Parliament bridge. They would continue on foot. Yannick had dressed like a common tradesman same as Robert. He wondered if Mary was going to recognize him and he was a little anxious regarding her reaction if she did. They walked into the public house as the doors opened for business. Robert did not see Mary sitting at the table where she had been the last time, but it did not surprise him, after all, she had been waiting for John to arrive and give her money. Robert went to the bar and enquired after her.  
‘She’s scrubbing the stairs,’ said the man, ‘I warn you, though, she’s not on the game this one, she’ll give you a mouthful if you ask for a shag.’  
‘It’s all right, she knows me, I want nothing of the sort,’ replied Robert.   
The barman nodded and called out through the back door. Yannick ordered 3 pints of beer and he sat down with Robert at the table where she usually received John and waited. They waited around a quarter of an hour before Mary arrived. She still had an apron on, her hair was sticking out of her bonnet and she looked tired already. She recognized Robert and gave an annoying shrug:  
‘I told you I knew nothing more, you made me hurry for nothing.’  
Robert pushed the pint of beer towards her and she mellowed and approached the table. She seemed to notice Yannick then. She looked at him and stood stock-still.  
‘You’re……,’ she uttered, shocked, ready to flee.  
‘Yes,’ he said quickly, ‘please sit down, I don’t mean to harm you, quite the opposite, I wish to help you.’  
‘Why should you, I never helped you!’ She snarled.  
‘Not in India, no, but you were not meant to help me, you wanted to protect your lady,’  
‘Fat good that did me in the end.’  
‘But you have helped me since, albeit unwittingly. Thanks to you I have saved my son from unsavoury people, so I owe you. Now do you want my help or not?’  
Mary did not answer immediately, she had been tempted to run from the Frenchman, persuaded that he wanted to harm her. She looked more carefully into his eyes, she was good at reading men’s eyes, it was a question of survival in her world, he looked truthful, she decided to listen to what he had to offer. She accepted his invitation to sit down.  
‘The boy is alive and you’ve got him? Well, that’s good, I did not trust that brother of hers. I offered to keep him and raise him myself, after all I was registered as his mother, but he refused. How do you want to help then?’  
‘I have two propositions for you: either I give you an allowance of £40 a year paid every year for the rest of your life; or, I employ you in my household as maid to my daughter. You will receive £30 a year, you will be fed, housed, and clothed with one free day a week. You’ll remain free to stay or leave at any time of course. Your choice. Careful, mind, I’ll not have a drunkard look after my child, so if you accept, you’ll have to be sober at all time, also my true identity is only known by a few people and I want it to remain so.’  
Mary’s eyes and mouth were wide open which gave her a funny look. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no sound came out of it. Her brain quickly worked out that the second offer was by far the better one of the two. She would have at last a decent employment with a wage large enough for her to put money by for her old days. She gratefully accepted the position in his household and promised to stop drinking and keep her employer’s secret. The two men remained in the public house while she got her few things together from the small room she was renting in the attic of the establishment. She told the barman she was off and would never come back and she left without a backward glance. She was determined to put the last 2 years behind her for good and be worthy of the chance for a better life she was offered.   
Robert was dropped at his door again. Yannick thanked him once more and gave him one mission on behalf of Mary. Could he contact the old gardener and ask him to put Mary’s allowance from Lady Alexis into a savings bank account opened in her name. Yannick was going to take Mary to a bank and get it sorted for her. He agreed, of course, pleased at the opportunity to speak to the old man again and be able to reassure him about Mary’s future.  
When Mrs Harvey, set eyes on the shabbily dressed woman that his lordship’s guest walked in with, she thought with amusement that the butler might not recover this time. He had not approved of the child they had brought in the previous day especially after hearing Mr. Kermor mention that he could have lice! The late Lord Vernon would never have accepted such a behaviour from a guest of his. But his son seemed to not only approve but also encourage his guest’s weird behaviour. To think that he had thrown his own mother out of the family house only to pick up a beggar from the street. The butler could not understand at all. And now, this woman. Mrs Harvey took Mary upstairs to the servant’s floor where she was given a room. Water would be brought to her, she said, and new clothes. Mary wanted more than anything to lay on the bed, but she made herself wait until water arrived and she could get cleaned and changed before doing so. Asked by the maid if she wished her old clothes to be washed, she smiled and said happily:  
‘No, thank you, you can burn them.’  
Charley was studying with Miss Leary and Meredith was going through the Vernon’s family documents trying to find out what had happened to Lady Sophie. He wanted to be able to tell Hadrian before he went to dinner with Mr. Tanner tonight. Yannick decided to help him after he spent time with his newly found little son.   
The family bible had told Meredith that Sophie had eventually married a clergyman in her early thirties. The bible also recorded that she had a son, but nothing more so Yannick found himself looking through personal letters again in the hope that Sophie had kept a correspondence with her brother or with her parents. Unfortunately, their afternoon work led to nothing. Not a letter was discovered with a reference to Sophie or her son. Meredith found it disheartening, if he wanted to know more, he’d have to go through parish records, starting with the ones on the Vernon country estate.   
They had reached a dead end and called it a day. Yannick was pleased to have spent this time searching those records, Meredith had been grateful for his father’s company while it took Yannick’s mind off the fact that he had not heard from Louis nearly 24 hours after Anne-Laure had found out that they knew each other. He was hoping that Louis would turn up for dinner tonight, but dinner time was fast approaching, and it was getting less and less likely that he would.  
Hadrian had spent time with his solicitor on the current estate business for most of the day and he only returned to get changed and leave for his dinner appointment with Mr. Tanner. Yannick went to the drawing-room where Simona was playing with Nicholas. She was not on her own, Mary was with her, adding bricks to the castle the 3 of them were building. Nicholas was settling down in the house. He was a very quiet little boy; he did not speak or cry, his eyes had a permanently weary look and sudden noises made him jump. Simona had drawn Yannick’s attention to the bruises she had noticed on the small skinny body. He had noticed that the child also had a limp when walking. A physician had been called in to examine the child and had concluded that his left leg had been broken early in life and not set up as well as it should have been. The bruises were multicoloured, a sure sign of frequent bumps or hits.   
The little boy reminded Yannick of Meredith when he had rescued him all those years ago. He knew that the child would get better with love and care, but he also knew that there would be scarring for life. At least Nicky was much younger than Meredith had been, so maybe he would not remember much at all. Simona took the child up to bed and Yannick followed her. He took a book and started to read him a story. The child was looking at him with his eyes fixed on him and Yannick wasn’t sure that he understood the words he was hearing. In any case, he was asleep in 5 minutes and Yannick put the book down and just stayed there watching him sleep with his thoughts returning to the events of the previous day.  
He now acutely realised how little he knew of the way the lower classes lived. He had never visited slums before in his life; he had seen poverty in and around Porthdowns, but he had been able to help; in India, he had lived in the rajah’s palace, far from poverty and squalor. As a child, he had been brought up in a château, and although he had suffered the worst possible assaults from his father, he had never been hungry, sick, cold, or lonely. His mother, his aunt, his sister, uncle Pierre, old Yannick had loved him and even if it had not totally made up for his suffering, it had helped him live with it and strengthen his resolve to take control of his life when grown up. The children he had seen in that slum did not stand a chance. There was no hope for them, at best they’d survive and end up in a workhouse, at worse, they’d die of disease or mistreatment, they could also be sent to brothels. And he was helpless to do anything about it.  
This helplessness made him angry; after he had rescued Meredith he had made sure that the other prisoners of the pirates had recovered their freedom. The pirates who had survived the raid had been judged and hanged by his friend the rajah. The situation was very different regarding Nicholas’s rescue. Yannick had to leave the other children behind and the hag who looked after them would never be punished. She had probably been mistreating children for years and would continue to do so and there was nothing he could do about it. He was deep in these dark thoughts when the butler came to tell him that dinner was served. Simona came to the bedroom and to stay with Nicholas. Yannick came down and joined Miss Leary and the children for dinner. Meredith stirred the conversation to his search into Hadrian’s ancestors.   
He had spoken to Mrs Harvey and asked many questions about the paintings on the wall and she had told him of the sad demise of the 2 boys on one of the most recent portraits. Yannick was not particularly pleased about the topic discussed. He told Meredith that he had to ask Hadrian before delving further into his ancestry, he wasn’t sure that he was going to like it; Hadrian had agreed for Meredith to look into Lady Sophie’s life, he had not given him leave to scrutinize his whole family’s history, especially his recent history. He saw that Meredith was displeased by his comments which put a dampening on his enthusiasm. Yannick talked to Charley about her lessons this afternoon and she replied, but she had sensed that the atmosphere was not as light as it usually was. They did not linger in the drawing-room that evening, Miss Leary and the children played cards for a while before retiring early, Yannick followed suit.


	25. Foul play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unacceptable behaviour from Hadrian forces Yannick to leave his house but he stay in London waiting for news of his sister.

At the beginning of their relationship, Yannick and Hadrian had talked of the eventuality that one of them might need some time alone including in bed. They had agreed to always respect the other’s wishes. Yannick knew that tonight Hadrian would come home late; Mr Tanner had told him that he wished to take him out to dine at his club, introduce him to his friends and socialize probably until the early hours of the morning, so Yannick had forewarned Hadrian that he would sleep in his own room, and would not like to be disturbed by his likely drunk lover when he came in.   
Sleep alluded him for a long time with so many conflicting emotions upsetting him. He had no news from Louis which made him fear the worst, that Louis had been asked to choose between himself or Anne-Laure. The thought of losing Louis hurt, he loved the young man and wanted to be part of his life, and also it would mean that if the new link with him was broken then all hope of one day making up with Anne-Laure would vanish forever.   
Then there was his anger toward Alexis who had abandoned her child, his child, to her brother without checking whether or not he would be treated properly. And of course, there was his helplessness as regards to the fate of all the other children he knew where suffering and dying in this town.   
And finally, there were worries about Meredith. He was involving himself too deeply into this ancestry quest and Yannick couldn’t help wondering if it was because Meredith was trying to make up for his own ignorance of his family history. The adolescent had seemed happy with Yannick’s explanations of the efforts he had put in to find out who Meredith was, but maybe it had not been enough to satisfy the lad. He clearly had not liked Yannick’s warning tonight at dinner. Yannick tossed and turned for several hours and only found sleep in the early hours of the morning.  
He woke up suddenly from his deep sleep when he felt the bed covers being pushed off him and a hand grabs his hip. He was sleeping naked as usual, lying on his left side. He froze for a few seconds in panic before his mind cleared and he realised that the intruder was Hadrian who reeked of wine and tobacco which was unusual, but not unexpected after a night in town. Yannick was fully awake now and his temper flared up when the hand which had grabbed his hip moved to a much more intimate part of his body; he recoiled with annoyance at the gesture.   
‘Stop it Hadrian, I told you earlier, leave me alone tonight, I am not in the mood, please go back to your own bed,’ he told his lover sharply.  
But Hadrian did not stop, on the contrary, he pushed his fingers roughly and deeply inside Yannick.  
‘I need you, don’t play hard to get, you wanton whore, open up,’ he groaned, his voice was sluggish, he sounded very drunk. The insult and the underlying nastiness of the tone shocked Yannick. He had always known that Hadrian was proud to possess him, but he had never forced himself on his lover. Sexual intercourse had always been consensual between them. Tonight, though, he was drunk and did not seem to care if consent was refused. In the past when Yannick had been abused, he had not been able to either retaliate or defend his integrity. It was different now. He pulled himself away from Hadrian’s fingers and said coldly to him:   
‘I said no, not tonight, go to your own bed. Let me sleep. You are drunk,’ he meant to turn around to face Hadrian, but before he could do so Hadrian grabbed his hips again more strongly this time and rammed his length brutally all the way inside him.   
Yannick angrily wrenched himself away, giving Hadrian a hard shove with his right elbow before turning around to face him, but Hadrian, furious, lunged at him in reply. He was a bigger built than Yannick who was surprised by the continued attack. He had expected Hadrian to come to his senses. Instead, he slapped Yannick’s face hard, twice, stunning him, then with his left hand he choked him. He was now above his lover; his right knee and right hand were seeking to pry Yannick’s thighs open and force himself onto him. All the while he was spitting a string of awful insults at Yannick’s face; the words whore, catamite, and bitch frequently repeated in his angry diatribe. Frantic to get away from the hand trying to throttle him, Yannick rammed his free knee as violently as he could in Hadrian’s private parts. Hadrian howled in pain and let go. Yannick managed to push him off and free himself, he jumped out of bed, grabbed his housecoat, and rushed out of the bedroom. He ran downstairs to the kitchen and collapsed on the bench, his whole being shaking badly from shock and anger and he remained there with his head cradled in his arms on the table.   
He was awoken by the scullery maid who found him asleep slumped on the kitchen table. It was 6.00 in the morning and the household servants were starting their usual working day. Yannick did not explain his presence in the kitchen and he quickly made his way back upstairs to his bedroom. He entered his room very quietly and to his relief, he saw that Hadrian was no longer in his bed. He swiftly locked the door between their 2 bedrooms and caught sight of himself in the mirror. He looked dreadful, no wonder the scullery maid had averted her eyes, he was disheveled, with sunken eyes, his throat was badly bruised. At least, he thought wearily, he did not use his fists and bruise my cheeks. The bruising on his neck would be hidden by his cravat. He was still as angry as he had been the night before. Hadrian had raped him and hit him, he could still feel the pressure of his hand on his throat and he knew that he could never forgive this, even if Hadrian had been drunk. It brought back too many memories he had been trying hard to forget for years. Nightmares still plagued some of his nights. He could not accept that his lover had used his body against his will just like the sailors on board Liberté. The dreadful name-calling kept ringing in his ears too. He wanted out of that house and never come back.   
He forced himself to think about his options rationally: he could run back to Rosemarkie now or he could stay in London until Louis contacted him. If there were even the slightest chance that he could make up with his sister, he would take it. He made up his mind. They would leave this house this morning and he would find a place to stay, then he would write to Louis to give him his new address. As for Hadrian, he wanted to never set eyes on the man again in his life.  
At 2.00 pm Hadrian woke up with a very sore head and a dreadful abdominal pain. The house was deadly quiet. He rang for hot water and a coffee and when John came to shave him, he asked where his guests had gone to for the day.   
‘I don’t know, my lord,’ Hadrian did not notice his valet’s embarrassed expression.  
‘Thank you, I’ll ask Mrs. Harvey, she’ll know.’ He felt slightly better after his coffee and a wash, he came downstairs, his stomach still hurt badly, he ordered some sandwiches to be brought in the drawing-room and called for Mrs. Harvey. She came in with a pained expression on her face. He noticed this time and narrowed his eyes.  
‘Where are my guests?’  
‘They are gone, my lord. They left this morning, after breakfast,’  
‘Where were they going and when are they coming back?’  
‘Mr. Kermor did not say anything at all, my lord. Only, they are not expected back, they departed in their coach with all their luggage,’  
Hadrian blanched, ‘that’s not possible. Did Mr Kermor receive a letter or an urgent message?’  
‘No, my lord. The scullery girl told me that she found Mr. Kermor in the kitchen at dawn and that it looked as if he had spent the night there. He woke up his coachman and servants and ordered them to get ready to leave the house as soon as possible. The children were bewildered. I don’t know anymore. They left at 10.00,’  
‘Something wrong must have happened, surely he left a letter for me though.’  
‘No, my lord. Nothing that I am aware of,’  
Hadrian ran upstairs and into Yannick’s bedroom. The curtains had been drawn; the maid had already made up the bed. Hadrian opened the wardrobe, checked out the dressing room and desk drawers, nothing. He sat on the bed with his hands pressed to his face with a feeling of dread slowly clutching his heart. He could understand Yannick being called away by an emergency at Rosemarkie or something to do with his siblings, but he would have written a note, Hadrian was sure of it. He stood up and went to the door which communicated with his own room, thinking that Yannick probably left the note in his room last night, for his eyes only. To his great surprise, he found the door locked. The key was in the lock, he had to turn it twice to open the door. The maid must have locked it, he tried to reassure himself. He searched his room and found nothing. Panicked, he called the maid, asked her about the door. She had not touched it. No letter had been left behind that she knew of.  
Hadrian stood at the top of the stairs, clutching the rail with his eyes closed, forcing his erratic breathing to get back to some normality. Think. Think. He regained some control and came down to his study. His desk was still littered with the documents that Meredith had examined. The adolescent’s search results were written on a now-discarded sheet of paper. The room was exactly as if Meredith had just gone for a few minutes. It was eerie how quiet the house was. He sat down with his head in his hands he started to think, and the more he did the more he suspected that he had somehow something to do with Yannick’s sudden departure. Only he did not have a clue of what it might be.  
He realised that he had no memories of his coming home last night. It came to him that maybe Yannick had waited up for him, that maybe they had an argument, massive enough for him to lock his bedroom door and even go down to the kitchen and fall asleep there. It made sense. Yannick was angry that’s why he did not leave a letter. They had never had a big argument, so Hadrian did not know how Yannick reacted when faced with one. Maybe he needed to cool down on his own after all or sulk. All right, Hadrian was not going to worry, he would wait, and it would probably sort itself out.   
He did not manage to reassure himself that much, the sudden departure was a drastic action to take for just an argument. If only he could remember the events of last night...but, he only recalled the dinner with Mr. Tanner at his club and starting drinking and smoking in the lounge afterward. Mr. Tanner had introduced him to fashionable friends of his and Hadrian remembered being offered some lozenges with a strong drink. Quite the thing to take for great fun, he was told. The problem was that he could not remember anything after swallowing the lozenges; and now his lover had left him. Hadrian pulled himself together; he could not accept losing Yannick, not after pining for him for so long. They loved each other, they would work it out, he held on to this belief and started to think as to where to start looking first.   
Yannick and his family found accommodation at Mivart’s hotel in Mayfair. The coach was stabled, and the coachman and groom shared a room. Yannick shared one with Meredith, Charley with Miss Leary and Mary, Loïk with Simona, and Nicholas. It was a comfortable establishment, only opened 3 years before, he had wished for more bedrooms to rent, but unfortunately, it had not been possible.   
Yannick wrote to Louis, begging him to keep his address from Hadrian. He did not explain and did not say much to his entourage either, just that he had quarreled with Hadrian, and could not stay at his house any longer. Meredith and Charley were obviously very upset, he knew they loved Hadrian, and wanted to know what had happened. There was no way he was going to do that. His bad mood and lack of sleep made him rebuff them more harshly than he should have done, but it worked, they were so stunned by his unusual reaction that they kept very quiet after that. The remainder of the day was taken up with unpacking and getting used to sharing a bedroom. Miss Leary had accepted the situation with good grace. She had guessed that her employer had enough problems as it were without adding petty comfort issues, besides, the rooms were comfortable. They dinned in a nearby restaurant and went to bed earlier than usual.  
The following day found them all at a loss of what to do. The weather was bad again with incessant rain so going to the parks was out of the question. Miss Leary took them to the British Museum once more. Mary offered to take Loïk and Simona for a visit of ‘her London’. Yannick had told them that he would look after Nicholas all day. Mary thought it very strange that he would like to do this, and a little bit worried that he would not know how to, but Loïk and Simona dispelled her fears telling her that he had looked after Charley since she was a babe in arms.  
Later in the afternoon, a messenger brought an urgent letter from Louis. The messenger said that he would wait for Yannick’s answer. Louis explained that he’d had to deal with a major upheaval at home. It concerned his mother who was very upset and had moved out of the family house to find refuge with Anne-Laure and Alexander. It had happened on the afternoon his sister had met Yannick’s children in the park. When he got to their house that evening, he discovered that his mother had arrived in a flood of tears after she had run away from her home. Her husband’s mistress had turned up at their doorsteps and screamed to be allowed in or she would shout her story in the street. Valentin had immediately admitted her and had attempted to shut her up, but she was far too angry to keep quiet. Furthermore, Anna, who knew of her husband’s unfaithfulness wanted to hear her story.   
The story the woman told was horrendous and after hearing the tale, Anna had run away to Anne-Laure’s house where she knew she would find Louis. Louis had spent the following 2 days looking after his distraught mother who had to be given laudanum to calm her down. He told Yannick that he would be welcomed at Anne-Laure’s house for dinner this night, but that it was better if he came without his children this time. The messenger left the hotel with Yannick’s note that he would come.  
Yannick was introduced to the drawing-room at his sister’s house by the butler and he was welcomed by Louis who was on his own. Louis’s face showed signs of lack of sleep and pain. Yannick hugged him, holding him tight. He knew all too well what evil their father was capable of. He had never told Louis about the abuse he had been the victim of and thankfully had understood from the way Louis talked about his father that he had not been touched in the way that Yannick had. There was an innocence about Louis that would have disappeared if he had been abused. Looking into his brother’s eyes now, Yannick could tell that this innocence had vanished, Louis had had his eyes opened and he was hurting.  
He told Yannick that his father’s mistress had claimed that their father, angry because she was pregnant and refusing herself to him, had assaulted her adolescent son. Anna had refused to believe her, but the woman had told her that she had taken her son to a doctor, who had confirmed that the boy had been raped. The doctor had written a report and he was willing to swear under oath in the magistrate court that the boy had accused Valentin of the deed. ‘You are going to hang for buggery,’ she had screamed at Valentin, ‘unless you pay me £10000 to keep quiet.’ Valentin had listened to her, white as a sheet, and denied the accusation, threatened her in turn. His mistress had not backed down, ‘I am not frightened,’ she had said, ‘you either give me a letter of change I will bring to the bank today or I am going to the magistrate court. You will see if he believes me or not.’ Valentin had signed a letter of change and pushed her out of the house. When Anna had asked for an explanation, he had slapped her and ordered her to shut up. That was when she had run away.  
Louis told Yannick that he had not believed that his father was capable of such a dreadful act, but that Anne-Laure and Alexander had unfortunately dispelled this. It had happened before they had said without giving him any details or how they knew. Yannick could not work out if they knew about his story or if another child had suffered; he thought that only his mother and himself had known about his own history of abuse, but then maybe he had not been the only boy that Valentin had abused, maybe Laure and Alexander had somehow become aware of other bad deeds that Valentin had committed in the past.   
He saw in his brother’s eyes that Louis hoped that Yannick would tell him that they were wrong, but he couldn’t lie to him. He held the young man in his arms and confirmed that it was true, their father had acted this way before, to one boy at least. To him. Louis went deathly pale and Yannick thought that he was going to faint in his arms. He did not though, but he stayed where he was, holding on to Yannick tightly, both men comforting each other. There was a knock on the door then Anne-Laure and Alexander entered. The two brothers were still close to each other, but Louis had recovered his wits a little. Yannick stood up and faced his sister and her husband. She walked towards him and spoke:  
‘Jean-Baptiste. I need to hear it from you because Alexis is a dear friend of mine; Louis told me that you had a love affair with her and that the rape allegation was a lie. Is it true?’  
‘Yes, it’s true, I have never raped anyone in my life. The truth is that I foolishly fell in love with her and we had an affair. Some months ago, I employed an investigator to find out how this despicable story came out and I have now discovered that she had fallen pregnant and that the lie was to hide her unfaithfulness to her husband. That’s the truth;’ he took a large intake of air and continued, despite what it cost him to say the following words, ’now, Laure, let me tell you this, I need you to choose right now whether you believe your dear friend or your brother. You see, I am tired of being doubted and hurt so if you are not ready to believe me unconditionally, I am leaving your house right now, and you will never see or hear from me again.’  
Yannick spoke firmly, looking straight into her eyes. He meant it; he was angry with her because she had judged him without hearing him first. He realised that he did not want her back half-heartedly in his life. He preferred losing her forever rather than knowing she still doubted him. She walked to him with her eyes never leaving his and put her arms around his neck.  
‘Stay, I believe you. I am sorry, I was wrong, Alexander told me I should have given you a fair hearing, but I was too stubborn to listen, please forgive me.’   
Yannick smiled, ‘you’re still stubborn? How does he put up with you? He must be a good man.’  
‘The very best,’ she smiled back and turned to Alexander. The two men shook hands.   
‘Did you find out if she had a child?’ Asked Laure.  
‘Yes, my investigator discovered that she gave birth to a boy in England. She returned to London and let her brother deal with the baby. I found him only two days ago, in the slum where he had been dumped, it’s a wonder he survived, but he is safe now.’  
Laure did not comment; the butler had announced that dinner was served and they made their way to the dining room. How wrong she had been when she had concluded that Alexis sadness had been the result of her brother’s behaviour, now she thought that it might have been because of the loss of her child… Dinner was served, Anna had recovered a little and made the effort of coming down. Laure had told her who her brother was, and she found that she needed to talk to him and ask questions about her husband’s past.   
It was difficult for Yannick to discuss his father, but he understood Anna’s need to know more. Anna told them of how Valentin had changed after the cousins’ visit at Christmas. He drank more, was more impatient with her. She knew he had a mistress, she put up with it like so many other wives did because they had no choice. Nevertheless, she had difficulties believing what his mistress had said even after he had paid up. She wanted to believe that although paying up suggested that it might be true, she hung on to the belief that he had done it to avoid a scandal and reveal his mistress’s pregnancy. Her hopes had been dashed when Anne-Laure had revealed that she had found the proof of her father’s depravity some months back. Yannick asked how, and she told him about her discovery of their mother’s letters to aunt Henrietta with their damning content.   
‘So, you knew he abused me,’ he reflected sadly.   
It felt strange to say this aloud and in company, he had only ever mentioned this to Meredith, never to anyone else, not even to Hadrian. He thought, and yet you believed me capable of acting like he did, it hurts; Anne-Laure guessed his unhappiness, she squeezed his hand very hard.  
‘The moment I read these letters I wanted to run to you, but I did not know where you were. The war had only just ended, so we went to France to search for you, but when your solicitor told us who you had become, I could not take it. I was only 10 years old when we were separated, I had no way of knowing what kind of a person you had become. After all I had always thought that my father was a good man and I had just discovered that he was a monster, maybe you had become one too. Alexander advised me to write to you, but I couldn’t, I was wrong. Please forgive me.’  
Anna suddenly thought of Louis, fearing the worst. Louis reassured her: his father had never touched him. He told his mother that Valentin had gone to France. She was relieved that she would not have to face him again and she was going to be able to go back to her house. The other accusations made against Yannick were not mentioned, which was just as well because he was neither prepared nor willing to talk about them. Anne-Laure stirred the conversation to a lighter subject, Louis had told them that Yannick was in London for a holiday with his children, no mention of Hadrian had been made by the young man at Yannick’s request. She asked Yannick about his children, wishing to meet them and he promised to come back the next day with them.   
He left the house in a happier mood; he had managed an evening without thinking about Hadrian. Anne-Laure gave him their mother’s letters to read warning him that it would be a painful experience. He thanked her, hugged her and walked away quickly before she saw the tears running down his face. He should have been so very happy, his dearest wish had come true, but all he could think of was that he had lost the love of his life and could not share these happy moments with him. He did not read the letters that night. The evening had been too highly charged with emotion as it was, and he did not think that he could take any more. He just went to bed.  
On the next day, he told everyone at breakfast that they were spending the day at his sister’s house. Free day for all the others. Mary’s guided tour had had a frank success on the previous day and Loïk and Simona were keen to continue their exploration of the big city. Mary suggested that they went to Vaux Hall Gardens and that Miss Leary was most welcome to accompany them. She agreed, pleased at the idea of a day free from constant questions from the ever-curious Charley.  
Angela and Maximilian had been waiting impatiently since breakfast for the arrival of their cousins. Angela was curious to get to know this girl Max was so enthusiastic about, it was the first time he had something good to say about a girl. Max was 13 and Angela 12, they had been told that Charley was not yet 11 and Meredith probably 14. It was unclear why Meredith did not know how old he was, they had so many questions to ask.   
At last Uncle Ian, as they were told to call him arrived. Presentations were made and finally, the 4 children were allowed to disappear to their rooms. Their uncle had another child with him, a much younger boy. He had been carrying him, perhaps because he was so young and frail-looking. The little one remained with his father and their own parents. It was a very pleasant day. Anne-Laure’s heart went to Nicky immediately. He was such a solemn-looking boy for such a young age. She wanted to get a smile from him at least and with patience and cuddles, she managed it in the end.   
While she was busy playing the nursemaid, Alexander enjoyed the long conversation he had been dreaming of with his brother-in-law. It amused Yannick no end, he found that Alexander had the same questions than Admiral Trewin had and later Hadrian. He enjoyed the exchange very much, he told Alexander little stories about the near escapes old Danae had in India, about the toll on his nerves the continuous chase from the English navy had caused. He shocked the couple when telling them that Charley had been with him all the time. He recounted Meredith’s rescue, his formal adoption of the lad when they returned to France. At the end of the day the children came back to join their parents for dinner. Max was most impressed that his cousins had spent most of their lives on board Danae and sailed around Cape Horn. Meredith told them of the little craft they had at Rosemarkie and promised to take them out if they visited one day.   
‘I shall be returning home in the next few days, so come when you like.’  
The invitation was accepted, and they promised to make the trip in August. They needed to be here for Anna at the moment and Yannick pressed on them that the invitation was also meant for Anna and Louis. He knew from talking to Miss Leary that the children had had a good time in London and they were now ready to go home. The promise of a visit from their cousins had delighted them, they chatted all the way back to the hotel and it helped to stop their father from thinking with a pang of regret at the idea of leaving London and never seeing Hadrian again.


	26. Unexpected events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yannick realises that he cannot stay away from his lover after he is told that he was attacked in the street.

It was now the start of his fourth day without Hadrian, and he was feeling the loss more acutely than ever. He had not slept much again. He knew he had to make a decision soon regarding their return home. He wanted to visit his sister and Louis at least once or twice more.   
Today he would read his mother’s letters and rest. He thought about Anne-Laure who had said that she regretted not having given him a chance to explain himself, he had done the same with Hadrian. Was he going to regret it later? On another hand he remembered the old say ‘in vino veritas’, and he recalled, as if they were etched into his brain, every awful insult Hadrian had said to him. If the old say was to be believed, Hadrian’s words were what he really thought of Yannick.   
The family joined him for breakfast and interrupted his thinking. Everyone chatted around the table as usual. When they got up to leave, the coachman and groom entered the breakfast room and asked Yannick if they could have a private word with him.  
He agreed, curious at the sight of their embarrassed expression. He hoped they had not got themselves into trouble over one thing or the other.   
The coachman told Yannick that they had overheard a conversation this morning while eating with the other coachmen and grooms and they had thought that their employer should be made aware of it.   
One of the men there was telling them that he had saved the life of a gentleman who had been severely beaten in Holborn, not far from the Lincoln’s inn two days ago. He had thought that the 3 men were after the gentleman’s purse, but after they had stolen it, they had drawn a knife and were going for his throat although the man had been knocked unconscious and was not a danger to them. The coachman had shouted in the street, alerting passer-by while waving his stick towards the would-be assassins who had chosen to run away.   
The gentleman was searched and although his purse had been taken, he still had his watch with his name engraved on it. The coachman and another witness had carried the wounded to St Bartholomew’s Hospital, and they had given their names and the addresses they were staying at in case the constable needed to talk to them about the aggression they had witnessed. This morning a constable had come asking for more detailed description of the attackers. The gentleman turned out to be a Lord and he was not out of danger. In fact, his head injury was very severe, he had not yet regained consciousness, and it was likely that he would die of it. The family was cursed, had said the coachman, because only 6 months ago the previous lord had been killed in a freak coach accident with his elder son and 2 grandsons.  
Yannick went very pale upon hearing the story. There were too many coincidences for the injured man not to be Hadrian. His family’s tragedy was uncommon. And of course, Hadrian could have been visiting Robert Fellowes who lived nearby in Magpy Alley.   
He thanked the coachman and the groom for bringing the story to his attention; they had thought that the gentleman in question could be Mr Kermor’s friend, Lord Vernon. Yannick went to find Loïk and Simona to inform them that he was going to be out probably most of the day.   
He visited Robert first. Robert confirmed that Hadrian had come to his room three days ago. He wanted to know Yannick’s new address. Robert had turned him down. He had also refused to give him Louis’s address. Although his investigation for Yannick for over, he felt that he was still beholden to him and that If Yannick had not given his address to Hadrian, then he must have had a good reason for not doing so.   
Yannick mentioned the attack that had taken place on the same day, Robert had heard about it, he was stunned to find out that Hadrian was the likely victim. Yannick asked Robert to try and find out all he could about the aggressors, both men agreed that to try killing an unconscious man after a robbery was unusual, robbers generally only killed when in great danger to themselves. It was also unusual that they did not steal his watch.  
He then made his way to Hadrian’s house. He had butterflies in his stomach at the thought of seeing him again. The news of the attack had shaken him badly. He knew he was still in love with the man despite the awful business of the other night.   
He had played the event back in his mind time and time again and could not understand how Hadrian had been capable of attacking him and insulting him so dreadfully. His throat had been sore for a full day after Hadrian had put pressure on it to keep him under control.   
They had been drunk together before, at the Posting house, the second night after they had met. Hadrian had been randy and demanding, but he had been good-natured about it, in fact, they had laughed a great deal before and after making love.   
It was ironic, last night he had wondered if he shouldn’t have given Hadrian a chance to explain himself instead of leaving the way he had, and now he just hoped that he was not too late and that Hadrian would recover.  
The butler looked pleased to see him at the doorstep, he bid him enter and told him that Mrs Harvey was upstairs in his lordship’s room with the physician. Yannick knocked softly on the door and entered. The curtains were half-drawn, and he did not see Hadrian immediately because the physician was bent over him. Mrs Harvey gave him a wan smile and got up to greet him:  
‘You came. Thank you, he is so poorly, and I did not know how to contact you, we did not know your brother’s address,’ she whispered, her face was drawn, she looked tired out, he wondered how long she had been sitting by his bedside. Still, she looked pleased to see him although she probably blamed him for the attack. Hadrian had been at Holborn because he was looking for him and Mrs. Harvey would know that.  
‘I was not at my brother’s, and I only found out this morning by chance,’ he explained, ‘I would have come sooner if….,’ he did not finish his sentence. The physician had moved, and Yannick could now lay his eyes on his lover and he was devastated by his state.  
Hadrian was propped up in bed his right eye was closed, his left eye was not visible because the left side of his face was a swollen black and blue mess. His lips were swollen too, he was unrecognizable. Furthermore, his beautiful hair had been shaved off and Yannick could see the leeches that the physician had just put on the huge bump on top of his head.  
The physician bowed to Yannick who introduced himself as a friend. He was told that Hadrian had still not regained consciousness. He was given sips of water all day but could not eat of course. The physician did not hide his anxiety to Yannick, he had expected him to have come round by now, the attack had taken place 3 and half days ago and he was concerned over long time sequalae the longer he remained unconscious. The leeches should help relieve pressure on the brain by drinking up blood, he explained, he had noticed the horrified expression on Yannick’s face when he had looked at Hadrian. He bowed again and took his leave until later in the day when he would call again to collect his little workers.  
Mrs. Harvey excused herself and left him on his own by Hadrian’s bedside. He sat down, ill at ease, with a lot of conflicting emotions unsettling him. Rage was the first and foremost emotion he felt. It was directed equally towards Hadrian who had caused him to leave and towards himself for not letting him have at least a note. But why should he have needed to explain, surely Hadrian must have known in the morning that his behaviour was unforgivable. And then of course there was love. He still loved Hadrian, but he did not think that love was enough in this case.  
His thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Harvey who walked back into the room with a pot of coffee and some biscuits. She put them down on the table next to Yannick then she sat down on the chair on the other side of the bed. She drew a deep breath and said:  
‘You are probably going to think that I am out of place for speaking to you in this way, but I will do it, nevertheless. If you are not going to stay with him after he regains consciousness, then it is better that you leave as soon as possible and never come back. You have hurt him enough as it is, his heart will mend, but not if he sees you and imagine that you are coming back to him only to be abandoned again later.’  
‘I don’t know what I’ll do,’ he replied honestly, ‘I love him, but I don’t know if it’s enough to forgive him. I spoke to Robert Fellowes before I came here, he told me Hadrian begged him for help, that he couldn’t understand my leaving him. It’s beyond me that he said that, that he could have imagined that I would forgive his behaviour the night he returned from Mr. Tanner’s. I’ve thought about it since that awful night and I would like to understand, I would like an explanation, and I know his drunkenness will not be a sufficient excuse.’  
‘The footman who opened the door that night told me that his eyes were strange, all black, and although his clothes smelt of drink, his breath did not so much.’  
Yannick frowned, ‘I did not notice his eyes. It was dark and I was asleep. If you want to know, he was violent with me, attacked me and said dreadful things; he was obnoxious; I swore that night that I would never lay eyes on him again,’ he chortled, ‘and yet I came as soon as I heard he was hurt. And now I am at a loss of what to do.’  
Mrs. Harvey looked into Yannick’s tears filled eyes. She had taken to Yannick and his family, she had thought that he was a good man who had truly given to Hadrian the love he had never received from his own family. She could not fathom Hadrian treating his lover badly. She was sure he did not have it in him.  
‘Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it would be better if you talked to each other. Even if it does not make you stand by him at the end, at least you would both hear the other’s explanation.’  
She got up and said: ‘Can I leave you with him, he needs to sip water regularly, but if you wish I can ask for a footman to attend.’  
‘No, I’ll do it, I’ll stay; could I send a messenger to my family though, to let them know I shan’t be back for the foreseeable future?’  
She nodded and promised to send a footman with quill, ink, and paper.  
Yannick used a muslin cloth to dampen Hadrian’s slightly opened parched lips. He pushed a spoonful of water gently into his mouth and was glad to see that he was swallowing without problems. He continued until a full glass had been ingested, then he sat back in his chair and let his memory take him back to better times.  
He remained by Hadrian’s side all day, making sure that he drank water, talking to him and holding his hand caressing his palm with his thumb, a gesture he used to do and was not doing consciously now. The physician came back later as promised and took the leeches away. He decided not to replace them this time, he would call again in the morning.  
A footman brought Yannick some supper and asked if he wished to sleep in his bedroom next door. He declined; he would lay on the chaise longue tonight.  
Yannick slept fretfully, waking up frequently and morning found him tired and aching after a night on the chair. Hadrian’s condition was mostly unchanged, his left eye was slightly less swollen this morning. A footman brought Yannick coffee and breakfast, then Mrs Harvey came in and asked him if he would like to refresh himself in his old room. He accepted, he needed a shave and a wash, he had no clean shirt, so she gave him one of Hadrian’s. She took up the vigil by the bed while he went next door.  
Half an hour later as he was approaching the door between the rooms, he heard Hadrian sobbing, he made out the words, ‘It was but a dream,’ he cried, ‘ I thought I heard him, felt him touch me, but he is not here, I’ve really lost him…,’ the words were interrupted by heart-wrenching sobs and Yannick saw the tears running down Hadrian’s face as he looked at Mrs. Harvey, clutching her hand with his. In two seconds, Yannick crossed the room, sat down on the bed and was holding Hadrian’s other hand, ‘I’m here, it’s not a dream, look at me.’  
He did. His right eye was open and full of tears, his left one still closed, but wet. He did not speak, he just held Yannick’s hand very hard while his erratic breathing was evening out. As soon as he recovered sufficiently, he started to speak again:   
‘I went to Robert, he refused to help me find you. I need to know why you disappeared the way you did.’   
The blue eye staring at Yannick showed angst and his voice had a tone of urgency as if he was panicking at the idea of Yannick leaving again without answering his question. It puzzled Yannick intensely. It sounded as if Hadrian really did not know. Yannick had indulged in alcohol in the past, he remembered the dark months of depression after he met Thomas and that sometimes he had been very drunk, but he also remembered that although he had not controlled his actions or words while drunk, he had remembered when sober how he had behaved even if through a foggy memory. But maybe Hadrian had been affected differently so he asked:  
‘I will tell you why, but I need to understand something first: what do you remember about the evening before my departure?’  
‘I went to Mr. Tanner. He took me out to his club, we had dinner, talked. He introduced me to his friends, some fashionable rakes I did not care much for, but I had a drink with them. I did not wish to stay longer and anyway they all wanted to go to a brothel, and I did not of course. They kept talking about their ‘performances’ and how they took ‘Spanish fly’ to keep their ‘instrument’ going for hours.’   
Suddenly Hadrian remembered that Mrs. Harvey was still holding his other hand, ‘I’m so sorry, Mrs Harvey, I am out of order,’ he said to her. She smiled, let go of his hand, and told him that it was better if they continued this conversation on their own. Hadrian continued his story after Mrs Harvey left the room.  
‘One of them had a pillbox full of lozenges and he was distributing them. I told Mr. Tanner that I would not accompany them and go home instead. I remember him laughing at me, winking that I was lucky to have someone to pleasure me at home contrarily to them. He kept insisting that I tried, and I gave in. His friend gave me 3 lozenges with a drink, and I swallowed them. That’s all I remember. I woke up with a headache and horrendous abdominal pain. I was sprawled half-naked on my bed. I realised then that it was very late. I called a footman and then I found out about your leaving without any explanation.’  
Yannick was silent for a few seconds, ‘and you remember nothing else at all?’ He asked incredulously. ‘No, I swear I don’t. I don’t even know how I got home that night. You have to believe me. You are frightening me with your insistence, I fear that something awful happened that night.’  
‘You are right, it did. And I left because I could not face ever seeing you again.’  
‘And yet you are here,’ said Hadrian softly, ‘your presence brought me back, I am sure of it. I was desperate when I left Robert, I vaguely remember men attacking me, to rob me I suppose. I was thinking of going to Cornwall, I thought that you had already left London,’ he swallowed and said resolutely, ‘you must tell me what happened that night. I need to know.’  
There was a knock on the door and the physician entered, ‘I heard good news downstairs, my Lord. How are you feeling?’  
‘Well enough, thank you, ’replied Hadrian. The physician approached him and started to examine him, Yannick pulled back and Hadrian quickly begged, ‘don’t leave, please. I need to ask a few things from the physician.’ Then he proceeded asking questions concerning those lozenges of ‘Spanish fly’ he had taken. The physician’s eyes widened considerably when he heard that Hadrian was given 3 lozenges. ‘With alcohol you say?’ ‘Yes, whisky.’  
‘Good Lord! You should not be here, my Lord. And I don’t mean after your attack although that was bad enough. Spanish fly is highly dangerous. I have seen foolish men take 2 and die for it. To take 3 with whisky and survive….as I said you are extremely lucky to be alive. Did the other men also take 3?’  
‘Sorry, I don’t know, I did not pay attention. Please, what are the side effects, apart from death, of course,’ asked Hadrian.  
‘The first obvious one would be a painful and long-lasting erection demanding immediate release. There could be breathing disorders, confusion, headache, abdominal pain, and probably many more I don’t know about.’  
‘Memory loss?’ asked Hadrian.  
‘I don’t know, maybe, especially as you drank that night. Heavily?’  
‘More than usual, wine over dinner, Port, whisky later, not sure how much really.’  
‘Total memory loss is not unusual after heavy drinking so if it was combined with the effect of Spanish fly, anything is possible, I suppose.’  
‘How about violent behaviour?’ asked Yannick, ‘is that also possible even if the man is not violent by nature?’ He made a point of not looking at Hadrian as he spoke. The physician, probably guessing the reason behind the question, answered with his eyes also fixed on Yannick only.  
‘Yes, because of frustration if the need for sexual intercourse could not be immediately satisfied. I imagine that a total loss of self-control could arise, and violent behaviour could follow towards whoever happens to be there at the time.’  
A heavy silence followed the physician’s words. He recovered fairly quickly though and turned around to say to Hadrian on a lighter tone:   
‘I can see that you have recovered sufficiently from the knock on your head to stop the bloodletting. I will not put leeches back on. You need to start eating again before you attempt to get out of bed, light food for a start, I will instruct your housekeeper on my way out and I will call again tonight unless you cannot keep your food down; in that case, send for me again please.’   
He bowed and made his way out of the room, leaving Hadrian and Yannick to mull over his words.  
‘I wanted to know,’ said Hadrian quietly, ‘but now I’m afraid of what you are going to say. I should have guessed that you would only leave me if I did something really bad. You have to tell me.’  
Yannick took a deep breath and said quickly: ‘You raped me, you hit me, you tried to throttle me and all the while you insulted me. I did not want sex, I was asleep when you came in, you reeked of alcohol. I escaped by kicking you in the balls. I am not going to give you a detailed description of your actions that night. It hurts me to recall them.’  
Hadrian did not say anything for a while. Tears were running down his cheeks. He said sadly, ‘You’ve told me enough. I don’t know what to say, sorry does not even start to express how I feel. I will never forgive myself for hurting you and I understand you wanting nothing to do with me now knowing what kind of a beast I can become. I was granted a one in a million chance of finding the love of my life and fool that I am I blew it.’  
‘And you are an even bigger fool if you believe that you have blown it,’ replied Yannick, ‘I am here, aren’t I? Do you really think that I would have come when I found out about you being wounded if I wanted nothing to do with you? But you must give me some time.’  
Hadrian bit his lips, his eyes brightening up a little, but not daring to hope too much. Yannick continued, ‘there is something strange in this whole story. Why did they offer 3 lozenges to you with a strong drink? If they were used to take it, they must have known about its dangers, you heard the physician, you should have died. And then your attack is odd too. I talked about it with Robert, robbers don’t try to slit their unconscious victim’s throat, they just take their purse and run, they did not even bother to take your watch from you.’  
Hadrian frowned, ‘what do you mean slit their throat?’  
‘The coachman who intervened said that he hit one of the men with a stick as he was about to slit your throat. The man ran off, I asked Robert to find out what he could about your attackers. He thought the whole business was strange too. And now that I heard what the physician said about what you were given, I wonder if the 2 incidents are not connected.’  
‘You mean someone wants me dead.’  
‘Yes, and I don’t think we need to look very far to find out who.’  
‘Tanner? Surely not!’


	27. detective work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan is drawn to catch the culprits.

Yannick suggested they asked for Robert’s help in unraveling the mystery although in his head it was clear that Mr Tanner was the instigator. He decided to go and visit Robert this very morning and see how far he had got with his enquiries.   
He noticed that Hadrian was uneasy about Yannick leaving his side, but he promised to come back quickly. Hadrian asked him to send a hefty purse to each of his rescuers; he had been told that Robert knew who they were after he’d spoken with the constable. Yannick acquiesced, on his way out, he had a word with Mrs. Harvey, could she make sure that only the physician was allowed by Hadrian’s bedside and that he was never left on his own in his room. He trusted her and informed her of the doubts he had regarding foul play, she promised that only she or John would stay by Hadrian’s bedside.   
Robert was not at home. Yannick left him a note asking him to come to Hadrian’s house as discreetly as he could, using the back door, then he made his way to his hotel to see the children and arranged for them to return to Rosemarkie Manor. He explained that Hadrian was sick and that he would stay with him until they could return to Cornwall together. He wanted them at home rather than worrying about them in London; besides, they had to prepare for their aunt and uncle’s visit later in August. He found Robert at the hotel, in the process of writing him a letter. He had reached the same conclusion than Yannick: someone was out to kill Hadrian.  
Robert’s informants’ network had not managed to find out the identity of the attackers, furthermore, he only had a scan description of them, but thanks to taverns and public houses gossips, he had heard rumours that someone had indeed paid assassins to kill a lord. Robert’s informants were still actively seeking to find out the identity of the men, but Robert had thought that Yannick needed to know that Hadrian was most probably still in danger.   
Robert had personally watched the house on and off during the day, taking note of the people in the area and he had noticed that there was at least one man who had taken the time to say a few words with servants from the house when they were out. Yannick took note of it; he was going to see if the man was known to the house staff.   
Yannick spoke to Miss Leary and Loïk and left them in charge of the journey back to Cornwall. It was decided that they should leave London on the next day without Yannick who wished to wait until Hadrian was well enough to travel back with him. The children were delighted to find out that their father and Hadrian had made up after their quarrel. Yannick had been a bit worried about little Nick, he had started to spend time with him and suddenly he was leaving him for days on end. He found that he had worried unnecessarily, when he had walked in, founding Nick riding on the back of Meredith, holding on to Meredith’s neck and laughing his head off with Charley encouraging Meredith to go faster. It was the first time Yannick was hearing Nick laugh and it stopped his worrying immediately. The little one had been adopted by his elder children as he had hoped he would be.  
Yannick returned to Hadrian’s house with Robert, but they separated a few streets away, Yannick went in by the front door while Robert went in discreetly round the back. Mrs Harvey let Robert in without any other member of the household knowing and she took him to Hadrian’s room. On Robert’s advice, they had decided to take the utmost precautions to protect Hadrian. Mrs Harvey and John were the only ones who were trusted with their plan. She agreed to have a word with the kitchen girl who went to the market every morning and had been seen talking to a man in the street. She would also talk to the footman who ran errands and that Robert had also seen exchanging a few words in passing with that same man.  
Mrs. Harvey found out that both the girl and the footman had only met the man soon after his lordship had been brought home. He had smiled and made casual remarks about the weather the first time they had talked and had carried on his way. The second time, on the following day, the girl had met him on her way back from the market, and as well as greeting her, he had asked if his lordship was better. She had replied, thanking him for his concern. The footman had the same kind of intercourse with the man, who had also enquired about his lordship’s health after he had accompanied the physician to his phaeton with an umbrella. This had continued with both the girl and the footman meeting the stranger, who by now was a familiar sight in the neighbourhood, and who often asked kindly about his lordship’s health.  
The girl and the footman were not told to stop talking to the man, in fact, Mrs. Harvey told them that it was kind of him to enquire about their master’s health and they could tell him how well he was doing with his recovery.   
Robert decided to follow the man, he got out of the house by the back door and posted himself where he could keep an eye on the footman who he knew was going out to buy evening papers. Sure enough, the stranger met the footman and walked with him a little, talking as usual. After they separated, Robert followed the man. They walked for a long way, he stopped frequently, and Robert could see that he was careful to turn around every now and then, but Robert was a true expert at following and he knew how to avoid detection as well as never leaving his quarry out of his sight. Finally, after 2 hours of walking round and round, the man sought entrance by the back door of a large elegant house on Soho Square.  
Robert noted the address and made his way back to Berkeley square.  
He was just in time to join Hadrian and Yannick discreetly for dinner in Hadrian’s bedroom. The physician had advised Hadrian to wait until the next morning before attempting to get out of bed. His appetite was good though and he was enjoying being able to eat a proper meal with meat accompanied with wine. He had spent most of the day on his own until Yannick returned in the afternoon with Robert. They had talked about their next move and as decided; Robert had left them to follow the man after the physician’s visit.  
Hadrian had listened to Yannick telling him of his meeting with his sister and her family as well as with Louis and his mother Anna. Yannick did not mention the drama that occurred though, he knew that he would have to do so sooner rather than later if he was going to go back to living with Hadrian, but not yet. He kept the conversation light although he sensed that Hadrian wished to talk about more private matters.   
Because he was not ready to talk about either his feelings or his plans for the future, Yannick managed to keep the subject at bay. He knew that he loved Hadrian, but he was not yet sure if it was enough or not. He was therefore happy to see Robert come back, just in time before awkward silent moments arose between the two men.   
When Robert disclosed that he had followed the nosy stranger to an address in Soho Square, Hadrian caught his breath in surprise, ‘which number on Soho Square?’ he asked, ‘N°2, my lord,’ was the answer.   
’That’s Tanner’s address!’ Exclaimed both Yannick and Hadrian,   
‘We called to meet him about the court case there and it’s where I joined him before going out to dine with him at his club where I ingested those Spanish fly lozenges on the advice of his friends,’ added Hadrian.  
‘So, Tanner has your house watched and enquire about your health,’ resumed Yannick, ‘if he was really concerned, he could send a footman to come to your door officially, or even call in person, after all, you are supposed to be in good terms now,’ remarked Yannick.  
‘We must indeed assume that this Tanner is the man who wants you dead. After realising that you’ve survived taking ‘Spanish fly’ and that you are recovering after the street attack, he has to make further plans. I don’t believe he will abandon therefore we must guard you and trap the future aggressor before he acts. I don’t think he is going to bide his time, he arranged for the attack very quickly after finding out that you survived the poison, I think we should help him and provide him with an opportunity to renew his attack soon,’ suggested Robert.  
‘You have an idea no doubt?’  
‘I have, do you trust me to make the arrangements, my lord?’  
‘Yes, you have ‘carte blanche’, can you tell us what you need?’  
Robert explained his plan which met with full approval from the 2 friends. Mrs. Harvey was called and told of it as her help was also required. They talked quite late into the evening until it was bedtime. Hadrian’s valet was going to take a turn at spending the night in his lordship’s room. Yannick pretended to leave the house late afternoon only to return later using the tradesmen’s entrance before he retired to his own room next door sharing with Robert.   
Robert had told John that he thought the assassins were determined and that he could be useful in protecting his master. Hadrian had recruited John at his service after his father’s death; Mrs. Harvey had recommended him among the servants of the household, and Hadrian had trusted her.   
John was in his fifties, he had a speech impairment and one side of his face had been burnt in infancy, so Hadrian’s father had deemed him only useful for fetching and carrying, paying him a pittance and requiring him to keep out of sight of visitors. Mrs Harvey had soon discovered that John was worth a far better position than the one given to him. He had hands of gold. He could mend any garments, embroider the most difficult patterns on delicate fabrics and he had over the years and unknown to his employers saved many of their favourite clothes. Valets and ladies’ maids often came to find John when seemingly impossible tasks had been given to them.   
John had resigned himself to the sad fact that he was going to be out of work after Hadrian had the house closed; to be offered instead the coveted post of valet to his lordship had left him speechless. He knew what he owed to Mrs Harvey and his lordship, and his loyalty would never waver.  
Next morning, Mrs Harvey caught the attention of the butler in the hall and she told him that his lordship wished to hire another footman because he expected guests to come and visit. She made sure that she informed the butler loud enough for the kitchen maid to hear and this before she went out to market.  
Robert was already outside, waiting to follow the girl and see if she was going to meet the stranger as usual on her way to market. She did, they exchanged a little longer than usual, Robert saw the man’s obvious interest in her words and Robert dearly hoped that the bait was taken. He stopped following the girl and switched to following the man instead. Robert soon realised that he was making his way rather faster and with a more direct route towards Soho Square than the one he had taken previously.  
Robert maintained his vigil patiently; he was rewarded when the man left the house again two hours later. Robert continued following him, he did not return towards Hadrian’s house, but walked a few streets away, still in the fashionable area until he reached a large three-storey town house. He went around to the tradesmen entrance and gained admittance. Robert waited again, the man did not stay more than one hour this time before he exited the place, he walked along the street for a little while until gaining entrance to yet another house. Robert was of course extremely intrigued by the man’s errands, at least he was not bored as was sometimes the case when following someone. Then his quarry came out of the second house and returned to Tanner’s house, on Soho Square. Robert waited outside for the rest of the day. Later in the evening, after curtains had been drawn and candles extinguished, he thought that he would not make any more headways for the time being, and he returned to Hadrian’s house, still using the back door.   
After Robert’s departure, Hadrian had been keen to get out of bed and eat breakfast at a table. Yannick and John had been ready one on each side of him to help should his strength falter. It did not, Hadrian took small careful steps to the table and started to tuck into his food with as much enthusiasm as he had done on the previous night. John had shaved him earlier but had kept mirrors well away from him. It had annoyed Hadrian who was impatient to see what damage had been done to his handsome face. It was not so much Hadrian’s reaction at seeing his face that worried Yannick: it was obvious that he was mending well and luckily his nose had not been broken. His eye was fine, he could open it now, his face swelling had receded, he only had the black, blue yellow colours left as a remainder; it was his reaction when he would see that all his beautiful hair had been shorn. Hadrian was quite vain when it came to his hair, so to see his head without its crowning golden glory was going to upset him no end.   
After his breakfast, Hadrian requested a mirror again. John exchanged a concerned look with Yannick which was not missed by Hadrian who exploded:  
‘Stop trying to protect me, do you think I don’t know about my hair? Do you think I have not touched my head since I regained consciousness?’   
He was pleased to see that Yannick looked suitably embarrassed and with a sigh went to the dressing table to pick up a mirror. He decided to say nothing and handed it to him. He saw Hadrian pale at the sight of his bald head, marred by a large blue-black bump just above his forehead. He put the mirror down and asked angrily:  
‘And don’t you dare tell me it will grow again, was it really necessary to shave the lot?’  
‘Probably for the leeches, also to check for other injuries maybe, I don’t know.’   
‘I want a bath, then I want to be left alone,’ he said gruffly.  
He rang for a footman to comply with his wish while Yannick turned around quickly towards the door to his room with a grin on his face, he had not been fast enough though, Hadrian had noticed the grin, and he exploded again:  
‘It’s nothing to laugh about, how would you like it if you became ugly all of a sudden?’  
Yannick disappeared to his room before the arrival of the footman answering his lordship’s call; it stopped him to comment further. After the man departed, on his way to organise the bath, Yannick returned to Hadrian’s side. His expression was thoughtful as he looked at the distressed man in front of him. He did not speak, he cupped Hadrian’s face tenderly between his hands and kissed his mouth, gently at first, with a light touch of lips then deeper when he felt Hadrian’s mouth opening for his. The kiss became more and more passionate, Hadrian’s arms had slid around his lover’s waist and he was holding him tightly as if afraid of him falling down or disappearing under-ground.  
Yannick broke the kiss gently, they looked at each other, both flushed and aroused, Yannick spoke first:   
‘Your bath will be brought up soon, better be careful, for now,’   
He saw the hopeful light in Hadrian’s eyes as he murmured:   
‘For now? Does it mean there’s hope for us yet?’ Yannick smiled mischievously before kissing the bump on Hadrian’s head,   
‘Suits you, you know, with a golden ring in your ear you would make a dashing pirate captain!’   
Hadrian did not have time to answer, a knock on the door announced the arrival of the servants carrying bath, water, and towels. Yannick quickly made himself scarce. He lay on his bed thinking of Hadrian. Damn the man, he had bewitched him in India, and he knew he would never be free of him. His anger had all but gone, he now understood that Hadrian had been under the influence of a strong drug and alcohol when he had attacked him, and not in control of his actions.   
He remembered how easy it was to lose control under influence, had he not totally lost control that first night when the 2 handsome guards had joined him in his bath? He had breathed incense all night at the feast and drank too much which had left him light-headed and had wiped away any objections he would normally have had; he had abandoned his body shamelessly to be used time and time again, craving for more all night.   
The difference with what had happened to Hadrian was that Yannick had remembered it all in the morning. At first, he had felt embarrassed and ashamed, but the memory of the intense pleasure he had experienced had prompted him to seek their company again, night after night, fully aware of his actions. It had resulted in a big argument between himself and Maxence. He had made up with his friend eventually, but he knew that his behaviour had been known by his officers and that at least one of them had not forgiven him for his weakness. He was pretty certain that the accusation that he had participated in orgies had stemmed from his conduct at the palace; the officer who had resented him most was a man of staunch religious beliefs who had not hesitated in confronting his Admiral, brandishing a bible in his hand, and telling him that his lack of morals would send him to hell.   
Yannick had ignored the man; since he was 15 years old, he had learned to live with the choices he had made in his life and he had not regretted them; he had talked freely about them to Hadrian. What he could never accept though was that his body be taken without his consent. Always at the back of his mind were the ugly memories of the rapes he had been subjected to in his youth. Never again, he swore; he would kill anyone who tried to take him against his will. So why was he more upset to have heard Hadrian call him a whore and a catamite than to have forced himself on him? After all, he had given his body to André in exchange for a better life and not out of love for the man. He had been called the captain’s catamite by the crew, and he had weathered the insults at the time. He had told this to Hadrian, and his lover had not seemed to mind about his past behaviour, but maybe he had.   
He got up and resolved to have it out with him. He had refused to give details of that dreadful night to Hadrian, but he now thought otherwise. If he wanted a chance to make up and live with him again as they had before the incident, then honesty was needed.   
He returned to Hadrian’s room after the servants departed. Hadrian was sitting in a comfortable armchair by the window, looking thoughtful. Yannick brought a chair next to him and asked him if he was still willing to hear the details of that night. He was, it would be easier to deal with the consequences of his acts if he knew exactly what he had done, he said. So, Yannick related what had happened. He found it difficult to repeat the insults, but he needed to see Hadrian’s reaction when hearing the words.  
There was a look of genuine disbelief on Hadrian’s face. He looked at Yannick, appalled, and unable to speak. He thought of saying sorry, but somehow the word seemed terribly inadequate and he couldn’t think straight. Yannick read Hadrian’s emotions on his face, he had told the story as simply as possible, keeping his voice steady all along, and never leaving his lover’s eyes as he did. He let the silence settled for a few minutes, then, realising that Hadrian was too overwhelmed to talk, he decided to continue with the questions that he felt had to be answered.  
‘I need to know if you were honest with me when you told me that you understood why I agreed to become André’s lover. I was honest with you about my past love life, and if you truly resent it, it is going to be a problem sooner or later. Our relationship is still new, we got together because we enjoyed each other in bed, and love has grown between us, but if it is to last over time, we need to clear this up now. If you resent my past, you will throw it to my face more and more often and I will resent you because you knew about my past lovers,’ Yannick took a deep gasp of air before continuing, ‘I did hold back some of my past from you. I did it because it was too painful to recall, but that night brought the memories back to the fore and you need to know it all to understand my reaction. I was raped in the past. Several times. The first time, the man who did it was my own father and I was 7. It lasted every summer until I was nearly 12. The second time, I was 19, it was on board “Liberté”, after André was killed. The first lieutenant gave me command of the English prize ship we captured because he thought it was going to sink. But before he had me transferred to the prize, he and his cronies raped me. I don’t know how many used me because I passed out after a while. When they finished, they tossed me over to the English ship. Loïk looked after me there. You are the only man I told all of this. I told Meredith about my father when we talked about his own abuse, to let him know that I understood how he felt. I discovered recently that my sister also knew after she found letters from my mother. I never told anyone about the other assaults, but of course, a lot of men know, the perpetrators, Loïk and my crew on board the prize. I swore to kill the next man who attempted to take me against my will. I perfectly understand that you were not yourself when you went for me, and I can forgive this, but your words, that’s another matter, why did they come to your head at all if you do not resent my past?’  
Hadrian took Yannick’s hands in his and squeezed them tight. His lover’s revelations had shaken him, his own relationship with his father had been bad, but he could not believe that a man could do such a thing to his own son. He knew that some men enjoyed using children sexually, at sea he had witnessed the hanging a sailor who had been caught raping a 10-year-old ship’s boy. He felt sick at the thought of his love having been subjected to such depravity in his childhood and his heart sank at the thought that he had probably hurt him too much to save their relationship. He chose his words carefully, but spoke earnestly hoping that Yannick would see how sincere he was:   
‘I don’t know why I insulted you any more than why I attacked you in the first place. It was not me, but some beast unleashed by whatever I ingested and who took over me. I have never thought about you in those terms, and I do not resent your past. Not at all. In India, you made me the proudest man on earth when you offered yourself to me. When you returned my gaze, I was at the same time flattered beyond words and terrified. You were so beautiful. I knew it could be a trap, but I was ready to risk my life on the chance that you wanted me. Back in England, I read the articles written about you, but it did not stop me from trying to find you, and even if you had told me that they reported the truth I would still have wanted you all the same. Ironically, after you told me of your past, I envied how you had led your life, how strong you had to be to reach your goals despite the obstacles and the sacrifices you had to make. And today I realise that I was wrong. You are not that strong, you had to learn to live with what you’ve suffered, but there was a price to pay, wasn’t there, a price which has left you vulnerable,’ Hadrian paused, he was still holding Yannick’s hands in his, he asked with an even gentler voice, ‘you ran away the other night rather than facing me in the morning. Why?’  
‘Because I am proud too. I could not show you how distressed I was. I have always strived to hide my hurt from the people I love. I was frightened by what I would see in your eyes in the morning, so I ran, I thought it would be less painful this way. Only it wasn’t. I should have known better, it was not the first time I chose to run: I ran to England after those articles were published to hide my pain and my shame, and I ran from Anne-Laure too. I found her in London just after the end of the war, but I did not have the courage to face her. So, you are right, I am not so strong.’  
‘I understand better now. You must not doubt me, my love, I will always listen to you, and I will always respect you, my dearest wish is to grow old with you.’  
Yannick looked at Hadrian, he had wanted to believe him because he loved the man, and he found that he did believe him without doubt; as often with him, his relief expressed itself with mischief, so with a frown he murmured, grinning, as his lips brushed Hadrian’s cheek:   
‘I am not so sure I will still want you when you’re old, not if you lose your hair anyway!’ Then before Hadrian had a chance to reply he kissed him as he had done earlier. Hadrian tried to mumble an outraged answer, but Yannick forbid him pushing his tongue deep into Hadrian’s mouth in a long hungry kiss, so he gave up.   
They kissed for a long while until Yannick freed himself from the embrace. Hadrian looked at him with unmistakable desire, trying to hold him back. Yannick got up without a word and went to the door. He locked it. Then he went to his own door and also locked it before coming back to Hadrian, his gestures made his wishes clear and Hadrian stood up, he encircled his waist and led him to the bed. They kissed again and undressed each other with haste, with the same urgency than the one they had experienced at the Posting house.  
They made love passionately, Yannick pulling Hadrian as close as he could, his hands pulling his lover’s body tightly to him and his hips pushing shamelessly and relentlessly against Hadrian’s. Hadrian would not let go of his lover’s mouth, he wanted to lose himself inside the beautiful body underneath him, feel him squirm uncontrollably under him with the pleasure he provided. Yannick spent first, it had been difficult for Hadrian to hold on until he did, but he was rewarded as usual with the delicious sensation of his lover tightening around him as he climaxed, and spent in turn inside his shuddering lover. They relaxed their hold on each other, Hadrian nudged his head in the crook of Yannick’s neck with a sigh. He did not withdraw from him; he knew by now how much Yannick enjoyed feeling him go soft inside him and slipping away naturally from his body.   
They finally entangled and made themselves more comfortable. Yannick rested his head on Hadrian’s chest, his arm round his waist and one leg between his lovers’, he was not ready to put more distance than that between them for the moment and Hadrian was not one to complain. They were silent, both enjoying their reunion and relieved that they had a future together. Yannick broke the silence first:   
‘We need to catch Tanner fast; we can’t go back to Cornwall with a threat over your head.’  
Hadrian was playing with his lover’s hair, ‘maybe it was just a misunderstanding,’ he said, ‘what would Tanner achieve if he killed me?’   
‘Revenge, some men can’t stand the thought of losing an argument. Anyway, we shall soon have an answer, as Robert said, he won’t hesitate to strike again soon,’  
Hadrian grumbled, ‘yes and in the meantime, I shall have to see you share your room with Robert while I share mine with John,’   
Yannick laughed, ‘just as well we managed this little siesta this afternoon then, my sweet demanding lover,’ he drew one hand slowly down Hadrian’s stomach than continuing towards a more interesting part of his lover’s body, ‘so soft, warm and helplessly sweet,’ he murmured in Hadrian’s ear while caressing him lightly:   
‘Won’t be so helpless in a minute if you keep this going,’ muttered Hadrian. Yannick answered with a moan and closed his hand around his lover. Just as he loved to feel him go soft inside him, he loved feeling the softness change to hardness thanks to his handling. Hadrian responded as expected and they were soon making love again, more gently and for longer this time, the desperation of earlier replaced by tenderness.  
When the physician called late in the afternoon, he declared Hadrian fit. He had recovered from his contusion, but the physician advised him to take it easy for the following weeks, avoiding any strenuous sports or exercise, there was no telling how much damage had been done inside his head, he said. He was fit for traveling, as long it was comfortably. His bruises would be gone soon, and Hadrian was reassured to hear the physician say that because he had not shown signs of losing his hair before there was no reason for it not to grow again.  
Dinner was served in Hadrian’s room. They shared the food and wondered if the quantity piled on the tray had attracted comments from the cook…Mrs Harvey had probably told the woman that his lordship needed eating like two to help his recovery…The 2 lovers were hungry, they had skipped lunch and used up quite a lot of energy in the afternoon.   
Mrs Harvey was glad to see them talking easily to each other again and laughing, and of course, there was a look in their eyes which told her that all was now well between them. It made her happy, but sad at the same time because she knew that Hadrian had no further reason to stay in London. The house would soon be inhabited again, the furniture would be covered in white sheets, the curtains drawn, and she would remain alone with the doorman and a gardener in the deserted house, closed to visitors, for months to come. She had been so happy when it had been full; especially with the children’s laughter resounding in the rooms, still, at least she would have a job, albeit a boring one.   
Hadrian asked John to watch the back door because Robert would be returning quietly later that night and to take him to his room secretly as soon as he returned. John had brought a plate full of food upstairs after dinner, in case his lordship was hungry in the night, he had told the cook. His lordship was still making up for the days when he had not been eating. Robert was most grateful for the attention. The lovers listened to his report with interest, unfortunately, Hadrian did not know who lived at the addresses of the two houses visited by the spy. It was frustrating to know that something which would affect their lives was being prepared, but that they could only wait for new development.


	28. The trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trap is in place and ready to catch both the small fish and the bigger one.

Next morning, a man presented himself to the butler saying that he had heard that his lordship needed another footman. The butler referred to Hadrian to inform him, and handed the references that the man had produced. Hadrian examined them with Robert, and they were very interested in the references, both supplied by gentlemen who lived at the two addresses Robert had noted the day before. They had their man. They were sure of it.   
Hadrian interviewed him in his bedroom, laying in the chaise longue in a housecoat. He adopted a languid tone, keeping a handkerchief pressed on the right side of his face, playing the weak convalescent.   
He asked why he had left his previous employments and more precisely how he had learned of a vacant position in his house given the fact that he had not advertised it yet in the papers. The man answered with plausible reasons for leaving his previous positions and told Hadrian that a friend had told him of the vacancy, this friend worked in the area and knew some of his lordship’s servants.   
Robert was listening from behind the door to Yannick’s room. The rest of the interview went well, and Hadrian told his butler that he was happy with the new recruit. His name was William and he was told that he could start immediately. William thanked them and went to get his personal things.  
Hadrian had already emphasised to Mrs Harvey and to John that the presence of Robert in the house had to remain secret. The butler and the other servants had not been put into the confidence and they did not know he was there. Robert would be staying in Yannick’s room and take his meals there. The new man must not suspect his presence.   
Yannick played the visiting friend, entering the house by the front door in the middle of the day and leaving after dinner still using the front door, only to return by the back door a few moments later. John was thoroughly enjoying himself, it brought spice in his otherwise dull life to play this game of hide and seek with Yannick and Robert.  
The next two days showed no further development. William was getting used to the house. Hadrian kept to his bedroom, still playing too sick to come down and his meals were delivered by John who picked up a tray from the kitchen. William had noticed that his lordship was picky with his food, three and sometimes even four different dishes were prepared every day and there was no telling in advance which one John would take up for his master.   
Mrs Harvey noticed that William had suggested taking the breakfast tray up on the morning of the third day after John had complained of a pain in his hip. Robert, Hadrian, and Yannick wondered if the suspect was not going to try poisoning. After all, it was the easiest way to kill Hadrian, and the safest because he could deliver his tray and leave the house immediately after. Hadrian, who was fed up with being confined to his room decided that they should give him an opportunity.   
As it was, Hadrian had a favourite cake which would do very nicely to tempt a would-be poisoner into action, so Mrs Harvey was called and told that his lordship fancied eating an almond cake at teatime. The cook obliged of course, and the cake was made ready for afternoon tea. She dusted it very generously with icing sugar on Mrs Harvey’s instructions. At tea-time, John came down to bring the tray with tea and cake upstairs, moaning again that his hip was still playing up and hoping that his lordship would soon be well enough to leave his room to save him the stairs. William was in the kitchen, he had been hovering there for the last hour or so, and he offered again to take the tray up in lieu of John. John hesitated, but Mrs Harvey told him kindly that his lordship would understand surely, so he gratefully accepted William’s offer.   
When William entered Hadrian’s bedroom, he found that his lordship was alone today, his friend had not visited and he was sitting near the window, waiting for his tea. He did not question William as he was setting the food on the side table, but as the man-made to turn and leave the room, Hadrian said pleasantly while cutting a piece of cake:   
‘Wait, please, I’d like you to try this,’ William froze for a second then looked at Hadrian and replied:   
‘Thank you, my lord, that’s very kind, but I can’t accept,’   
‘Oh, but I insist, William,’ Hadrian had put the piece of cake on a plate and was handing it to the man.   
‘My lord, almonds don’t agree with me, they give me the most dreadful rashes,’ pleaded William.   
‘Eat it,’ Hadrian’s voice had gone cold and hard. William quickly made for the door, he opened it and found Robert and John behind it, he then noticed that one door concealed by wall tapestry opened and another man appeared. He glanced at the closed window, knowing that they were on the second floor, but before he could get to it, Hadrian had got up and was barring this escape route as well. He tried to bluff it out:   
‘What’s this, I don’t understand.’  
‘You don’t have to,’ said Hadrian, smiling pleasantly, ‘if you are guilty of nothing. Just eat the cake and we’ll let you go in a little while. I tell you what, I don’t want to be unreasonable, I understand you might not like almonds so have a cup of tea with it, it will help get the cake down you.’  
William went very pale; he could see no way out of it. He had sprinkled the arsenic powder liberally on the cake, it blended well with the icing sugar he had seen the cook put on earlier. He had also put quite a bit in the teapot. His employer had made it clear that Hadrian was not to survive this time.   
‘And if I don’t comply?’ he asked,   
‘We will hold you here until the apothecary comes to examine this cake and the tea, and to gain time we shall also call a constable, so if nothing is amiss you will be able to complain to him about the way I have treated you.’   
William ran for the door where Yannick stood, he tried to punch him as he attempted to pass but did not make it, Yannick held him tight and Robert soon joined to help. William struggled hard to escape, but it was useless, they were far stronger than him and he found himself pushed on a chair and tied up in no time.  
The apothecary confirmed the presence of arsenic in both cake and tea, enough to be deadly if Hadrian had either eaten or drank. Hadrian went to the local magistrate to make an official complaint, with the constable bringing with him William and the apothecary and Robert as witnesses.   
Yannick chose to stay in the House, he preferred to keep a low profile in London, not wishing to provoke suspicions regarding his relationship to Hadrian. As long as his family had been staying at the house with them, Yannick had felt safe, but he knew how fast rumours started; he did not trust Hadrian’s butler after noticing the way he sometimes looked at Yannick. He had expressed his suspicions to Hadrian who had agreed with him, better if Yannick’s name did not appear on a list of witnesses to be questioned either. Under interrogation, William admitted to the murder attempts on Hadrian and gave the name of his paymaster, Mr. Tanner.  
The local magistrate did not like this affair at all. Mr. Tanner was a landed gentleman and the references William had provided had also been signed by two gentlemen. Nevertheless, Hadrian was a peer of the realm and he could not ignore the complaint. Hadrian mentioned that as well as the attack in the street, he had also been poisoned earlier in a reputed gentlemen’s club. The magistrate ordered prison for William and referred the case to a grand jury to decide if it should go to trial at the Old Bailey. He nevertheless admitted that it would be hard to prove Mr Tanner or the other two gentlemen’s involvement: the magistrate only had the words of a villain against them.  
William swore that he would not go down alone for this, he also gave the name of the man who had hit Hadrian and attempted to murder him at Holborn as well as the name of the third man. This third man, Davy Jones, was in direct link with Mr. Tanner, William said, they met at the Peacock, he said, he had not approached Tanner in person, only Jones. Robert suspected that Jones was also the man who had been watching Hadrian’s house.   
Hadrian insisted that Mr. Tanner be arrested and that his friends who had provided the references questioned. The magistrate agreed somewhat reluctantly, but it was too late to act this day he would send constables accompanied by Robert to Tanner’s house early next morning. Hadrian could only comply with this decision, even if he would have preferred action this very day, but the proceedings had taken a long time and it was now close to 10 pm and darkness had fallen.  
Robert and Hadrian walked out of the magistrate’s court, satisfied at least to see William taken shackled to prison, ‘I think we should get at least Tanner’s chief thug now,’ said Robert as they walked, ‘I don’t trust him, or Tanner for that matter to be at home in the morning,’ Hadrian looked surprised,   
‘You think that they could be warned in advance?’   
‘Yes,’ replied Robert, ‘I don’t know this magistrate, but I know plenty are corrupt and Tanner and friends have money enough to buy their way out.’   
‘So, what’s next?’  
‘We get Jones to come out, and we persuade him to tell us where the man who hit you is hiding. We need to produce them both at the Old Bailey if we want a chance to get to Tanner. It’s possible that he will run, but if his men swore that he is the one who gave the order to kill you, then he could stand trial for his crime.’  
Hadrian agreed, quite excited at the idea of some action. They made their way to Tanner’s house and Robert knocked at the back door, he told them he had a message for Davy Jones from William:   
‘The deed is done, but William needs help, could he meet Davy at The Peacock now.’   
The doorman agreed to give the message. Robert and Hadrian hid in the dark, they did not have long to wait. A man soon got out of the back door and walked briskly in their direction. Robert recognized him despite the night, he had followed him long enough to know his gait. As soon as he passed them, he was jumped on by Robert and Hadrian. They secured him without any problems, Jones was strong, but not sufficiently to escape his two determined aggressors. They tied him up, hands and feet and while Robert watched him, Hadrian stopped a hackney coach. The coachman did not like transporting a trussed-up man much, but a gold coin soon shut him up.   
Hadrian’s doorman gasped when he opened the door to Hadrian and Robert who were dragging a tied-up man between them. Yannick was just as surprised and glad that at least 2 of the aggressors of Holborn were now in custody. Jones was taken to the cellar below the house. He was tied up to a pillar. Robert told him that William was in prison and he would be taken to the magistrate’s court in the morning, but before he was to tell them where they could find Abe Smith, the third accomplice. Jones snarled at him, no way he said. Robert shrugged.   
‘That was the best offer we had, if you don’t speak, you will get the worst.’   
‘You are going to torture me?’ Jones looked defiant,   
‘No,’ said Robert, ‘we will not dirty our hands on you, we will let the rats do it and when you are dead, we will dump you in the river. The state your corpse will be in, no one will recognize you.’   
Robert did not even look at Jones who had paled at his words, he took Jones’s shoes off and got his knife out and he continued explaining on a conversational tone:   
‘I am going to make your feet bleed to attract the rats before I do that I am going to gag you, can’t disturb the servants with your screaming,’ he said, ‘so this is your last chance to speak, I hate losing my time, we’ll find Smith some other way,’   
He looked at the man again as his cold eyes. Jones read the determination in his look, he turned to Hadrian and Yannick and did not read the slightest sign of sympathy on either of their faces. Robert took a rag and twisted it to make the gag. Jones moaned,   
‘All right, I’ll tell you,’ and he gave them an address near Westminster Abbey, in the ‘The sanctuary’, an area of London Yannick had discovered recently. Jones rolled his eyes in terror when Robert put the gag on anyway, he shook his head desperately from side to side and Robert said nothing to soothe him. The thug only relaxed when Robert and his 3 captors left him alone in the dark cellar.  
Yannick convinced Hadrian to stay at home while Robert and himself went for Abe Smith. He was still recovering, he reminded him that the physician had advised against exertions and he had done quite enough for one day. Hadrian reluctantly agreed, he was more tired than he liked to admit, he also had a headache.   
Yannick and Robert left the house after having the chaise rigged for them, they did not take the coachman, Robert drove them, he knew the way and where he could leave the carriage safely until they returned with their man hopefully. They had changed into plain clothes the gardener kept for dirty work outside, John had helped them getting them even dirtier and shabbier. They each carried pistols in their belts, and knives in their boots.  
The two men made their way silently deep within the maze of dark and smelly streets of ‘The sanctuary’. It was not quiet; rowdy men and women roamed the streets, most of them noisy drunkards and prostitutes but also, to Yannick’s despair, children, far too small to be out and some looking drunk too. He forced his eyes away from them knowing he could do nothing to help. He had been tempted to distribute a few coins, but Robert had stopped him, they could not afford to bring attention to themselves, furthermore, the coins would go to their keepers to buy gin, not bread, he said, and Yannick had to admit sadly that he was more than likely right.   
They reached the address Jones had given them; it was a tavern, Smith rented a room there he had said. They got themselves a drink, the place was dirty, smelly, and full, they knew they would have to play it very carefully if they wanted to get out of there alive. Robert asked for Smith at the bar, ‘who wants him?’ was the answer, ‘a friend of Davy, wants a job done,’ said Robert. They were told to wait as the man whispered something to a lad behind the bar who got out at the back. It looked hopeful, seemed that their prey was home.   
After 10 minutes or so, a burly man walked to their table and sat down. He ordered a bottle of gin, ‘you’re paying,’ he said looking at Yannick and Robert, ‘If you are Smith,’ replied Robert and the man nodded. The bottle arrived, and Robert paid. When the server left, he said,   
‘So, what does Davy wants doing?’   
‘He has a client who wishes for a rival of his to have a fatal accident,’ whispered Robert, ‘but I would rather speak of this somewhere quieter if you don’t mind.’ Smith took a large swivel of gin and nodded,   
‘I understand, we can discuss this in my room upstairs,’ he said. He got up, Yannick and Robert followed him out of the tavern, to a door nearby. They waited to go inside before acting.  
Robert was amazingly fast and deadly accurate. The back of his hand went down on Smith’s neck and the man collapsed. Yannick pulled the rope he had wrapped around his waist and they tied the unconscious man’s arms behind his back. Then making sure no one saw them come out of the door they dragged him along in the streets, holding him as friends would helping a drunk. They had no trouble; Robert had hoped that if an alarm was not raised they would be all right because in those streets every person’s business was his own. Smith moaned at one point, signs that he was coming round, but Robert immediately sent him back to sleep again. They were mightily relieved when they got to their chaise and on their way back to Hadrian’s house. One hour later, Smith was safely trussed up in the cellar with Jones, still unconscious.  
Robert and Yannick joined Hadrian in the drawing-room to relate their adventure while eating a very late supper and drinking wine. They chatted happily until the early hours of the morning. Robert was given a room and Hadrian and Yannick made their way to theirs, Hadrian giving orders that they were to be left to sleep in the morning. Yannick remarked once they were on their own that they couldn’t afford to sleep late, they had to go and deliver their prisoners to the magistrate.   
Hadrian just replied, ‘I know but I don’t want you to leave me during the night, your face is the first one I wish to see when I wake, not John’s,’ when they reached Yannick’s room door Hadrian pulled his lover away from it, ‘let me undress you tonight if you don’t mind,’ he was rewarded with a mischievous grin and a nod.  
Inside the bedroom, Hadrian kissed Yannick deeply, his hands rowing over his lover’s body, pushing the coat away from his shoulders and starting to pull at the shirt with impatient hands. He stopped Yannick’s hands trying to do the same to him, ‘just hold me,’ he asked, pleased when his lover complied and put his arms around his neck. They only separated to get rid of the shirt, the pants came off easily and Yannick stepped out of them, naked in Hadrian’s arms. Hadrian was still fully clothed, he led Yannick to the bed and gently lowered him there before he resumed his kissing and caressing the beloved body beneath him, his tongue and teeth teasing and biting Yannick’s nipples in the way he knew would drive his lover over the edge while his hand moved lower down to bring him to climax.   
Then Hadrian lifted himself from his contented lover’s body and started to undress under Yannick’s watchful eyes. His cock was hard and painful, he put his hand around himself, ready to finish himself off when Yannick’s hand stopped him, their eyes locked for a few seconds, Yannick pushed him gently away and turned around, offering himself for Hadrian in the same way he had several years ago, in Indonesia; he knew it was Hadrian’s favourite position, the one when he felt in complete control of his lover’s body, pushing deeply and relentlessly until he made Yannick cry out in pleasure, something he usually managed to stifle through years of experience in keeping quiet during intercourse.  
Hadrian came undone and slumbered over his lover, they stayed this way for a few minutes while their beating hearts resumed a normal rhythm then they entangled themselves, facing each other, kissing and settling in a comfortable position before going to sleep with a smile on their lips.


	29. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yannick Loses his love again and decides on a course of action that could land him in trouble.

Yannick woke up when he heard insistent knocking on the door. He remembered that they needed to go to the magistrate’s court this morning to deliver their prisoners. Hadrian’s arm was wrapped around his waist, he did not move. He heard John’s voice through the door, ‘It’s John, your lordship, it’s getting late, are you awake?’ Yannick turned to look at Hadrian, unwilling to answer to John himself in case someone else heard his voice, and he froze.   
Hadrian was not moving at all, he was lying on his side, his head turned towards him on the pillow. Despite the lack of light in the room, Yannick could see that he was very pale and looking deeply asleep. Panic rose, Hadrian’s arm suddenly felt heavy on his waist, and cool, much too cool, he touched it, pinching it to get a response from his lover, but none came moreover the skin felt wrong under his touch. He sat up, taking Hadrian’s face in his hands, holding the slightly opened mouth close to his own and he started to tremble uncontrollably when he felt no breath. He pushed Hadrian’s limp body onto his back, holding his shoulders tightly and shaking him gently, calling out desperately for him to wake up.   
He became faintly aware of hands on his own shoulders trying to pull him off Hadrian’s body. He resisted, but the man kept on, he heard him speak too and his fuddled shocked brain recognized John who was speaking gently to him, telling him to let go, that he could do no more and that the physician had been called. He then realised that Robert and Mrs Harvey were also in the room. John, with the help of Robert pulled Yannick out of the bed. John laid his housecoat on his shoulders. He tried to resist and go back to the bed until Mrs Harvey put her hands on him gently,   
‘you have to get to your room and be dressed when the physician call. John will help you; you can come back after and sit by his bed.’   
Yannick looked at her unseeingly, he felt out of his own body, looking from above at a scene which did not concern him. He let John take him next door and sit him on a chair while he pulled clothes out for him. He let John dress him, he was not really here, it was a nightmare and the quicker he woke up the better it would be.  
He came out of his daze when he heard the physician’s voice in Hadrian’s room. He had no idea of how long he had remained sitting down on the chair, immobile. He got up and made his way there, with John at his side. He was vaguely aware the loyal valet had not left him on his own.   
The physician was standing up near Hadrian’s bed and he was talking to Mrs Harvey, Yannick caught words even though his mind had trouble fully understanding their meaning, ‘internal head injury,’ ‘contusion,’ ‘consequences,’ ‘didn’t feel it,’ ‘died in his sleep,’ he heard it all and approached the bed, staring at his lover, lying flat, covered by a sheet up to his waist, his hands crossed over his chest, his face white but serene. Someone had dressed him in a nightshirt. Yannick’s hand touched on his beloved’s forehead and he withdrew it immediately as if burnt. The skin was colder than earlier when he had held his face in his hands. He rubbed his eyes, closing them tightly shut, but when he reopened them, nothing had changed. Hadrian’s body was still lying there, still, lifeless on his bed: his lover was gone. Yannick was not aware that he was breathing fast, his fists so tight that his nails dug into his palms. The physician looked at him worryingly, the man was probably going into shock, he thought, he touched his arm soothingly and told him to sit down, that he was going to give him a drink to help him out.   
Yannick looked up, ‘I am all right,’ he said, ‘I know what will help. Thanks all the same.’ He did not manage a smile, but the look in his eyes reassured the physician, he was pulling himself together after the sudden death of his friend and mourning could start.  
Yannick left the room. He had no business being there any longer, Hadrian’s essence was gone, some called it soul, what was left was an empty shell. The physician had misread the look in Yannick’s eyes as acceptance, in fact, it had been the realisation of what he had to do next. He returned to his room and slid his dagger in his boot then he made his way down to the cellar. It was empty. He stood there disbelieving. How had they escaped? He ran back up the stairs and met the butler who informed him that Robert and one footman had taken the prisoners away to the magistrate’s court earlier in the morning.  
He wanted to go after them and realised that he did not know where the court was. The butler did not know either, or lied, Yannick was not sure. He had to wait for Robert’s return and give him a piece of his mind. When they did return, Robert found it hard to meet Yannick’s eyes, and he knew then that they had bad news for him.   
As diplomatically as he could, Robert explained that the magistrate had let the men go free and was also releasing William. No charge would be brought against Tanner or his friends either. The reason was that with Hadrian dying there was no more victim to accuse them of the attempted murder, and Hadrian did not die of poisoning. The apothecary had sworn that the tea and cake had been poisoned, but the magistrate had said it did not prove that William had done it.   
‘But Hadrian died because they attacked him! One has admitted doing it and signed a confession,’ cried Yannick.  
‘William said that we threatened his life if he did not sign, that the 2 names he gave were just to get us off his back, that he named Tanner because he had worked for him and had a grudge against the man.’ Robert sighed, ‘I told the magistrate that I had followed William to Tanner and the other ones’ houses, but he still refused to change his mind. He said that the description the constable had of the attackers was too vague to identify any of the three.’   
Robert was obviously deeply upset by the blow he had to deliver after such a harrowing morning. He expected Yannick to take it out of him, rant and rave maybe. The Frenchman’s reaction was very different, and Robert thought that ranting and raving would have rather reassured him. Yannick had sat down. He closed his eyes and took some long deep breaths. A cold implacable anger was sweeping over him. He knew what he had to do, he had wanted to do it earlier in the cellars, and his mind started to plan. Robert saw the cold determination on his face, and it did not bode well. When Yannick spoke his voice was quiet, he looked into Robert’s eyes:   
‘Well Robert, it looks as if this assignment has come to an end for you. You need a holiday. I will pay for you to go away, it would be best if you went today, for, let’s say, a week. Go and take the waters in Bath, plenty of people there now to keep you company.’   
Robert’s heart missed a beat, ‘you are going to kill them.’ It was a statement,   
‘Go away and be safe Robert. The least you know or guess the better it is. The magistrate knows you but does not know me. I will carry this out whatever your opinion about it. Leave tonight, be safe.’   
Robert did not hesitate long, he did not like it, but found it hard to blame the man. He knew in his heart that the magistrate could have done better and attempted to bring the matter to trial, he suspected that he had been bribed by Tanner. He did not share his suspicions with Yannick, worried that in his current frame of mind, the Frenchman could also attempt to punish the magistrate. He nodded, wished him good luck. Yannick told him to wait, he went to his room and came back with a purse. He handed it to Robert, not sure that the man would take it, he did. They stared at each other for a second and Robert left the house with a heavy heart.  
Yannick went back upstairs. He sat down by Hadrian’s bed, he would stay by his side tonight, he would give himself just one more night with his lover, then he would leave and return to the hotel and never come back. The family solicitor had been sent for by the butler. Tomorrow, Hadrian’s family would know of his demise and preparations would start for his funerals. He was not going to attend. He would mourn his love on his own when his task was accomplished.


	30. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yannick put his plan to execution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the first part of my story. The next part takes place one year later and will see Yannick meet an interesting attractive male who will give him reasons to smile again.  
> But this relationship will not go smoothly and he will also have to deal with Charley and Meredith's problems.

On the next day, before leaving the house, he spoke with Mrs Harvey and John. He told them that there was a position for them at his house in Cornwall if they wished to take it up. They both accepted gratefully. He told them he was going home today but understood that they had to stay on in London for the time being. There were duties to perform until Hadrian was put to rest, but after, if they still wished it they could travel to Cornwall. He wrote to Anne-Laure and Louis to inform them also that he was leaving earlier than planned due to unforeseen business. He knew the newspapers would report Hadrian’s death soon enough; Louis would make the connection of course.  
He booked a room at an inn near Oxford market. He chose a busy place where merchants stayed, arriving from the countryside every day to sell or buy in town, indifferent to others around them. Yannick went shopping for clothes before walking first to Soho Square and then to Tanner’s club. He did not want to waste any time. Tanner would meet his end before Hadrian was entombed. He kept watch on the house on Soho Square, he needed to know what Tanner looked like. He was rewarded in the afternoon when a youngish man came out of the house with a smug air on his face; Yannick thought bitterly that Tanner must have read the news of Hadrian’s demise in his morning newspaper. His looks fitted the man that Hadrian had described when he had met him: late twenties, meticulously attired and full of himself. He went out in a sedan chair and Yannick waited patiently for several hours until he returned. The door was immediately opened for him by the doorman who had obviously been waiting for his master to return.   
Yannick was satisfied. He now knew what Tanner looked like and he also knew from Hadrian that he spent all his evenings at his club, very valuable information to have. Yannick left it at that, he returned to the inn, but before he did, he went to Robert’s rooms in Magpy Alley and was pleased to hear from his landlady that Robert had left this very morning for Bath.   
Much later in the day, at nightfall, Yannick went out dressed in the plainclothes he had purchased earlier. If his guess was correct, the three murderers were going to celebrate tonight in their favourite tavern. He walked to ’The sanctuary’ and found the ‘The Peacock’ tavern without trouble. He went in for a drink, his face obscured by a cap, looking around for Hadrian’s murderers. They were around the same table and looking at the numerous bottles already on it, they were going to get very drunk. Tanner must have paid up. Celebrating no doubt thought Yannick sourly. It would not last, he was planning to murder these men cold-bloodedly and felt no qualms about it. He waited patiently, at the rate they were drinking, they were going to have to leave the room for a piss soon.   
The first one who got up was Abe Smith. He staggered towards the front door to relieve himself in the street. Yannick went out of the door nonchalantly, he saw his prey just a few paces away, his business already finished. Yannick moved fast before Smith had time to realise that someone was behind him, Yannick had grabbed his hair and pulled his head back with one hand slitting his throat neatly with the other. The man slumped down on the ground with a gurgling sound. Satisfied, Yannick pulled him around the corner, out of sight, and waited in the shadows.   
After a quarter of an hour or so, William came out, peering right and left and calling out for his accomplice. He walked towards the corner and was surprised to find Yannick coming out to face him, he recognized him, but it was too late, a dagger plunged through his heart. William’s corpse was also dragged around the corner, out of view.   
That left Davy Jones only to deal with; the most dangerous one probably, the one with a direct link to Tanner.   
Yannick waited a long time for Jones to appear. Finally, he saw him coming out of the pub and making his way to the side door leading to Smith’s room. He had taken a good look right and left searching for his companions; he did not notice Yannick hidden in the shadows. Yannick followed him and waited a little while before entering the building as well. Jones had gone upstairs, Yannick listened to find which room he had entered then he made his way up quickly, but before he reached the door, it opened again, and Jones got out, finding himself face to face with him. Yannick acted fast, he plunged his dagger up to the hilt in the man’s belly, twisting it as he did so. Jones stared at him in astonishment and sank to his knees. Yannick dragged his victim inside the room and closed the door. He smiled, he had been lucky.  
He ran down fast and returned to the spot where he had left the 2 corpses, propped up against a wall as if asleep. The river was nearby. He carried the first man on his back to the riverside and dumped him in the Thames; then he went back and repeated his action with the second one. Hopefully, the corpses would not be discovered too quickly, not before he had finished his mission.  
He suddenly felt drained. He would have liked to finish off Tanner that first night too, but he abandoned the idea. This first lot of killings had taken too much of his time, and if he wanted to kill Tanner at his club, it had to be done before he entered, he did not want to have to wait out all night for him to come out.   
There were many preparations needed for that murder. Yannick wanted the man to be aware that he was going to die, but he did not want to risk getting caught after the killing either. Tanner would live one more day.   
He returned to the inn and collapsed on his bed, physically exhausted. He had been worried that maybe sleep would elude him, but it did not. He slept deeply and woke up refreshed and ready to plan his last deed. The difficulty as he had seen it resided in the fact that Tanner got himself transported in a Sedan chair everywhere. It gave Yannick fewer opportunities to kill him with certainty in the street and escape safely. He would watch his quarry the next day nevertheless, just in case, and if he did not find an opportunity to act, it would have to be done at the club door, before he entered.   
Tanner did go out in the afternoon, but only to visit his solicitor. No opportunity then for his murderer. Determined that it would have to be tonight, Yannick secured the rent of a post-chaise for next dawn to take him back to Cornwall immediately after. He resolved to use a pistol instead of a knife. He did not like it because it meant that the crime would be immediately discovered with possible witnesses. He would have to run afterward even if that did not worry him.   
He knew that there were going to be people about but maybe it could work to his advantage, people would shout, scream, there would be confusion, and he bet that most would be more concerned with helping the victim or protecting themselves than running after a dangerous man. He bought a white wig, a brightly coloured coat, and breeches, and makeup. He painted his face with a lot of white and rouge and a patch for his cheek, in the way aristocrats did in the last century. He knew that he would be seen firing on Tanner, his unfashionable attire would be noticed and described by witnesses with probably a great deal more accuracy than his height or his age.  
Tanner went to the club at 10 pm every night he had told Hadrian. Yannick managed to leave the inn discreetly, his face hidden by a large hat and his gaudy clothes hidden under a coat. He put on his wig before dropping his hat and coat on a low wall near the club, knowing that they would be snatched quickly. It was 10 to 10, when he settled in the shadows against a wall, at the corner of the street watching the entrance. It was busy, as he had expected it to be, men went in, alone or with friends, on foot or dropped from carriages; the door was opened by a haughty doorman, checking each arrival before opening the door.   
Yannick had his pistol primed and ready. He was a good shot, but he wanted to be near his quarry, just in case, and he also wanted to see the fear in the man’s eyes when he saw that his death was upon him, so, when Tanner alighted from his sedan at 10, he approached quickly, despite a group of fashionable curs who were getting out of a carriage behind Tanner’s chair. As a matter of fact, they helped Yannick unwittingly because Tanner heard one of the men call him and he stopped before reaching the door and turned around. The men were dangerously close to Yannick, but they gave him time to approach to less than 6 feet away. He aimed his pistol at Tanner’s head, whispered, ‘justice for Lord Vernon,’ and watched the terror in his victim’s eyes before he fired and ran away as fast as he could.   
As he had guessed the commotion created panic and uncertainty which worked to his advantage. He heard screams, and someone starting to run behind him, but not for long. He was too fast and had taken too great a lead on his pursuer. He disappeared into the night.  
Satisfied that no one was following him, he washed his face in a fountain and got rid of his gaudy coat, breeches, and wig. He had plainclothes underneath. He reloaded his pistol then made his way leisurely first to a pub to get a drink, then back to the inn.  
The mission was accomplished. He was free to leave London. At dawn, he sat in the post-chaise and let his eyes drift unseeingly over the houses of the town, then on the countryside as the coachman sped on the roads as directed. They stopped frequently, the horses, hard pushed, needed changing every 15 to 20 miles. They made the most of the long summer days to cover as many miles as possible during daylight. They stopped at night in posting houses, Yannick made sure his coachman had a comfortable bed every night, he knew he was asking a lot from the man, so at least he deserved to get a decent night sleep.  
He had insisted that they did not stop at Honiton’s posting house. He could not bear the thought of staying in a place charged with so many happy memories, so they had stopped earlier and got a longer night's sleep which was just as well. It only took 3 days to get to Rosemarkie manor, it was very late, and the house was quiet. The coachman was given a bed for the night and Yannick went in search of the children, they were playing cards with Miss Leary when he walked in, they had not heard the carriage stop at the front of the manor. He was welcomed by cries of joy and was nearly smothered by Charley and Meredith.  
He hugged them tight and his emotions got the better of him. He had held them back to keep his head clear and accomplish his vengeful mission, cold determination had driven him these last few days, and had made him strong up until now. To hold his children in his arms made him crumble. Uncontrolled tears ran down his face as grief submerged him. Charley and Meredith guessed that something had gone dramatically wrong in their father’s life and they held him tighter still, letting his head buried in the crooks of their necks. Miss Leary stood there, deeply moved by this man’s distress, at a loss of how to help.  
After long minutes, Yannick pulled himself together. He kissed the children and thanked them. He asked after Nick, and after being told that he was fine, he said he was wary after traveling and that he would explain in the morning. Then he kissed them again, offered a little smile, and nod to Miss Leary and went up to his room.   
A footman had unpacked his traveling bag and he was surprised to find a small parcel left out for him on his bed. He opened the sealed note slid under the ribbon wrapping the little package and read Mrs Harvey’s few words:  
‘I had kept it for his lordship, bless him. I think you might want to keep it.’  
He opened the package with trembling hands and broke down at the sight of Hadrian’s hair. The long golden queue which had been cut off after his aggression had been braided and wrapped in a silk handkerchief. He got into bed, slipped the thick braid under his pillow, and cried himself to sleep.  
He woke up late with a sore head. He lay in bed awake for a while, getting his thoughts in order. The next few days and weeks were going to be difficult and he recalled the bad old days of the previous winter when he had let himself go into a depressed black mood which had threatened his household. He determined that he would not go down that path again. Although he was desperately sad, nothing could change the hard fact that although he had lost Hadrian forever, he had to go on living for his children and for the people on his estate who depended on him.   
Anne-Laure, her family and Louis were coming to Rosemarkie soon; the presence of his loved ones would help him through his ordeal, he was sure of it, it would stop him seeking solitude which would lead him to dark thoughts. And of course, Nicky needed him, the little boy was going to want a lot of attention from his father. At least the thugs had paid for their deed even if they had turned him into a murderer. It did not worry him in the slightest. He felt no guilt.

So, he got up, ready to face a future without his lover for lack of a better alternative.


End file.
